Marie's Prayer: Jars of Clay's "Overjoyed"

Mirror spins
Wicked tales
Here lies reflections of
Deceptions

I have been looking through the rearview mirror lately on not only my past, but my parents' past. There were deceptions and I can still hear my dad's voice recounting wicked tales of the deception. These facts have impressed different ideas in my head about who my parents are. Sometimes I wish I'd never asked about the divorce in the first place. All those ugly details have put thoughts in my head that one shouldn't think. So I will try to get past the past and focus on the here and now.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Jars of Clay's "Overjoyed"

I don't like the one I have created today
Crossing nameless from the one I've earned
To be the one, the one you gave to me

As i have said before, this is my latest and greatest struggle. So this pops out at me. I sort of feel uncreative, honestly but it is so dominant in my heart that i guess i can't help but hear God's voice in this way. This basically sums up all of the feelings i am having, and its so annoying and upsetting to realize that the reason i am this way, so seemingly far from God, is because of my own choices. no one makes the choice to put and keep a wall up between God, i do that with my actions. last night, i tried very hard to pull that wall down because i feel like i am literally talking to a wall sometimes when i try to pray since my heart isn't in it. i am more or less talking into the darkness, even though i know He is there and can hear me. i want to be able to speak to him like i would to a friend that would listen. but i was having such a problem with it. so i brought it to my mom and she said that when words can't be found, simple things like "Jesus, I hurt" can be just as effective because you are willingly making the attempt at conversation. it helped. each night, i pray that i be able to be a little more of the person God wants me to be and a little less of the negative image i have created around certain people or for certain things...because i do recognize that not all of me is bad :) thanks to Him.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Overjoyed"

About five months ago, I started attending weekly Adoration/Holy Hour up at church. Before doing this, I had only been to Adoration with praise and worship music and 30-1500 other people. Never before had it just been me and Jesus (or me, two others, and Jesus).

And, to be honest, I was a little scared to go the first time. How would I fill an entire hour? Just how boring would it be? Could I possibly do this once, let alone on a weekly basis?

Now, though, I long for that hour each week. I long for that time where I can just be with my Savior and feel His presence as He sits right there before me. I long to hear the words that He implants on my heart each week.

More than anything, I long for the peace that comes in His presence. No matter what is going on that week, no matter how many things I have to do, or what might be going wrong, or what I'm worried about, during that hour, I'm able to put all of it aside, to place all of it at His feet, if only for that one hour. I have found, in a very real way, that

Thoughts of peace can overcome anything.

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Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Goodbye, Goodnight"

And fake a smile as we all say goodbye

It can be really, really hard sometimes to say goodbye.

Right now, I'm having trouble saying goodbye to a friend. Or, more accurately, the role that a friend has played in my life. We still get along, and still have a great time whenever we see each other, but things have changed. The role that he played in my life has moved from something of depth, of real substance, to more of a surface-level type friendship. This is not how I wanted it to be. This is not what I had envisioned for our relationship.

But it is what it is. Sometimes I have to say goodbye even when I don't want to. Sometimes I have to say goodbye to people I don't want to. Or to roles that people play. And sometimes I have to fake a smile all along, pretending that everything is okay.



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Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Goodbye, Goodnight"

Today’s song, in particular the last line of each verse, made me sad.

And fake a smile as we all say goodbye.

I try to be a happy person, always with a smile on my face, but sometimes it is hard, and the only way to make that happen is to fake the smile. But the idea of having to fake a smile is horrible. The fake smile is like putting up a wall. Not letting others see what is really going on inside, just trying to convince them with the fake smile that everything is perfect. But it is these times when things aren’t perfect that we need the help of others the most, that we need to let others see us frown, or see us cry. By allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, and letting others know of the true emotions we hold inside, we will grow closer to those around us.

These friendships and relationship we gain from letting others in are so important. I pray that, even though it is hard some times, that I am able to open up and allow others in so I can grow with them.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Jars of Clay's "Goodbye, Goodnight"

This is one of the most simple and beautiful songs i have ever heard. the lyrics are simple, but so powerful. and they are full of truth.

sigh for all the lost

it seems like this is something a lot of people, myself included, tend to do. we sigh for the lost...and do nothing else. sometimes its apathy, often its fear, and many times it is confusion or being lost ourselves. i for one, don't really now how to help a lot of lost people, mostly because i do feel so lost a lot of the time. people that need love right in front of my nose can be easy...if they want love. and people across the world that need love...how do i help them? prayers of course but i always feel like i could be doing more. ill start remembering to inquire more, that will get me somewhere.

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "Down"

I've listened to this song over and over, trying to find some meaning in it for my life. Various thoughts have floated into my head, but one has stuck with me: we do not know what happens to the girl. We hear all about her sadness, her pain, her depression, her frustration...but we are offered only a glimmer of hope of what *could* happen. Not what does happen–at least not in any real, quantifiable way– but what could happen.

The song ends like this:

She wants to fly away from this.
Only God knows how to fly away from this.
He will show her how to fly away from this.

We never hear that she did fly away. We never hear that her emptiness was filled, that her pain has subsided, that her problems are fixed. Despite God knowing how to take away all her pain, and despite Him showing her how to give it all to Him, we never hear if she did or not.

I know that I hold onto my struggles all the time. Despite hearing, and even believing, that it would be much easier and healthier for me to let God handle them, here I sit, still holding on tightly. I know that, no matter what I am struggling with, He is big enough to conquer it, that His love covers all things. I hope that one day, the song of my life will not be "unfinished," as I feel this one is. I pray that my song will show the result of handing over to God all that He can handle.


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Megan's prayer: Kutless' "Down"

Our world is full of beautiful people. Whether short or tall, skinny or fat, male or female, I think every person is beautiful. They were made in God’s image… how could they not be beautiful? And yet, sometimes, I look in the mirror and have a hard time seeing that in myself.

Tonight I found out I’m not the only one who feels this way. I was talking with a friend who was also having a hard time seeing, and believing, that she was beautiful, and this shocked me. I have always thought she was gorgeous, stunning, truly beautiful. To hear her talk without any confidence made me so sad.

When I had the chance to sit down tonight and listen to Kutless’ “Down,” I was shocked to see that the song fit so perfectly into my night.

A young girl walks into her room and doesn’t like what she sees
In her reflection there, she’s not what she wants to be

I want to be like the movie stars and models on the screen

It’s so sad to see that society dictates to us what is beautiful. Isn’t it God who created us, who made us in his image, who made us beautiful?

My wish, my hope, my prayer, is that everyone (including me) is able to see, and believe in, their own beauty.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Kutless' "Down"

In her reflection there,she's not what she wants to be

this song so perfectly captures exactly how i feel about myself right now in life. the only part that doesn't match up is the part about matching models and movie stars. i don't want to be them...but i don't want to be the person i am right now either. the struggle between being the person i know i should be and the person i am has been my most dominant struggle for a while now. it has been there for a while, but it surfaced at fall retreat during a small group question. i don't know who God wants me to be yet, but i am so sure that it is different than who i am. i know that only God can give me the ability and strength to be someone new, and i think this new year is the perfect time to do this, especially with a fresh start in college. its not that i do terrible things, but i am doing things i am ashamed to see myself doing like a lot of negative humor toward a lot of people, sarcasm is the most fluent language of the people i hang out with and i feel like it is affecting my relationship with God because it is affecting my relationships with people He has given me. i feel like i have fallen so far from what my faith once was and now i am scratching the surface of faith again; just doing the motions of what i want my faith to be again. but i feel like things like working on my stillness and a fresh start and listening to God speak through these songs is really helping me.

Megan's prayer: SONICFLOOD's "I Want to Know You (In the Secret)"

On January 1st, 2008, I made two New Year’s resolutions. I normally don’t, probably because I don’t want to set myself up for failure, but on that day I had two resolutions I was confident I would succeed at.

The first one was that I wanted to give up boys for the year. Having just gotten out of a relationship, and still being upset with the entire male gender, I thought it would be easy. A year without crushes, dates, and boyfriends.

The second one was just as straightforward. I wanted to rediscover my relationship with God. I felt like I was at a point that I went to Mass, but not much more than that. I desperately wanted to know God.

2008 Resolution:
I want to know you.

Looking back a year later, I realized I failed miserable at the first one. But luckily the complete failure of the first resolution helped me in my second resolution. My relationship has been one of the driving forces that has helped me to rediscover my faith, and to deepen the relationship with God. Although better, it’s not near perfect yet, which is why I have a similar resolution for this year.

2009 Resolution:
I want to know you more.

Marie's Prayer: SONICFLOOd's "I Want to Know You(In the Secret"

I am reaching for the highest goal
That I might receive the prize.

I find myself reaching, but then I think... there might not be a prize. I am a very cynical person and I always find myself asking if anything is worth risking everything for. Is there such a thing as unconditional love? I want to believe there is, more than anything, but there's always something someone says or does that makes me think love is myth. That's why I reach out to reach the prize of knowledge. To know love.

Chris' prayer: SONICFLOOd's "I Want to Know You (In the Secret)"

In preparing to listen to the each day's song, I start my prayer with something along the lines of "Lord, please help me to hear your voice through this song today. Help me to hear your message clearly. Help me to draw closer to you."

This song echoes that prayer.

I want to hear Your voice.
I want to know You more.

Hearing God's voice has got to be the hardest part of praying. It is easy to thank God for the blessings in my life, and even easier to ask Him for things. It is always hard to hear Him, and even more difficult to listen.

Two and a half weeks into this project, though, the listening is getting easier. The continued prayer of wanting to hear my God is being answered little by little, day by day. In that process, I am coming to know more about Him, and more about myself, too.

My prayer is that it continues in 2009.


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Erinnicole's Prayer: SONICFLOOd's "I Want to Know You (In the Secret)"

In the stillness You are there

Being still is really hard for me for a few reasons. First, and most obvious, i'm really busy. i have school stuff, college stuff, a really crazy work schedule, and then the social life i'd like to have, and the faith life i'm trying to have. So i'm always moving figuratively, even if it's just a list in my mind. Physically, it's very hard for me to be still when i am with people because i'm very aware of things, i always have been. I have to know what is going on around me or i go into a panic attack; like when i listen to music, it can't be that loud, and when i have headphones in i can only have it in one ear so i can still hear out of the other one. and its a struggle for me to close my eyes in groups of people, but i'm growing a lot in my ability to trust God and do that.

there is this song by David Kaufman called "Be Still, My Love". based off of a verse in the Bible that i don't actually know... but anyway, one time this song just started playing in my kitchen when i was home alone and i walked into the kitchen and the cd player was set on an alarm so that's why it was playing...i asked my family but no one had set an alarm. that week had been a stressful week so i took it as God telling me to calm down. then there was a night at steubenville this year stressing the same thing. last night while i prayed i was still for a very long time and it was an incredible prayer and i think God even talked to me. so i will continue to work on stillness.

be safe tonight everyone and have a fantastic new year's eve!

Megan's prayer: Matt Maher's "All Glory to God"

Last night I had the chance to spend the whole evening surrounded by those who care about me. A night full of wonderful food, old family movies, new board games, and lots of laughing. The whole night was just perfect. I felt so loved.

Nights like these serve as a reminder of just how blessed I am. Just how wonderful my life is. Just how perfect things can be when surrounded by family, and by God.

Everyday I know I'm blessed just to know my heart
It rests in his hands that gave me life.

Marie's Prayer: Matt Maher's "All Glory to God"

Whatever is good in me

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I have been so caught up in the holiday's it's insane! I find I'm struggling to see what is good in me. You might find this silly but I find out more about myself when I read books. If a character is struggling with something somehow I can relate to some of it. So I ask God to help me find whatever is good in me.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Matt Maher's "All Glory to God"

I was thrilled by the amount of energy in this song; this is what faith is about! Joy and dancing!

All Glory To God!
I'll Always Be His!

It is so exciting to know that in a relationship on which my entire life depends - the one i have with My Father - can be so full of life and love and excitement, even through the hard times, the joy doesn't have to go away because there is always something to be joyful for.

Chris' prayer: Matt Maher's "All Glory to God"

Maher isn't the first to do this song, and he won't be the last. It is such a simple and wonderful song that I can see this one being done by many Christian artists to come. What I love about his version, however, is the way he sings it.

Maher makes this song one that you can only sing at the top of your lungs, exclaiming (and not just singing) each line. He makes each line of the song something to be excited about. This song is a reminder that our faith is not something pedestrian, something ordinary, something common. Our faith is exactly the opposite. It is exciting. It is extraordinary. It is exceptional.

Everything I say and do, everything I am to You,
Oh, I pray, that you will knoooooooooooow!

All glory to God! All honor is His!
No other is worthy of his name!

All glory to God! I'll always be His!
Forever I'll live to sing his praise!

Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Rich Mullins' "That Where I Am, There You..."

In the world you will have trouble…
The world will show you hatred…

Not the most reassuring or friendly thoughts. A world full of “trouble” and “hatred?” As horrible as it sounds, I believe that it is sometimes true. Because we are not perfect humans, because we make mistakes, because of countless reasons – the world is not a perfect place. Luckily, as the song shows, we still have hope.

…but I leave you my peace.
…the Spirit show you truth.

In this imperfect place, God sends his peace and sends the Spirit to show us truth. He is doing all that he can to make the world better, to make the world a place where we can find love. It’s sad to think of how long it took me to even recognize that, or to think of those who still haven’t recognized that. We are here because of God. We find peace, love, because of God. God is everything.

Chris' prayer: Rich Mullins' "That Where I Am, There You..."

Ah, Rich Mullins. One of my favorite Christian artists and a fascinating man, someone who was always searching for a clearer and clearer truth. That Where I Am, There You... is a fantastic song. This line is my favorite:

If I go prepare a place for you, I will come back again

I love the assurance that the second half of the line provides. I picture a father, crouching down to his child, looking him square in the eyes, holding the child's hands, and repeating until his son or daughter understands. "I will be right back. I'll be right back for you. Okay?" That is the assurance we are getting from our Lord in today's song. The assurance that He'll be back for us, that we have not been abandoned.

The first half of the line has tremendous importance, though. I suppose that God, being God, didn't really have to leave us at all. I'm sure that He could have shaken His hands about, creating the place that was prepared for us while He was right here on Earth. However, that is not how it happened. Instead, we were left while He went to prepare our place in Heaven.

Why, exactly?

I get the feeling that, rather than being "left," we were trusted. Trusted with an unbelievable task: the task of building the Kingdom of God right here on Earth. God could have done all of this Himself, but instead, He chose to trust us to love one another, to spread the good news of the Gospels, to provide compassion and hope to our brothers and sisters.

It's a heavy assignment. Fortunately, He has told us that we won't have to go about it alone forever. He'll be right back for us.


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Erinnicole's Prayer: Rich Mullins' "That Where I Am, There You Are"

Remember you did not choose me, no I have chosen you
The world will show you hatred, the Spirit show you truth

In the first line of this song, when he said "i am going to prepare a place", i immediately thought 'this song is about death' but as he continuing singing, i caught on that it was Jesus speaking and thought to myself, 'how ironic, its actually about The Life!' Having confidence that God chose me gives me great comfort and joy in knowing that someone wants me to belong to them. i like feeling like i belong to someone because it makes me feel found, instead of feeling very lost and alone. The second line backs up my joy because to me, it says ' I know that the world is hard, but you are worth it to Me that I have chosen you so that I may improve your life through my spirit'. that makes me feel so loved! i've been really confident ever since i was little, so seeing my own worth was never a problem for me. but sometimes (like a little bit lately) i feel like other people can't see my worth and that hurts me because i know its there but at times i lose strength and feel like if many people can't see it, maybe it actually isn't. but God telling me through this song that i am worth it to Him means the world to me, that's the only reassurance i need to know that i have value and that i am cared for and loved.