Chris' prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "Love"

There is one word that is repeated twelve times in this song, and that word is almost as important as the title of this song. The word that I'm talking about is now. The song gives plenty of ways that I can love: by turning the other cheek, by sacrificing of ourselves, by saying a prayer, but it also tells me over and over again when I should love. Now. Always now. Love should not wait. Not until I'm ready, not until the other person is ready. Not until next week, tomorrow, or in an hour. Not when she's around, or when he's gone, or when I feel like it. I should love now.

This is a lesson I need to be reminded of especially right now. Work is not going all that great, and I'm finding it hard to love when I am there. Hopefully tomorrow, I can think back to tonight's prayer, and rely on that to help me through.


iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "Love"

Let your actions speak louder than words and they will be heard.

I like to try and listen to the Sunday Sunday Sunday Podcast by Mark Hart every week. It's kinda like my second homily for the week (or usually, my first homily, cause I try to listen to it before mass). The main thing Mark talked about yesterday was "actions speak louder than words." Peter becomes the first person to publicly say "You are the Messiah." But when his actions didn't match that - he questioned what Jesus was stating about His death. Mark went on to say "if you and I aren't persecuted at least a little bit, we're probably not living the Gospel as boldly as we're called to live it."

When I listened to that podcast, and again today when I listened to this line, I began to think - are my actions really matching with what I'm saying. Truthfully, no. I'm a huge perfectionist and for some reason, I feel this need to come off as being a perfectionist. Especially now, coming off as perfect in my faith life and my prayer life, because if I'm not perfect, how can I really lead others to have a better faith life. So I find myself stating (not exactly) that I pray like 72 hours a day. And really, that's not true - partially because there's not 72 hours in a day. All these books I'm reading about youth ministry say that you need to be truthful with the teens, be vulnerable. Because they will see through fakeness. They will see through my 72-hour-a-day prayer. (: So I need to come away from my perfectionist ways, and make sure my actions really are matching up with my words, and my words with my actions.

Megan's prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "Love"

Let your actions speak louder than words
And they will be heard
And overflowing with love.

I love hearing the words "I love you." Honestly, it may be the best combination of three words in the English language (besides "free ice cream"). I believed for a long time that relationships were not "solid" unless those words had been exchanged. And then I started dating Chris. These words weren't said... for quite a while.

After three or four months, a friend of mine asked if me and Chris had said "I love you" yet. When I told her we hadn't, she seemed shocked. She asked if things were wrong, what we were waiting for, if the relationship was really serious - she wanted to know if it bothered me that we hadn't said it.

At first, the conversation kinda took me by surprise. I knew that I was in a great relationship, that things were going perfectly, but maybe my friend had a point.. Maybe the absence of those words were pointing to something. But then in the next instance, I knew that the words weren't the important thing. I knew that I was loved, not because of the words, but because of his actions. Those were, and still are, more important than anything.

Seeing the importance of actions, over words, had helped me in my faith. Saying I am Catholic, and showing that I am Catholic, are different things. I'm working a lot harder on showing, rather than just saying.

Megan's prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "Dirty"

Free to be the one thing you were meant to be

I believe that the one thing we were all meant to be is God's children. We are equal in the sense that God loves everyone of us the same, and no matter what we do, his love for us doesn't change. He sees us all as his children, and loves us all perfectly.

The sad part is that many people can't see that. We are all so quick to put labels on each other, and when we do that, people become defined by their labels. The one thing that we should be defined by is no longer God's child, but it is our race, or our gender, or our sexual orientation, or our physical build. We start to value those different than us less. We don't see that we are all first and foremost God's children.

I pray that this changes. I pray that we all become free to be the one thing (we) were meant to be. I pray that the labels go away. I pray that we see each other as another one of God's children and that all of the labels simply becomes things that make us unique, not things that define us.

Katie's prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "Dirty"

You may slip and fall from the burden's that you carry.

Recently (like last night into today), I feel like I have gained a tad more burdens than I can carry. The responsibility and planning of an event is now being handed off to me, even though it wasn't supposed to be. Ants invaded my kitchen like a month ago. After putting out liquid bait, they disappeared, but have recently come back. Today, there was supposed to be someone coming to fix that problem. It's 4pm and still, not one person. My dog hasn't been doing too good. She's getting old and the medicine that she's taking for her heart is causing kidney problems. And to make matters worse, my parents are on vacation. When my mom leaves, she suffers from a bit of depression. Obviously, not helping her situation any. The first youth group meeting is approaching, fast. And I still don't have volunteers who aren't parents. The first night, the parents are supposed to attend with their children, not be helping me. Suddenly, there's criticism coming from everywhere about the plans I've made for the youth group. From the food options, to the topics, to the icebreaker, to the time, everyone has an opinion. And it seems none of their opinions match up with what I have planned. On top of all that, I haven't spent time with a lot of my friends for at least a month now (most of them more than that).

But that's going to change soon. We're supposed to hang out tonight. When one of them texted me asking what I wanted to do, what I thought we should do, I said I wanted to escape the stressors of my life. I really hope this time with my friends, this time to unload all my feelings, this time to just relax, will really help me to fell less loaded down by burdens. And then tomorrow when I go to mass, I pray I'll feel even less loaded down.

Chris' prayer: Last Day's "Picking up the Pieces of the Lives We Left Behind"

Now here we are to pick up the pieces
Of the lives we left behind

Sometimes it is hard to be Christian. It is particularly hard when it involves making a change in how I live my life, or the things I find acceptable. When such a change occurs, it leaves others wondering what the difference is, and why it is there. "But you were okay with that last time," they say. "What's so different now?"

These times can be hard, but this song reminds me that they are necessary. I must stand firm in what I believe in, even if I didn't follow through on such in the past. I must be willing to pick up those pieces and even explain why the life I'm living now is not the same as the life I was just days ago. God's strength can help me do this. With Him on my side, I can become new again.


iTunes

Megan's prayer: Last Day's "Picking up the Pieces of the Lives We Left Behind"

Together we can run away
To a place that seems so far away.

I had a friend who "ran away" on night. She was dealing with a lot of change in her life, and all she really wanted to do was get away and go play on a playground. As innocent as that could have been, the playground her and her boyfriend ran away to was in Michigan. At 1am, they just got in their car, and drove to Michigan. I don't think anyone was too happy with this, she got in quite a bit of trouble, but in a small way, I envy her. There are so many times I have felt that it would just be easier to run away.

Although it isn't Michigan that I get to run away to, I feel like I am able to live these lyrics out every week. I have the chance to "run away" every week during my Holy Hour with Chris. The little chapel at St. Cletus really becomes a place that seems so far away. It is at those times that I can clear my mind, de-stress, and focus on what is truly important in my life.

Katie's prayer: Last Day's "Picking up the Pieces of the Lives We Left Behind"

Today is just another day

My thought this morning when I woke up was "Argh! Is it really morning? It can't be!" Sadly enough it was morning, and thus began my day, just like any other day. Nothing special planned for today. Work, lunch, library, gym, mail, dinner, little tv, blog, sleep (my favorite part). Just another day. But that's not true! Cause I just noticed that this is my 100th post!!!!! AHHHH! I know I already mentioned this earlier this week, but my love for this blog hit me again when I saw that I'm moving into triple digits!! I am so excited to be a part of this project, and I really hope there are enough songs in our combined libraries to make this last a long time. And I pray that I will always feel this way and continue to want to be a part of something that has changed my life and continues to change my life.

Megan's prayer: Cadet's "Father I Adore You"

How I love you

This line really stuck out to me tonight. I couldn't figure out exactly what the "how" meant. Was it a "how cute!" sort of "how" - just exclaiming my love for God, or was it the first part of a question, or was the previous line "I lay my life before you" describing how I love God?

Even if it isn't the right meaning of the line, it really got me thinking about how I love God. What is it about my life that shows God just how much I love him? While I try to show that love through all of my words and actions, is that enough? Shouldn't ever aspect of my life be a witness to my love? How do I even go about doing that?

Chris' prayer: Terrye Coelho Strom's "Father I Adore You"

It doesn't get much simpler than this. Simple melody, simple words, simple meaning.

That might be why it is sometimes so hard to pray authentically. There is no slack in the words, nothing to hide behind. There is no way to bend the lyrics to mean something easier. It is a very "naked" prayer, as in, standing there naked before God, revealing everything I am, and even harder, everything I'm not.

I can feel my spirituality slipping a little bit as my enthusiasm for the upcoming semester dips. I feel like this semester, or at least the beginning night has been planned for so long, I'm left with just waiting for it to come, and I feel I've been waiting for a little too long. I will be thankful when it is finally underway, and hopefully then I'll regain some of the excitement I had just a couple weeks ago. In the meantime, though, I come to God a bit anxious and with no way to hide that. That anxiety, that restlessness, is what is preventing me from praying more authentically tonight, and I just ask that He relieve me of that, if not tonight, then Sunday evening. I'm ready.


YouTube | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Terrye Coehlo Strom's "Father I adore You"

How I love You

I was doing some research today on possible future youth nights. I ran across this skit in a book about prayer:

Reader 1: Dear God, ...

God: I know!

Reader 1: What do you mean you know? What do you know?

God: Everything.

Reader 1: Well, if you're so smart, why should I bother to tell you anything?

God: Because I love to listen to you!

Reader 1: Oh, I see! Well, what do you want me to share with you?

God: Anything and everything!

Now, as corny as that little skit is, it's completely true! I easily fall into that trap of

I don't need to tell God anything, He already knows" Especially when it's something like sharing my love for Him. He already knows, so why bother. But today's song and that corny little skit reminded me that I need to express that love more often.

Megan's prayer: David Crowder Band's "Come and Listen"

Come and listen

I like to talk, especially when I'm praying. I tend to talk the whole time to God, and not give Him time to talk to me. Tonight I will focus on doing just the opposite. Instead of spending 15-20 minutes blogging about my prayer for the day, I'm ending this now, and going to spend time just listening to God.

Chris' prayer: David Crowder Band's "Come and Listen"

Come and listen

I'll be the first to admit that I don't truly listen often enough in my prayer life. I'll read books, or listen to music, hoping to catch glimpses of God through them, and I think that that happens just often enough that I'm content with not sitting and just listening, and letting God speak through the silence that surrounds me. I think I need those quiet times more. I need to be more comfortable with silence and just trust that I'll hear Him, and that He won't tell me things that are beyond my ability, that He will support and affirm me, giving me the answers I need, even if they aren't the answers I want. I need to trust more that I can be okay with that. I need to simply come and listen.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: David Crowder Band's "Come and Listen"

Come and listen

I cannot tell you how excited I was to first start this blogging project thing back in April. I was excited for how it would impact my prayer life. I was excited to share my experiences. I had no idea how much this one little daily blog would affect my life. Some days, it's hard to find time to blog or even listen to the song. Some days, I struggle with finding something to blog about. Some days, I know immediately after the first listen. Some days, I think I know immediately, but after more listening, I realize something else is a little more important. Some days, it's scary how perfect that song was for that day. Some days, I wonder if there's anyone out there (besides my fellow bloggers) who will actually read this.

Today, I was listening to the song at work, but I didn't want to bore people around me with the same song on repeat. So I opened up my "pray a new song" playlist and hit shuffle. Hearing some of those songs, it was less like listening to a song, and more like meeting up with an old friend. I remembered what stuck out to me when I blogged about it. Tried to determine if that's still my prayer associated with that song, or if it's changed. Is there a new lyric that sticks out to me? Am I still stuck in that rut in my faith life that it's the same prayer, even though that song was a month ago? I know I blogged about changing this or that in my life, but did I actually? How long did it last?

It's hard to believe, but I'm approaching month number 5! And I can't imagine my life without pray a new song! It's helped my faith life along, it makes sure I'm keeping in constant contact with God - even during the tough times, it gives me a place to publicly state my prayers - even if no one is reading, it has changed my life for the better. So thank you Chris, for creating such a place and inviting me to "come and listen."

Megan's prayer: Veggie Tales' "All Through The Night"

Sleep my child and peace attend thee
All throughout the night

I'm so excited to go to bed tonight. As I walked in my apartment this evening, it took all of my strength not to just jump into bed and fall fast asleep. I knew I still needed to pray, and finish up some homework.

But, when I do finally get the chance to go to sleep tonight, it is going to be wonderful. I've felt pretty drained for awhile now. Both physically drained because I haven't been sleeping well lately, and spiritually drained, because I feel that my faith has fallen back into a rut despite an amazing Encounter experience last week. I'm hoping to experience peace in both of these areas tonight. I'm hoping my 6-7 hours of sleep will be refreshing and prepare me for a wonderfully productive Tuesday. And I hope that my nightly prayer will bring peace to my faith life, and help me get out of this rut that I feel I am in.

Chris' prayer: Veggie Tales' "All through the Night"

Today was just about the perfect day.

I got to sleep in a bit, despite being woken up earlier than I had planned by a parade too close to my apartment. I watched one of the television shows I like, then enjoyed some "summer time" driving to my uncle and aunt's house to pick up a water purifier I'm borrowing from them. The weather was nice and the pavement was dry, so I had the music up loud and was singing along to all the lyrics. After picking up the purifier, I did a little shopping, then stopped for lunch and got a couple hours of reading in. Then, I headed over to my girlfriend's parents' house for a nice family dinner. And now, to end the day on a high note, I'm doing my nightly prayers.

It really couldn't have been any better of a day, and if you asked me just a couple days ago what I would be doing today, none of the above would have been on the list. And now, to top it all off, a wonderful lullaby to end the day.

Thank you, Lord, for the nice, relaxing day you have given me. Thank you for showing me, again, just how much you love me.

Katie's prayer: Veggie Tales' "All Through the Night"

Sleep my child and peace attend thee

All through the night

Guardian angels God will send thee

All through the night

I love night prayer. True, sometimes, I'm not the best at paying attention, sometimes, I'm not the best at actually praying it, but I still love it. One of my fellow staffers at camp said it best... I get a better night sleep when I've prayed before hand. Today's song reminded me of one of the lines said every night (actually twice every night)

Protect us Lord as we stay awake,watch over us as we sleep. That awake we may keep watch with Christ, and asleep rest in His peace.

Every time I say that prayer, my mind always focuses on the "and asleep rest in His peace." (maybe cause I'm about to go to sleep) But it's kinda repeated again in the song... "peace attend thee." Peace. Not thinking about what I need to do tomorrow. Not worrying about a million different things. Not thinking about things I could do with my youth group. Not thinking about anything. Just resting peacefully. I'm not so great about that resting thing. What I am great about is all those things I just put "not" before.

Some nights I'm good about stopping myself. Sometimes, like tonight, I'm reminded about how bad I've let it get, and how I need to try a little harder about getting back to resting.

Chris' prayer: Third Day's "Holy Spirit"

I'm not sure if this is theologically accurate, but I remember hearing it once: The Love that is shared between God the Father and God the Son is so great, so intensely real, that it is its own person of God: God the Spirit. Like I said, I'm not sure if that is theologically accurate, or if all denominations would agree with that wording or not, but I like it.

I've seen glimpses of true love in my lifetime, mere moments of a perfect love shown through imperfect beings. I've experienced that love in fleeting seconds and I know how powerful even love shown imperfectly can be. Even at that, it is life-changing. So, to imagine that Love is its own being, its own person of God, that the love between God and Jesus is that strong...it excites my heart, it stimulates my brain.

What is this Love? How can I be a part of it? Where do I sign up? I want in.


iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Third Day's "Hold Spirit"

I'm now without a care, It is something I can't explain
And I feel so free

School is typically stressful and overwhelming for me. I set such high standards for myself, and get upset when I don't quite achieve that goal. But this past week, things have been different. I'm not stressed about school. I have just as much homework as ever, but I'm without a care. I know it will get done, I know I will do well. It really is a freeing feeling.

I really like this feeling. I think it is a huge reminder of just how much God loves me and is taking care of me. He knows I can't handle the stress right now, so he is handling it until I'm ready to take back the responsibility.

Katie's prayer: Third Day's "Holy Spirit"

I feel like the Holy Spirit has been stalking me for the past year or so. The topic of my Bible Study during my senior year was the Holy Spirit. (It was only supposed to be first semester, but we were great about going on tangents and thus getting off track) And now, in addition to being the youth minister, I'm the incoming confirmation coordinator. Which, in case you didn't know, has lots to do with the Holy Spirit. Last week, I sat in on another parish's confirmation meeting. And just last night, I met up with one of my friends to talk about confirmation and confirmation prep and all that. And then today, the song, Holy Spirit by Third Day! I swear I'm being stalked. (:

But I think that's a good thing. I haven't had anything to do with confirmation since my own confirmation back in 8th grade. (that was a LONG time ago) And now I'm going to be expected to lead others through their confirmation process. I'm going to need lots of help from the Holy Spirit to accomplish this task. I feel as though I might just adopt the chorus from today's song as my prayer for the next few months. (:

Holy Spirit, we cry to You

Holy Spirit, in this place

Holy Spirit, give us comfort

Come down on us like a flame

Megan's prayer: Jonathan and Steven Cohen's "Friend of Mine"

I have a friend who constantly complains about her boyfriend. They are always in fights, not talking to each other. She tells me about once a week that she should probably break up with him, and I agree with her. She seems so unhappy with him, yet never breaks the cycle. She continues to date him, to complain about him. It's frustrating from my stand point to watch her so sad, then to see her come up with the solution (break up with him), to talk about it, but then to not follow through. She falls back into her old habits, when there is something so much better waiting for her.

I'm a bit hypocritical I guess. In my past prayer posts I have talked about how God is the only answer. Last night at Encounter they talked about how God is all we need. Even today, the lines that stuck out for me were "Comfort, peace and sweet release, Must come from you." I see the solution. I see that God is the only way. I've admitted it to myself, and yet so quickly I find myself reverting to my old ways. I don't know what is holding me back. I think I'm partially scared of what will happen if I do give myself completely to God. I'm scared of the unknown. And yet, I know God will provide for me, will take away my fear, as soon as I do give myself to him.

Katie's prayer: Jonathan and Stephen Cohen's "Friend of Mine"

When I was listening to this song this morning, the thing that stuck out was this: Turn our pain, keep our hearts, comfort us. At the time, I wasn't aware the singers were actually at the Columbine during the shooting, so it seemed odd to me that they would include themselves in the hurt and pain of the students. This made me think about how sometimes our pain is shared by God. It's not just me that's in pain, God feels it too.

But then, after doing a little research, I found out the singers were students at Columbine that were able to escape before being harmed. And I remembered something I read a while back. No matter what you are feeling, God understands because has already felt it. Temptation: He was in the desert for 40 days being tempted. Frustration: Scattering the coins of the money changers and overturning their tables. Rejection: From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. Loneliness: My God, My God, why have you forsaken me? It continued with more, but that's all I can remember.

But the point for today is that God understands, and he's there to let you know, I understand. I share in your pain, and your joy, and your frustration. And I'm here to comfort you. Please let me do what I'm here to do.

Turn our pain to Your gaze

Keep our hearts on the mark

Comfort us with your love again

Comfort, peace, and sweet release

Comes from You,

Where it's true, I hide myself in You.

Chris' prayer: Jonathan and Stephen Cohen's "Friend of Mine"

Comfort us with Your love again

This song was written by the Cohen brothers to be sung at the memorial for those killed in the Columbine high school massacre. It is this line I find most curious.

Again? When had any of the students, teachers, employees, and administrators ever experienced anything like this before? When had they ever been subject to anything so heartbreaking and crushing as what occured that day? I cannot imagine any of them had ever experienced anything close.

And yet, here the Cohen brothers are asking to be comforted *again*. And what, at first seems to me to be a strange choice of wording, I find myself liking more and more.

The comforting they are asking for comes from the *same* love that they had experienced before in other hurts. The Love that cures all, that heals all, is the same no matter how big the hurt, how deep the pain, how bruised and broken. The God that cures my ills is the same God who helped the survivors through their tragedy.

Megan's prayer: Eddie Espinosa's "Change My Heart"

Change my heart oh God
May I be like you

Everyday I try, and everyday I fall short, to love others as much as God loves them. I want to be like Him, to be an example of his perfect love, but I always come up short.

Although I try, I'm not sure my heart will ever be as big as God's... but I'll continue to pray that he transforms it so I can more perfectly show his love.

Chris' prayer: Eddie Espinosa's "Change My Heart, Oh God"

The instant this song started, it transported me back to grade school. Despite not ever hearing this song before, by the end of the first line, it just sounded to me like something we would sing at All School Masses during grade school. Then, I got to the part where the chorus is singing, and it sounded even more like those Masses. 400 or so kids, a few dozen teachers, a couple random parishioners, and songs like today's.

Back then, my spiritual journey was in its infancy. I was just a few feet from the starting line, but, I think, headed in the right direction. It has been a long road since then, full of ups and downs, twists and turns, but a journey that has ultimately been fulfilling. My life's greatest work lies in those metaphorical footsteps. A journey that is miles and miles from where it began, and yet still in the very same building.


iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Eddie Espinosa's "Change My Heart oh God"

I have listened to this song over a hundred times prior to today. But for some reason, I never noticed how the end just kinda randomly fades, and then sounds like it cuts off too early. Maybe cause I haven't ever listened to the song back to back to back until today. As I listened to the song all through out today, that was the only thing that stuck out to me. But I could understand how that related to my life right now, so I kept trying to find something else.

Then t hit me. Too often in my prayer life, I allow my brain to randomly fade and cut off too early. I'm really guilty about this during night prayer. I allow my brain to wander to things I need to do before going to bed, things I need to write down so I'll remember to do them in the morning, thinking about how nice it will be to be asleep, anything but where my brain should be - on night prayer. Tonight I'm going to make a much bigger effort on changing that.

Megan's prayer: Don Moen's "Blessed Be the Name of the Lord"

I loved how simple and straightforward today's song was.

Blessed be the name of the Lord
He is worthy to be praised and adored.

There is no question, there is no interpretation, there is no hidden meaning.

Sometimes I have to take this approach with my faith and my beliefs. While I could spend hours upon hours upon days discussing my faith and all it's aspects and my thoughts, sometimes I just need the watered down version. For me, the watered down version is "God loves me." While it doesn't encompass everything, it is definitely the stem my faith. And it is this thought that gets me through the rough times.

Chris' prayer: Don Moen's "Blessed Be the Name of the Lord"

So we lift up holy hands in one accord

This song was a tough one for me to pray through and figure out the part that was meant for me tonight. There aren't a whole lot of words and, like Katie said, it's fairly straight-forward. How am I supposed to expand on that? But as I was listening and reading along with the words, the word accord stuck out to me. I'm pretty sure that accord is one of those words that I was never taught, but just picked up along the way from hearing it in context. It has an familiar, yet unknown, quality to it. So, I decided to look it up in the dictionary.

There are a few different definitions, and the one that seems to be used here is basically in a united way. However, what stuck out to me was another of the definitions. The verb form can mean to give or grant someone power, status, or recognition. That, if you replace someone with God, is basically what Christianity is all about: granting God power over our lives, status as our Lord and Savior, and recognition as our Creator.

Sometimes the simplest songs have equally simple hidden messages.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Don Moen's "Blessed Be the Name of the Lord"

I really struggled with today's song. I listened to it countless of number of times. But still nothing was coming to me. I mean, Blessed be the Name of the Lord, He is worthy to be praised and adored. What else is there to say. It pretty much sums up everything.

Blessed be the Name of the Lord

He is worthy to be praised and adored.

Chris' prayer: Veggie Tales' "I Must Have It"

I don't like these, I don't need these.
I don't want these any longer.

My affection for those duckies isn't getting any stronger.

I think it is easy to listen to this song, to watch this video, and pick out how unlike God King George is. He doesn't value the duckies that he has at all, and doesn't want to concern himself with them. It stands in stark contrast to the Love that God bestows upon us. God loves each one of us so madly that He wouldn't comprehend losing affection for us.

But I think that there is another side to this, too. King George is willing to leave behind all the duckies he does have for that one ducky out there that he wishes was his. Does that sound familiar at all? What if the ducky was a sheep? Would it sound a little more like the shepherd who leaves his flock behind in search of the one missing sheep?

*shrugs* Random musings...


iTunes

Megan's prayer: Veggie Tales' "I Must Have It"

I have this strange ability to transform nonsecular songs into songs that have substance, songs that relate to my faith. Whether it's rap, or country, or even the "scream-o" music that I heard this summer at work, I always try to relate it to my faith. Sometimes it points out exactly what I don't want my faith to be, but it's still related.

Tonight, I have failed. I have never watched Veggie Tales, so I don't know any of the back stories. Just listening to the mp3, and not having the chance to watch the video, leaves me even more confused. I'm not sure why this song is about duckies, or how it is supposed to relate to my faith... But, since it is part of prayanewsong, I can assume that it is supposed to in some way.

I guess sometimes I'm not supposed to understand, I'm just supposed to trust. I struggle in not having solid understandings of things, but maybe this is just a lesson to let go, and let God deal with those issues. Maybe a little more reliance on God, and less reliance on my own understanding, will help my faith grow.

Katie's prayer: Veggie Tales' "I Must Have It"

What are you saying, that I shouldn't have whatever I want?

When I listen to this song, it's completely obvious King George is wrong. He's completely selfish and greedy. I'm so glad I'm not like King George. But, when I think about it more closely, I'm a lot more like King George than I would care to admit.

I can just picture this conversation going on with God being played by Louis and myself being played by King George. I want what I want and nothing else and if I don't get it I complain. Things I wanted before I suddenly changed my mind about. Although, unlike King George, what I want is not something material like a ducky, it's different things I want for my life, other people's opinions, how a day should go, things I can't actively control. But things God can. So instead of doing things myself that might affect all those things, I turn to God who I know can affect all those things and ask, correction tell, Him how things should go.

One of my favorite song lines of all time is "It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got." For some reason that lyric popped up a few times this past week, and then this song today. Once again, God is trying to send me a message. It's time to stop ordering God around and start appreciating the wonderful things in my life.

Megan's prayer: Michael W. Smith's "Place in this World"

Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world

As I made it back to my apartment tonight, around 11:00pm, I passed by the two most popular bars for SLU students. Being a beautiful night, the streets were packed with college students. While this is fun for a lot of people, it's not my cup of tea. Instead, I was heading back to my apartment to curl up with a movie, and my dog, and fall asleep early in the evening.

Although I was excited about how I planned to spend the end of my evening, I know plenty of people who would see it differently. Just this week a couple of girls in my classes couldn't understand why I didn't drink. One girl said it was silly to drive back to St. Charles 2-3 times a week to be part of my youth group. Even though all of these conversations happened during the middle of the day, I really felt like I was "roaming through the night".

I don't fit in at college. I'm not the typical student. Most of the time I'm okay with that, I'm sure of who I am and where my place is in the world. But sometimes, like this week, and tonight in particular, I start to question that. I start to wonder if maybe I have been missing out on something.

Where do I belong?

My prayer tonight is that God continues to show me where I belong. That I am able to feel a sense of belonging in the places where people love me the most.

Chris' prayer: Michael W. Smith's "Place in This World"

The wind is moving
But I am standing still

The above line talks about the wind moving, but it really could be talking about anything: work, church, friends, family. In all of these areas, at one time or another, I've felt like I was being passed by, just standing there while something, or someone, went on without me. It's a pretty helpless feeling. And it is a feeling that is pretty paralyzing, which, when I already feel I'm not moving is doubly bad.

It can be a struggle to keep moving, or to try to move, to create some forward momentum. But that momentum is vitally important to improving my spirits. Even the littlest things: a small project completed at work, my laundry washed, dried and folded, connecting with a friend at lunch; every little bit helps. It also helps to know that my God is there waiting for me to come to Him. It helps when I am able to realize that my place in this world is on my knees calling out to Him, because He can make everything better.



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Katie's prayer: Michael W. Smith's "Place in this World"

to find my place in this world

The other night, I had dinner with my cousin, his wife, and their 5 year old daughter. During dinner, I was asked a few questions that I've been asked many, MANY times. And every time, I answer the same way. After last night though, I began to wonder if how I was answering was not how I should be answering.

The questions were basically: Are you going to be in Kansas City forever? Are you going to go back to school? Do you ever plan on going back? Every time I'm faced with these questions, I get the feeling they are really asking if I plan on being a youth minister forever. And really trying to imply that what I'm doing isn't a real job, and asking when I'm going to go back to school so I can get a "real job."

My answers are basically: I don't know. I just know I'm done with school right now. I'm pretty sick of it at the moment. I need a break. We'll see what the future holds. Basically telling them I'm still trying to find out what I want to do.

But after telling my family that the other night, I realized that wasn't true. I feel like I've found my place in this world. I love doing youth ministry. In fact, I'd be completely happy if I never went back to school and I stayed with Holy Trinity and Twelve Apostles forever. (Who knows if that's what's really going to happen. God is a funny guy, He can do whatever He wants with me.) My answers are not matching up with my true feelings. As much as it will hurt the people asking the questions, I should really be telling them the truth... I honestly don't know what the future holds, but at the moment, I have no plans on going back to school, and if I do, it will be to get a degree related to youth ministry, because that's my job, and that's what I love.

Megan's prayer: Brenton Brown's "Lord, Reign in Me"

May my life reflect the beauty of my Lord

I strive to live out this line. I want others to look at me and just see God's reflection. I was to exude God's love, leaving no one to question whether or not they are loved.

I want to accomplish all of these things, and I try everyday to work towards it, but sometimes it is hard. Sometimes I think that I can't feel his love, that he has left me. Those times are the hardest to be a reflection of his beauty. But what I have begun to learn, is that even when I don't feel God's love, I can still feel love from those around me. And when I look closely, that truly is God's love reflecting off of others. If only I could spend less time searching for his love, and more time reflecting it to others.

Chris' prayer: Brenton Brown's "Lord, Reign in Me"

I will forever equate this song with the last night of the Steubenville conference I attended this summer, not because this song was played during the evening (it wasn't), but because of the word "reign." The plan that evening was to think about the things that we struggle with handing over to God and to actually take those, in written form, and place them underneath the cross of the Monstrance. The youth minister leading the night must have said the word "reign" a hundred times, and in a powerful and convicted way. He was sure that that is what he wanted God to do. "Lord, REIGN over my relationship with my wife. Lord, REIGN over my busy-ness. Lord, REIGN over my struggles with pain."

It was a powerful talk, and one that motivated everyone to figure out the things in their lives that God could reign over, and then to turn those over to Jesus at the cross. I was fortunate enough to lead the evening's closing prayer. It was rather easy to hand over to God what I was struggling with after spending an entire weekend in His presence, hearing about how awesome His power is, and how He can reign above all. But much harder to come back to St. Louis, to come back to work, and family, and other responsibilities, and *still* tell Him to reign in my life.

So my prayer for tonight is the same prayer I prayed that last night– a prayer for continued strength, continued reliance on Him, hopefully resulting in continuing to let Him reign in my life.


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Katie's prayer: Brenton Brown's "Lord, Reign In Me"

But my one request,

Lord, my only aim,

Is that you reign in me again.

My ONE request? I don't know about you, but I have a bit more than one request. I mean... God, please miraculously cure my dog; Lord, please make this traffic go away so I'm not late for work; This is the 100th time I've tried this, Please God make it work this time; passing along requests of others; etc. And that's only in the past 12 hours! The amount of requests I have varies, but it is hardly ever just 1. But as I was thinking about that, I realized that maybe it should be. Maybe I should have less requests of "here's how I want it to turn out cause that's what I think is best" and instead have that one request of "Lord, reign in me." That's all that's going to matter in the end, so why not focus on that?

Megan's prayer: Mary Mary's "Still My Child"

Now I know that I should be praying
But I haven't had much time

This is definitely one of my excuses for not praying as often as I should. I'm a busy person, and I some how justify giving up praying because of that busyness. When I think about it, I really should be doing the opposite. When I'm the most busy is when I am the most in need of God's help. When I am extremely stressed, it is when I need my time alone with God the most.

I hope that I can continue to realize that during this semester as I struggle with not having much free time. I hope that even in the craziest of times, I remember the importance of prayer.

Katie's prayer: Mary Mary's "Still My Child"

You are still My child

My child

I think I have a new favorite song. From the lyrics to the melody, everything thing about it. I just love it. I really listened to nothing but this song today. Already up to a play count of 66! The only problem is, there's so many things that stood out to me in this song, I couldn't pick just one! I'm still not sure if the part I'm blogging about is really the part I want to blog about. (: But I'm gonna do it anyway... (: So here goes!

I went to a Theology of the Body for Teens training seminar this past Saturday. It was amazing! I learned so much, not only about TOB, but how to teach it. I left that seminar wanting to read the leaders guide from front to back. And it's a pretty thick book! When I got home, though, things like dinner and exhaustion from thinking all day caught up to me, and I haven't had the chance to get back to it yet. One of the things Brian (our speaker) said that stuck out to me and I've thought about many times since Saturday was that everyone's number 1 vocation is to be God's child. Before you are a woman or man, you are first God's. Before you are a priest, religious, married or single, you are a child of God. It is so much a part of you and you can't change that. I mean, how cool is that? When God looks down on me, the first thing He sees isn't a woman, isn't a single person, isn't a youth minister, isn't "that big sinner," BUT IS "My beloved child, with whom I am well pleased."

Chris' prayer: Mary Mary's "Still My Child"

I went through a dry spell in my prayer life about a year and a half ago. It was the worse such spell I've ever gone through and it sucked. It wasn't that I didn't want to pray, but I just couldn't find the words, or feel any kind of emotion behind it. Every prayer felt forced and inauthentic. Even my singing, which usually feels so wonderfully good and filled with love, felt hollow. And, although I knew that God still loved me, and was happy with just the effort that I was giving, it was really tough to feel that– to know that He was still there with me, to know that I was still His child.

Standing on the other side of that spiritual drought, I can see now the things I learned by going through it, and am even thankful for those things. They have made me a stronger person. And I have realized that God really was there with me through it all, waiting patiently, helping me break through that wall.


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Katie's prayer: Ryan Toby's "Oh Happy Day"

I love Sister Act 2! It's one of my favorites. And this song is one of my favorite parts in the movie. The class has been working so hard to become a great choir and it's their first concert. The fear of what the audience will think and the stress of it all gets to them and they start off horrible. Now Sister Mary Clarence (Whoopi Goldberg), their director, could have let them finish off their horrible song and never tried again. But instead she brings out the stupid "la la la la la la la" that they had to repeat when they were first starting. After the la's they are so much better. But Sister Mary Clarence still doesn't stop there. She makes them go through even more la's. Amazingly they get even better, Ryan pulls out that super high note that even I can't reach and completely surprises Sister Mary Clarence.

I think I'm lucky to have a few people in my life like Sister Mary Clarence. They won't let me fail at life. They remind me of my beginning, why I'm here. And even when I do better, they still push me. I hope that like the choir, I do actually do better after I'm pushed. I also hope I become like Ryan and completely surprise them with how much better I am doing.

Megan's prayer: Ryan Toby's "Oh Happy Day"

I love this version of “Oh Happy Day.” I remember it from when I was younger, watching Sister Act II. And since then, I have watched this clip from Sister Act II on YouTube countless times.

First off, this is the perfect song for today. Today was such a “happy day”. I had the chance to learn, to work, to laugh, to pray with my boyfriend, to see Jesus, to visit with my family, and the chance to sing this amazing song over and over in the car. There was SO much joy in today.

More importantly, this song related so beautifully to my prayer yesterday. In the YouTube video for this song, the young man singing starts off so shy and reserved, and then slowly takes charge. He makes the song his own, wowing people with his performance. It’s just another reminder to me that I can also do this. I can reach out of my comfort zone, take risks, and I will wow people in the process.

Chris' prayer: Ryan Toby's "Oh Happy Day"

According to Wikipedia, this song has a long and storied history. Its current incarnation, is a gospel hymn that was written in 1967, but was based off a 18th century hymn. That hymn, in turn, draws its origins from an earlier hymn. That hymn drew its inspiration from the Bible. So, this song has been around in some form for a long, long time. So, in every sense of the word, this song is a classic.

The thing I love most about any piece of music that has reached that status is the sheer number of different versions you can find of it. Type in "Oh Happy Day" into the iTunes Store, and you'll get 150 matches– and none of them are this version here, meaning there are probably many, many more versions. One can spend hours scouring iTunes or YouTube looking for just the version that touches them, that connects them with the song. There's one for everybody.

Perhaps not coincidentally, the Jesus that is sung about in this song is the same way. He has so many different ways of touching each of us, that one of them is bound to work out just right. Our Savior is a personal, intimate, individual savior. He came and died for each one of us, and now He lives inside each one of us in a way that is completely unique, and yet of the same God.

Oh, happy day, indeed.


YouTube | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Casting Crowns' "Praise You with the Dance"

I will sing to the Lord
And I will lift my voice

I don't think that I have best singing voice. I really enjoy singing, and at the noon mass where I am surrounded by teens (and Chris) who drown me out, I will sing from the top of my lungs. I don't worry about if I am off key or out of tune. When I'm surrounded by others who support me, it's easy.

And then there are the times where I go to a different mass, or there aren't many teens present, or for some reason, I feel like I'm the only one singing. It's those times that I worry about being off key. I want to sing at the top of my lungs, but I can't bring myself to do it.

I think my faith life, and just life in general, follow similar patterns. It is really easy to do things when others are there, doing the same thing, covering up my mistakes, helping me do what I can't do alone. But I think the only way to grow is to force myself to sing alone sometimes, to take risks that may cause people to see my imperfections, to be a bit vulnerable. I think those are the times that will really help me grow.

Chris' prayer: Casting Crowns' "Praise You with the Dance"

You know what Christian music needs more of? Fiddle solos! There just aren't enough songs where artists just straight break it down with the fiddle. More fiddles, I say!

I'm being a bit facetious in saying that, but at the same time, I really like that part of the song. It just feels right for this song, this time. It probably wouldn't work on a thousand other songs, but for this one, it seems to. And that is pretty cool.

I don't know how many times I've thought about about people I know or have met. Whether it be a pair of glasses, or they way someone laughs, a particular word they use, or a hobby they pursue, I've often thought, "Not everyone could pull this off, but for some reason, here, with this person, it just works." When I'm able to recognize these things, I come to a deeper appreciation, acceptance, and even love for him or her. I feel closer to them.

And now, each time I find one of those things, I'll think of this song.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Casting Crowns "Praise You with the Dance"

I have listened to this song many times before today, over 100 times. But it wasn't until today, when I actually listened to the lyrics, when i realized there was something quite contradictory about this song. See if you can figure it out... I will SING to the Lord, and I'll SING glory, Hallelujah, I'll SING holy cause you're worthy. I'll praise You with the DANCE... the song is "Praise You with the Dance," but except for the line "I'll praise You with the dance," the lyrics all about praising God vocally, singing. It's a bit contradictory. I realized this in the morning and since then, I have been able to think about nothing but the times in my life when I've been contradictory, and even at times, hypocritical. And while I don't feel the need to share all those times with you, I do feel the need to change, to try and be better. Dear God, please help me!

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "Saved"

I sometimes struggle with inviting people to partake in spiritual activities. With the teens it is easy; it's kind of part of my "job." But with my friends, acquaintances, coworkers, and family, it is a lot harder for me to actively pursue them. I am more than happy to share my faith if asked, and to answer any questions they may have, but I find it hard to find the right words, the courage, the strength...something...to bring it up, or to press the issue at all. One of the things that I like most about myself– that I can be comfortable around anyone and make others feel comfortable– is one of the things that keeps me from rattling the boat, from actively pursuing the sharing of my faith.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Kutless' "Saved"

The love that fills my heart

The past few weeks, I have been slowly borrowing every VHS tape and DVD that church currently has. Watching each and every one of them, deciding if it's a resource I can or want to use. The movie I watched tonight is called "Entertaining Angels: the Dorothy Day Story" (see imdb) It's about the real life story of Dorothy Day. For those of you who don't know... this amazing woman, after converting to Catholicism, dedicated her life to the poor. She was basically Mother Teresa for America in the early 1900's. She wanted to bring to life the Christian message of everyone is Jesus and should be treated as such.

There was one part in the movie that really struck home for me. One of the homeless people being cared for by Dorothy committed suicide. After this, the people helping her took a vote and decided they weren't going to house drunks, prostitutes, druggies, or mental people anymore. It was causing too many problems for them. Dorothy went straight to the church and cried out in anger at God. Yelling. Because she didn't feel God anymore. She was tired of helping the poor. Tired of cleaning toilets all day. She then went to an old friend and said she was quitting. She was going to go back to her old life. Get back together with an old boyfriend/baby daddy. Get a job and get her life together. (Boy have I experienced that feeling before - minus the baby daddy part)

She went back to her home and, without going into to much detail, came to her senses. She told a particularly deranged woman that she saw Jesus in her. The woman argued saying that she couldn't. That no one could love her. Dorothy explained that she did see Jesus and that she loved her, that God loved her, that everyone there loved her. She then went into this speech about how she realized she was trying to do things by herself instead of God working through her. (experience that often too!) About how they needed to show their visitors love, God's love.

When I heard the phrase "love that fills my heart" in today's song, all I could think of was this story. The love Dorothy had not only filled her heart, but overflowed. She shared all she had with the poor. She shared the love God had for them. I think we all need to have a heart like Dorothy's. Let the love of God that fills our hearts overflow to those around us.

Megan's prayer: Kutless' "Saved"

As the new school year is right around the corner, I'm getting nervous about having time for everything in my life. Although by this time next week I know I won't be nervous, right now I'm worried I won't have enough time for all of the life teen things I have said I would do. I hope to be able to continue with CORE team, Life Nights, and especially BASIC, but today I've been questioning that.

Lord, please help me to live out today's song. Help me continue to find ways to remain strong in my faith, knowing what is most important in life.

I give my life to you - In faith I won't depart

Megan's prayer: Plus One's "Be"

I feel like the only thing that could have made this song more perfect would be to start it with "Dear Megan" and end it with "Love, God". It was the perfect love letter to me. It was the perfect reminder that I am not alone - that God is always here caring for me. No matter what happens in my life, I know I can always count on Him. This was exactly what I needed - the perfect way to end my not so perfect day.

Chris' prayer: Plus One's "Be"

I've spent a fairly significant amount of time investigating the idea of universalism- that all of God's children will one day be reunited with Him. I've read a handful of books on the matter and have grown quite fond of the idea. I realize that it is not a very popular theory, and one that is rather easy to argue against. But I like it. It helps me to be a better Christian. It helps me to judge less and love more. It helps me to accept people, to forgive them, to treat them as my equal. I hope for the salvation of all. I hope to be reunited forever with all of my brothers and sisters.

In tonight's song, I find God telling each of His children:

I promise to you
Forever, forever we will be

iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Plus One's "Be"

Just a whisper away

I'm closer to you

Than the air that you breathe

Believe me it's true

Every time I listened to this song, the phrase "just a whisper away" always stuck out. Sometimes it's so easy to believe that God is so far away. That He can't or doesn't hear my pleas. That there are so many people on this earth, it must be hard to follow all of them. I'm just one person on this planet, I can't be all that important. But then, I listen to this song. Just a whisper away... you have to be pretty close to someone to hear them whisper... I guess God isn't as far away as I believe. I'm closer to you than the air that you breathe... I took this to mean two things, God is close enough (physically) to hear my whisper, AND God is close enough (relationshippy) to know me personally, my hopes, dreams, fears, all of it. I'm more important in the eyes of God than I tend to believe.

Megan's prayer: Third Day's "I've Always Loved You"

I don't know how to explain it

The first line of the song pretty much explains my day. I really don't know how to explain it. I was filled with so many different emotions. At points, I was terrified, yet calm. Then I was angry, yet laughing. The day really just didn't make sense.

At one point of the day I was asked a question to which I didn't know how to respond. Even if I had been given days to formulate an answer, it would not have capture how I was truly feeling. Instead of making up something, I went with "I don't know how to explain it." While the typical response to that answer is something along the lines of "try" or "think harder" or some smart remark, my honest answer was met with a "perfect answer". My honestly, my inability to put feelings into words was okay. I didn't need to meet any expectations - just being me was the "perfect answer".

I think I need to start being more myself with God. When I come to Him in prayer, I think a lot of the times I am saying what I *think* a prayer should consist of, even if it isn't what my heart is saying. Although God knows what is truly deep down in me, it would be smart if I could begin to admit it myself.

Chris' prayer: Third Day's "I've Always Loved You"

I don't know how to explain it

Hmmm...Am I reading/hearing this right? This song, sung from God's perspective, opens with Him saying He isn't sure how to explain something? But can't God do everything? Surely He could explain to me anything that He wanted to in just the perfect way. At least, I would have thought that before listening to the first line in this song.

But then the rest of the verse unfolds and I realize that it isn't so much that He doesn't know how to explain it (in this case "it" being how much He loves me), but that sometimes I have closed myself off so much that I'm the one who is not capable of understanding. He has sent me miracles and signs and wonders, but sometimes that just isn't enough. They aren't enough for me to realize and accept the Love that God has for me.

Lord, help me to be more open to your Love and grace in my life.

iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Third Day's "I've Always Loved You"

I don't know how to explain it

Today, I was in a really good mood. And I don't know why. I had to attend a meeting this morning that I didn't want to go to. I found out, after I woke up, that the meeting was being held a half hour after I thought it was. So I could have slept in later. Because of this meeting, I was missing out on precious time that needed to be spent on other things at work. It was pouring down rain. It should have been a horrible morning. But for some reason, I was happy, I was smiling, I felt good.

As I was driving from the meeting to work, I was thinking about why I was feeling so good. I realized there were two main reasons why I was in a good mood. Number 1: I actually prayed morning prayer this morning. I haven't been the best about doing that recently (for some reason, sleep just seems better). Second, the first thing I did this morning (after morning prayer) was listen to this song. My day began with hearing God remind me that He loves me. Always and forever loves me. It didn't begin with depressing news. It didn't begin with me looking in the mirror and trying to change my groggy sleepy looking self into someone that looked better, more awake. It didn't begin with worrying about what to wear. It began with God. Praying to God and then listening to God share His love about me. Maybe I should start more mornings like that. (:

Don't you know I've always loved you

Even before there was time

Though you turn away

I'll tell you still

Don't you know I've always loved you

And I always will

Megan's prayer: Matt Maher's "For Your Glory"

The talk I went to tonight focused on finding the good in bad situations - specifically, finding God in the hardship of unemployment. Even though I am not unemployed currently, I still thought a talk could be interesting, especially since the speaker was Fr. Jeff.

Not surprisingly, I took away a lot from the night. The thing that stands out the most is the idea of looking at our struggles and finding the gifts God has given to us through them. It is in these troubled times that we most deeply encounter God and seek his help. It is through these times that we are challenged to change, to find out more about ourselves, our strengths and weaknesses.

In Matt Maher's song tonight, he talks of coming to God in all seasons... during all times of our lives. As I continue to encounter changes in my life and learning to deal with new struggles, I pray that I continually remember to come to God, for only he can help me.

Chris' prayer: Matt Maher's "For Your Glory"

Community is so important when it comes to spirituality. Having someone to walk with me on my journey has made the bad times bearable and the good times even better. It is nice to have someone to pray with, to celebrate with, to commiserate with, to learn from, to teach, and to just share my story and hear theirs. I absolutely could not imagine doing this alone. Being on that road with many, many other people means everything to me.

And yet, spirituality, and the choice to follow Christ, is an intensely personal thing. I am the one who must say "yes." I am the one who must pick up my cross and carry it. Today's song emphasizes the dichotomy between the community and the personal. The verses speak about how we humbly seek Him, our offering, and how we can love only because of Him. But the refrain speaks to the personal declaration, the individual choice, that each of us must make on our own: Everything I am is for Your glory.

Lord, help me make that declaration for my life each and every day.


iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Matt Maher's "For Your Glory"

And in all seasons, God we humbly seek Your face.

In all seasons, God we bow before Your throne.

The word that stuck out to me was "all" not when it's easy, not when it's comfortable, all the time. Every season, God, we seek you and bow before your throne. Sadly that's not always true. It's not always easy to seek God and bow before Him when it's "winter." a.k.a. spiritually dry. But I'm just now beginning to realize how important following God in those tough times is. If you really want to strengthen your prayer life, continue to pray, continue to seek God, continue to bow before the throne of God, continue to go to mass, continue to talk about your faith when it's hard. When those are the last thing you want to do. It takes a while, and lots of perseverance, but in the end it's totally worth it.

Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Hymn"

Oh gaze of love so melt my pride

This lyric really stuck out to me today. It particularly reminded me of a time when I fully experience this "gaze of love." I remember it very clearly. I had had a rough day, and was not in the best of moods. I had decided to just sulk in my self-pity at home, but Chris told me I could come over to watch TV, even though I was in a bad mood.

As we sat there, he looked at me with such love that all my problems and bad moods vanished. I had experienced this "gaze of love" that could make anything better. All the silly things that were bothering me were forgotten.

I think, on a day to day basis, I need to look around and experience God's "gaze of love" more often. He is there for me, he is there to take away all of my silly problems, I just need to let him in.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Hymn"

When I started this blog, the whole point was to work my way through my music collection and let the songs speak to me, and in particular, the ones I hadn't really paid attention to beforehand. Count this as one of those songs that I'd missed, or skipped over, every time it would play.

Some of my favorite Christian songs are the ones that encourage me to give thanks and to praise Him even in the difficult times. It is not that I've had the most difficult life, or that my suffering is particularly harsh– if I'm being honest, I've had a pretty easy life, all things considered. But we all have our stressors, all have the things that bring us down. Just this morning, in fact, I let a couple of things get to me that I really shouldn't have, and it caused my morning to sour.

Tonight's song, with that message– that we still need to praise Him when it isn't easy– coupled with the "lullaby" melody, make it the perfect song to end the day. I suppose that is just another reason why I should always be praising– because He always knows just what I need.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Hymn"

This song kinda bothered me. There were some lines that, to me, made no sense. It's like they wrote a sentence and then took out some words. And some sentences are complete, but I don't quite understand the point that the singer is trying to get across. (maybe I just need more sleep) I mean... That I may in Your house but kneel.. what does that mean? It's not completely coherent. But, you know, I thought about it, and sometimes my prayers are coherent. They are to me and hopefully they are to God. But if someone outside was listening in, they wouldn't understand the point behind my prayers, they might even think my sentences are totally messed up and make no sense at all. And I just realized, anyone reading this is "on the outside." I'm sure sometimes you don't fully understand my prayers, how I was led to something by the lyrics, or whatever. But that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I don't understand the point of this song, it doesn't matter that you might not be able to understand me. All that matters is that God understands, and He does, cause He's just that cool.

Chris' prayer: Paul Colman's "The One Thing"

I really like this song. I like the repetitiveness of the verses, with Colman singing about all of the things he has questioned in his life, and I like the consistent repetitive beat. My favorite part is the refrain, though. It reminds me of being a child.

When I would fall and scrape my knee, or bruise my shin or my arm, or get a lump on my head, I would run to my parents. I would tell them all about what was wrong, knowing that they alone had the magic whatever that would make it all better. And after spilling out my guts to them, all I wanted was to be held for a little while. I had told them what happened, and they had told me that I was going to make it, but what really reassured me each time was those moments of being held.

It is the same with this song. We come before God not sure of much of anything at all, but through His grace, we are able to know that He is consistent, He is eternal. And knowing that, all that is left for us is to be held in the arms of our maker.


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Katie's prayer: Paul Colman's "The One Thing"

Well I’ve questioned my friendships

Alliance, dependence

Who will still be here when I fall?

But the one thing I don’t question is You

You really love me like you say you do

Yea the one thing I don’t question is You

You really love me like you say you do

There have been a few people in my past that I called "friends" that when it came down to it became anything but. In 8th grade, a friend who suddenly decided it would be more fun to make fun of me behind my back than be friends with me. Junior year of college, a friend who also suddenly decided it would be more fun to make fun of me behind my back. And after she hurt me by that, decided it would be even more fun to pretend to be my friend again and lie about having terminal brain cancer. Senior year of college, a friend decided she would spill the secrets I told her to the rest of our friends.

And that's really only a portion of the people who have seriously hurt me. Because of this scarred past, I sometimes find it hard to grow closer to people and actually trust them. Because all the people I have opened up to and completely let my guard down are the same people listed above. And for a long time, it was hard for me to grow closer to God and actually trust Him because of my past experiences.

But I feel like my "lesson" for the past year or so is learning that God is quite different from humans. And I mean, if you think about it, it sounds kinda stupid. "I'm not going to tell God everything cause I'm afraid He'll spill my secret to someone else" really?! (: God isn't like that. But still, as much as I've been working on that part of my life, and as much as it makes more sense to trust God, I still have a bit more work to do.

Megan's prayer: Paul Colman's "The One Thing"

Well I've questioned my friendships
Alliance, dependence
Who will still be here when I fall?

During Junior year of high school, my best friend found “cooler” people to hang out with. While we used to have fun just hanging out or going to a park, she suddenly became more interested in guys, in going out with the popular people at school.

It was a hard time for me. I didn’t really know what was going to happen to our friendship. I was worried that I had lost the one person who would be there when I needed someone to talk to.

Apparently I didn’t have anything to worry about. I remember one particular night where I was just having a bad day, and without knowing what else to do, I called my friend at 2am. She was there for me – she sat on the phone listening to me cry – knowing exactly what to say. Although we weren’t as close at school anymore, she was still there for me.

Sometimes, my relationship with God seems to be falling. We don’t seem as close as we used to be, I forget to hang out with him as much as I should. But at the end of the day, I always know he will be there for me, even at 2am.

Megan's prayer: Barlow Girl's "Mirror"

I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect

Last night was the first night of the newly-formed prayer group at St. Cletus. The main focus of the night was about our individual prayer lives, and the struggles we face in our prayer lives. Being the designated "leader" for the night, I went first and shared with all the teens and other CORE members the struggles I face daily in my prayer life. Sometimes I get distracted, other times I can't even form words that make up a coherent sentence. I made it very clear to them that I was not perfect.

As the rest of the group shared, we all found one thing we had in common - it's not easy to be perfect. We all faced struggles in our prayer lives.

I think this part of the night was very important. By showing our own weaknesses, by sharing our failures, it allowed others to share their own shortcomings. We were all able to admit to ourselves that we aren't perfect - that our prayer life could use a little "boost". That sometimes it's okay to need help from those around you.

Katie's prayer: Barlow Girl's "Mirror"

A lot of times when I'm doing something, I feel the need to have noise of some kind in the background. Music, TV, whatever. When I have music though, I tend to stop what I'm doing and sing along. So when I'm at home, the noise factor is usually covered by the TV. Since I moved into my new place, I determined I can't really afford cable and I can live without it. Because of this, my TV show choices are not many and usually not good. Nevertheless, I have found myself watching such shows as Rupert, Babar, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Mathis, Big Brother, There Goes the Neighborhood, and More to Love. I'm not a proud watcher of these shows, but yet, I have been watching, or rather listening to them.

During today's song I was reminded of that last show - More to Love. It's basically The Bachelor with plus size people. The show really bothers me for many reasons. But one reason is that some of these girls have spent 5 minutes or less alone time with the dude, but in their interview time, they are professing their love for him. They just know that he is meant for them. Seriously?! You can't know that after 5 minutes. But thinking about it... I think the reason they are professing their love is because they finally met a man who loves them for them, who doesn't care what size they are, a man that thinks they are beautiful, a man who just wants to love them. Thinking about it more, I thought that they just needed to be introduced to Jesus. He loves you for you, He doesn't care what size you are, He thinks you are beautiful, He just wants to love you. You don't need a man ladies, you just need Jesus! (:

And then through all this thinking I realized the same is true for me. God loves me, thinks I'm beautiful and just wants to love me. What more could a girl ask for?

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me

Chris' prayer: BarlowGirl's "Mirror"

What is it that defines me?

In Mirror, Alyssa Barlow and her sisters tell the mirror that it does not define who they are. Instead, they are able to see a new reflection in the mirror, that of who God made them each to be.

I wonder, what is it that defines me? If I were describing myself to someone who doesn't know me, I would usually start out with my occupation: a graphic designer. Then I might talk about being the middle child, sandwiched between two girls. I might then talk about my hobbies, my involvement with Life Teen, my relationship status, my likes and dislikes. All of these, in some way, I let define me. But I wonder how God sees me. Am I still all of those things? Am I any of those things? How does He see me?


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Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Much Afraid"

I'm not exactly sure why, but I am very intrigued by meteors. It's something so drastic - a rock being burned up by the Earth's atmosphere - but it ends up being a beautiful sight. Tonight was the last night of the meteor shower, and I was determined to watch part of it.

I made my way to an empty field off of a dark road. At the time, my thought was "what's the worst that could happen?" I was carefree and ready to enjoy the show. But then I finally started thinking about those "worst that could happen" things. I was scared out of my mind by the demons I've made. I was convinced every noise I heard was someone walking up behind me. My eyes were playing tricks on me. I spent so much time looking around me at these imaginary things I was scared of, that I didn't even look at the sky for meteors.

Finally my crazy thoughts got the best of me and I got back in the car. I was still too stubborn to go home, so I called my parents, and they drove out and found me. From that point on, I wasn't scared of anything. It was wonderfully peaceful to just lay on a blanket, staring up at the clear night sky. I even saw about a dozen meteors. It ended up being a great night.

I think I go through similar issues with my faith. I'll run into times where I'm too scared about little issues that I've made up in my head, I'm not able to relax and focus on what is important. If I could simply remember that God is always with me, that in his presence things will always turn out in the end, then maybe I would be able to focus on the important things - the shooting stars - and not the demons I have made up in my mind.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Much Afraid"

So happy to love
Yet so far to go

Much of what I've learned over the past five years about my faith, and really about life in general, has been how to love more, and love more deeply. I have grown in ways I never could have previously imagined. I feel closer to my family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and even strangers as a result. I definitely feel like I'm at a different level with God. All of this makes me so very happy.

And yet, at the same time, it makes me realize just how bad I am at loving. I'm terribly inconsistent, prejudiced, conditional, and just plain bad at it sometimes. Knowing more about what love is, and how it works has revealed all of these flaws that I never would have noticed before. So, while knowing more about it has brought me great happiness, it also makes me realize that if I'm going to live that love that I now know, I have quite the distance to go before I'm good at it.


iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Much Afraid"

So happy to love
Yet so far to go
You lead me on to where I've never been before

One of my favorite phrases to say when I was in middle school was "So close, yet so far away." Don't ask why, cause I really don't know. Playing basketball, if I hit the rim or if I was no where near the hoop, I'd always be like "so close...yet so far away." Really anytime I got the excuse to use that phrase, I would.

All those things I want, things I think God wants for me that aren't happening right now but that I feel like I'm sooooo close to getting. In today's song, God finishes the phrase for me, "yet so far away." "I have so many more places to take you to before that can happen. Patience, My child, patience."

Dear Jesus,
Help me to be patient. Help me to see the importance of the journey rather than the destination.

Love,
Katie

Megan's prayer: Bebo Norman's "Yes I Will"

So you say "Come follow me"
So I will, yes I will

If Jesus came up to me today, and said "Hey Megan, why don't you come with me?" I would have no problem following him that instant.

But because Jesus isn't coming to visit me like that, I have to find the other ways in which the Lord is calling me to follow him. Sometimes I *think* I know how he wants me to follow him, but it turns out my own thoughts/ideas got in the way.

I'm trying harder. I'm trying to listen to God's voice and how he wants me to follow him. I hope that he knows that - I hope my actions show to those around me see that I am following him.

Chris' prayer: Bebo Norman's "Yes I Will"

How terrible the cross, how glorious

Huh? Terrible...and glorious? What on earth does that mean? How can the cross be both terrible and glorious?

I guess though, that that is just the nature of the cross. We hear all the time about how we are supposed to "take up our crosses" and follow Jesus. How, in doing so, it won't always be puppy dogs and ice cream– sometimes it will suck. Sometimes it will cause seemingly unbearable pain and heartache. But it is what we are called to do. And in the end, if we have been successful in dragging that cross which was made for us all the way to the top of the hill, we will see just why it was so important. All that hard work will be used to glorify Him.

I guess a cross can be both terrible and glorious.


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Katie's prayer: Bebo Norman's "Yes I will"

I will follow you
Follow You Jesus, all the way up that hill

The one thing that stuck out to me in this song was the phrase "all the way up that hill." Not some of the way, not part of the way. ALL the way. 100%. No if's and's or but's about it. But, I'm not always the best at that. I'm really great at saying that, "Yes, Jesus, I will follow you all the way, 100% of the way." But I'm also really great about secretly thinking 90% is close to 100% so it still counts. And then I get on this downward slope of "well 80% is close to 90%, so I'm still good." and so on. I think I'm slowly waking up to the fact that right now I'm really far from that 100%. I might actually be closer to 0 than 100. That fact kinda scares me a little. It's not how it should be and it's not how I want it to be.

Will I stumble in the darkness?
In my weakness, when I feel afraid
Hear me Jesus, Hear me Jesus, when I call Your name
Oh help me Lord, won't You help me Lord
Please help me Lord
Would you help me Lord
Help me Jesus, when I feel afraid

Megan's prayer: Chris Tomlin's "Be Glorified"

Be glorified in me

I want to glorify the Lord. I want to constantly praise him - to honor him with my thoughts and actions. Sometimes it's so hard, and sometimes I don't even think about it. I'll find something else that I think is more important, and focus my time on that.

Lord, help me to glorify you everyday.

Chris' prayer: Chris Tomlin's "Be Glorified"

I stand before you now with trembling hands lifted high

At the Steubenville conference I went to this past summer, one of the speakers talked about a quote he had once read. He said that the desire to please God pleases God. That we don't have to always succeed. We don't always have to be the perfect Christians. God is pleased at merely the effort, or even simpler, the desire to please Him.

That quote, I feel, is summed up in the line above. The desire is emphasized in the hands being lifted high, worshiping, praising, calling out to God. The imperfections– our fears, doubts, failures, weaknesses– signified by the trembling in our hands. Perhaps we're not sure why our hands our lifted, or maybe we're not sure what will happen if we give our lives to Him, or perhaps we just feel unworthy, or we're all to aware of our sinfulness. Whatever it is, whatever is making those hands tremble, it is important to remember that those hands are still lifted high.

And that pleases Him.


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Katie's prayer: Chris Tomlin's "Be Glorified"

Your life the air I breathe
Be glorified in me

From Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World:

The story is told of a young boy who approached an evangelist after a revival tent meeting. "Excuse me, sir?" the little boy said politely. "You said everyone should ask Jesus into their hearts, right?"
"That's right, son." The evangelist squatted down so he could look the boy in the eye. "Did you ask him in?"
"Well, I'd like to," the boy said, shuffling dirt with the toe of his shoe before returning his gaze to the evangelist. "But I got to figurin'... I'm so little and Jesus is so big - he's just gonna stick out all over!"
"That's the point, son," the evangelist said with a smile. "That's the point."

I sometimes wonder how much Jesus is sticking out in my life. Sometimes I wonder if people just consider me a nice, moral person full of good works. That's not how I want it to be. I want my relationship with God to be noticeable. I want God to stick out all over.

Chris' prayer: Casting Crowns' "Your Love is Extravagant"

The word that sticks out to me in this song is intimate. While typically given a sexual connotation in secular conversation, intimate also refers to that which is private and personal, detailed and thorough, familiar, and close. All words that I would want to describe my relationship with God. And while I'm sure that God intimately knows me, I can't help but feel that I need to do more on my end. I've kind of been coasting in my relationship lately and really need to find that connection again. I need to feel close to God again. Lord, I'm giving you permission to capture my heart again.


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Megan's prayer: Casting Crown's "Your Love is Extravagant"

This past Wednesday, we had senior night at Cletus to honor the teens who are going to college and leaving lifeteen. One of the ways we honor them is by having a CORE member stand up and say a few nice words about one teen - talking about how they have grown, changed over the years in lifeteen.

I had the opportunity to talk about Erin, a past blogger. I had thought about what I wanted to say about her, but hadn't written down anything specific. While listening to the music during the dinner, today's song came on. It's one of my favorite lifeteen songs, so I decided to use it as part of my speech for Erin.

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, so intimate
I find I'm moving to the rhythm of your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in this secret place

Well, as beautiful as the lyrics are, speaking them, and acting as though I had written them specifically for Erin, turned into a quite humorous situation. I felt like this was the perfect way to honor Erin. Bringing something so beautiful as this song, and sharing it with everyone, while we all had a chance to laugh together. Maybe some thought it was irreverent, or inappropriate, but that wasn't my intent. I find joy in laughing, and I was thrilled to share my joy with everyone around me in that way.

Just as this song brought me so much joy and laughter on Wednesday, I was filled with the same joy today. I had a wonderful day - I felt God's presence constantly. I'm so insanely lucky.

Katie's prayer: Casting Crowns "Your Love is Extravagant"

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate

You know, too often I sing along with songs without really listening to what they are saying, or sometimes even really understanding what they are saying. This is one of those songs. It's one of my favorites, but do I really listen to what is being sung. I mean, what does "extravagant" even really mean? Well I looked it up... "going beyond what is deserved or justifiable." Ok, well what does that mean for this song? God's love for us, for me, is so much more than I deserve. It's something I've known for a while, but something I still can't fully understand. God loves me! More than I know, more than I deserve, more than is justifiable, God loves me!

Sometimes it's so easy to look at how humans love and fool myself into thinking that's how God loves. Sometimes it's so easy for me forget about this extravagant love and think my undeservingness is greater than God's love. But that's not true. God is more powerful than anything. And he wants nothing more than to love me. I just have to let Him.

Capture my heart again.

Megan's prayer: Kutless' "All Alone"

I'd be with you, and help you in all that you go through

I've heard these words, or something similar, many times. Sadly, I've also experienced people going back on their word - sometimes even walking out of my life completely. People who I trusted with my heart, people who were supposed to be there during the hard times. Instead, they just created the hard times.

Luckily, I've always had God to rely on. I've come to know that he is there for me, he is going to help me in all that I go through. He isn't going to walk out on me.

Not only did God help me get through the hard times, he also blessed me with so many people who have promised to be with me and help me in all that I go through. Because they were sent from God, I know they won't back out on that promise.

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "All Alone"

If you would change your perspective

Fitting, this line. For that is what this song requires me to do. The overwhelming majority of songs I've prayed over so far on prayanewsong have been written from my perspective. This is one of the very, very few that are written from the other side of the prayer – from God's perspective.

By changing the perspective the song was written from, it forces me to look at my life and my relationship with God in a different way. I catch a very small glimpse of what He could be saying, of how He could be feeling when I am feeling all alone. This song, through the melody as well as the words, says that His heart breaks when mine does. His heart breaks when I pull away from Him. But still He calls out to me, "There is a brighter way."


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Kutless' "All Alone"

I know that, that you blame me for all that you go through
It could be so different if you would just let it go

Life is not always what you want, sometimes it's hard to bear
I'd be with you and help you in all that you go through
I love you, let me change your heart by coming in

Last night during night prayer God and I re-visted a popular topic. The one where I disagree with what He's doing with my life. One of the psalms said it perfectly

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord,
Lord, hear my voice!
O let your ears be attentive
to the voice of my pleading.

So often I'm looking at the things in my life that I don't like, and I blame God. "Well things aren't going how I want them to, but it's obviously how God wants them to go, so it's His fault things aren't how I want them to be." Twice in this song, that problem I have is addressed.

It could be so different if you'd just let go. Nailed it! Part of my problem. The things that aren't going my way are the same things I have such a hard time letting go and letting God. You know, it could be different if I let God do what He wants.

Life is not always what you want. I'd be with you and help you. I love you. It's true that some things are not going to go the way I want. But does that really matter? No matter how my life is going, how I think my life is going, God is always there and always loving me. Isn't that all that really matters?

Megan's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "In Christ"

and I may not amount to what you think is much

So, I struggle with my confidence. I have thoughts that I'm not good enough, happy enough, just "enough." I think this negative self-attitude really affects how others see me too. If I'm don't think I'm enough, how can I expect others to think differently?

Today, God graced me, multiple times, with validation that I am enough. That I do amount to something. In both a letter of recommendation written by a professor at SLU, and letters given to me from the graduating seniors of lifeteen, I was able to see how others see me. Although the people who surround me everyday do a great job of showing me what I am worth, it felt special to hear that from those that I encounter less often.

God truly knew exactly what I needed today.