Katie's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Just the way I am"

Not when I’m good enough
Not when I clean my act up
Not when I cross that line the thousandth time
And become a better man
Your grace is more than enough
To cover all my sins You washed them away
So right here today
You love me just the way I am

I feel like sometimes I focus too much on on how unworthy I am, on my sinfulness, and on my need to somehow figure something out about myself or put myself in a better situation before I meet God in my life. And this is what's holding me back from him so much. Today's song reminds me that I don't need to fix myself to come before God. God loves me just the way I am! He wants me to come to him, no matter what. He doesn't want me to sin, but he still loves me even when I do.

Chris' prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Just the Way I Am"

You love me, You love me
You love me just the way I am

I'm not sure I could every possibly hear this message enough. In a culture where we learn that love has to be earned, and that we are only worth what we have done for people, the repetition in the refrain drills into my head that I am loved. I am loved not for what I've done, and, in fact, often times in spite of what I've done.

I need the constant reminder that there is nothing I could possibly do to make my Father love me any less. And, despite how I act other times, there is nothing I could possibly do to make Him love me more. He is holy, and His love is perfect.


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Megan's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Just the Way I Am"

You love in spite of everything I do.

I try. I really do try to live a life that my God would be proud of. I try to show his love to every person I meet, but sometimes I make mistakes. Yet, in the end, God still loves me. No matter what happens, he loves me.

Knowing of this perfect love, this constant forgiveness, sometimes makes it harder to constantly choose the right path. Sometimes I fall and follow the "act now, ask for forgiveness later" style.

I pray that God will help me to choose the right path, the road that continues to lead me to Him.

Megan's prayer: Matt Maher's "You are the Lord"

Given into a world of lies.

Too many people have given into the lie that love = sex; and sex = happiness. Too many people think that this is the only way of life.

The prayer that is on my heart tonight is that God can show these people what true love really is; what love can do.

Chris' prayer: Matt Maher's "You are the Lord"

You gave me a title,
although I didn't know You

I always find it interesting when someone knows of me or knows who I am, but I don't know the person. It gets my mind moving and I think, "How do they know me? Have I met them before and just don't remember them? Do they know me through church, or work, or perhaps another friend? What do they know about me? Is it good stuff? What are they saying about me? What title have they given me?"

In this case, the answers to those questions are:
1.) He made me
2.) Yes, in a way
3.) Hopefully through all three
4.) Everything
5.) Some of it
6.) That He loves me
7.) "Son"


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Katie's prayer: Matt Maher's "You are the Lord"

The lame shall walk,
and the blind will see
I know You want my heart.

There is a program in our diocese called Totus Tuus, it's kinda like vacation bible school, only cooler. There's a program for 1-6 grade in the day, and 7-12 grade at night. This week, it has been at St. Gabriel's, a parish I sometimes attend and help with lifeteen. So I knew the teens, I knew the Totus Tuus team cause I helped with their training weekend. So I went out there a few days to help out. Totally fun, and totally reminds me of Covecrest. But anyways, on to the point for this post... (:

Tuesday night, there was a confession talk followed by adoration/confession. In this talk, Becca mentioned that when Jesus was around, he would heal people spiritually as well as physically. He would cure their illness (lame, blind, whatever) but he would also say, "your sins are forgiven, go and sin no more." So he healed their sins as well. How cool! Then there was more awesome things said about confession.

Confession is one of those things I've always had trouble with. I never liked it. (well, who really likes it?!) ok, so I hated it! I don't say hate about many things, but it fits here. I've gotten better about going, even when there's no one there to push me. But I still don't go as often as I should (cause I'm a big sinner, we all are). I actually didn't go Tuesday night. In my mind I was thinking I needed that one on one time with Jesus in adoration more, and this Sunday we're going to this mass/adoration/confession/procession thing, and I could go then. But I was reading today this thing is open to both diocese, and advertised in the Catholic Key, so I might not even get to go cause there will be so many people. Right now, I'm kinda wishing I went on Tuesday, I want to "walk" and "see" again. And more importantly, that's what God wants for me too. I just pray there will be enough priests.

Megan's prayer: MercyMe's "Homesick"

I've never been more homesick than now.

One lonely night, while attending school at University of Dayton, I found myself extremely homesick. While I was homesick quite often, this particular evening was one of the worst. My friends and roommates weren't around, and there was no one available online to distract me.

As I sat at my computer, reading all of the away messages of my AIM friends, who all seemed to have more exciting lives than I did at that moment, I ran across this song. I don't remember if it was just the name, or if it was some of the lyrics... but I instantly YouTubed it. I fell in love with the song. That night alone, I probably listened to it a dozen times, followed by countless times throughout the next semesters at Dayton.

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow.

This became my prayer. I prayed for strength to get me through my homesickness. I prayed for strength to see the good that was coming out of being away from home. I prayed that, at some point, I would view Dayton as my home.

Dayton never became my home. What God did provide me was the strength to make the decision to finally come back home to St. Louis. This song, and that prayer in particular, helped me be less homesick.

While I'm not homesick anymore, hearing this song reminds me of just how wonderful God is, and how although he may not answer the prayers the way I *think* he should, he knows what is best for me.

Chris' prayer: MercyMe's "Homesick"

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I miss you, Mom. Especially now.


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Katie's prayer: MercyMe's "Homesick"

I love this song! It's in the top 25 of the most songs played on my itunes. (And after listening to it non-stop for a while for this, I'm sure it will be moving up.) The one line that ALWAYS sticks out to me, every time I hear it, is:

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same

I'm always trying to figure God out and trying to figure out God's plan for my life. Sometimes I wish it would be really easy, and we'd just get this book telling us roughly what's going to happen. I want to know! But then I begin to wonder, would knowing what's going to happen make it any less emotional? Would the knowledge that this person's going to break up with me make the pain any less? Would the knowledge that I'm going to get this job make the joy any more? Probably not. So then what's the point of finding out everything now? Satisfying my own curiosity? That will happen with time, and like I was talking about yesterday, sometimes unexpected is good.

Jen's prayer: Mercy Me's "Homesick"

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways

This is a sweet song about being homesick for heaven. I know I especially feel like this when things on this earth just don't make since. As believers, we are called to not be of this world. And when we try to follow God and not be like this world, that's when I get confused. Lately I've been praying that God gives me clarity on what HE wants for me, because I certainly am not understanding things on my own.

Megan's prayer: John David Webster's "Miracle"

I hear you in the sound of the ocean's tide.

I love taking vacations with my family to the beach. A week of relaxing, spending time with my family, and not really worrying about anything.

One of my favorite things to do is sit out on the balcony at night, and listen to the waves. It's so wonderfully relaxing, and it's very sobering because I realize just how big the world is around me. I enjoy taking that time to think about my life, and how each day really is a miracle.

I'm in need of this again. I need to re-realize (is that a word?) just how big God is... and just how much of a miracle each day is.

Katie's prayer: John David Webster's "Miracle"

Sometimes, things are not what you expect.

I knew my day would be completely full, there would be almost no time to even listen to the song, much less, pray it. The only time I had was an hour in my car, split into two segments, one segment at 7am, the second at 10pm. I decided I would read the lyrics before heading off this morning, since reading lyrics and driving at the same time, not a good idea. I read through the lyrics a few times and pray them a little, already forming a prayer in my head, without even listening to the song.

So I get in my car, hook up my ipod to play nothing but today's song for my morning journey. Thoughts start going through my head about the song, "Hey, I like this beat, it's nice. Nice vocal range, something I might be able to sing along to easily. Nice lyrics too. Wait a second, I don't remember reading that." I get to a stop sign, pull out my ipod and sure enough, the lyrics I'm reading are NOT the lyrics being sung! Completely unexpected.

Such is life for me right now. As much as I'd love to blog about the lyrics of today's song cause they are amazing, I think my prayer for today is really the unexpectedness I'm facing right now. Within the past week, I've realized a few things about my life. And I re-realized them tonight at adoration. There are a select few things in my life that did not and are not going to turn out like I expected. I'm still having a little bit of trouble with that. But I hope and I pray, that this life unexpectedness is like the unexpectedness from this morning, changing my life for the better. While a little surprising to begin with, it was better the lyrics I read were not the lyrics sung. I prayed two songs today, a day when I thought I'd have time for none. My life is better because of that unexpectedness.

Chris' prayer: John David Webster's "Miracle"

And then it takes my breath away

I'm ready for this. I'm ready to see God's miracle in my life. I want to see His presence in the sun, the water, the wind. I want to be overwhelmed by His Love for me, because it has been too long. I'm here, Lord, and I'm asking you to take my breath away.


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Megan's prayer: Jill Phillips' "I am"

I am peace that shatters all your secret fears

I enjoy joking and being sarcastic 92% of the time. I was the class clown in grade school, and even though I became a little more shy in high school and college, it's still pretty clear to everyone that I enjoy joking around.

The 8% of the time that I don't enjoy it is when I want to have a meaningful conversation with someone. Because I'm joking around so often, it's hard to sit down and be serious. Sometimes I used the joking to cover up my fears.

Attending life teen during high school helped me with this problem. I didn't know most of the people in the group, so I had a chance to be something other than just a "jokester" with them. At life nights, I felt peaceful. I found myself able to have deep conversations, where I shared my fears, with people that I didn't know all that well.

I pray, tonight, that God continues to give me that peace that allows me to talk about my fears with others. I pray that when others look at me, they see more than just my sarcasm and my jokes, but also see God's love and peace.

Chris' prayer: Jill Phillips' "I Am"

When I was younger, my dad said to me and my sisters, "You are all closer to your mother than you are to me," and, if I'm being honest, it is probably true. While I was growing up, Dad was the bread winner. While he didn't work a ton of hours, the hours he did work were strange enough that he was in bed early, and out the door before we'd even dreamed of awaking. My mother, meanwhile, reared me and my sisters. She poured the milk in our cereal, packed our lunches, picked us up from school, and cooked dinner. These two different roles that my parents played pretty much assured that we would be closer to her than we were to him. The price of putting food on the table for his family, I suppose.

I'm not sure I have ever pictured God as a mother, but that is precisely the image this song is evoking in me, not only because of the line directly comparing God to a mother, but because the whole song feels like a lullaby, sung by a mother to her child. The softness of the lyrics, and the softness of Phillips' voice, along with the pace of the song remind me so much of my mother's demeanor: constant, near, peaceful, wise.


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Jen's prayer: Jill Philips' "I am"

This morning I was having somewhat of an emotional breakdown. I wasn't quite sure what to do so I decided to see what today's song was. What a comfort to read those lyrics:

I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
Your heart's desires

Oh weary, tired and worn,
Let out your sighs
And drop that heavy load you hold
Cause Mine is light

It is so good to know that Jesus is there for me. He knows my heart's desires. He isn't ignoring what I want...He just knows better than I do on what I truly need. I am learning a lot right now about patience and waiting. I have a lot of unknowns in my life and I'm learning how to walk by faith, not by sight. It's scary, but I am glad Jesus is the peace that shatters all my fears.

Katie's prayer: Jill Phillips' "I am"

Drop that heavy load you hold 'cause Mine is light.

Today's song (well, really this line) reminded me of a story I recently read in the book Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver. It's kinda a long story, but I have to put it here so y'all might understand fully my prayer for today. Plus it's a great story. (I'll try to cut it down some) (:

The story is told of a man who met God in a lovely valley one day. "How are you this morning?" God asked the fellow. "I'm fine, thank you." the man replied. "Is there anything I can do for you today?" "Yes there is," God said. "I have a wagon with three stones in it, and I need someone to pull it up the hill for me. Are you willing?" "Yes, I'd love to do something for you. Those stones don't look very heavy, and the wagon's in good shape. I'd be happy to do that. Where would you like me to take it?" God gave the man specific instructions, sketching a map in the dust at the side of the road. "Go through the woods and up the road that winds up the side of the hill. Once you get to the top, just leave the wagon there. Thank you for your willingness to help me today." "No problem!" the man replied and set off cheerfully.

The wagon pulled a big behind him, but the burden was an easy one. He began to whistle as he walked quickly through the forest. The sun peeked through the trees and warmed his back. What a joy to be able to help the Lord, he thought, enjoying the beautiful day. Just around the third bed, he walked into a small village. People smiled and greeted him. Then, at the last house, a man stopped him and asked, "How are you this morning? What a nice wagon you have. Where are you off to?" "Well, God gave me a job this morning. I'm delivering these three stones to the top of the hill." "My goodness! Can you believe it? I was just praying this morning about how I was going to get this rock I have up to the top of the mountain," the man told him with great excitement. "You don't suppose you could take it up there for me? It would be such an answer to prayer." The man with the wagon smiled and said, "Of course. I don't supposed God would mind. Just put it behind the other three stones." Then he set off with three stones and a rock rolling behind him.

The wagon seemed a bit heavier. He could feel the jolt of each bump, and the wagon seemed to pull to one side a bit. The man stopped to adjust the load as he sang a hymn of praise, pleased to be helping out a brother as he served God. Then he set off again and soon reached another small village at the side of the road. A good friend lived there and offered him a glass of cider. "You're going to the top of the hill?" his oldest friend asked. "Yes! I am so excited. Can you imagine, God gave me something to do!" "Hey!" said his friend. "I need this bag of pebbles taken up. I've been so worried that it might not get taken care of since I haven't any time to do it myself. But you could fit it in right between the three stones here in the middle." With that, he placed his burden in the wagon. "Shouldn't be a problem" the man said. "I think I can handle it." He finished the cider, then stood up and brushed his hands on his overalls before gripping the handle of the wagon. He waved good-bye and began to pull the wagon back onto the road.

The wagon was definitely tugging on his arm now, but it wasn't uncomfortable. As he started up the incline, he began to to feel the weight of the three stones, the rock, and the pebbles. Still, it felt good to help a friend. Surely God would be proud of how energetic and helpful he'd been. One little stop followed another, and the wagon grew fuller and fuller. The sun was hot above the man pulling it, and his shoulders ached with the strain. The songs of praise and thanksgiving that had filled his heard had long since left his lips as resentment began to build inside. Surely this wasn't what he had signed up for that morning. God had given him a burden heavier than he could bear.

The wagon felt huge and awkward as it lumbered and swayed over the ruts in the road. Frustrated, the man was beginning to have visions of giving up and letting the wagon roll backward. God was playing a cruel game with him. The wagon lurched, and the load of obligations collided with the back of his legs leaving bruises. "This is it!" he fumed. "God can't expect me to haul this all the way up the mountain." "Oh God," he wailed."This is too hard for me! I though you were behind this trip, but I am overcome by the heaviness of it. You'll have to get someone else to do it. I'm just not strong enough."

As he prayed, God came to his side. "Sounds like you're having a hard time. What's the problem?" "You gave me a job that is too hard for me," the man sobbed."I'm just not up to it! God walked over to where the wagon was braced with a stone. "What is this?" He held up the bag of pebbles. "That belongs to John, my good friend. He didn't have time to bring it up himself. I thought I would help."

{God unloads the wagon....}

"If you will be content to let others take their own burdens," God told him, "I will help you with your task." "But I promised I would help! I can't leave these things lying here." "Let others shoulder their own belongings," God said gently. "I know you were trying to help, but when you are weighted down with all these cares, you cannot do what I have asked of you." The man jumped to his feet, suddenly realizing the freedom God was offering. "You mean I only have to take the three stones after all?" he asked. "That is what I asked you to do." God smiled. "My yoke is easy, and my burden is light. I will never ask you to carry more than you can bear."

I feel like I'm a lot like this man often. I mean, just yesterday, the Totus Tuus team told me of two things they needed - copies of night prayer and yarn in various colors - I immediately thought I'd be the one to make the copies, buy the yarn, and drive a half hour one-way to deliver these items to the team, in addition to the other tasks already on my plate for today. I easily become a control freak and think if I don't do it, it won't get done properly, it won't be done in the best way, it might not even get done at all, so I have to do it! Do it all! I think God's trying to send me a subtle message with that story and today's song that I don't have to do it all. It is possible to say no. (:

Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "I'm Alright"

I'm alright...

I say this so often. When I'm having a bad day, I'll tell others "I'm alright." When I'm having a great day, I'll tell others "I'm alright." I don't know why I'm so secretive. It's like I'm either trying to hold in the bad so that I don't bring others down, or I'm trying to keep all of my happiness for myself cause I'm too selfish to share it.

I think God just wants us to be honest with him. He knows it all anyways. But being able to pray to God, to really tell him what's going on, to fight with him, or just share my pure joy with him... Being myself, 100%, is what will help me grow to have a deeper relationship with my God.

Jen's prayer: Jars of Clay's "I'm alright"

And I can't see the view from the eyes you look at me through

Which is unfortunate, because I'd really like to be able to see through God's eyes right now. I'm not alright. I need some clarity on what God is wanting in my life right now. And that is simply my prayer tonight:

Let me see through your eyes, Father. Give me clarity.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "I'm Alright"

I've never been the saint you wanted me to turn to

One of the things I struggle with the most as a youth minister is when teens don't buy into what is going on, when they don't invest themselves into the event or activity. The other night, for instance, we were having open gym and playing dodgeball when some of the upperclassmen decided that goofing off and playing dodgeball was beneath them. In fact, they would rather not even be there than sit and watch what was going on, leaving me and the underclassmen. As they left, one of them looked at me, and gave me this glance that said, "Heh. Have fun with whatever that is, going on over there." They wanted no part of it.

It bothers me because buying into what is going on is so important for the benefit of everyone. If these upperclassmen think it is okay to be too good for an activity, then they are showing tomorrow's upperclassmen that they can be, too. But if everyone buys into what we're doing, we can all have fun.

It is these times when I have to remind myself that these teens are who they are. They aren't who I want them to be, or who I expect them to be, or who I'd like them to be. They are who they are and they will do the things they do. Sometimes, their choices may disappoint me, but they are their choices, and sometimes they aren't going to make the mature, responsible, good-for-everyone choice.

And I can't see the view from the eyes you look at me through

And once I'm able to remind myself that they are who they are- that is, that they are a child of God- I can get back to loving them for who they are. I can return to looking at them through the eyes of Jesus, who loves them without fail.


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