Katie's prayer: Falling Up's "Ambience"

Last year was a very trying time in my faith. I felt alone often, in both my life and my spiritual life. I think the problem stemmed from how my roommate and others on my floor treated me. For reasons unknown, they delighted in talking about me behind my back, ignoring me when I was around, messing with my stuff and so on. I prayed for the year to end and end quickly. I prayed that they would change, they would realize how horrible they were being, and they would stop. My big summer project was learning to forgive those girls for everything they had done to me. The main reason behind my urgency in forgiving them was because I believed one of them, my roommate, would die from brain cancer over the summer.

Away from these girls, it was easier to get back into my faith life, and with that extra boost of faith, I was able to forgive them. The hurt they caused returned when I got back to school and found out my roommate was a pathological liar. Among many other lies, the biggest - she never had brain cancer. It has been very hard for me to move on past this. The anger and resentment I felt towards them, particularly my roommate, resurfaced. In my mind, I took back my forgiveness. And in all honesty, I still hold on to some of that. But I feel, as I have for a while that I "MUST move on."

It's finally time to completely forgive them for everything, all the hurt and loneliness they made me to feel and for all the lies that were told. Holding onto a grudge is only going to hurt me and definitely not what God wants for me.