Take my will, conform it
A little less than two weeks ago, I attended a one-day retreat. Most of this retreat was watching a 4 hour movie that was a word for word description of the Gospel of Matthew. The rest of the day was (mostly) praising God through song. This was one of the songs we sang, and it kinda became the theme song for the retreat. The refrain goes “Take my heart and form it, Take my mind, transform it, Take my will, conform it.” After a little bit of singing this song, our worship leader interrupted the singing to have us think about which one of those things we personally needed to work on. Maybe there was just one, maybe two, maybe all three. But we stopped to focus on what God was really calling us to work on and then talk to Him a little bit about that.
I’m sure it’ll come as no surprise, the will one was the one God really wanted me to work on. For some reason, it’s just the one thing I have such difficulty with! I’ve been struggling with it since that retreat (and before actually as well). Last night, I was talking about my walls tumbling and how it hurt. This evening, I tried to start building them again. And then, shortly after, I began listening to tonight’s song. I immediately texted one of my best friends explaining my problem and asking for prayers. I don’t think I always realize right away when I start to try and take back that control. Tonight, I did realize right away. And as much as I dislike giving up this control and giving up my wishes, I’ll do it cause I know it’s what God wants from me. But Jesus, this isn’t all that easy. I mean, I can’t even make it 24 hours! Could you help a sister out?
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