Megan's prayer: Chris Tomlin's "Sing, Sing, Sing"

You are the love that frees us

Life has been pretty crazy recently. It seems that in a lot of ways, things I didn't want to change have started changing, and those areas where I was looking for change have just remained the same.

One area where I would like to see change in my life is my faith. It has seemed for awhile that I am on the verge of some sort of spiritual breakthrough. That I'm on the verge of some amazingly powerful experience that will change my life. The best way to describe what I'm feeling is a silly analogy. I feel that what I am trying to get to is some sort of awesome concert. Some bright, colorful, uplifting, life changing concert. And I know about it, and I know that I am close to it, but right now I'm in the dark halls backstage of the concert. I can hear noise of the concert, but I can't find what door it is to take me there. I try a variety of things, but without any luck.

Recently, though, I've just been distracted from finding that door. I've chosen other things to spend my time doing. Things like work and friends distract me. Poor choices and sin lead me away from the door. Suddenly I'm so far away from the door, I'm not even sure what direction to take to get there. It's easier to just get sucked into these distractions than spend my time searching.

I need reminders like the line tonight. I know that God's love will free me from all of craziness in my life. I know that God's love will help me with the changes in my life, and the love will help me accept those things that aren't changing.

While I have loved this prayer blog and the daily chance to listen to God through prayer, perhaps I need to choose a different door. Perhaps this has become too much of a routine and expectation that it has turned into less of a prayer and more of a distraction.

I'm not sure what the next thing is I will try, but I think that changing things up will help give me a new motivation to truly find ways to feel God's love.

(Perhaps my prayer doesn't make sense tonight. Perhaps that is due to the sickness, tiredness, and the fact I took night time cold medicine. Or, perhaps this is the most honest prayer I have prayed in awhile. I guess I will find out when I wake up tomorrow and reread it.)