Erinnicole's Prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Set Me Free"

You are the author and the finisher of the faith in me

The finisher, I understand. How could I ever dream to finish my faith without God? My earthly faith will never be finished; I will always learn how to be stronger because of His grace. But the "author" of my faith. I suppose it makes enough sense because God helps me and guides me, writes my story, so to speak. I can clearly see where God plays a hand in my faith. All the time! When I believe and trust in Him, wonderful things happen! He is completely the author of my faith....when it's good.

But what about the struggles? Does He write those too? Does He write the moments when I can't find Him, or when I feel so alone? When I first read that, I immediately disagreed. There is no way God would write Himself out of my life for certain parts. For the times when I can't seem to keep a handle on my faith. But maybe, there is logic to it. Perhaps, God writes in the struggles to teach me. Or maybe, so that when He writes the good things, I am more aware of them and can praise Him to the fullest of my ability. I don't know the reason, but I am thankful for the chance to be able to recognize a real difference from times in my life when I am hurting and times when I can see God, so I pray in thanksgiving that God is the one who gives me even those moments. The moments that bring my closer to God.

Chris' prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Set Me Free"

The fruitful labor of my sin

I love Fuji apples. They are, far and away, my favorite apple, and most likely my favorite fruit. I love the texture, the crunchiness, the gradient of color from a very light green to pink, the perfect small-but-not-too-small size, and most of all, how sweet they are. I also love how they can be found at a restaurant I frequent- St. Louis Bread Co. They are the perfect side to the sandwiches of which I'm fond.

Once in awhile, though, Bread Co. just doesn't have good Fuji apples. They might be mushy, or a bit too sour for my taste. Something is just not right about them. They are just not good.

Today, God reminds me that my sin can be as fruitful as my works. If I'm not careful about the decisions I make, or how much attention I pay them, or if the reason I'm making those decisions is not pure, the results of my actions won't always be positive. I can end up producing bad apples. Each bad apple has a consequence. Each bad apple inhibits the growth of love and encourages death and decay. I must be careful that the fruitful labor of my sin does not bring me to my own death and destruction.


iTunes | Lyrics

Marie's Prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Set Me Free"

You gave your life for me that day
So freedom I could know

It's awe-inspiring to think that someone would sacrifice so much for me. I still grapple with the idea of not being worth it. I don't know why I always come back to that one thing. I find it hard to think that anyone would do something that big for me. But God is always there, giving Himself for me. The other part of this is freedom. We hear about our freedom all the time, but we usually find ourselves trapped. This is coincidentally because of the choices we make. I find myself choosing the wrong thing in my attempts at freedom and am trapped by the choice. I am trying this new thing now, inspired by my friend, to always try to do the right thing no matter what. It's going to be hard for me, not going to lie, but right now I'm just handling it day by day.

Megan's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Set Me Free"

Most of the time when I sing along with songs it is with what I assume are the lyrics. Normally I am pretty close, but occasionally people will call me out on it. But even that embarrassment doesn’t inspire me to actually look up lyrics or stop singing my own version – I just hope that people stop listening so intently to the words I am saying.

Today’s song, and the assumed lyrics I sang, made an impact on my life over the summer. Shortly after having this song suggested by a friend, I found myself listening to it more and more often.

The “lyrics” that stuck with me were

Set me free
From this LIE that I’ve been living (Actual: From this LIFE that I've been living)

At the time, I did feel like I was living a lie in my life. I was still enrolled at the University of Dayton, but I was not truly happy there. I had done everything possible to convince my family and friends that I enjoyed it, but was still unable to convince myself. My assumed lyrics were a constant prayer – I wanted God’s help in finding a way to set me free from the unhappiness, from the lies I had been trying to pass as reality.

I finally realized it was okay to admit that I wasn’t happy at UD, and admitting that to myself and to my family was a huge relief. I was able to transfer back home and finally attend a college where I can truly say I am happy.

I’m reminded today that it’s okay to show others your true feelings, your vulnerability. It’s only in finally admitting them that we can change.

Catie's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Set Me Free"

Set me free
From the chains that bound me to my sin

When I hear this line about chains I think of Jacob Marley from A Christmas Carol. In the movie, Jacob is forced to wander the earth after he dies wearing the chains that he had linked together with all the bad things he had done in his life. Sometimes I feel weighed down in my sin like that, like my sin is holding me back from being better, doing better, loving better.

I know I can trust in You to come and set me free

This is the part I know, but I don't always remember. I forget that God's love is bigger than my sin, that he has already set me free and that sin has already been conquered. We can all be set free from our sin, all we have to do is ask for forgiveness and trust that God will take the chains away.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Pillar's "Frontline"

It's not like I'm walking alone
Into the valley of shadow of death

Even being in a Catholic school, I often feel so alone in my faith. I love being places like life teen and retreats, especially huge ones like Stuebenville Conference because I know I'm not alone. I have a bunch of people who truly just get it. When I am there, I become selfish, though. I don't want to leave because I love belonging and being understood. But I know that the whole point of being a tool of God's hand is to let Him use me for people that don't know Him. But it so much easier to help people who already get it - to just remind them! I, like pretty much everyone, just don't deal with rejection well and rarely do I find people that fully embrace Jesus on the first try. More often, people don't give faith a try at all. But this kind of thing, this song, reminds me that I am not doing this alone. There are a lot of Christians out there and they understand and the real idea is for all of us to come together and save the world as one. I don't know where I got this idea that it is me versus the world, but I never honestly considered until just this moment that this idea I have is so the opposite of what God meant when He gave me fellow believers. He wasn't really saying, "take notes"...more-or-less, He was saying, "ALL of you, help Me out!" I feel like I truly am understanding something for the first time.

you forgot what this is for

I guess I couldn't really forget if I never really understood...but my prayer is that I remember. This is for Him.

Marie's Prayer: Pillar's "Frontline"

'cause it's only begun

I love this line because, as a writer, I begin things all the time. I'm constantly finding new ways to start things. But it's really hard for me to finish them. I must've started at least twenty stories and have only finished one. That's something I need to work on. I need to finish things I start and not give up on them. As you may have noticed I'm not the best at posting every day and this really struck me. I am going to try really super hard from now on to keep up and finish what I start. Because not everything is easy at first, but it's only the beginning.

Chris' prayer: Pillar's "Frontline"

When it's over, we can say, "Well done"
But not yet, 'cause it's only begun

I must confess. I do not understand the question "Are you saved?" I have been asked numerous times in my life if I'm saved, and I really don't know how to answer that question. I know what the asker wants to hear, and I know what he or she is actually asking me, but I still don't know how to answer the question.

For me, salvation seems to be something more of a work in progress. I can accept Jesus Christ into my life one day, only to deny Him the next. And I have. The question "Are you saved?" seems to imply to me the end of the journey. Rob Beckley sings here that it is anything but. Instead, it is the beginning of the spiritual journey, one that will include many battles, many successes, and many failures. Hopefully, one day, I'll be able to hear Christ tell me, "Well done."


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Catie's prayer: Pillar's "Frontline"

We've got to lead the way!
We've got to lead the way!

Leading. I think leading is one of those things people either love doing or hate doing. When it comes to faith it can be very difficult to be a leader just because it's hard when everyone is looking to you to see where to go, what they need to be doing, etc. The thing is, if we aren't the ones to step up to lead the way, who is? We can't expect that someone else will just lead so we can just sit back and not do anything. If we want change, we have to be the ones to change it. No one is going to do it for us. We have to be willing to step up, even when we are on the frontlines, even if we're scared. With God on our side we don't have to be afraid to be on the frontlines because he is always with us. What more could we ask for from our God?

Megan's prayer: Pillar's "Frontline"

In yesterday’s gospel, we saw Jesus going out and gathering some of his apostles. He drew them away from their boats, away from their families, to come and follow him. Jesus didn’t just want people to passively sit there and watch him… he wanted people to get up, to follow him, to spread the Good News. He wanted people to actively live for him, not just be bystanders.

Today’s song seems to convey a similar feeling to me.

We live our lives on the frontlines

Just as Jesus wanted active followers in his time, God is calling us to do the same now. We cannot just sit around, hoping others find Christ, we need to be out there sharing his love and leading others to him.

At last night’s lifenight, we only had a dozen teens show up, which is far from being considered a “great” turnout. This is not the first time we have seen numbers low, and in fact we have talked about ways to bring more teens in, but so far it has all seemed to be talk. Maybe something like today’s song will serve as a much needed reminder: we have to live our lives on the frontlines… we have to actively go out and find teens to come share in the lifenights, and not just hope that by some miracle they start showing up more often.

Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Redemption"

I've very stubborn. I like being right, I like to do things my way. I have a hard time putting aside my pride and letting someone else lead, letting someone else be right. I tend to break away from that, and still choose to go my way. Not the most attractive of qualities, but I'm just hard headed.

We're way gone, be gone, looking for our own way

Sometimes I get lucky, and taking my own way leads me to new adventures, leads me closer to God or to others. Sometimes my own way ends up being the perfect choice for me.

And sometimes it ends up being a horrible and lonely choice. Others don't follow because they don't understand my reason for choosing that path. They think I'm wrong and have chosen instead the seemingly "right" way. Instead of choosing a path that would lead me closer to others and to God, I have chosen to go in the wrong direction.

Couldn't find a common ending

I hate that second scenario. I pray that someday, and someday soon, I can swallow my pride. I pray that instead of choosing the way that seems right to me, I can instead focus on what path is right for others. The path that will lead me closer to my friends, to my family, to my God.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Jars of Clay's "Redemption"

It was hidden in the landscape
Of loss and love and fire and rain

The part of these words that truly spoke to me was more a "revisit" of something that already spoke to me. I heard a friend of mine giving a talk one time to a group of Confirmandi and she said, "People always say they 'Found Jesus', but I have news for you guys...Jesus isn't hiding. He isn't some hidden treasure; He is always there." That was really powerful because it told me that I don't have to find Him, I just have to see Him, to accept Him.
The other part was that I would miss something that was hidden. I am very aware of details around me but sometimes I miss the most obvious things and I often feel like a lot of things are tricks. I guess thats a form of paranoia, but I'm not certain. I never feel that something can be easy and correct at the same time. If something comes easily, I must not be doing it right. So I think I would most often avoid the road that looks easy to get to Jesus. The one that says, "Just come, Erinnicole, it's this way." My prayer is to see the hidden.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Redemption"

Like any story retold
Couldn't find a common ending
We're way gone, be gone, looking for our own way

These lines seem to mirror, for me, the divisions we have among different denominations of Christianity. Across cyberspace you will find all kinds of mud slung at and about Catholicism, taking my denomination for instance. This has ceased to surprise me. What will never cease to surprise me is who is sometimes doing the mudslinging- other Christians.

It would seem to me that Christianity in general has enough mud slung at it. We have enough enemies. Why do we feel the need to fight with each other, calling each other names and damning each other to hell?

Why do we spend all of our time looking for our own way instead of seeking out redemption?


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "Get Down"

Being sick is not fun. Especially when it’s throwing up sick. Or when you have such an intense pain in your stomach that it hurts to both stand up and lay down. Even the joy of missing school to stay at home sick has been lost because now it is just a hassle to try to make up everything that is missed. Being sick is just not fun.

But when you are surrounded by people who care, suddenly being sick isn’t quite as bad. Whether it’s someone who sits with you all day, or brings you soup or Sprite, or even just an extra phone call or text message, it is nice to feel that extra love. Almost makes being sick enjoyable.

God is always there for us. He is there during our happy times and during our “alright” times. Most importantly he is there for us when we most need him. When we need his strength, his comfort.

In your weakness, he is stronger.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "Get Down"

I get down and he lifts me up

There are so many things connected with getting up. Rising above, overcoming (virtually the same thing), a literal falling and getting back up, persevering, etc. I am extremely uncoordinated, so I am really used to the idea of falling and getting back up. More-or-less, I am like toodlers, in the way that when they fall, they either look around in a confused manner or just get up and keep going like nothing happened. I never stay down for long simply because I have things to do. In the same way, when I get down emotionally, I know that I have more things to live for than whatever is upsetting me. God has given me the grace and the helping hand to get back up and rise again. And we all know that Jesus is quite an expert on rising!

Marie's Prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "Get Down"

You cant live your life to please yourself

Living life to please myself is something I struggle with. I don't go down the path of others and try to please others by acting like someone I'm not, but in the same way I act to make me, and only me happy. I need to think more of how things I say and do can affect other people. I need to realize that what I do needs to be to please God and not myself because it is only important what God wants of me.

Chris' prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "Get Down"

A couple of days ago, in honor of our first six months together, or perhaps just because she is wacky, my girlfriend baked me a cake. Not just any cake, mind you (that wouldn't be too wacky), but a yin yang cake. Half of the cake was white cake with white icing, the other half of the cake was chocolate cake with chocolate icing. The second layer of the cake was reversed exactly, so that each piece contained the same amount of white cake, white icing, chocolate cake, and chocolate icing. She even took the time out to cut the circle in the middle of each half of the yin yang and reverse them, so as to be completely accurate.

This song reminds me of that dessert.

Part of the song is a menagerie of paradoxes. To win, you've got to come in last place. To live your life, you've got to lose it. The other part of the song is a cluster of carefully balanced lines. In your weakness, He is stronger. In your darkness, He shines through. I get down; He lifts me up. All of it is great advice for a successful relationship with Jesus, and bearing an amazing resemblance to the cake sitting on my counter: perfectly balanced, with both parts working together, complimenting each other, and delicious!


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Chris' prayer: Plus One's "Soul Tattoo"

I've thought, on and off for the past few years, about getting a tattoo. I've looked up tattoos on the internet, and thought about what I would like to ink myself with. Once or twice, I've even mocked something up, either on the computer or on a sheet of paper, before throwing it away unfinished. I can't always decide what I want to be emblazoned on my body permanently, or when I'm fairly confident about that, I can't figure out how I want to represent that thing or idea in a way that is beautiful enough to feel comfortable with its permanence.

Despite, or perhaps because of, that indecision, I love today's song. I love that, long before I was born, my God tattooed me. I love that His love is so true, so real, so permanent, so unchanging, so inescapable, so unconditional, that He chose to ink my very being with signs of that love. He has written on heart proof of that love so that, no matter what I may go through on this earth, I know of that love. It is a very real part of me, just as anyone who has been tattooed with earthly ink will tell you their tattoos are a part of who they are.

Etched on my soul
Your love is so true

iTunes | Lyrics

Marie's Prayer: Plus One's "Soul Tattoo"

'Cause you're the answer
To the questions

There are too many questions! Sometimes I get wrapped up in all the what-ifs and I find that I'm not listening for the answers. I have to realize that praying, like talking, is a two-sided thing. I can't ask a question and expect immediate gratification. If I do this I find myself walking circuital and not straight for an answer. I need to leave time for God to do what is right for me and not just let myself keep asking and asking like a child asking the same question so fervently that the parent has no time to answer because at that second another question is being asked.

Megan's prayer: Plus One's "Soul Tattoo"

It took awhile for me to actually believe this, but I finally know in my heart that God loves us no matter what. Today’s song served as a reminded to me:

I'd be some kind of fool
To think I could lose your love

It is so wonderful to have this type of constant in my life. No matter what I do – God is there. Even if I make a horrible mistake, God is still there with me, loving me. Even when I believe that I am unlovable, God shows me just how wrong I am. His love is something I can’t run away from, even if I wanted to.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Plus One's "Soul Tattoo"

Etched on my soul
Your love is so true
Stamped forever
Here in my soul

the ideas of having God as a tattoo on my soul is really powerful. I mean, the permanence of tattoos and the meaning behind them is something fantastic. Tattoos are so out of the realm of the "norm" to relate God to. I just love knowing that God will always be with me; and the things He has done for me will always be. Even when we go through hard times and I forget that it is there, it still is. And a grand majority of people don't just get a tattoo on a whim, and even when they do, it almost always has a meaning. Tattoos are a permanent dedication to something and a public statement telling the world "this means something to me".

my dad is a really great guy and very original. and he loves playing jokes on people; weird jokes. he went to a video game convention and came home with a bandage on his arm and said "i got a tattoo". my dad is known to go through really elaborate steps to make us believe a prank, so I didn't believe him and for days, my sister and I would check his arm to see if it was still there. Turns out - it's real. I can relate it to my relationship with God because there are still times when I am waiting for my dad's tattoo to wash off, times when I am not sure how real or strong it is - like times when I can't tell how real or strong my relationship with God is. And sometimes, I even forget that it is there because I am so used to it. But then, there is that really cool excitement when my dad shows it to a friend who hasn't seen it yet (it's relatively new) or someone notices it. My prayer is for me to be able to show off my relationship with God with the same enthusiasm that my father shows off his tattoo.
[for those of you wondering, it is a pinball]

Megan's prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "We Cry Out"

…to be whole again…

I’m not sure where this idea originally came from, but I remember learning that there is a hole in our hearts that only God can fill. I simply love this idea. It is one area in our lives in which we are all on a level playing field. Money won’t buy us something to fill this hole. Our looks and our achievements aren’t the solution to filling the hole. The answer is God. He is waiting for us, waiting to fill that hole in our hearts. He wants to help us to be whole again.

Lord, help me to be whole again.

Marie's Prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "We Cry Out"

We cry out for your grace and love again
We cry out

When I am praying at night before I go to sleep, I cry out. Not just for me and the things I feel are unjust in my life, but for everyone I know who are worse off than I. As some of you may know I am not very graceful...but I ask God every night for His grace so I can go one more day. I cry out for Gods love because there's this weird feeling in me that I don't have it. I am ashamed to admit that I doubt even though I know I shouldn't. I feel like I need to fit in somewhere and I sometimes feel like I don't belong anywhere. Like I'm putting on an act in front of everyone, even myself, telling people I'm fine or even when I tell them I'm not fine I feel like I'm making a big show of my suffering. I hate feeling like I'm too focused on me and I don't say anything. I let myself fall back into that place of complacency. That is when I cry out to God like I do now. To help me, no matter what.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "We Cry Out"

I was trying to truly listen to this song with an open heart and really focus on the words today. Each day, I try to do this, but today it seemed especially important. The message that I found was nothing earth-shattering - quite the contrary. As I logged on to get the song 'o the day, I was thinking to myself, I have a tendency of relating my faith life to how God works in my life through my struggles. Which I have noticed many people tend to do - which is great because it is only praising the triumphs of our Lord, of course!! But I have so many blessings that were merely bestowed upon me because God loves me, not as a result of something hard I needed to overcome.

from dark to light

I think I too often focus on the dark and how to escape it...and even though I typically do that through God, I should pray for the sight to see the light! Not with my typical viewpoint of light to dark...it isn't that God gives me good things, and then sends a hardship. It is that He gives me both but when the struggles get to be too much, He pulls me back into the light to remind me it is there - because I so often forget. My prayer is one that I am reiterating from a retreat a few weeks ago, that God may introduce me to the darkness, so I learn how to rejoice in the light! He has given so much and there is so much for me to return. I cry out of this darkness and INTO the Light.

Chris' prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "We Cry Out"

There are many times in my life where I find myself complacent. I don't like how something is going or how something ended up, but I'm too apathetic to bother changing it. Instead, I tell myself that I'll get to it later, or that it will change itself eventually. I'm actually pretty good at convincing myself that it will.

The problem is, of course, it rarely does. Things change only when they are forced to change, myself included. I can only stop this cycle of complacency and apathy, whether it be at work, in my social circle, or in my prayer life, when I am forced to change.

Fortunately, today God reminds me that I am always able to find a way to change in Him. He is there waiting for me, urging me, and, at times, forcing me to cry out to Him. He is waiting to help me grow, to become a more loving and gracious person. I just feel like I need that push in my life right now.

There’s no changing tide
That will shake our lives
So in Him we’ll find a way

iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Chris Tomlin's "King of Glory"

Love is a great thing. Really, I love it. And I am fortunate to be surrounded by it constantly. I feel the love that others have for me, and I know of the love I have for others. I feel God’s love pouring down on me. I am even aware of the love that I, and others, have for inanimate objects. It’s true, I "love" pizza.

And yet, with all of this love surrounding me, sometimes I think I forget to share it. I’m just so happy with the love that I am feeling, I forget to show others how much I love them, how much God loves them. It’s not like the love is going to run out, it will only keep growing; yet sometimes I just want to be selfish and keep it to myself.

Today’s song suggests a different approach:

Tell everyone
How great the love

Obviously, this makes the most sense. I should be shouting out on the streets how much I am loved, and sharing with others how much God loves them. It is something to rejoice in, to share with everyone.

Chris' prayer: Chris Tomlin's "King of Glory"

Sometimes when I'm asked to pray in front of others, I get nervous. When asked for volunteers to lead spontaneous prayer, I often shy away. I can do great with a piece of paper, a pen, and some time, but I often feel like the prayers that I make up on the spot aren't "good enough." Or, at least they aren't to the quality that I've heard of some of my friends, family, and mentors. My prayer-leading abilities pale in comparison to theirs, or so I sometimes think.

God is here today to tell me, through this song, that that is simply not true. A magnificent prayer sung by Tomlin, this song contains two three-syllable words. Every word in this song is one that most are able to read before second grade. This song, this prayer, contains no magical or difficult words, no overly scholarly poetic phrases...just words. The power in those words lies with the One we are singing about. He is what makes these words, and everything He touches, strong and mighty.

My words, no matter how small or elementary, are plenty good enough.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Erinnicole's Prayer: Chris Tomlin's "King of Glory"

The Lord, strong and mighty

The word "mighty" is one that I have heard at least once a week since I was born. It is really abundant in the Bible and in any description of the Lord. But it never meant anything to me, that is to say I have never stopped to consider what the word "mighty" truly means. How much power it actually holds - or that fact that it is almost never used to describe any human thing, because it holds so much weight that we cannot comprehend. a few things pop into mind, some are exaggerations from the media and some are things that could be "mighty" in an Earthly way. But none are MIGHTY in the truest sense of the word.

Last weekend, there was a REAP retreat for members of the REAP team (as opposed to us giving one). It was presented by Oddwalk Ministries (I recommend checking them out, they are very talented) and it was basically just a day of fun and light prayer. A lot of praising God for all that He has blessed us with. But at the end, they closed with what was to be the Gospel the next day, which was Jesus being baptized by John. They projected the words up onto the screen and instructed us to hold onto a word. "ONLY one word, not a phrase or sentence....just one word that speaks to you."
When we began the prayer, nothing jumped out at me, but i stared a the screen and prayed for an open heart. The word 'Mighty' sprung out from the first few lines of the passage and stuck with me. Toward the end, the word 'voice' became evident too. I could very easily tell that I had chosen the word 'voice' and God had chosen for me the word 'mighty'. So that is the one I stuck with. But I didn't know why. Next instruction was to illustrate it, so I pictured a broken heart (my heart) so broken that only a hand as mighty as God's could fix it, and He did.
Here again, in this song, I am reminded that many people can be strong, many people can be incredible, or amazing, but solely God is 100% Mighty, and only He can take on all of the triumphs and trials of the world - He is Mighty to save.

Megan's prayer: MercyMe "Word of God Speak"

With the freezing temperatures outside, one of my favorite things to do is snuggle with a blanket and just relax. I don’t need the TV or movies or a book to keep me occupied; I just enjoy the stillness, and the chance to just “be.”

Tonight I am giving myself that opportunity. I am going to bed relatively early for a Friday night, I’m going to wrap up in some warm blankets, and just be in God presence. It is during these times that I feel the most loved, and it is my chance to catch up with God, and just talk to him about my life. This song was the perfect way to end a wonderful day, and start, what I hope to be, an amazing night.

To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness

Chris' prayer: MercyMe's "Word of God Speak"

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise

Ah, how I wish that this blog would have started with this song! For these, these are the lyrics which represent what this entire project is for me: the opportunity to find myself in the presence of God, and hopefully to do so in a way that extends beyond the scope of this project, to find myself in His presence whether I'm listening to the music He gives me, the noise of the world, or the sound of my own voice. I pray that the Word of God may speak to me at all times.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Marie's Prayer: MercyMe's "Word of God Speak"

I'm finding myself in the midst of You

I want to be in the midst of God, see his love all around me. I want to look at what He's done and know that He's there and always was and will be.

Beyond the music, beyond the noise

I want to get past all the noise of life around me. It's not even limited to noise, but any distractions. I am beyond the distractions of worry and stress and just, everything. No longer letting anything in or out, but just being there. I find it easier to see God in the world in the quiet that comes with letting go of every distraction.

All that I need is to be with You

With letting go I see that all I need is You, God. I don't need that anger or worry that I've been holding onto. I just need to be alone with God and give my all to Him.

And in the quiet hear Your voice

Erinnicole's Prayer: MercyMe's "Word of God Speak"

I'm finding myself at a loss for words

i hear that. so often, i sit down to pray and i have no clue what to say. i can relate....

And the funny thing is it's okay

that...i cant relate to. what? it's okay that i don't know that to say?
that was my honest thought process when i read the lyrics to this song. i am so familiar with not being able to find words in prayer, which annoys me to no end because i am a writer. that means, words are my gift. they are my talent. the strongest and sometimes only way i can express myself is through poetry. so when i sit down to talk to God and can't even use the gift He gave me, how am i supposed to feel? i feel bad. i feel like i have let Him down, in the fact that i can talk to everyone but Him.
but the fact that "it's okay"...just like yesterday's song...the more i listen to it, the more it makes sense. and it makes sense because i am listening and not talking. perhaps i should apply that to my prayer life. that i don't need to ask God what to do, because if i would spend more time listening and less time attempting to talk...i would understand and i would actually hear him. i pray, Lord, that i can listen better and more often.

the last thing i need is to be heard.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Kutless' "Passion"

it's comforting to me

my first thought when i read that, and then heard it, was what? how could someone suffering that much for me be comforting?! nothing about that is comforting. it is shameful that He would go through all of that agony; i've done absolutely nothing to deserve it. but, after the last few times i have listened...while the image still shames me...there is oddly some level of comfort in the love that is truly depicted there. all of my troubles can seem to drift sort of away because i know that i am never suffering alone. not after that. not after someone would willingly lay their life down for me. in life, i surround myself with friends who are protectors, people that will be there for me and to stand up with and for me when i need it. and i am realizing that i do that for the sense of comfort it gives me. and Jesus as a protector is the biggest comfort and peace i could ask for.

it's comforting to me

Marie's Prayer: Kutless' "Passion"

I know I've had trouble with identifying God in my life lately, but I realize now that how can I doubt? How can I question all of my good memories? I know that God has to be there and that He's working and helping me along this road of life. Even with failed relationships I know that He's the only one I really need, no matter what.

And in my heart I know that you're the only one
Who could of came and died, a sacrifice

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "Passion"

Nail pierced hands they run with blood
A splitting brow forced by the thorns
His face is writhing with the pain

I remember when I first saw The Passion of the Christ, the impression that stayed with me was just how much Jesus suffered. I'd read and heard the story in the Bible a hundred times, but the movie put me in that place, allowing me to witness, sort of first hand, the pain that Jesus endured. Suddenly, it was something I'd never seen or heard before. I winced each time the whip dug into His skin, tearing it to pieces. I cowered when they drove the crown of thorns into His head. I gasped when they nailed Him to the cross. I was awestruck. It is and was anything but comforting to me.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Kutless' "Passion"

Jesus…
… created a paradox in me

Within the past few months, I have realized that my faith, more specifically my view of my personal faith life, is somewhat of a paradox, somewhat contradictory.

I am happy that I am unhappy with my faith life.

On the most recent retreat I attended, I shared this sentiment with the teens in my small group. Instantly after I shared it, I felt I should take it back. I thought I was supposed to be playing the part of the leader; the one who has their faith figured out and was there to help the teens with their struggles, but I realized that sharing something so personal with the teens only helped to bring me closer to them.

I can’t imagine a time in which I was happy with my faith. I constantly look at my prayer life and realize I could be doing more. I want to be in a much deeper pursuit of Jesus. I feel that if I ever come to a point where I am happy with my faith, that it would then just be put to the side, checked off the list of things to accomplish. No sense in trying to fix something that isn’t broken. But I don’t want that to happen to my faith, I don’t ever want to push it aside. I want it constantly to be a top priority in my life, forever at the top of my “to-do” list. This dissatisfaction in my faith life will only lead me closer to where I want to be.

Marie's Prayer: Falling Up's "Broken Heart"

Words that paint the legacy of life
A different picture will unfold

Words are very interesting. I find myself at ease writing and/or typing them way more easily than I can say them. When I read or write something I tend to visualize things in my mind but draw blanks when someone tries to describe something using words. I am sure you all are tired of hearing about this, but with all that's been going on with my past a different picture is shown to me than the happy one I used to remember. Now things make awful sense and I realize how stupid I was for thinking they could have been any different. Most of the story is now unfolded before me and I just have to find a way to make sense of it and hopefully move beyond it. So each night I find myself asking God for a way to show me how to get beyond this and even my communication with Brad is helping me to see how his family dealt with this. He has moved past it even though it was visibly tougher on him than anyone else. So I ask God to help me move past it too.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Falling Up's "Broken Heart"

this song just made my day. i love every thing about it; the music is amazing and the words make so much sense. im truly connecting. i mean, my heart has been more or less broken since november...different reasons but basically i haven't been up to my normal happiness level. it not like life has been terrible, just disappointment is kind of a trend.
BUT this weekend, i went to a bunch of different church things and like...spiritually renewed myself and gave my struggles to Jesus and just tried to let things go. and it worked. suddenly, my whole focus on everything is different. i can see that things haven't really changed too much but suddenly i have this whole new perspective and can see all of the blessings and feel God's Presence in my life. it is awesome, i feel so joyous!

There's a Healer waiting to begin

i think so often, i keep waiting for God to step in and fix things. but then i continue living my life the way i choose to live it and not listening to anything He says. He is always waiting to begin, to make a change in my life. i don't even have to invite Him; He is already here. He is just patiently waiting for me to love and want Him there. my prayer is to remember that more often and just let God work.

Chris' prayer: Falling Up's "Broken Heart"

A healing finds its way through …
So heal my heart …
Father, Healer …
There's a healing calling from the wind …
There's a healer waiting to begin …
Father, Healer …
You can heal …
Father, Healer …

In true "broken" fashion, I'm finding it hard to put words together today.

It is clear, though, that God as Healer and His healing touch is the message today. He is calling me to reconcile my brokenness, my broken heart, my broken love, with His perfect love, His perfect heart, His perfection. To replace my life with His. How can I live for him today, and, in the process, heal the brokenness in my life?


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Falling Up's "Broken Heart"

As much as I enjoy living on my own, sometimes it gets lonely. Even if I have had human interaction throughout the whole day, I might still feel alone when I get back to my apartment. Even though I know that there are many people out there who care about me, when they aren’t present, sometimes it’s hard to remember or realize just how much I am loved.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact I’m a visual learner, but I am much more convinced of someone’s feelings if they are there with me, sitting with me, or holding me in their arms, rather than trying to believe how much they care about me without having them present. Those times, being in someone’s company, are the times I feel most loved.

Today’s song echoed some of my feelings.

Stay here, closer, let me hear your voice of love.

Megan's prayer: Jeremy Camp's "Take My Life"

During my Senior year in high school, I was one of the co-founders of a new class – Prayer Class. A few of my friends and I made a deal with one of the teachers that if we got enough students to sign up for the class, that he would teach the class. Within a few days, we had a full class.

In the first class, we talked about just how scary prayer can be. Growing up, we all ask God for things, and sometimes remember to thank him for the blessing in our lives, but this class, prayer class, was going to be a new type of prayer. We were going to be challenged to give ourselves over to God. To allow him inside of us, and let him work through us. We were told that this type of prayer could be scary because it led us to the unknown, but in the end it would be very rewarding.

It was scary, but slowly, and through the support of the others in my class, we all found ourselves beginning to let God take a more active role in our lives, to allow him to be in control. It was an absolutely amazing semester of prayer.

Somehow over the past three years, I have lost that feeling. I find myself trying to keep control of my life instead of giving it over to God. Today’s song reminded me of that wonderful semester, that time when I was able to give all of myself.

Take my life, take my mind
Take my soul, take my will
Cause I am yours now, I give it all to you

Erinnicole's Prayer: Jeremy Camp's "Take My Life"

like a child reaching out

we talked today in my theology class about being worthy basically. we discussed the different kinds of love and Agape was one of them. Agape is the unconditional love of God. my teacher was telling us about one of our many "human conditions" and how one of them is that we naturally put other things before God, and that we don't stop and think "what would God think of this right now?" well first of all, i really like my teacher, and typically i agree with everything he says, but i didn't agree with this. i mean, i do stop and think or at least make an effort to. but i understood what he meant after he explained that when we feel this way it is Sin as an attitude. so then it made more sense and i don't think he meant applied to everyone. anyway, he continued to say that God loves us despite what we are, especially when we sin. he told us that because of our natural inclination toward Sin, it is often hard to love God above everything else all the time but how unconditional love works is that we don't have to. It was said that the Agape love is just us having to accept the peace and love God gives us and of course we should love Him back, but our primary thing is that the Love God gives us is a gift and we are just supposed to accept it. it is not earned, it is given. all we simply have to do to receive it, is reach out our hands like a child. i thought that was a nice thought. that something so valuable and yet so priceless and such a "Hot Commodity" (who doesn't want unconditional love?) is so easily accessible to me just for being me...virtually nothing more than a weak and unworthy human just struggling to love God. God is so generous and good!!

Marie's Prayer: Jeremy Camp's "Take My Life"

like a child reaching out

I'm reaching out to God, I want Him to take my hand and tell me what to do next. Like a child I am anxiously awaiting answers to my questions. Why? I ask, that one word insistent, and annoying. Why did I let myself get swept away in lies? Why did my car decide not to start today after school? I always ask, yet I know it must have happened for a reason. So I reach out to God like a child, expectant to learn these vast many things that have puzzled me so. Hoping that He'll answer me. So I wait.

Chris' prayer: Jeremy Camp's "Take My Life"

Here I am I'm giving all I can … I feel I'm through

One of my favorite Christian songs is Big Daddy Weave's "Being in Love with You." In the song, Mike Weaver sings essentially about being bogged down with doing all of God's work, but not being able to feel God's Love. That sentiment is echoed in the first verse of Camp's song from today.

Right now, in my ministry, I feel a little bogged down. I feel like I'm doing everything that is being asked of me, everything that I'm being called to and more, but I'm finding it hard to feel God's joy right now. It feels like I'm being pulled in a hundred different directions, and yet without any direction at all. In short, I feel I'm through.

I'm hoping this feeling passes. I'm hoping that I'm able to find joy in what I'm doing soon. That is my prayer for today, that I might be able to give all I can, and (perhaps selfishly) feel something in return.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Rich Mullins' "Hold Me, Jesus"

Although I have been in school for over 15 years now, there was something about this semester that had me terrified. Last night, the night before classes started, I was worried about all the new classes, the new teachers, the pending assignments and exams. There was no one particular thing that worried me so much, but just the idea of jumping into something new again.

This morning wasn’t much better. I was so nervous that I was feeling physically sick to my stomach. My hands were sweating, and my heart was racing. Looking back, that would have been the perfect opportunity to turn to God, to pray for peace, to talk to him and have him help calm my nerves. It would have been the perfect time to listen to today’s song.

So hold me Jesus, ‘cause I’m shaking like a leaf.

What a simple and wonderful thought. Just being held by Jesus, allowing his presence to calm my nerves. Allowing his arms to wrap around me, offering me the comfort and support I so desperately need. It almost makes me look forward to next time that I’m feeling worried or anxious.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Rich Mullins' "Hold Me, Jesus"

i absolutely love this song. it encompasses everything i want faith to be...because when i am scared, i like to be held. the physical and personal attachment is a really strong reminder that i'm not doing it alone. but like in the song, its really difficult to just give it all up.

Surrender don't come natural to me

again with the whole thing about me having the do things on my own and not being able to accept help. but i think...keeping in mind this song...that Jesus wants to help me. and i know that seems like it should be so obvious but its so easy for me to forget. to remember that He is my Prince of Peace and He will help me when everything seems lost and the mountains seem so much bigger than my faith. God, my prayer is for You to remind me daily to trust in Your Love for me, just like we discussed on my REAP retreat yesterday.

Marie's Prayer: Rich Mullins' "Hold Me Jesus"

When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

Sometimes, like this past week I feel like my problems and my past are these huge mountains. I feel like I need to climb over them but my faith and hope don't seem big enough to last. What I need to learn is that God can help me build these things and that when the time is right I will make it over them.

Sometimes I feel that other people have such strong feelings about different things. Some people have a very firm belief in love or hope or even in belief. I don't even know if I feel that strongly about anything right now, when all I want is something I can cling to and hold on to. My goal is to find that.

Chris' prayer: Rich Mullins' "Hold me, Jesus"

I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need

I would come as no surprise to those that know me best that I can be extremely stubborn. In fact, it should come as no surprise to the readers of this blog, either, as I've mentioned it before. The need to be in control is something that I struggle with constantly. It even affects my faith life. Rather than following God's plan for me, I often feel the need to steer my own life, to have some kind of input into what I end up doing or who I end up being. Rather than being content to follow, I force my way to lead.

Fortunately for me, hope comes just a couple lines later, where we find out just how persistent and strong Jesus is:

Your grace rings out so deep,
It makes my resistance seem so thin.

YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Marie's Prayer: Rich Mullins' "Awesome God"

He has lightning in His footsteps and thunder in His fists

How many times do people wish they have super powers? Now it might be strange for me to bring this up, but this probably isn't all about that cool power of throwing lightning. This is probably to show us that God has power over EVERYTHING. To me that is like really awesome. Sometimes I feel like I have no control over my life at all. It's hard for me to think someone might have all the answers. When I think about this I always think about God's sovereignty. I wonder if it's all predestined or do we have some choice in this crazy world that always throws us for a spin. I hope we do, but even if we do I like knowing God's always there to step in if I really need it.

He spoke into the darkness and created all the light

Erinnicole's Prayer: Rich Mullin's "Awesome God"

With wisdom, power, and love

It is amazing and comforting to think that of all of the things that humans seem to be chasing, wisdom, power, and love are the biggest desire. And God already possesses them! and is more than willing to share if we will let Him!! And someone who i can place all of my faith, trust, and life in has MORE than the necessary requirements to care for me!! My prayer is that i can remember these things and give myself to You, Lord. Especially when times are good...i somehow tend to forget that part.

Megan's prayer: Rich Mullins' "Awesome God"

One of the worst things, at least for me, is the feeling that I am being taken for granted. When my generosity, which was once appreciated, is now expected. When there is no longer gratitude for the work I have done, but only disappointment if I fail to come through.

I know, in saying that, I am a hypocrite. I have been so blessed in my life, and many times I forget to give thanks to God for all of these wonderful things. Sometimes I take God for granted, coming to just expect that things will be easy or go my way, and then being upset when that doesn’t happen.

In today’s song, Rich Mullins says

I hope that we have not
Too quickly forgotten that
Our God is an awesome God

I pray that I will never forget that. I pray that I am able to see each day all that I have been blessed with. I pray that every minute of every day serves as a reminder to me that MY God is an awesome God.

Chris' prayer: Rich Mullins' "Awesome God"

awe•some | 'ôsӘm| adj. extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear

I have always been completely and utterly fascinated by the universe in which we live. In fact, by the definition above, I would say that I find it to be awesome. Its sheer size (though no one knows, one guess puts it currently at around 156,000,000,000 light years across) I find daunting. The number of stars I find jaw-dropping (70,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 way back in 2003). Its age (13,700,000,000 years), I find overwhelming. The idea that the stars that I see on a clear night are actually from years and years ago, I find mind-boggling.

And when the sky was starless in the void of the night
He spoke into the darkness and created the light

God created all of this? And to take it a step further– We are children of that God who created all of this? And another step– and He created all of this for us? Our God is an awesome God.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: SONICFLOOD's "Lord, I Lift Your Name on High"

I can remember singing “Lord, I Lift Your Name on High” at all school Masses in grade school. It was one of the few upbeat songs we sang, and maybe the only song that had hand motions that we got to do. I still remember how excited I would get when our choir director started to play the song. It turned Mass, which seemed boring to me in grade school, into something fun, enjoyable, upbeat. It was finally something for the kids, something that we felt a part of.

For the past 3.5 years, I have attended noon Mass at St. Cletus. Although not my home parish, I continue to go there because of the music. Just as “Lord, I Lift Your Name on High” helped bring Mass to life for me in grade school, the music selection at St. Cletus continues to do the same for me now. Mass is not about sitting back and being a spectator, but it is about participating. The music is what helps me do this, it is what helps me draw into a deeper relationship with God.

Lord, I love to sing your praises.

Erinnicole's Prayer: SONICFLOOD's "Lord I Lift Your Name on High"

Lord, I Love to sing Your Praises!

i am super acquainted with this song and proudly do the motions when we sing it in my parish. not to be a copy cat to chris....but i too, love singing! i love singing Christian music especially because its so full of passion! im getting exciting just thinking about it!! and it makes it simple for me to express my emotions when i sing. because singing doesn't have to be anything but feeling, and the majority of times, when i am praying all i can do is sing because i can't formulate any other communication. which is good i think, because, like they say, 'singing is praying twice!'. i remember once at one of my first XLT's ever, at a new church, i was singing really loud because i get super joyful during Adoration and am filled with all these songs that burst from my spirit and after it was over, a girl who has a very lovely voice said to me, 'erin i heard you singing and you are really good' and i was like, 'o...thanks, i didnt realize i was so loud. and what are you complimenting me for? ive heard you sing and you are amazing.' and she said to me, ' i dont know how i sing because im only doing it for Jesus so it doesn't matter if its good or not...i mean He gave me the voice'. and it was so wonderful it just inspired me to sing even more.

Marie's Prayer: SONICFLOOd's "Lord I Liftt Your Name On High"

You came from Heaven to earth
To show the way

How cool is that that God came to earth to show us what to do? I mean earth is SUPER confusing place. He's still here though, leading us, no matter how reluctant we may be. Sometimes we don't know that He has shown us and we ask Him for a sign. Then poof, something happens and we're like "oh THAT'S what I'm supposed to do. Thanks!" But He was already here, no need to wait any longer. All we have to do is follow.

Chris' prayer: SONICFLOOd's "Lord, I Lift Your Name on High"

Lord, I love to sing Your praises

One of the things I've discovered in my spiritual journey is that, no matter what happens, God will always give each of us a way to talk to Him. He will always give each of us a vessel through which to worship Him. For me, that vessel is song.

I love to sing. Love, love, love to sing. And it is through song that, even if I have no other way, I can talk to, and praise, my God.

Such was the case at the beginning of last year. My personal prayers felt hollow and forced. Mass wasn't going all that well. Every way that I tried to communicate with Him wasn't working for me– except song. Even when I was at the darkest point in my spiritual journey, I was still able to sing His praises. And it was through song, during Adoration on a retreat I was helping lead, that I began to be pulled out of my spiritual funk.

God was there, reminding me that, even when I don't have my own words, even when recited prayer feels hollow, that He is still there listening to me, and will help me find a way to get my point across. Lord, I love to sing your praises.


Lyrics

Marie's Prayer: Kutless' "Not What You See"

Do you know why we always fight

I feel like I'm in a constant struggle to be a better person. I try to get into better habits, but I always revert back into my old ways because I'm to pusillanimous to actually change. People look at others who have done major things wrong and think they're the only ones who need to "change their ways". But I realize that while sure someone like my friend Brad who's been in jail for stealing needs to change, but so do I. I need to improve myself before I can even start to help him.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Kutless' "Not What You See"

How could I ever think to be more
than the one who created me

While i don't ever actually say that i think i am placing myself above God, i often try to do things on my own. my attitude has always been that i can do everything on my own. despite some of my actions saying otherwise, like my timid side, i am actually very independent. i don't like being helped and i can't do group work. i would always rather work alone. Even when i was young; we continue to dub our home videos from my early childhood to dvd and as im watching i am realizing i have always been this way. on my second birthday tape, my grandpa tried to help me unwrap a gift i was having trouble with, and i yelled at him to stop.

But i understand, mostly through this song, it's very pompous of myself to think that i should be above God's help. i didn't really consider that this idea was even my take on things, but it seems like something i would do. when i am truly struggling with something, i try to "get back" at the world by getting through it all on my own so later i can say "thanks for not helping at all but that's okay, world, i didn't need it". i honestly dont know why i act that way, but i think sometimes God gets factored in. i know He will always listen but i just want to be able to say i did things all on my own. My prayer is that God, you may help me to be more willing to accept help, especially from you.

Megan's prayer: Kutless' "Not What You See"

Humility is not one of my strong suits. I find myself putting others down, belittling others, even though they don’t deserve it. Not really an attractive quality, I realize, but I am working on it.

Today’s song helped point out the obvious: The world doesn’t revolve around me. It also showed me that, in reality, the world should only revolve around one person.

Only one deserves this exaltation
Only one deserves this elevation

How can I, as a human, really think that I am better than others? How can anyone place themselves higher than others? Weren’t we all made by God, in his own image and likeness? We, as humans, were all created equal. We, as humans, have no reason to put others below us.

And then there is Jesus. The one who deserves “exaltation” and “elevation.”

But even He, He laid it down to serve on bended knee.

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "Not What You See"

Do you feel the tensions rise?
Do you know why we always fight to be better?
Better than you and you better than me?

The other night, I watched a show on television that I had never seen before. After flipping through the few channels I get and not seeing anything I recognized, I settled on True Beauty, a reality show where the contestants compete to see who is truly the most beautiful person, inside and out. The show puts the contestants through obvious physical beauty tests, but also secretly evaluates how beautiful each contestant is on the inside. At the end of the night, as with many reality shows, one person is voted off, in this case by three judges.

Throughout the show, many of the contestants were insulting the others, comparing their physical features to those of their competitors, and trying to assert how favorably they compared. The eventual losing contestant said, "I'm the most gorgeous, dammit. I don't care what...Mr. Palmer [the doctor who gave all the contestants their first test] said."

As I watched the show, knowing what was going on, I wondered how I would do in a competition like this. As a Christian, would I be gracious and loving as I'm called to be, or would I get caught up in the competition as the cameras are hoping, and wind up betraying who I am called to be, if not verbally, then by my actions. When all the cameras are on me, and even when I think that they have all moved on, would I make the gracious, loving choices?

I realize that True Beauty appeals to the lowest common denominator and that there are much better things that I could be doing with my time. But, ultimately, I hope this show will reward exactly the person who Jon Micah Sumrall is talking about in this song: the one who is not what others see, but the one who serves others.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Marie's Prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "What I was Made For"

Good-bye to my old life
I don’t listen to those lies anymore

Sometimes I think that my whole past was a lie. This year I'm focused on the truth and getting rid of everything that made me a worse person than I should be. So I'm saying good-bye to my old life and focusing on the new and improved me. So I ask God to help me this better person. No more lies, I won't listen to them.

Megan's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "What I Was Made For"

Confidence is still something I struggle with in my life. Even though my grades in school are great, I still can’t see that it is a reflection on my hard work I put into the classes. I see it as an accident, or a mistake, or that I just got lucky. I’m not sure why, but I am constantly struggling with whether or not I’m good enough.

I’m working on that confidence. I’m working on believing in myself. And when I’m going through those times where I can’t seem to see the good, I’m working on believing those who are still able to see it in me.

I’m hoping someday this song will be true…

I used to think that I was never good enough to cut it.
It took a while for me to see but I finally saw it.

Chris' prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "What I Was Made For"

Whenever possible, I like to interrupt my work day with prayanewsong. Usually shortly after lunch, I'll close anything I'm working on, stop checking the email incessantly, and just try to get 20-30 minutes of good praying/listening in.

Today, that is just not possible. The second I logged in to Blogger to do my praying, the office got busy. I was emailed, IMed, and a coworker walked into the office and is talking with my other peers. I thought about just stopping and waiting until I could find peace later in the day...and I still might.

But this reminds me of a question I was asked last night by one of the teens in my youth group. S/he asked, "How do you know when it is God that is talking to you?" Because of all the stuff flying around the office right now, there is a very small signal to noise ratio. What God is trying to tell me is mixed in with the conversation going on behind me, the ding of the instant messenger, and the woosh of the email client. What He's saying through this song is very hard to hear at this point.

Like I told the teen last night, the answer is patience. A lack of hearing requires even more listening. And its importance is not lost on me. The dialog with God, the back-and-forth relationship with Him, the Love shared between me and Him is what I was made for.

iTunes | Lyrics

Erinnicole's Prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "What I Was Made For"

I am really big on Purpose, the concept. I like being needed, and i enjoy specific tasks assigned to me. So as far as God's Plan for me, i pray a lot about what it is. So far, God hasn't seen fit to show it to me yet, and i'm okay with that. i will wait as long as i am supposed to. but until then, i understand the most simple of all fates i am to be doing loving Him. It reminds me of the acronym JOY, of the order to love. when you love Jesus, you can love Others, when you love Jesus and Others, you can love Yourself.

Loving You is what i was made for

Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Overjoyed"

Both tomorrow and Wednesday I have the opportunity to spend very personal and intimate time with Jesus – time spent going to Adoration. One of my favorite times of the week – a time just to sit and be in his presence.

Today’s song raised a question, one that I find myself occasionally asking…

Who am I that I should company with something so divine?

How am I, an imperfect human, so lucky that I have the opportunity to get to hang out with Jesus every week? Am I really worthy to just sit in his presence, talking to him? Maybe this all goes back to my insecurities and question of self worth. Hopefully tomorrow I will realize that he wants me there as much as I want to be there, if not more.

Marie's Prayer: Jars of Clay's "Overjoyed"

Mirror spins
Wicked tales
Here lies reflections of
Deceptions

I have been looking through the rearview mirror lately on not only my past, but my parents' past. There were deceptions and I can still hear my dad's voice recounting wicked tales of the deception. These facts have impressed different ideas in my head about who my parents are. Sometimes I wish I'd never asked about the divorce in the first place. All those ugly details have put thoughts in my head that one shouldn't think. So I will try to get past the past and focus on the here and now.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Jars of Clay's "Overjoyed"

I don't like the one I have created today
Crossing nameless from the one I've earned
To be the one, the one you gave to me

As i have said before, this is my latest and greatest struggle. So this pops out at me. I sort of feel uncreative, honestly but it is so dominant in my heart that i guess i can't help but hear God's voice in this way. This basically sums up all of the feelings i am having, and its so annoying and upsetting to realize that the reason i am this way, so seemingly far from God, is because of my own choices. no one makes the choice to put and keep a wall up between God, i do that with my actions. last night, i tried very hard to pull that wall down because i feel like i am literally talking to a wall sometimes when i try to pray since my heart isn't in it. i am more or less talking into the darkness, even though i know He is there and can hear me. i want to be able to speak to him like i would to a friend that would listen. but i was having such a problem with it. so i brought it to my mom and she said that when words can't be found, simple things like "Jesus, I hurt" can be just as effective because you are willingly making the attempt at conversation. it helped. each night, i pray that i be able to be a little more of the person God wants me to be and a little less of the negative image i have created around certain people or for certain things...because i do recognize that not all of me is bad :) thanks to Him.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Overjoyed"

About five months ago, I started attending weekly Adoration/Holy Hour up at church. Before doing this, I had only been to Adoration with praise and worship music and 30-1500 other people. Never before had it just been me and Jesus (or me, two others, and Jesus).

And, to be honest, I was a little scared to go the first time. How would I fill an entire hour? Just how boring would it be? Could I possibly do this once, let alone on a weekly basis?

Now, though, I long for that hour each week. I long for that time where I can just be with my Savior and feel His presence as He sits right there before me. I long to hear the words that He implants on my heart each week.

More than anything, I long for the peace that comes in His presence. No matter what is going on that week, no matter how many things I have to do, or what might be going wrong, or what I'm worried about, during that hour, I'm able to put all of it aside, to place all of it at His feet, if only for that one hour. I have found, in a very real way, that

Thoughts of peace can overcome anything.

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Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Goodbye, Goodnight"

And fake a smile as we all say goodbye

It can be really, really hard sometimes to say goodbye.

Right now, I'm having trouble saying goodbye to a friend. Or, more accurately, the role that a friend has played in my life. We still get along, and still have a great time whenever we see each other, but things have changed. The role that he played in my life has moved from something of depth, of real substance, to more of a surface-level type friendship. This is not how I wanted it to be. This is not what I had envisioned for our relationship.

But it is what it is. Sometimes I have to say goodbye even when I don't want to. Sometimes I have to say goodbye to people I don't want to. Or to roles that people play. And sometimes I have to fake a smile all along, pretending that everything is okay.



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Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Goodbye, Goodnight"

Today’s song, in particular the last line of each verse, made me sad.

And fake a smile as we all say goodbye.

I try to be a happy person, always with a smile on my face, but sometimes it is hard, and the only way to make that happen is to fake the smile. But the idea of having to fake a smile is horrible. The fake smile is like putting up a wall. Not letting others see what is really going on inside, just trying to convince them with the fake smile that everything is perfect. But it is these times when things aren’t perfect that we need the help of others the most, that we need to let others see us frown, or see us cry. By allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, and letting others know of the true emotions we hold inside, we will grow closer to those around us.

These friendships and relationship we gain from letting others in are so important. I pray that, even though it is hard some times, that I am able to open up and allow others in so I can grow with them.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Jars of Clay's "Goodbye, Goodnight"

This is one of the most simple and beautiful songs i have ever heard. the lyrics are simple, but so powerful. and they are full of truth.

sigh for all the lost

it seems like this is something a lot of people, myself included, tend to do. we sigh for the lost...and do nothing else. sometimes its apathy, often its fear, and many times it is confusion or being lost ourselves. i for one, don't really now how to help a lot of lost people, mostly because i do feel so lost a lot of the time. people that need love right in front of my nose can be easy...if they want love. and people across the world that need love...how do i help them? prayers of course but i always feel like i could be doing more. ill start remembering to inquire more, that will get me somewhere.

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "Down"

I've listened to this song over and over, trying to find some meaning in it for my life. Various thoughts have floated into my head, but one has stuck with me: we do not know what happens to the girl. We hear all about her sadness, her pain, her depression, her frustration...but we are offered only a glimmer of hope of what *could* happen. Not what does happen–at least not in any real, quantifiable way– but what could happen.

The song ends like this:

She wants to fly away from this.
Only God knows how to fly away from this.
He will show her how to fly away from this.

We never hear that she did fly away. We never hear that her emptiness was filled, that her pain has subsided, that her problems are fixed. Despite God knowing how to take away all her pain, and despite Him showing her how to give it all to Him, we never hear if she did or not.

I know that I hold onto my struggles all the time. Despite hearing, and even believing, that it would be much easier and healthier for me to let God handle them, here I sit, still holding on tightly. I know that, no matter what I am struggling with, He is big enough to conquer it, that His love covers all things. I hope that one day, the song of my life will not be "unfinished," as I feel this one is. I pray that my song will show the result of handing over to God all that He can handle.


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Megan's prayer: Kutless' "Down"

Our world is full of beautiful people. Whether short or tall, skinny or fat, male or female, I think every person is beautiful. They were made in God’s image… how could they not be beautiful? And yet, sometimes, I look in the mirror and have a hard time seeing that in myself.

Tonight I found out I’m not the only one who feels this way. I was talking with a friend who was also having a hard time seeing, and believing, that she was beautiful, and this shocked me. I have always thought she was gorgeous, stunning, truly beautiful. To hear her talk without any confidence made me so sad.

When I had the chance to sit down tonight and listen to Kutless’ “Down,” I was shocked to see that the song fit so perfectly into my night.

A young girl walks into her room and doesn’t like what she sees
In her reflection there, she’s not what she wants to be

I want to be like the movie stars and models on the screen

It’s so sad to see that society dictates to us what is beautiful. Isn’t it God who created us, who made us in his image, who made us beautiful?

My wish, my hope, my prayer, is that everyone (including me) is able to see, and believe in, their own beauty.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Kutless' "Down"

In her reflection there,she's not what she wants to be

this song so perfectly captures exactly how i feel about myself right now in life. the only part that doesn't match up is the part about matching models and movie stars. i don't want to be them...but i don't want to be the person i am right now either. the struggle between being the person i know i should be and the person i am has been my most dominant struggle for a while now. it has been there for a while, but it surfaced at fall retreat during a small group question. i don't know who God wants me to be yet, but i am so sure that it is different than who i am. i know that only God can give me the ability and strength to be someone new, and i think this new year is the perfect time to do this, especially with a fresh start in college. its not that i do terrible things, but i am doing things i am ashamed to see myself doing like a lot of negative humor toward a lot of people, sarcasm is the most fluent language of the people i hang out with and i feel like it is affecting my relationship with God because it is affecting my relationships with people He has given me. i feel like i have fallen so far from what my faith once was and now i am scratching the surface of faith again; just doing the motions of what i want my faith to be again. but i feel like things like working on my stillness and a fresh start and listening to God speak through these songs is really helping me.

Megan's prayer: SONICFLOOD's "I Want to Know You (In the Secret)"

On January 1st, 2008, I made two New Year’s resolutions. I normally don’t, probably because I don’t want to set myself up for failure, but on that day I had two resolutions I was confident I would succeed at.

The first one was that I wanted to give up boys for the year. Having just gotten out of a relationship, and still being upset with the entire male gender, I thought it would be easy. A year without crushes, dates, and boyfriends.

The second one was just as straightforward. I wanted to rediscover my relationship with God. I felt like I was at a point that I went to Mass, but not much more than that. I desperately wanted to know God.

2008 Resolution:
I want to know you.

Looking back a year later, I realized I failed miserable at the first one. But luckily the complete failure of the first resolution helped me in my second resolution. My relationship has been one of the driving forces that has helped me to rediscover my faith, and to deepen the relationship with God. Although better, it’s not near perfect yet, which is why I have a similar resolution for this year.

2009 Resolution:
I want to know you more.

Marie's Prayer: SONICFLOOd's "I Want to Know You(In the Secret"

I am reaching for the highest goal
That I might receive the prize.

I find myself reaching, but then I think... there might not be a prize. I am a very cynical person and I always find myself asking if anything is worth risking everything for. Is there such a thing as unconditional love? I want to believe there is, more than anything, but there's always something someone says or does that makes me think love is myth. That's why I reach out to reach the prize of knowledge. To know love.

Chris' prayer: SONICFLOOd's "I Want to Know You (In the Secret)"

In preparing to listen to the each day's song, I start my prayer with something along the lines of "Lord, please help me to hear your voice through this song today. Help me to hear your message clearly. Help me to draw closer to you."

This song echoes that prayer.

I want to hear Your voice.
I want to know You more.

Hearing God's voice has got to be the hardest part of praying. It is easy to thank God for the blessings in my life, and even easier to ask Him for things. It is always hard to hear Him, and even more difficult to listen.

Two and a half weeks into this project, though, the listening is getting easier. The continued prayer of wanting to hear my God is being answered little by little, day by day. In that process, I am coming to know more about Him, and more about myself, too.

My prayer is that it continues in 2009.


YouTube | Lyrics

Erinnicole's Prayer: SONICFLOOd's "I Want to Know You (In the Secret)"

In the stillness You are there

Being still is really hard for me for a few reasons. First, and most obvious, i'm really busy. i have school stuff, college stuff, a really crazy work schedule, and then the social life i'd like to have, and the faith life i'm trying to have. So i'm always moving figuratively, even if it's just a list in my mind. Physically, it's very hard for me to be still when i am with people because i'm very aware of things, i always have been. I have to know what is going on around me or i go into a panic attack; like when i listen to music, it can't be that loud, and when i have headphones in i can only have it in one ear so i can still hear out of the other one. and its a struggle for me to close my eyes in groups of people, but i'm growing a lot in my ability to trust God and do that.

there is this song by David Kaufman called "Be Still, My Love". based off of a verse in the Bible that i don't actually know... but anyway, one time this song just started playing in my kitchen when i was home alone and i walked into the kitchen and the cd player was set on an alarm so that's why it was playing...i asked my family but no one had set an alarm. that week had been a stressful week so i took it as God telling me to calm down. then there was a night at steubenville this year stressing the same thing. last night while i prayed i was still for a very long time and it was an incredible prayer and i think God even talked to me. so i will continue to work on stillness.

be safe tonight everyone and have a fantastic new year's eve!

Megan's prayer: Matt Maher's "All Glory to God"

Last night I had the chance to spend the whole evening surrounded by those who care about me. A night full of wonderful food, old family movies, new board games, and lots of laughing. The whole night was just perfect. I felt so loved.

Nights like these serve as a reminder of just how blessed I am. Just how wonderful my life is. Just how perfect things can be when surrounded by family, and by God.

Everyday I know I'm blessed just to know my heart
It rests in his hands that gave me life.

Marie's Prayer: Matt Maher's "All Glory to God"

Whatever is good in me

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I have been so caught up in the holiday's it's insane! I find I'm struggling to see what is good in me. You might find this silly but I find out more about myself when I read books. If a character is struggling with something somehow I can relate to some of it. So I ask God to help me find whatever is good in me.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Matt Maher's "All Glory to God"

I was thrilled by the amount of energy in this song; this is what faith is about! Joy and dancing!

All Glory To God!
I'll Always Be His!

It is so exciting to know that in a relationship on which my entire life depends - the one i have with My Father - can be so full of life and love and excitement, even through the hard times, the joy doesn't have to go away because there is always something to be joyful for.

Chris' prayer: Matt Maher's "All Glory to God"

Maher isn't the first to do this song, and he won't be the last. It is such a simple and wonderful song that I can see this one being done by many Christian artists to come. What I love about his version, however, is the way he sings it.

Maher makes this song one that you can only sing at the top of your lungs, exclaiming (and not just singing) each line. He makes each line of the song something to be excited about. This song is a reminder that our faith is not something pedestrian, something ordinary, something common. Our faith is exactly the opposite. It is exciting. It is extraordinary. It is exceptional.

Everything I say and do, everything I am to You,
Oh, I pray, that you will knoooooooooooow!

All glory to God! All honor is His!
No other is worthy of his name!

All glory to God! I'll always be His!
Forever I'll live to sing his praise!

Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Rich Mullins' "That Where I Am, There You..."

In the world you will have trouble…
The world will show you hatred…

Not the most reassuring or friendly thoughts. A world full of “trouble” and “hatred?” As horrible as it sounds, I believe that it is sometimes true. Because we are not perfect humans, because we make mistakes, because of countless reasons – the world is not a perfect place. Luckily, as the song shows, we still have hope.

…but I leave you my peace.
…the Spirit show you truth.

In this imperfect place, God sends his peace and sends the Spirit to show us truth. He is doing all that he can to make the world better, to make the world a place where we can find love. It’s sad to think of how long it took me to even recognize that, or to think of those who still haven’t recognized that. We are here because of God. We find peace, love, because of God. God is everything.

Chris' prayer: Rich Mullins' "That Where I Am, There You..."

Ah, Rich Mullins. One of my favorite Christian artists and a fascinating man, someone who was always searching for a clearer and clearer truth. That Where I Am, There You... is a fantastic song. This line is my favorite:

If I go prepare a place for you, I will come back again

I love the assurance that the second half of the line provides. I picture a father, crouching down to his child, looking him square in the eyes, holding the child's hands, and repeating until his son or daughter understands. "I will be right back. I'll be right back for you. Okay?" That is the assurance we are getting from our Lord in today's song. The assurance that He'll be back for us, that we have not been abandoned.

The first half of the line has tremendous importance, though. I suppose that God, being God, didn't really have to leave us at all. I'm sure that He could have shaken His hands about, creating the place that was prepared for us while He was right here on Earth. However, that is not how it happened. Instead, we were left while He went to prepare our place in Heaven.

Why, exactly?

I get the feeling that, rather than being "left," we were trusted. Trusted with an unbelievable task: the task of building the Kingdom of God right here on Earth. God could have done all of this Himself, but instead, He chose to trust us to love one another, to spread the good news of the Gospels, to provide compassion and hope to our brothers and sisters.

It's a heavy assignment. Fortunately, He has told us that we won't have to go about it alone forever. He'll be right back for us.


iTunes | Lyrics

Erinnicole's Prayer: Rich Mullins' "That Where I Am, There You Are"

Remember you did not choose me, no I have chosen you
The world will show you hatred, the Spirit show you truth

In the first line of this song, when he said "i am going to prepare a place", i immediately thought 'this song is about death' but as he continuing singing, i caught on that it was Jesus speaking and thought to myself, 'how ironic, its actually about The Life!' Having confidence that God chose me gives me great comfort and joy in knowing that someone wants me to belong to them. i like feeling like i belong to someone because it makes me feel found, instead of feeling very lost and alone. The second line backs up my joy because to me, it says ' I know that the world is hard, but you are worth it to Me that I have chosen you so that I may improve your life through my spirit'. that makes me feel so loved! i've been really confident ever since i was little, so seeing my own worth was never a problem for me. but sometimes (like a little bit lately) i feel like other people can't see my worth and that hurts me because i know its there but at times i lose strength and feel like if many people can't see it, maybe it actually isn't. but God telling me through this song that i am worth it to Him means the world to me, that's the only reassurance i need to know that i have value and that i am cared for and loved.

Megan's prayer: Shane and Shane's "Lord, I Give You My Heart"

This song is filled with confidence. It speaks of a faith life where there is no confusion, there is no concern, there is no worry. Everything is for God. Every song, every moment, every breath – it is for God.

Confidence, especially in my faith life, is something that I lack. I know that I have that desire, that want, for more… but I’m never sure if I’m going about it the right way.

Every breath that I take
Every moment I’m awake

I would love if that was true in my life. I would love to commit myself fully to God in that way. I’m not really sure what is holding me back. Maybe it is being afraid I am doing it wrong, or just being worried about something unknown. There is something holding me back. Hopefully I can figure out what that is, and try to work through it.

Chris' Prayer: Shane and Shane's "Lord, I Give You My Heart"

I feel like there is an ocean between the first line of the song and the rest. I've been on one shore, and, in fact, make my home on one shore. I venture over to the other only once every so often, just long enough to play the role of tourist and see why it is such a great place. But before getting too comfortable, it seems like I'm being called back home to the shore where the first line of the song resides.

This is my desire, to honor You

I do! I desire to honor my God. I desire to do all of the things the rest of the song talks about, but alas, they are 1,000 miles away on a distant shore. Worship Him with all of my heart? Adore only what is from Him? Give Him my heart and my soul? To live for Him alone? Yeah, I've been there long enough to take some really neat pictures and maybe even purchase a T-shirt or knick knack. But to actually reside on that shore? To make my home there?

I hope to...someday. It's just the leaving everything behind, on the other shore, that scares me.


Lyrics

Erinnicole's Prayer: Shane and Shane's "Lord I Give You My Heart"

Lord have Your way in me

Each day, my prayer is for people to look at me and not see the actual me at all - i want to be so holy and such an example of God that they will see Jesus. I know that God has a plan for me and i want to be able to exercise my willingness to execute that plan willingly. I have seen God work through people, in big and small ways, and i would love to be a tool of God's Hand! I love helping people so why not credit it to the right Person? :)