Jen's prayer: Falling Up's "Ambience"

The first thing I noticed about this song was the title: Ambience. First of all, I spell it ambiance and got confused by its spelling, so I had to look up the definition to see if there's a difference. There isn't. The definition caught my eye, though: "ambience is a particular environment or surrounding influence." In college I had a surrounding influence that was not positive and it dragged me down. I allowed the surrounding people to influence me and make me believe I would be happier if I was more like the world. I have never abandoned my faith as much as I did my senior year of college. I found that the more I withdrew from God, the worse things got for me. It was a learning experience and I've grown from it, but this song reminds me of what it was like then. Especially this part:

So I stand, all alone
With no chance, on my own
Will I just sustain, moving on in vain?
Cause this glow, you and I
Have come to know, is a lie
And we must move on

Being raised a Christian and then falling away from Christ is one of the scariest things I've experienced. I was alone with "no chance on my own." The question was, was I going to be too vain and prideful to admit to Jesus that I messed up and needed Him? I'm a very prideful person and hate to admit mistakes and somehow admitting to Jesus that I had severely screwed up and could not do things alone was one of the most difficult things ever. However, just like this song says, "we must move on." I had to move on, out of that ambience at school and back into Jesus' arms. I am so thankful for Jesus' intricate love that accepted me again and loves me even more than I can imagine.