Chris' prayer: BarlowGirl's "Mirror"

What is it that defines me?

In Mirror, Alyssa Barlow and her sisters tell the mirror that it does not define who they are. Instead, they are able to see a new reflection in the mirror, that of who God made them each to be.

I wonder, what is it that defines me? If I were describing myself to someone who doesn't know me, I would usually start out with my occupation: a graphic designer. Then I might talk about being the middle child, sandwiched between two girls. I might then talk about my hobbies, my involvement with Life Teen, my relationship status, my likes and dislikes. All of these, in some way, I let define me. But I wonder how God sees me. Am I still all of those things? Am I any of those things? How does He see me?


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Much Afraid"

I'm not exactly sure why, but I am very intrigued by meteors. It's something so drastic - a rock being burned up by the Earth's atmosphere - but it ends up being a beautiful sight. Tonight was the last night of the meteor shower, and I was determined to watch part of it.

I made my way to an empty field off of a dark road. At the time, my thought was "what's the worst that could happen?" I was carefree and ready to enjoy the show. But then I finally started thinking about those "worst that could happen" things. I was scared out of my mind by the demons I've made. I was convinced every noise I heard was someone walking up behind me. My eyes were playing tricks on me. I spent so much time looking around me at these imaginary things I was scared of, that I didn't even look at the sky for meteors.

Finally my crazy thoughts got the best of me and I got back in the car. I was still too stubborn to go home, so I called my parents, and they drove out and found me. From that point on, I wasn't scared of anything. It was wonderfully peaceful to just lay on a blanket, staring up at the clear night sky. I even saw about a dozen meteors. It ended up being a great night.

I think I go through similar issues with my faith. I'll run into times where I'm too scared about little issues that I've made up in my head, I'm not able to relax and focus on what is important. If I could simply remember that God is always with me, that in his presence things will always turn out in the end, then maybe I would be able to focus on the important things - the shooting stars - and not the demons I have made up in my mind.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Much Afraid"

So happy to love
Yet so far to go

Much of what I've learned over the past five years about my faith, and really about life in general, has been how to love more, and love more deeply. I have grown in ways I never could have previously imagined. I feel closer to my family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and even strangers as a result. I definitely feel like I'm at a different level with God. All of this makes me so very happy.

And yet, at the same time, it makes me realize just how bad I am at loving. I'm terribly inconsistent, prejudiced, conditional, and just plain bad at it sometimes. Knowing more about what love is, and how it works has revealed all of these flaws that I never would have noticed before. So, while knowing more about it has brought me great happiness, it also makes me realize that if I'm going to live that love that I now know, I have quite the distance to go before I'm good at it.


iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Much Afraid"

So happy to love
Yet so far to go
You lead me on to where I've never been before

One of my favorite phrases to say when I was in middle school was "So close, yet so far away." Don't ask why, cause I really don't know. Playing basketball, if I hit the rim or if I was no where near the hoop, I'd always be like "so close...yet so far away." Really anytime I got the excuse to use that phrase, I would.

All those things I want, things I think God wants for me that aren't happening right now but that I feel like I'm sooooo close to getting. In today's song, God finishes the phrase for me, "yet so far away." "I have so many more places to take you to before that can happen. Patience, My child, patience."

Dear Jesus,
Help me to be patient. Help me to see the importance of the journey rather than the destination.

Love,
Katie

Megan's prayer: Bebo Norman's "Yes I Will"

So you say "Come follow me"
So I will, yes I will

If Jesus came up to me today, and said "Hey Megan, why don't you come with me?" I would have no problem following him that instant.

But because Jesus isn't coming to visit me like that, I have to find the other ways in which the Lord is calling me to follow him. Sometimes I *think* I know how he wants me to follow him, but it turns out my own thoughts/ideas got in the way.

I'm trying harder. I'm trying to listen to God's voice and how he wants me to follow him. I hope that he knows that - I hope my actions show to those around me see that I am following him.

Chris' prayer: Bebo Norman's "Yes I Will"

How terrible the cross, how glorious

Huh? Terrible...and glorious? What on earth does that mean? How can the cross be both terrible and glorious?

I guess though, that that is just the nature of the cross. We hear all the time about how we are supposed to "take up our crosses" and follow Jesus. How, in doing so, it won't always be puppy dogs and ice cream– sometimes it will suck. Sometimes it will cause seemingly unbearable pain and heartache. But it is what we are called to do. And in the end, if we have been successful in dragging that cross which was made for us all the way to the top of the hill, we will see just why it was so important. All that hard work will be used to glorify Him.

I guess a cross can be both terrible and glorious.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Bebo Norman's "Yes I will"

I will follow you
Follow You Jesus, all the way up that hill

The one thing that stuck out to me in this song was the phrase "all the way up that hill." Not some of the way, not part of the way. ALL the way. 100%. No if's and's or but's about it. But, I'm not always the best at that. I'm really great at saying that, "Yes, Jesus, I will follow you all the way, 100% of the way." But I'm also really great about secretly thinking 90% is close to 100% so it still counts. And then I get on this downward slope of "well 80% is close to 90%, so I'm still good." and so on. I think I'm slowly waking up to the fact that right now I'm really far from that 100%. I might actually be closer to 0 than 100. That fact kinda scares me a little. It's not how it should be and it's not how I want it to be.

Will I stumble in the darkness?
In my weakness, when I feel afraid
Hear me Jesus, Hear me Jesus, when I call Your name
Oh help me Lord, won't You help me Lord
Please help me Lord
Would you help me Lord
Help me Jesus, when I feel afraid

Megan's prayer: Chris Tomlin's "Be Glorified"

Be glorified in me

I want to glorify the Lord. I want to constantly praise him - to honor him with my thoughts and actions. Sometimes it's so hard, and sometimes I don't even think about it. I'll find something else that I think is more important, and focus my time on that.

Lord, help me to glorify you everyday.

Chris' prayer: Chris Tomlin's "Be Glorified"

I stand before you now with trembling hands lifted high

At the Steubenville conference I went to this past summer, one of the speakers talked about a quote he had once read. He said that the desire to please God pleases God. That we don't have to always succeed. We don't always have to be the perfect Christians. God is pleased at merely the effort, or even simpler, the desire to please Him.

That quote, I feel, is summed up in the line above. The desire is emphasized in the hands being lifted high, worshiping, praising, calling out to God. The imperfections– our fears, doubts, failures, weaknesses– signified by the trembling in our hands. Perhaps we're not sure why our hands our lifted, or maybe we're not sure what will happen if we give our lives to Him, or perhaps we just feel unworthy, or we're all to aware of our sinfulness. Whatever it is, whatever is making those hands tremble, it is important to remember that those hands are still lifted high.

And that pleases Him.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Chris Tomlin's "Be Glorified"

Your life the air I breathe
Be glorified in me

From Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World:

The story is told of a young boy who approached an evangelist after a revival tent meeting. "Excuse me, sir?" the little boy said politely. "You said everyone should ask Jesus into their hearts, right?"
"That's right, son." The evangelist squatted down so he could look the boy in the eye. "Did you ask him in?"
"Well, I'd like to," the boy said, shuffling dirt with the toe of his shoe before returning his gaze to the evangelist. "But I got to figurin'... I'm so little and Jesus is so big - he's just gonna stick out all over!"
"That's the point, son," the evangelist said with a smile. "That's the point."

I sometimes wonder how much Jesus is sticking out in my life. Sometimes I wonder if people just consider me a nice, moral person full of good works. That's not how I want it to be. I want my relationship with God to be noticeable. I want God to stick out all over.

Chris' prayer: Casting Crowns' "Your Love is Extravagant"

The word that sticks out to me in this song is intimate. While typically given a sexual connotation in secular conversation, intimate also refers to that which is private and personal, detailed and thorough, familiar, and close. All words that I would want to describe my relationship with God. And while I'm sure that God intimately knows me, I can't help but feel that I need to do more on my end. I've kind of been coasting in my relationship lately and really need to find that connection again. I need to feel close to God again. Lord, I'm giving you permission to capture my heart again.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Casting Crown's "Your Love is Extravagant"

This past Wednesday, we had senior night at Cletus to honor the teens who are going to college and leaving lifeteen. One of the ways we honor them is by having a CORE member stand up and say a few nice words about one teen - talking about how they have grown, changed over the years in lifeteen.

I had the opportunity to talk about Erin, a past blogger. I had thought about what I wanted to say about her, but hadn't written down anything specific. While listening to the music during the dinner, today's song came on. It's one of my favorite lifeteen songs, so I decided to use it as part of my speech for Erin.

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, so intimate
I find I'm moving to the rhythm of your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in this secret place

Well, as beautiful as the lyrics are, speaking them, and acting as though I had written them specifically for Erin, turned into a quite humorous situation. I felt like this was the perfect way to honor Erin. Bringing something so beautiful as this song, and sharing it with everyone, while we all had a chance to laugh together. Maybe some thought it was irreverent, or inappropriate, but that wasn't my intent. I find joy in laughing, and I was thrilled to share my joy with everyone around me in that way.

Just as this song brought me so much joy and laughter on Wednesday, I was filled with the same joy today. I had a wonderful day - I felt God's presence constantly. I'm so insanely lucky.

Katie's prayer: Casting Crowns "Your Love is Extravagant"

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate

You know, too often I sing along with songs without really listening to what they are saying, or sometimes even really understanding what they are saying. This is one of those songs. It's one of my favorites, but do I really listen to what is being sung. I mean, what does "extravagant" even really mean? Well I looked it up... "going beyond what is deserved or justifiable." Ok, well what does that mean for this song? God's love for us, for me, is so much more than I deserve. It's something I've known for a while, but something I still can't fully understand. God loves me! More than I know, more than I deserve, more than is justifiable, God loves me!

Sometimes it's so easy to look at how humans love and fool myself into thinking that's how God loves. Sometimes it's so easy for me forget about this extravagant love and think my undeservingness is greater than God's love. But that's not true. God is more powerful than anything. And he wants nothing more than to love me. I just have to let Him.

Capture my heart again.

Megan's prayer: Kutless' "All Alone"

I'd be with you, and help you in all that you go through

I've heard these words, or something similar, many times. Sadly, I've also experienced people going back on their word - sometimes even walking out of my life completely. People who I trusted with my heart, people who were supposed to be there during the hard times. Instead, they just created the hard times.

Luckily, I've always had God to rely on. I've come to know that he is there for me, he is going to help me in all that I go through. He isn't going to walk out on me.

Not only did God help me get through the hard times, he also blessed me with so many people who have promised to be with me and help me in all that I go through. Because they were sent from God, I know they won't back out on that promise.

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "All Alone"

If you would change your perspective

Fitting, this line. For that is what this song requires me to do. The overwhelming majority of songs I've prayed over so far on prayanewsong have been written from my perspective. This is one of the very, very few that are written from the other side of the prayer – from God's perspective.

By changing the perspective the song was written from, it forces me to look at my life and my relationship with God in a different way. I catch a very small glimpse of what He could be saying, of how He could be feeling when I am feeling all alone. This song, through the melody as well as the words, says that His heart breaks when mine does. His heart breaks when I pull away from Him. But still He calls out to me, "There is a brighter way."


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Kutless' "All Alone"

I know that, that you blame me for all that you go through
It could be so different if you would just let it go

Life is not always what you want, sometimes it's hard to bear
I'd be with you and help you in all that you go through
I love you, let me change your heart by coming in

Last night during night prayer God and I re-visted a popular topic. The one where I disagree with what He's doing with my life. One of the psalms said it perfectly

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord,
Lord, hear my voice!
O let your ears be attentive
to the voice of my pleading.

So often I'm looking at the things in my life that I don't like, and I blame God. "Well things aren't going how I want them to, but it's obviously how God wants them to go, so it's His fault things aren't how I want them to be." Twice in this song, that problem I have is addressed.

It could be so different if you'd just let go. Nailed it! Part of my problem. The things that aren't going my way are the same things I have such a hard time letting go and letting God. You know, it could be different if I let God do what He wants.

Life is not always what you want. I'd be with you and help you. I love you. It's true that some things are not going to go the way I want. But does that really matter? No matter how my life is going, how I think my life is going, God is always there and always loving me. Isn't that all that really matters?

Megan's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "In Christ"

and I may not amount to what you think is much

So, I struggle with my confidence. I have thoughts that I'm not good enough, happy enough, just "enough." I think this negative self-attitude really affects how others see me too. If I'm don't think I'm enough, how can I expect others to think differently?

Today, God graced me, multiple times, with validation that I am enough. That I do amount to something. In both a letter of recommendation written by a professor at SLU, and letters given to me from the graduating seniors of lifeteen, I was able to see how others see me. Although the people who surround me everyday do a great job of showing me what I am worth, it felt special to hear that from those that I encounter less often.

God truly knew exactly what I needed today.

Chris' prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "In Christ"

And I may not amount to what you think is much

Forget not amounting to what others think is much, a lot of the time I have trouble amounting to what I think is much. My self esteem changes with each passing day. While it is great to say that when I'm not feeling too hot – soon it will change – it's not much fun when I am feeling confident.

This song reminds me that it isn't what I think about myself or my worth, or what others think about what I amount to, it is about what Christ sees in me. And what He sees was good enough for Him to die – for me. So when I'm feeling down, or even when I'm feeling strong about my worth, there is always someone who values me more, just for being me.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "In Christ"

But let me tell you something true
The very one who lives inside of me right now
Wants to live inside of you


This week I finally did something I should have done a long time ago... I got a bank account in the Kansas City area. My current bank is a St. Louis based credit union. So, I finally went to get an account with a bank that was closer than 4 hours.

While going through the process of signing up, I learned a lot about the lady helping me. She's Catholic. Has been to mass at Holy Trinity. Loves the parish, loves the priest. But hasn't been to mass for a while because she broke up with the dude who took her there every week. By the end of my visit, I had a new bank account and had someone convinced the lady to go back to church.

It's so amazing how when you least expect it, you get the chance to share your faith with someone. (I'm beginning to realize it happens a lot more now that I work for a church) (: and it's even more amazing when you realize your sharing was helpful. It just didn't go in one ear and out another. It kinda makes you wanna share more

Megan's prayer: Plus One's "God is in this Place"

the moment could be
here and now
when you need
someone to be there

It's amazing that no matter what day or time it is, or what the circumstances are, there is always someone there for me. When it comes to the "here and now" that I need someone, they are always simply a phone call away. I'm truly blessed to be surrounded by so many people who are there for me, to support me through all of my troubles. I am so thankful that God has given me this many amazing people in my life.

Chris' prayer: Plus One's "God is in This Place"

I need to say

Sometimes I wonder if I share my faith enough. I'm confident that I'll do it if asked, and that I won't deny believing anything I believe in, or at least I haven't found an instance so far in which to do so. But is that enough? Am I doing enough evangelizing by just responding when someone else shows an interest?

I see people who go out of their way in efforts to spread the Gospel, whether it be that guy on the street corner with the megaphone, for those college age kids coming door-to-door asking if I've met Jesus, and I wonder if that is what I'm supposed to be doing. Or maybe perhaps not something so extreme, but finding other ways to make my faith more visible and spread His Word. Or, by living my life the way I do, can others tell that I'm a Christian?

Is there something more that I need to say?

iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Plus One's "God is in this Place"

For almost a month now, I've lived alone. And I love it! I can do whatever I want. If I don't feel like putting something away, that's ok. I can decorate how I want. Everything in the fridge and cabinets is mine. I can watch whatever I want (which isn't really much since I'm not getting cable). It's amazing!

There is one downside though. I'm stuck with myself. If I have a really bad day, or a really good day, there's no one here to listen about it. No one to hang out with. No one here to share my life with and allow them to share their life with me. I have to put effort into it. I have to drive 15-30 sometimes even 45 minutes to see any of my friends. It's kinda lonely.

Today's song reminds me that whenever I feel lonely, God is there. When I want to share my day, good or bad, with someone, I can. I can hang out with Jesue. I can share my life with God and even let Him share His life with me, via The Bible. I still have to put in effort, but God is a lot closer, and whenever I need Him, He's there.


When you need
Someone to be there
I'm telling you
He's reaching out

Megan's prayer: Steven Curtis Chapman's "Hold on to Jesus"

the waves of fear are starting to grow

Lord, help me through these "waves of fear." Please continue to show me your love through those closest to me. Please help me to not fear the unknown, but rather to embrace life and all of the different adventures that it takes me on. Please be near to me so I can hold on to (you) for life.

Chris' prayer: Steven Curtis Chapman's "Hold on to Jesus"

Like a child holding on to a promise

It has been many years since I've been a child, but this is something I can still relate to. Whether that be from watching the children around me, or remembering it directly from my childhood, I remembered just how much weight a promise from my mom or dad or sisters would carry for me. There were very few things worth more than a promise at that young age, as, back then, a promise was a sure thing. Promises just didn't break.

Slowly I grew up and realized that that just wasn't the case. Others have broken the promises they have made to me, and I, too, have broken promises I've made to others. The magic, the weight, of the promise has been diminished as I've gotten older and become more cynical.

But that isn't true of everything I knew as a child. The love that Jesus has for me, and the promises that He has made to me remain just as strong today as they did when promises meant the world.


iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Steven Curtis Chapman's "Hold on to Jesus"

I think God might be trying to send me a message.
Yesterday, I went to lifeteen at St. Therese. The whole night was on "your purpose." In our small groups, we talked about what adults and teens find themselves doing over and over. The traps we get caught in (school, work, raising a family, etc.). And we talked about how we were made for more than that. We were made to worship God and to spread His word. The last question: "If you had a deeper understanding of who you were created to be and what you were created to do, how would that change your day tomorrow?" Their responses were that they would focus all their energy after reaching after that goal. After their replies it hit me... we just stated earlier that our purpose in life is to follow and worship God.... There's your deeper understanding right there! We already know all of our purposes. But the question is, are we really focusing all of our energy to reach that goal?

Then today, I'm checking the blogs I read frequently. This was the cartoon from Prayer Pups:
"I want to live my life so that EVERY DAY, God sees me and says 'Good Job!'"

THEN, I listen to today's song...

I will hold on to the hand of my Savior
And I will hold on with all my might
I will hold loosely to things that are fleeting
And hold on to Jesus
I will hold on to Jesus for life

I feel like recently, a lot of my life has just been fulfilling tasks on a list. I'm not really living my life. I'm making lists of things I need to do and checking them off as I complete them. Somedays, I'm even planning out my day to the minute - sometimes, days I don't have any meetings or work or anything, just doing laundry and such, and I'm still planning them out to the minute. And at the end of the day, is God really looking at me and saying "Good Job", did I focus all my energy at reaching my ultimate goal of heaven, did I hold on to Jesus with all my might and hold on loosely to the things that are fleeting. Not really. I just completed a task on a my list.

Megan's prayer: Plus One's "Written on My Heart"

I love my aunt and uncle from Kansas City. It has been great to see them this week, to get to talk to them, and of course, play with my little cousins.

One of the best things is just how interested they are in my life. Even though we only talk at length every few months, they remember what is going on in my life, and ask me for updates.

Today's topic of conversation while in the pool with my aunt was St. Cletus' life teen. While she already knew about my involvement in the group, she was interested in how I made it to Cletus, since it wasn't my home parish. I told her of my Junior year in high school where my friends convinced me to come to mass at Cletus, and how I instantly fell in love.

I found my destiny in you.

I realized I had found my destiny. Before then, my faith was present in my life, but did not have a leading role. After I rediscovered my faith, and realized God's love, I knew that I'd be hanging around Cletus, and God in general for a long while.

Katie's prayer: Plus One's "Written on my Heart"

How could I have been so blind
When you were always here
So near to me

You, you're in my soul
Wherever I go

This past week have been very frustrating. I was supposed to have internet in my apartment last Friday. For reasons unknown, that didn't happen, the activation date for no reason at all changed to Tuesday at 8pm. That didn't happen either. Something was wrong in the connection, bad enough they had to send someone out. Someone that couldn't come until today. Besides the obvious unfortunate sides of not having internet (email and such) I was also upset by the fact I couldn't blog. Because my ipod is way cool and remembers things, I could see what the song was for the day, couldn't necessarily listen to it. but I could read the lyrics. But if I didn't have time in that 9-9 time frame to make it by the library, then I couldn't blog about my prayer experience.

It really angered me Tuesday night. I couldn't listen to that song, but I could read the lyrics, and the lyrics really spoke to me. I couldn't wait for XLT to end so I could go straight home and finally get internet and blog my prayer. Imagine my disappointment when I got home and there was no internet. On top of that, I still didn't have a washer and dryer, I was starting to run out of clothes to wear. I remember texting Chris about how angry I was that I couldn't blog on one of my favorite song days. His reply kinda surprised me and it really shouldn't have. "If you pray about it, you will find that you don't need the internet to pray. All hope is not lost!"

How stupid was I, duh Katie, you don't need the internet to pray! You don't need to broadcast your prayer to everyone for God to hear it! God is always there right with you - with or without internet. As glad as I am to finally have internet, I'm kinda glad that I had that break from it so I could come to the realization that as amazing as this blog is, I don't need it to pray.

Chris' prayer: Plus One's "Written on My Heart"

Your love brought out the best in me

How true this is! God's Love, love from those around us, or love from a stranger. When I am feeling loved from all of these sources, or any one of these sources, it makes me a better person. I'm happier, I do a better job at work, I interact with people better, and I just plain do better stuff. Love, whoever delivers it to me, has this profound effect that nothing else has. Love causes me to be a better person, and to do the things I do, however significant or insignificant, better. Love changes everything it touches.

What a great thought to reflect on the rest of my day, where I will join some of those who love me on vacation!


iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Deliriou?'s "Open the Eyes of My Heart"

I'm a visual learner. Watching a demonstration helps me understand much better what is going on rather than just reading directions. 

Even in my faith, I'm a visual person. One of the most important visuals is Jesus in the Eucharist. Normally I get to spend an hour with him each Tuesday during Holy Hour, but I didn't have a chance to go this week because I'm on vacation. I think missing it has made me want to go even more. I love that time spent hanging out with Jesus. I love the physical form that he is in during that hour.

I can't wait till mass on Sunday, and then for Holy Hour on Tuesday.

I want to see you.

Chris' prayer: Delirious?'s "Open the Eyes of My Heart"

I'm having a really hard time seeing through the eyes of my heart tonight. Nothing has gone as I had planned when I woke up today, and it has been a frustrating day. As little of my future I have planned, I usually have each day planned and I know what to expect. I know where I have to be, what I have to do, and how it will go. When that plan gets upset or disrupted, it throws me off. I have a hard time enjoying whatever it is that is going on, because I'm stuck thinking about how it should have been, or what I should have accomplished. Instead of looking through the eyes of my heart, I'm looking through frustrated, disappointed eyes.

My prayer for tonight, and, really, for each day, is that I can let go of my expectations more, and come to experience each day that God has planned for me, even if it isn't exactly what I have planned. I need to look through the eyes of my heart more.


Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Trouble Is"

On my own these wings won't fly

Yesterday, I took my 4 year old cousin kayaking. She was in the front, "paddling."  She didn't want me to be paddling in the back - she wanted to do it on her own. As much as I respected her independence, I knew we wouldn't get anywhere if she was the only one rowing.
It was a hard lesson for me to learn, but I finally realized I can't do it all on my own. Just as my little cousin will one day realize she needed my help today rowing, I am constantly realizing the times in my life when I couldn't do it on my own - where God guided me, even if he did it without me knowing. I am so lucky to have a God that cares about me - one that looks out for me, even when I don't think I need the help.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Trouble is"

Jesus told me so
Still I'm not so sure that I know

I didn't get very far along in this song before the words jumped out and grabbed me, reminding me of my stubbornness. How hard-headed can I be, that my Lord would tell me something, and yet I still waffle on it, choosing to believe something else. I'm sure it's a stubborn thing, a pride thing, a false confidence thing...and a bad thing. I wish, wish that I could just believe what He's told me because it is Him, and I'm hopefully working toward that point, but it can't come fast enough.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Mary Mary's "I Got It"

Times seem so hard...
...Then I remember that maybe
I just forgot to pray

Although I pray every night with prayanewsong, sometimes I forget to pray other times throughout the day. I forget that God is always there waiting to hear from me, not just at 11pm at night. I forget that I should instantly turn to God when times get rough, instead of letting them get me down.

When I remember that, when I realize I just need to turn to God and pray, things always turn around.

Chris' prayer: Mary Mary's "I Got It"

My heart tells me to rejoice

Sometimes I need this reminder. Alright, to be honest, I very often need this reminder. I'm generally a pretty happy person, but I can't say that I rejoice all that often. In the happy times, I need to rejoice. In the sad times, I need to rejoice. In the in between times, I need to rejoice. Not just be happy, but be overjoyed, be thankful, rejoice. Remind me of that, okay?


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "All the Words"

Worship is our response to what we value most.
-Louie Giglio

I never really thought about worship in a non-religious sense until I heard this quote. But from this quote it is clear that everyone, religious and non-religious, worships. It is just a matter of what we worship. And to what extent we worship. Does what I value most consume all of the words in all of my life, as lead singer Jon Micah Sumrall sings? And, in my mind and my heart, do I believe that the object of my worship is worth that?

For me, that second question is the easy one. Absolutely. It is the first question that is a little more difficult. Am I worshiping with everything– all that I am? And, when/if I'm not, what is stopping me?


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Kutless' "All the Words"

I will praise you for it's all I have to give.

There was a girl that served with me at camp that loved the phrase "Praise God!" It didn't matter the situation, she would always reply with "Praise God!" It was good, cause it got you in that mindset of praising God for everything. But it was also bad, because half the time she said it, the last thing I wanted to do was praise God. Things were going badly, they weren't working out as planned, they weren't going to how I felt they should go, it was not the time to be praising God, it was the time to be complaining to God!

But by week 5, I was just like her, praising God for everything, even the "bad" times, because however it turned out was how God wanted it to turn out. Coming back to the real world, I kinda slowly lost my constant "praise God" response. But randomly, for no reason at all, this past week I found myself saying it. Multiple times on the float trip I went on with my parish, a few times today at work.

As I was listening to this song on my way home, and thinking about my friend and her favorite phrase, I realized this week has been a complete week (or more) of things not going my way. And instead of praising God, I have been complaining. But God does have a reason for everything, so...

I'm sunburned, Praise God! I'm still not unpacked from moving, Praise God! I still don't have internet in my apartment even though I should, Praise God! Canceling the cable at the old apartment is going to be more complicated than I thought, Praise God! There are a million and one things on my list that should have been completed last week, Praise God! God, I know there must be a reason for all this "bad" things in my life right now. Please help me to see that reason, and help me to continue to praise you, even when I don't like the situation.

Megan's prayer: Kutless' "All the Words"

all of my love
which is nothing to hide
so I lift up my hands and I worship
I worship you

I don't like doing hand motions to songs in Church. To me, it feels forced, and it doesn't enhance my experience. I enjoy watching others around me do it, but I'm not comfortable doing it.

Apparently that didn't matter yesterday. As the last song of mass started, all the teens started dancing around. During the refrain to the song, they all threw up their hands. I was enjoying just the singing to praise God, but apparently Chris didn't think it was enough. As the refrain came around a second time, Chris grabbed my arm - forcing me to participate.

We all looked silly. I think that was my initial inhibition as to why I didn't do it - but I was forced to get over that. Who cares how silly I looked? As today's song says "all of my love which is nothing to hide." I guess this means I'll be doing motions more often.

Chris' prayer: Plus One's "The Promise"

I've been to several trivia nights. I love them. It's a great time to get together with friends and family and work together to try to see how much cumulative knowledge you have as a group. Unfortunately, usually that isn't much. I usually say, only half-seriously, that my team, no matter how many opponents we have, always finish third to last. Sadly, most of the time that is pretty accurate.

Once, however, when participating with a group of friends, we did much, much better. One of my friends seemed to know the answer to every question asked. He knew every small detail about such a wide variety of topics. I was shocked at the depth and breadth of his knowledge.

However, as deep and wide as his knowledge was that night, it pales in comparison to the knowledge of my Lord. He knows every star in the sky, every single tear that [I] cry. He knows the smallest detail about my life, each and every moment in recorded in His memory. And He knows each detail for everyone and everything He has created. It is a comforting thought for those nights where I feel like no one understands or knows what I'm going through– He does.


iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Plus One's "The Promise"

When hope has disappeared
And your heart aches
You might not recognize
The touch of grace

When I'm going through a rough time, I have a hard time seeing the good things in life. I hate it, but I tend to focus on what the problem, and not see just how great I have it. The worst is when I'm struggling with my faith. When I can't see God's love perfectly clear, I tend to block out all of the little things that would point to his love. I'm unable to recognize his love and grace because it isn't always in the form that I thought it should be in.

I hope that when I go through these rough times, I'm able to focus on the little things that show God's love. I hope that focusing on these things will help me to see the bigger picture, and again realize his love.

Megan's prayer: Hezekiah Walker's "Let's Dance"

Growing up, my family's faith was always important. We prayed before each meal. We attended Church every Sunday. We were a good Catholic family.

Even though our faith was present in all of our lives, I am the only one of my family who has really become passionate about growing in my faith through LifeTeen, and trying to share that faith with others. I'm not sure why my other siblings don't do similar, but I guess they just have other ways of living their faith.

Even though my siblings aren't in the youth ministry program like I am, I still constantly bring it up in conversation. Since Tim is still in high school, I'm always trying to get him to attend events. Although I'm at a pretty high failure rate for convincing him to come, I continually ask him. I really don't like how bad my track record is, but for some reason, I keep asking.

Tonight's song, I think, shed a little light onto my persistence with Tim.

It's never too late if you want to celebrate in the body of Christ like me

Luckily, I believe this statement. Luckily, being turned down multiple times by Tim hasn't made me give up faith. I know that, even if he graduates from high school without attending another life teen event, he won't be ruined for life or anything like that. No one has missed their chance to celebrate God's love. The joy found in a relationship with God never expires. How amazing!

Chris' prayer: Hezekiah Walker's "Let's Dance"

If you came to the praise party then you can't leave the same way you came in

I witnessed this very thing this past weekend at a youth conference. Whenever someone encounters love-a real, true, selfless love-it always causes change. It is unavoidable. Sometimes the change is easy, but other times it isn't so comfortable. Sometimes it forces us to take the more difficult path. When the more difficult path is taken, it enacts even more change. I know a lot of times, I live my life just trying to stay on easy path, never really risking anything. But the truth is, if I want to grow as a person, if I want to love more, and more deeply, I have to take that difficult path. I have to invite love into my life, knowing that it is going to expect some hard things of me, and I need to be prepared to do them. I cannot leave each encounter the same way I came in.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Kutless' "Draw Me Close"

Tonight's song lyrics are absolutely beautiful. It's a great song to sing, and even better to use as a jumping off point for tonight's prayer. One line, in particular, stood out tonight - it was exactly what my prayer has been to God.

Help me know you are near

Lord, help me to see your love in my life. Help me to sense your presence in all that I do. Help me during those times that I feel the most lost

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "Draw Me Close"

I tend to convince myself that I always need the "next big thing," particularly if that thing is technology related. I feel like I have to be on the cusp of tech goodness, and have been what marketers like to call an "early adopter" on several, several occasions. I'll admit, it is fun. But the thing about technology, and trying to keep up with it, is that it is a losing battle. There is always something else coming out a month or two later that is faster, has more storage, combines more gadgets, integrates more things, or is just plain shinier. My techno-lust will never be satisfied.

Tonight, I sing about something that will satisfy me, if I trust it. The love that my creator has for me will fill me spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically. I just need to say those words:

Draw me close to You

YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Barlow Girl's "Harder than the First Time"

I'll take Your hand.

What a comforting thought to go to bed with - taking God's hand. He is there for me, he will lead me through my struggles. All I have to do is be open to holding his hand.

Chris' prayer: BarlowGirl's "Harder than the First Time"

I didn't see You
But God I want to

The other night, after both the conference and the wrap-up day we had just attend were over, I had a teen ask me if we could talk. He confessed to me that he felt like he had missed something during the weekend, that he had hoped the weekend would be more clear, that he wanted it to be that way. Instead, he now felt completely lost, unsure of what lay ahead for him short term as well as long.

It is a feeling that was not unfamiliar to me. In fact, the first time I attended this particular conference, I felt the same way. I told this particular teen that it was awesome that the feeling of loss bothered him as much as it did. It showed spiritual growth and a reluctance to be satisfied in his faith. Indeed, I have seen much growth from him in the time I've known him. I have no trouble believing that the f0llowing line will soon apply to him, just as it did for me many years ago:

You've come alive
And I think I've fallen harder than the first time

YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "No One Loves Me Like You"

Honestly, it's been a rough weekend for me. Even as I sit here, praying, I'm having a hard time. For the past few days, I have felt (for lack of a better word) disposable. Unnecessary. Easily replaced. Like Woody from Toy Story.

Obviously, I don't like this feeling. I've tried being positive about it, but it isn't going too well. I don't even know who to talk to.

The one thing that has helped me tonight is a story from the Bible that randomly popped into my head driving home from work. It's the story of the shepherd who loses a sheep. Instead of just cutting his loses, he leaves his flock to go in search of the lost sheep. To him, it is not okay to only have 99% of his sheep. That one sheep is irreplaceable. That one lost sheep is important enough for the shepherd to go looking for.

I hope hope hope that God really is like that shepherd. I don't want him to just give up on that one lost sheep and rejoice about the other 99% that he still has. I want to be, like that sheep, wanted. I want to be needed, irreplaceable.

I don't think I have anything to worry about. Tonight's song reminded me that "no one loves me like you, no one loves me the way you do." Even if everyone else abandons me and just stays with the rest of the flock, I know God won't. I know his love is so intense and powerful, and that he won't just leave me wandering alone for long.

I really hope he finds me tonight.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "No One Loves Me Like You"

Yet nothing unforgiven lies

I'll be the first to admit that I find going to confession uncomfortable. I think that part of it has to do with actually admitting and saying aloud the things that I'm not too proud of, the areas in my life in which I have failed to make the loving decision. But another part of it is that while I intellectually understand that, in the eyes of my Father, nothing unforgiven lies after confession, I'm not sure I am always emotionally able to grasp that. It's like, how could He just wipe that clean? Surely it can't be that easy for Him.

But it is. It always is. No matter what I've done, He is willing and able to forgive me. All I have to do is come to Him, call to Him, ask Him for forgiveness. Surely, no one loves me like [Him].


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Chris' prayer: Tree63's "Joy (Shining Light)"

Let me be a joy to You always

We touched on this tonight at the conference I am on, and I'm glad God has chosen to emphasize the point tonight via the daily song. God is always happy to hear from us, to talk to us, to see us. Every time we come to Him, we bring him joy. He, in that way, is like a puppy who waits and waits for his owner to come home and upon finally seeing her is overcome with joy. Except God doesn't piddle all over the place. (:

Megan's prayer: Tree63's "Joy"

I read an article today about nightly prayer, and one suggested way to approach it. This article suggested praying about the past 24 hours. There were 5 steps, each of which you were supposed to try out while reading the article, but I only made it through the first step.

It called for you to go back through your day, hour by hour, and tell God everything you were thankful for during the day. It said to give thanks for the big things that were unique to that day, but also the minor details that we so often take for granted.

The article even said that if you fall asleep during this part of the prayer at night, that it's okay. Giving God thanks is important, and falling asleep while in the midst of praising God was a great way to end your night.

Falling asleep is exactly what happened to me. I wasn't even that tired going into prayer, but I apparently got very detailed in my thankfulness. I remember making it to about 2pm in my thankfulness, then I guess I feel asleep.

Luckily, my roommate coming home, and my dog growling at him, woke me up, and reminded me I had forgotten to finish my nightly prayer.

Now, as I head back to sleep, I have even more things to be thankful for today.

So thankful Lord

Katie's prayer: Tree63's "Joy"

I wanna be a joy to You always. 

I have a phone date with my mother every Sunday afternoon. We discuss life, what's going on her side of the state, what's going on my side of the state, anything really. My mom is one of my best friends, so these discussions are usually a very enjoyable experience. Usually. There have been times we've discussed things that we disagree on. When that happens, the conversation usually ends soon and we agree to disagree. But, by the time for our next conversation (either the next week or a random call during the week) we've both put it behind us. Conversation continues normally. 

I feel like the same thing can happen with God. (although it's more often than a weekly date with Him) Conversation goes great. When we reach a subject we disagree on, sometimes the conversation might end there. Sometimes it will go on forever with me pleading my side. But in the end, that one disgreement from that one conversation does not affect my relationship with God. At least not on my end. I can only pray the same is true for God. 

In both cases, I never like the disagreement part. (Who really does?) I just wanna be a joy to them all the time which means not disagreeing with them. But that would mean giving up my will, my wants. I don't wanna do that. (: so I'm stuck. But I think God's joy is more imporant than me getting my way, or trying to get my way.   

Katie's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Five Candles (You Were There)

I would jump if I'd knew you'd catch me

Also at this bible study I went to, we were discussing believing. The leader, Chris, stood by a chair and explained, that by looking at the chair he believes it could hold him up. He could have one of the guys come over and jump on it. And he'd still believe it would hold him up. But he wasn't really believing, becauce he never sat on the chair to test his belief. True belief invovles trust. 

I heard this lyric near the beginning and thought well wait a second, shouldn't you be jumping anyway regardless of whether or not you knew you'd be caught? Sometimes trust and belief meants you don't know. 

But then it does kinda make sense because I do find myself not wanting to jump at times because I'm afraid I won't be caught at the bottom. My fear needs to get out of the way so my belief can rule my life.  

Katie's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Sinking"

(my Internet crashed and I had no other way of posting these. But I still wrote them and thus still wanted to post them)

 Tonight I was at a bible study. Near the end, the guy leading it was talking about a retreat he was a leader on. The one night they would discuss their sins and downfalls. The next night, they would discuss Jesus and the cross and how Jesus died for our sins. He was talking abou how after that night, he asked one of the kids his thoughts. The kid replied, "I didn't ask him to do that for me."

I feel like this song kinda touches on that. How sometimes we don't ask God for things, but we get them anyway. God knows what we need and gives it to us. And as I was thinking about that, I realized God gave me a lot today that I never asked for. I got help with planning dates for youth events. I heard words of kindness from the people in the bible study. They prayed over me at the end, and so many of the things they said just seemed to resonate in my life right now. At one point I almost wanted to cry because the dude talking had no idea how much what he was saying was true for my life rigth now. And right as I was thinking that, he said something like 'and not many people know it.' freaky God moment. But anyways... Point of prayer: God is willing and able to give you whatever you need, you just have to be willing to accept it. 

Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Five Candles (You Were There)"

I would jump if I knew you'd catch me.

I remember in sixth grade going to camp with my class. On the first day, my small group participated in a team building obstacle course. The final task was the trust fall. Although I had gone to school with all of these people for the past 6 years, I was in a group with other kids I didn't know all that well. Being the shy and very awkward/self-conscious girl, I really didn't want to do the trust fall. I didn't want to have to rely on these people I didn't know to catch me from falling.

My camp counselor made me do it. She made everyone participate. Somehow, I ended up going first. As I stood on the ledge, I was scared out of my mind. As I fell back, to my surprise, I landed in a sea of arms of my classmates - unharmed. They had caught me. I instantly felt closer to them all. I instantly trusted them all. I even did the trust fall again.

Why is it that I have such a hard time trusting God sometimes? I know him much better than I did my classmates on the trust fall. He's been watching out for me for the past 21 years. He has always been there to catch me when I fall.

Why is it that even though he has caught me so many times previously, that I can't jump confidently, 100%, into my faith?

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Five Candles (You Were There)"

Things I never asked you for

Yesterday, I was going through my closet, pulling out some clothes for a trip down to a youth conference this weekend. In looking at some of my t-shirts, I noticed that some of my favorite ones, both present and past, are ones that I didn't pick out myself. One was a Christmas present from my parents, another a just-because present from a former girlfriend, yet another a birthday present from my sister. None of them were asked for; all are my favorites.

Some of my favorite moments in my spiritual life have been the same way: it hasn't been the things I've asked for that have had the most impact, it has been the things I never asked God for, and the things I never even thought to ask for, that have impacted me the most.

My family and friends have picked out gifts that I would never have asked for that I just love, and God has given me gifts that are just perfect for me, without me even having to ask for them. He must know me pretty well. (:

Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Sinking"

So you can stop "caring" as you call it
And I'll be fine right here.

Wow. I'm not proud to admit it, but these words could be verbatim of past fights with boyfriends/friends. I sometimes take this weird defensive side and act like I don't care about what happens - that I don't need that person in my life.

Obviously, it's a silly thing to do. I don't just go around fighting strangers. I am fighting cause something is wrong and I *do* care about it. I'm fighting to make things better, but I take this weird approach where I act like I'm fine, like I don't care.

I wouldn't like to be on the other side of a fight with me. I tend to get irrational.

Luckily God doesn't stop caring. Luckily he over looks my silliness and knows that I won't be "fine right here." I'm so glad he is smarter than that, and knows what I truly need.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Sinking"

You can't hear what I'm not saying
And I can hold out long enough

I've been learning over the course of the past couple years just how important it is to apologize. Even when I don't think I'm the one in the wrong, or that the other person should be the first to apologize, I've been slowly learning the power of setting aside my pride and offering that olive branch.

A lot of times, it is a very tough thing to do. It's tough to do when I know I'm the one who needs to apologize, and it's even tougher when I believe I'm not. But each and every time I'm able to do that, I've grown as a person. Each of us has a need to forgive AND a need to be forgiven. The more we practice one, the easier the other becomes as well.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Marcy Priest's "My Drink"

Being the typical Tuesday evening, I found myself in the corner chair of the St. Cletus Adoration Chapel. My wonderful weekly Holy Hour spent with God.

While I normally spend the first and last few minutes talking to God, today, as I knelt in front of Jesus, all I could do was stare. I just got so caught up in everything that I forgot all my prayers.

As I head to bed tonight, and say my prayers, I plan to revisit my day.

Jesus,

on you I meditate.

Katie's prayer: Marcy Priest's "My Drink"

You are my love.

I've heard it said many times that your faith life isn't just your religion, it is a relationship with God. And to maintain that relationship, you need to keep in constant contact. I mean you wouldn't be very good friends with someone you only hear from occasionally. The same is true with God. That's why I try hard to keep constant contact with God. From more structured prayer like liturgy of the hous, mass, and so on to more free prayer like this blog, my prayer walks, my conversation with God right before bed, adoration, etc. As much as I love the structured prayer, I think I love the more free prayer better because it allows me to express my exact feelings. For me, it's this type of prayer that makes it feel more like a relationship. But when life gets busy and things in my schedule have to be moved around or even deleted, I find it's always the more free prayer that gets pushed aside. I can't tell you the last time I went to adoration that wasn't XLT. I can't tell you the last time I went on a prayer walk. And lately, I haven't even wanted to do my conversation with God before bed. I find myself saying 'I just did night prayer, that should be ok. Besides I'm really tired, I'd really rather be asleep.' I'm really lucky God isn't like us stupid humans. Otherwise we'd totally no longer be friends.

I think it's time to start making more of an effort on that relationship. But as I'm sitting here thinking that, I'm also thinking but not this week. It's just too busy. God understands my schedule, He's ok with it. But that's not how it should be! I'm going to try! Really, I am! Cause if I really am in love with God, then I need to start acting like it.

Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Fly"

All the promises of faith
Come alive when you see home

Although I currently call many places "home", my faith "home" is St. Cletus, without a doubt. Whether it's been a couple of months since I've been there, or only a few hours, I'm always excited to be there.

It is always filled with love. My faith just thrives when I am inside, surrounded by those who care about me and share in my faith.

My faith really does come alive when I am at "home".

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Fly"

Let your hand melt into mine

After going four years without a seriously relationship, and now finding myself on the cusp of one whole year with my girlfriend, one of the things that I absolutely love about being in a relationship is holding hands. I love wrapping my fingers around Megan's, and feeling hers wrap around mine. I love the tightness when we both squeeze, and I love the comfortableness when we aren't. I love, more than anything, how well our two hands fit together. Hands seem made to be held.

I also love how everything just drips away when my hand is being held by hers. All of my worries, my fears, my anxiety, just melt when her hand wraps around mine. Most of the time, I feel the same about my faith. I know that I have expressed shortcomings and areas which need improvement on here, but tonight I rejoice in the ways my faith and spirituality relieve me of my fears and anxiety. It is wonderfully comforting to know that I have a Maker who is always looking out for me, always cradling me in the palm of His hand.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Fly"

This week is going to be one hectic week. Besides sleep, the only real free time I have until Sunday is right now. And even now, I shouldn't be free, I should be doing one of the million things I've got to do. I'm moving on Friday, so there's like a billion and one things to do to get that in order. I'm going to be putting in about 21 hours this week at the diocese, 10-15 at Holy Trinity. I've this young adult thing to go to tomorrow night, a Bible study the next night, the next night my parents are coming into town and I have to entertain them, or rather, have them help me finish packing and buying stuff before moving the next day! Then on Saturday I'm helping my roommate move. There's just so much already going on this week, and now I'm adding moving on top of that, which means packing. It's just so stressful!

I was actually thinking earlier today, how in the WORLD am I going to have any time for prayanewsong? How am I going to blog after I pack up my computer tonight (cause tonight's the only time I have to do so)? Which is just really adding to the stress of this week. Then I turned on today's song...

be still
let your hand melt into mine

Like God's ALWAYS telling me. Be still, don't worry. Everything will be fine. You'll find time to blog, you'll find a way to blog, things will be done on time, everything will be fine, just don't worry. Take a deep breath, hold my hand and let me guide you. And suddenly I'm fine again.

Megan's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Give Up, Let Go"

I'm pretty sure I take my free will for granted. I forget just how amazing it is that God gave me the ability to choose how I spend my time. This freedom to choose is great. But, at the same time, I often think that my own choices are the best - that I know what will make me happy.

I try to hold my own life in my own hands.

What I need is God's help to guide me in my choices. I need to look to God before making decisions. I need to work on praying more for his help in difficult situation.... He's just waiting for permission.

Chris' prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Give Up, Let Go"

A couple weeks ago, the air conditioning in my car started going in and out. When this happened, the car would start to overheat. It would be okay for awhile, and then it would start to do it again. For whatever reason, having car issues at that time was totally freaking me out. I just knew that it would be a $1500 repair, if not more, and then, at that point, it would probably be better to just get a new car, but then how could I possibly afford that?

I laid across two chairs, in the fetal position, with my head on my girlfriend's lap, just completely and utterly consumed with the fear of my car dying. Intellectually, I knew that, in the worst case scenario, I would have to buy a car just to get me by, something I didn't really love, but would be "good enough." That was the worst case scenario, something I knew I could survive, but emotionally, it was overwhelming.

It turned out that the part of the A/C that was going bad was just a $15 part, and that my car cost less than $100 to fix, total. All that freaking out for absolutely nothing. I told my small group later on that the next step for me in my faith was to give up control and concern over my car. I know it seems fairly straightforward, but for me it is a huge struggle. And it's easy to not worry about now, when my car is working, and hopefully I won't be tested again for awhile, but I know what the test is: I need to give up, let go.


iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Give up, Let go"

And oh, sometimes the old me creeps back in
And oh, the only thing I know to do is give it all to You again

I have the hardest time picking a favorite song. It changes pretty much weekly, sometimes even daily. It all depends on how my life is going, and what song speaks to me. Today's song is one that has been my favorite many times. Since I acquired this song in 2007 (thanks Chris!) it's been in the top five of my most played songs. Most of the time it has spent in the number 1 spot.

I think the reason this song has been in the top so often is because I so often relate to it. I try and I try and I try to give it all to God. But like the song states, the old me just creeps back in, without me even realizing it! And suddenly, I'm making all the plans in my life without consulting God. Then something happens, I realize it, and try to give it all back up again. That's exactly what happened after I heard today's song. After finding out I got the job, I slowly began to take back the control. It's time to give it all to God again!

Help me give up, yeah, help me let go.

Megan's prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "Favor"

Today over lunch, Chris and I discussed what we each thought were the best ways to plan LifeTeen events. Personally, I like being organized. I like have the night planned out well in advance and only have a few minor details to iron out at the end. Last minute changes cause all of the previous planning to be pointless.

Chris had a different view. Although he is willing to put in the time planning the life nights in advance, if last minute changes are called for, he is able to go with the flow. In the end, it doesn't matter how well the night was planned or how well the talk was executed. What does matter is that the teens felt love during the night.

I guess now, after listening to this song and reading the lyrics, I can start to see his point.

The time has come to put away all our differences
And unify through the Lord

.
I should not be upset when last minute changes occur. There shouldn't be any disagreement amongst the Core team. If we could all step back from our own personal views and look at the bigger picture - God's ideas - we would see what is really important. We need to unify, through the Lord, and only then will we make a difference.

Chris' prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "Favor"

Sometimes a simple smile can be more than something simple. From the right person, a smile can mean everything. It can mean comfort. Happiness. Relief. Safety. Forgiveness. Enjoyment. Hope. Protection. Love. It can mean the world and it can bring about an eternity.


iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "Favor"

Where you gonna be? In eternity?

Death has always intrigued me. It's the one thing you can't get advice on. If I want to know what to expect as a youth minister, I can read books, talk to people who are youth ministers. If I want to know what it'll be like to live alone, I can talk to friends who have done it (two of whom also blog on here) (: really anything that will happen in the near or distant future, there's always people I can talk to, books I can read, and all sorts of things to find out exactly what I'm going to experiencing is like. Not true for death. People don't really come back from the dead to describe the experience and what to expect. I guess that's why so many people are afraid of death. The only thing that tells us for sure what death, and life after death, is like is the Bible. According to that, my death marks the beginning of life in heaven with God. So really, there's nothing really to be afraid of.

Megan's prayer: Matt Maher's "Sophia"

I attended my great great aunt's funeral today. I didn't know her all that well, so I expected the funeral to be somewhat emotionless for me. I was wrong.

While I was sad to have lost a family member, today I felt mostly joyful. The priest at the funeral had an amazing homily, and I left feeling so excited for my great great aunt - knowing she was hanging out with Jesus.

What's even better is to know that we don't have to wait for death to be able to be with Jesus. We can be with him through the Eucharist. We are able to have that heavenly experience - we are able to be with Jesus.

I dwell with you.

Katie's prayer: Matt Maher's "Sophia"

Where all my burdens float like angel feathers

I'm currently experiencing information overload. Even though I got off work like 7 hours ago, my mind is still spinning with everything I learned today, and all the things I'll be expected to do, and all the programs already in effect that I'm now going to take over, and the fact that I can work from home which is so cool! And beginning to come to the realization that my free time just significantly lessened. But I'm still somehow (according to the book I'm reading) supposed to continue to have a social life, and friends outside of ministry to keep me sane.

Today was one of the more exciting days of my life. And while I took everything in with excitement, and still am taking it in with excitement. The fact is there are a lot more things on my plate, more activities, more things to do, more responsibility, and I'm going to need a lot of heavenly help learning how to juggle it all, especially now when everything is so new.

Help me make it through the night.

Chris' prayer: Matt Maher's "Sophia"

I know that I say this about a lot of Maher's music, but I love this song! I love its sneakiness. I always thought it out of place for a Matt Maher song to be a love song about a woman. While you can still tell it is spiritual, it seemed too secular to me compared to the rest of his music.

Then I learned that Sophia is another name for wisdom, and in Christianity, specifically the holy wisdom of God, and is also described as a spirit which emanates from Him- a Holy Spirit. Knowing this completely changed the song for me. Maher is singing a love song about the spirit that makes him want to be holy. He burns for wisdom, for truth; is exposed to wisdom; becomes committed to wisdom.

What a beautiful song!


Lyrics

Jen's prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "Favor"

Where you gonna be??? In eternity???

I know that usually my prayers are for myself, but this time I really want to pray for all those who are truly at a loss because of the death of Michael Jackson. Watching his memorial (not by choice, it was on at work) and hearing so many people say how Michael Jackson is "up there" or "looking down on us" or in heaven...whatever they said, it made me wonder. Many people mentioned God or Jesus' love, but do they really know God's love? Are they true believers that will make it to heaven? I'd love for it to be true, but I'm not so sure. So I'm praying that this death - which has become unbelievably blown out of proportion - will do some good and really make people stretch out to God, wondering where they're going in eternity.

Megan's prayer: Matt Maher's "Here and Now"

Here and now...

...is what I need to start paying more attention to. While the past is important and shouldn't be forgotten - and the future should also be thought about - what I need to work on is living in the moment. Focusing on the wonderful things that God has surrounded me with.

If I were able to live in the moment. If I were able to not worry so much about the future, and not have regrets about the past - I think I would be happier - live a much fuller life - and be able to experience God's love more completely.

Chris' prayer: Matt Maher's "Here and Now"

The first time I heard this song, I fell in love with it. More than anything, I love the energy that the song has. Every workout mix, or pre-game mix, or drive fast mix I make has to have this song on it. It just gets me so amped. It's a tough song to listen to right before I go to bed.

Listening to it tonight, I can't help but imagine that the coming kingdom Maher sings about will feel exactly like this song. The anticipation building and building and building until we are just overcome by an explosion of love and mercy, turning everything we know upside down, and breaking all the rules. I can picture this song being played when all of this happens...and it sounds amazing.


iTunes

Katie's prayer: Matt Maher's "Here and Now"

Here and Now

We are beginning.

I am beginning my job tomorrow. The time for my ministry to start has started, Here and Now! In preparation for this new job, my boss at the diocese practically forced me to check out three books from our resource library. I started reading Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry. It's all about how to start a program right. It's been giving me more ideas, and more things to think about. Things that make people burn out easily, things people do to make their programs excell, things I should be doing on a daily basis.

I got to one chapter that I just really felt like skipping. I decided I'd read the into and then move on to the next chapter. That was until I read this sentence in the intro "If the typical youth worker were to choose one chapter in this book to skip, it would be this on." This chapter was on your own spiritual growth, and how you need to foster that relationship with God. I wanted to skip it not because I don't think it's important, but because I had it set in my mind that I had that all down! I pray the Liturgy of the Hours, I do this blog 5 times a week, I have my prayer walks with God when I can, I make it to adoration when I can. I didn't need to waste my time by reading a chapter on something I've already got down. But as I read the chapter, I realized that there were warning signs for the quality of spiritual life that I was experiencing. There were some things in that chapter that I have struggled with and continue to struggle with. It was then I realized that my prayer life isn't as perfect as I delude myself to believe. I'm not perfect. The sooner I realize that, the better, especially if I want to have any hope of relating to these teens I will be serving.

Jen's prayer: Matt Maher's "Sophia"

I think this song is precious.

She's so, you know, makes me want to be like Jesus // I am / Your
hands / tell me what Your plan for this is.

I want to make a man want to be like Jesus. I want a man who specifically asks God how to handle a relationship with me because that man understands how he is God's hands.

I guess tonight's prayer is for my future husband - whoever he is, wherever he is, I'm praying that he seeks God's plan in our relationship, instead of his own selfish desires.

Megan's prayer: Oliver James' "Long Time Comin"

I am in some of the best relationships right now. My relationship with God, my relationship with Chris, my relationships with my friends and family - they are all filled with love.

It hasn't always been this way. There are many times I struggle in my relationship with God. And my past relationships with boys haven't always been loving. There has been some hardship on the road that has lead me to where I am today.

Now I know
What I've been waiting for.

It has finally become clear what I've been waiting for all my life. I've been blessed with so many amazing relationships filled with love.

I pray tonight for those who aren't feeling loved. For those who aren't experiencing the joy of being in a relationship with God.

Chris' prayer: Oliver James' "Long Time Comin'"

Everybody wants to be loved

Just last night at Life Night we were talking about why people get into bad relationships. The above was one of the answers my small group gave. And it's so right, isn't it? Our need to be loved causes us to do some crazy things, sometimes setting aside what is good for us in pursuit of what we think will be better– to be loved. But like James goes onto sing, "I didn't know I was lost until you found me," often times I think we believe that we want love, but aren't really ready for it. We are so lost searching for love, that when the truest love finds us, it is only then that we realize how lost and how fruitless our search really was.


iTunes | Lyrics

Jen's prayer: Oliver James' "Long Time Comin'"

then you look in my eyes
and i have it all
once again

I like how this song is all about searching for love. I feel like at this age, if you're single, you're constantly searching for someone to fill that gap...to find someone to hold and to love. The thing is, because I have this relationship with Jesus Chris, I can "have it all." Even though I'm single, I have a love far superior than anything I can find on earth. The hard part is remembering that sometimes.

Katie's prayer: Oliver James' "Long Time Comin'"

It's been a long time coming
Down this road

Last year my cousin's sister-in-law gave birth to a baby boy with some heart problems. They began a blog shortly after to track his progress. When I came home from camp, I got on facebook and started a group called "Prayers for Oliver." I invited everyone I knew and made myself the one in charge of updating the news on the group page anytime news on the blog was added. I became obsessed with this adorable little boy who seemed to have no chance at all.

He spent the first few months of his life in the hospital, hooked up to machines to help him breathe, being fed from a tube instead of orally. For a while he was on the top of a heart transplant list. I'd read that blog often (at the beginning, practically every day). I'd be super happy when anything good would happen. I'd be brought to tears when something bad would happen. I've never met him, I met his parents once or twice. But I'm obsessed.

It's been a long time since Oliver was a completely helpless, near death baby. He turned one year on Friday. He really is a miracle. He never got the heart transplant, his heart began to cure itself on it's own. He still has trouble, and is still not quite where he needs to be, but he's alive, and he's getting better everyday. Here's a little bit of the post the day after his birthday:

There were two sheet cakes, one chocolate and one strawberry. Grandpa painstakingly inscribed the white cake with “Celebrating the Joy and Blessing of Having Oliver” and the chocolate cake with “Believe in Miracles"..."It was a memorable celebration and of course we knew that it was so much more than just a regular one year birthday party. There was such a feeling of gratitude and love, I think everyone there was counting their own blessings. Yes miracles really do happen and we have all been given the privilege of witnessing one. Thank you for that, Oliver!"

I really couldn't say it any better. Miracles still do happen.

If you want to follow this amazing boy: http://oliver.planetpayne.com/

Megan's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "His Name is Jesus"

So many choices
So much confusion
No sense of direction
Don't know which way to turn

I feel this way a lot of times. So lost and confused.

But today was the opposite. Today I felt calm, certain of my decisions. I feel like their is direction in my life - and it is leading me to God.

I am so thankful for the wonderful day I had today.

Chris' prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "His Name is Jesus"

Constantly searching
Searching for truth

I can confidently say that the last five years have been my best in terms of spiritual growth. (I hope that I am always able to make that statement, that each five years surpasses the previous five years.) My faith has changed, and deepened, in so many ways over this period, and I am happy to see the upward trend.

I feel like I am constantly searching for truth, and this is a situation where I am very much enjoying the journey, and not worrying too much about the destination. I am loving learning the little things- a little bit more about how Love works, or about how grace works, or about finding peace in Christ. Those little revelations and discoveries make me so happy and so grateful. I believe that that constant searching, the constant learning, at least for me, is a good thing, and not a negative thing, as it is presented in this song. I don't anticipate being done searching while I'm alive. I'll be learning new things until I'm dead. And that, I'm okay with.


iTunes | Lyrics

Jen's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "His Name is Jesus"

So many choices
So much confusion
No sense of direction
Don't know which way to turn

I get the sense this song is more for unbelievers. You know, like it begins by talking about all the people in a world full of darkness constantly searching for truth. But the thing is, when I read those lyrics that are above, I know that even Christians experience that. I know I am right now. Along with several other strong believers. We know Jesus and we know He gave His life for us. We know He has set a plan for our lives. And that can be the most frustrating...knowing that God has a plan, but not being able to see it. And I'm just praying that the more I cry out to Jesus, the clearer the plan will get.

Katie's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "His Name is Jesus"

So many choices
So much confusion
No sense of direction
Don't know which way to turn

That verse basically explains my life from last August until last night. I went from not knowing what I wanted to do with my life to knowing I wanted to become a youth minister to not knowing where I should fulfill that to questioning if I'd actually be able to fulfill that to FINALLY knowing. Last night I found out I am going to be the new youth minister at Holy Trinity Catholic Church in Weston, MO and it's soooooooooooooooo exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only way I was able to get from not knowing anything to becoming hired was with the help of Jesus. It's strange, I think I knew all along that out of the places I applied, Holy Trinity was where I was going to end up. It was the only one I bothered actually attending church one time. Or even saw outside of a picture or their website. But my intuitive knowing was nothing compared to my worries and stress. I forgot that God was in charge and He wouldn't let me fail. The second I let those worries and fears go and completely forget about the job is when I got the phone call offering it to me.

If you listen you can hear Him call your name

I just need to continue to listen to that voice and not let my worries and stress get in the way. God's timing is perfect and I need to remind myself of that.

Dear God,
Thank you for not giving up on me, even when I think I had. Thank you for the awesome opportunity of this job. Help me to do the best I can. Help me to reach the teens I will be working with. Help me to look for and listen to those signs you send me.
Love,
Katie

Megan's prayer: Chris Tomlin's "We Fall Down"

My Jesus, I love you
I know thou are mine
To thee all the follies of sin I resent
My gracious redeemer
My savior, art thou
If ever I'll love you
My Jesus, tis now

I loved this last part of the song. It sounds like a lullaby. It is so wonderfully peaceful.

The line that most stuck out what "If ever I'll love you my Jesus, tis now." This is definitely true right now. I hope that it remains true forever.

Chris' prayer: Chris Tomlin's "We Fall Down"

For the last few weeks, I've had a really hard time doing spontaneous prayer. When I go to pray, I just can't seem to string the words together. It's like a case of writer's block...for prayer. In this spot in my life, feeling as I do, I am very appreciative of a song like tonight's. It is such a simple song, with very few words and a simple, understated melody, that, even when I'm having trouble praying, is easy to sing along with, easy to pray.

It's funny that I didn't even mean to have this song be a part of the journal. We've already prayed this song before (Kutless' version), but because I had this one incorrectly labeled, it made it into the rotation. And it is just what I need. Maybe God knows better than I do just what music I need to be listening to.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Jen's prayer: Chris Tomlin's "We Fall Down"

My first thought when I saw I had to blog about this song was: that's such a good worship song, but what can I actually write about? The song speaks for itself, right? We cry holy, holy, holy. Singing those lyrics out are amazing. But after that, what is there to say? What can God teach through such a simple song?

Then I decided there was more to it than the chorus. I needed to go back and re-read the lyrics at the beginning.

We fall down, we lay our crowns
At the feet of Jesus

Hmmm. There's something there. What makes this a good worship, may indeed be the fact that first we acknowledge to God that we need to fall down and remove our crowns. Once we do this, we can truly worship and proclaim God holy.

Every morning this week I've been tuning into a Christian radio station to listen to this program called Back to the Bible. Today the discussion of pride was brought up and how that can hinder so much the life God has planned for us. I think the crown that we're removing in this song, for me at least, deals a lot with the crown of pride. I can get pretty puffed up on myself sometimes and it's good for me to realize I need to just step aside, fall down at Jesus' feet and remove my pride, remove myself and my desires and realize it's all about Him. He's holy. He's the true King who deserves a crown. Not me.

Katie's prayer: Chris Tomlin's "We Fall Down"

My prayer today actually isn't going to be on the song itself, but instead the last time I heard the song. It was actually three weeks ago today. I was sitting in mass helping with Totus Tuus at St. Gabe's. It's kinda like Vacation Bible School only cooler cause it's Catholic to the core, and they do stuff for high schoolers too. So it's way cool. But anyways, onto the story. I was sitting in mass and this was our communion song. Near the end, the musicains had to go up and recieve Jesus, but the song continued with 120+ 1st-5th graders singing "we cry holy, holy, holy" over and over again.

The kids got mass points everyday for how loudly they sang, spoke, if they kept mass hands and avoided lazy butt. And if they got 10 mass points by the end of the week, they would get to "sundae" one of the teachers. Basically put sundae topings all over them. So myabe their motivation for singing loudly was a tad different than, lets say, my motivation for singing loudly. Regardless of their reasoning, the singing was absolutely beautiful. Half of them were no where near being in key, some were singing slower than others, some louder, and it was a complete mess. But in that complete mess was complete beauty. Those kids were singing from their hearts. They didn't care that they were out of tune, they didn't care that they were off beat, they didn't care what the person next to them was thinking or doing, all they cared about at that moment was singing at the top of their lungs. We cry HOLY HOLY HOLY!

You know, kids have a lot to learn from adults. But I would also argue we have a lot to learn from them.

We cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy is the Lamb

Megan's prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "Let it Ride"

I've just returned from Encounter. Although it was wonderful to be there, in God's presence, there was nothing particular about my experience tonight that moved me. Similarly, as I listened to this song, and followed along with the lyrics found on Cheer Up Charlie's website, I wasn't really moved by anything. It's a nice song, but it wasn't at all what my heart was needing tonight.

What I most needed tonight was to feel God's love. I longed to feel that at Encounter. I longed to experience it while listening to tonight's song. All I wanted to know what that God was there, looking out for me, loving me.
As I went to exit from the lyrics web page, settling on the fact that I had found nothing spectacular in the lyrics to pray about, a line at the bottom of the web page caught my eye.


Honestly, I'm not sure why it is there. It isn't a lyric to a song or anything. Regardless, it was there. And it was there the entire time that I was reading the lyrics to the song. It was there the entire time I was trying to figure out what to pray about tonight. This little reminder that I was loved was just waiting there for me to finally slow down and read it.

I think this is exactly how my life is. God's love is constantly surrounding me, but I have such a hard time seeing it. It's always there, waiting for me, but I never take the time to slow down and really see it.

Luckily, God knows exactly what I need. He knows that I need these constant reminders that I am surrounded by his love. He isn't giving up on me. He isn't frustrated that I forget - he just keeps telling me, in as many ways as he can think of, just how much he loves me.

Maybe this time I will be able to pay better attention.