Megan's prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "I'm Alive"

It must be something bigger that makes me feel like I do

I've recently become addicted to Stumble Upon. It takes me to random websites based on the interests I initially chose. Two of my interests included "photography" and "astronomy." What I end up with is lots of pictures of space. I'm absolutely amazed by space.

The countless number of stars. The idea of "lightyears" away. I can't comprehend just how big it is. When I look up at the stars at night, I feel so small, so insignificant. But then I think of my faith, think of the importance of my life, and I no longer feel so small.

God is so much bigger than I am - than space is. He gives us meaning. In a universe so huge, with billions of people on this one planet, he makes me feel worthwhile.

Chris' prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "I'm Alive"

…that feeling must have been a mistake.

I wish that I could bottle up all the wonderful feelings I've felt from being on retreats, attending conferences, experiencing Adoration, participating in Mass, sharing my faith with someone, and feeling God's work in my life. Despite the many experiences, the feeling that results always leaves me too quickly, leaving a hole in its wake, causing me to sometimes wonder if I ever experienced that feeling in the first place. I wish I could take out those feelings whenever needed and relive them. God's Love on tap...or something like that.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "I'm Alive"

Last week, I blogged about my newest prayer being "God, break me so all that's left of me is you" "God, I'm giving it all to you, whatever you want is what I want." For the first time, when I said those last week, I really meant it. Everyday since, I have prayed that to remind me to be open and listening and willing to follow the Father's will. There was a song that ended adoration tonight at XLT that went perfect with that. "I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now, do what you will."

It's been my prayer for almost a week now, and although I still don't know exactly what the Father's plan is, I'm still not positive on what he wants for my life, I don't know what's going to happen, I still have so much peace about the future. Just the knowledge that it's all in God's hands, I don't have to worry about it, God will tell me somehow how he wants things to go. And all I had to do to get this peace was to just let go. Let go of all those things, those stupid things, that I think I can do better and plan better than Jesus. I wish I had done so a lot sooner.

I'm alive
the moment I let go
brought passion to my soul
I'm alive
my hearts been rearranged
and never be the same
I'm alive

Jen's prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "I'm alive"

It must be something bigger that makes me feel like I do

I've often wondered how people can claim there's no God. There are so many moments in my life where I think, "There's gotta be something bigger in my life that makes me feel like this." Having that sense of peace during trying times or the joy I experience when I reach out to God...it's amazing. It makes me feel ALIVE.

I love this song, by the way.

Chris' prayer: Tree63's "Blessed Be Your Name"

I have sung this song at Mass or adoration or praise & worship or in my car or in the shower or wherever else hundreds of times. I have heard it far more often than that. I really enjoy this song and other songs like it- songs that stress the importance of praising God in the good times and in the bad, in turning to Him for all things and during all things, to see us through all things. In fact, I even made a playlist in iTunes of all such songs I have.

I think often times it is harder for me to pick out something specific about a song I know so well, to hear the line or the word that God is placing on my heart. Tonight, however, I think it is clear what the message, at least for me, is. Tonight, God wants me to know that, praise Him or not, pray to Him or not, speak of Him or not, it is my choice. Everything I do, every action I consider or take, requires a conscious effort, it requires a choice. I can choose to praise Him only when things are going well, or I can choose to praise Him always. I can choose to pray to Him only when I need something, or I can choose to pray to Him constantly, with everything I do. I can choose to speak of Him only in my small Christian circles, or I can choose to speak of Him to everyone I come in contact with. Knowing that,

My heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be Your name.

YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Tree 63's "Blessed Be Your Name"

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering

I watched the movie "I Am Sam" tonight. Although I've seen it before, it never hit me so hard as it did tonight. The father goes through so much suffering, yet all he wants is to be there for his daughter - for her to have a wonderful life.

I feel like our Heavenly Father does the same for me. Jesus went through a road marked with suffering, but it was all for me. It was so that I could have a wonderful life.

Blessed be Your name!!

Jen's prayer: Tree 63's "Blessed be Your name"

You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

You know, it's pretty hard sometimes to continue to praise and bless the name of the Lord when He takes away certain things. We sing this song in church a lot and it's interesting to sing it in different stages of my life. Sometimes I can relate to the lyrics of all the blessings God has given me so of course I want to sing praise and bless His name. Then there are other times, like now, where I feel like God is taking away certain things I want to hold onto. But I know that Jesus is all I need. No matter what God gives or takes in my life, I pray my heart will still bless His name.

Katie's prayer: Tree 63's "Blessed Be Your Name"

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Today's song reminded me of a blog I wrote a little over a year ago. I think it applies so well, that I just copied and pasted it for today. But no worries, it's something I constantly struggle with, and through this song have been reminded to try harder.

So I saw the cutest thing at church this past Sunday. There was a mom with her (about) 5 year old boy sitting in front of me. The boy was trying to place a piece of paper in the song book to mark where the next song would be. It wasn't going so well. His mom reaches over to hold the paper while he closed the book. Helping him with something so (in my mind) insignificant. He obviously thought it was significant because he immediately jumped right up and gave her a hug. Not a little hug either. It was a "without you, I'll die, so I'm going to cling really tightly" kind of hug. It didn't last very long, then he went back to doing whatever. Throughout the rest of mass, he kept reaching over at random times to give her "without you, I'll die, so I'm going to cling really tightly" hugs. Even though it seemed as if there was nothing to be thankful for.

Now, you may just see a little kid's love for his mother, but I saw something deeper. And it was Chris' comment about how on cletus youth, the prayer request topic was 5 times as big as the thankfulness prayer topic! I'm sure it's not just on there that our prayer REQUESTS way outnumber our prayers of THANKFULNESS. In that little kid, I saw how we should really be treating our Heavenly Father. Constantly THANKING Him, even if, at times, it seems as if there's nothing to be thankful for.

Since Chris' post, I've tried to come up with something everyday to be thankful for. From things like "Thank you God for the beautiful weather" to "Thank you God for the experience I had during adoration" even to "Thank you God for my struggles, for they help bring me back to You" and "Thank you God for not answering my prayers the way I wanted them answered, for I can see now, the way I wanted was not the best way."

I challenge you: Increase those prayers of thankfulness, even if it seems as if there's nothing to be thankful for.

My prayer of thankfulness today: Dear God, thank you! Thank you for this past weekend, it's exactly what I needed! Thank you for all the wonderful Totus Tuus teachers you sent our way this summer. Thank you for helping me realize I need to get back to praying the Liturgy of the Hours. Thank you for those emails from those two parishes. Thank you for helping me to realize there may be more than one option out there for me for next year. Thank you for the amazing people I spent time with at camp, and thank you for helping me think about them, and thus think about camp, often. Thank you for the rain to help the grass grow. Thank you for the job I currently have, even though it is part time, I love it. Dear God, thank you!

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "This Time"

One of the most spiritually moving experiences I've ever had was walking someone through the process of becoming Catholic. A good friend of mine had decided that the Catholic Church was where he felt at home, and decided to be Confirmed in the Church. He asked me to be his Sponsor, and what followed was four or five months of growing together. We would read the same books and discuss their merits, what we liked about the books, and what we struggled with. We talked to each other about our personal struggles and worked with each other to try to surpass those downfalls. We learned all about the Church together.

It is because of this experience that I absolutely love attending the Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday, despite being three hours long. Knowing what leads up to that moment for those preparing to enter the Church has given me a great respect and reverence for this holy service.

Sadly, this experience is also one of my most disappointing. Almost immediately after being confirmed, my friend seemed to abandon his faith life. Gone were the books we shared, the talks, the growing, the learning, everything. It was like once the process was finished, so was he. It is something that, to this day, I struggle to get past. A part of me aches, a part of me still hurts in a very real way.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure exactly how to go about moving past it. I would like to, and I've tried. But the disappointment that I felt– that I feel– still grips me tightly. I wish I could just let it go; I wish I could just walk away.



iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Kutless' " This Time"

You were the one that I looked to
I never thought I'd see you run
I never thought I'd see you turn your back on all you
knew what right

I think one of the hardest things in life is to have one of your role models make a mistake, do something that is out of character, and just seems wrong. Having built up this person in your mind to be almost perfect, and then having that image destroyed.

Maybe even worse is to be the one who makes the mistake, who turns and runs from God, even though others are looking up to me.

Instead of looking at others as the perfect role model, we must see they also make mistakes, that they too are human. Only God is the perfect role model.

Katie's prayer: Kutless' "This Time"

I feel like God sings this song to me a lot. Why'd you turn away? Why'd you run? Run til this point of breaking? I feel like it could also be a song that I sing to myself, asking myself "Hey stupid, why'd you run away?" Every time I come back I tell myself, no not this time, it's going to last for good this time, I'm not going to run away this time. Things are going to be different. But then something happens that pushes me back and it's hard to get back on track, back to where God wants me, back to where I was before I was pushed back. Sometimes it gets so hard that I do run away.
There is a constant push and pull in my faith life, but this time, THIS TIME is different. I'm going to stay for good this time God. I know I've said it before, but this time it's really really really real! The reason is this blog! I can't run away from you if I have this commitment to You (and Chris). (: There is no running away, not even walking away, this time. I won't allow it.

I see you're back again
You'll never run again
This time
No walking away
No walking away

Megan's prayer: MercyMe's "On My Way to You"

Almost there, almost where I'm supposed to be.

I've never actually made it to a point in my faith life where I was 100% satisfied. I may be happy where I'm at, but I'm always knowing there is more. I know that I'm not quite where I'm supposed to be.

I think this is a blessing - for God to show me how great my faith is, and how important it is - and yet still not let me have 100%. If I were to be exactly where I'm supposed to be, I'm afraid I'd stop pursuing more. And it's in the pursuing that I grow so much.

Katie's prayer: MercyMe's "On My Way to You"

Almost there, almost where I'm supposed to be
It's not all clear, but you keep showing me
With every step, the more my heart moves to your beat
Just like where I'm headed, there's joy in the journey

I've had my times of frustration with God about this whole I want to be a Youth Minister thing. I did my discernment, I figured it all out, God I know what you want me to do with my life! Things are great! Why don't I have a job? Why haven't I been called about interviews? They're not doing the interviews until June? Why so late? Why do I have to wait more and more and more? I'm so close to where I'm supposed to be! Why is it taking so long to get there?

As I was at a low ropes course today with a bunch of youth ministers, I realized I still have a little more to learn. I still have some information to gather from those around me. Some lifenights to go to where I can pay a little more attention to not just what's going on, but also what the youth minister does. A little more time to get more comfortable with the role I want to play. And although I haven't looked at it quite like this in the past, I realized today as I was out there, it's a blessing I had this waiting time. There really is joy in the journey, I just didn't see it before because I was so impatient.

Chris' prayer: MercyMe's "On My Way to You"

One of the things I like best about this song, and something I find myself appreciating more and more each time I listen to it, is the pace of this song. There is something about the tempo of the song that just feels so right, especially for the message. It feels like it is both pulling the listener ahead and restraining him or her. The song is not too fast, but not too slow. It is not too loud, but yet not too soft. Like the story of Goldilocks, this is the baby bear- just right.

It is a great reminder that we are in the middle of a journey. If we sprint it, we will soon grow weary. If we dawdle, we will get distracted. This song, and our spirituality is about maintaining a certain pace, a pace that will have us leaning ever so slightly forward, bringing about the next step, and bringing with it a momentum that carries us through the times where we feel like the journey is all uphill. One single step after another, I'm on my way to You.


iTunes | Lyrics

Jen's prayer: Mercy Me's "On My Way to You"

It's a little difficult to pin point just a few lyrics from this song. I copied the entire song because I thought, "YES. This ENTIRE song is my prayer to God right now."

I'm on my way to God and with every step I pray my heart moves closer to God's beat. I want him to teach me what He thinks, I want a purer heart, and I want there to be joy in this journey.

I know God has this vision for me and that slowly but surely I am making my way there, but I am only capable with His strength.

So since the whole song captures entirely the essence of my heart right now, I'm just gonna paste most of the song below:

Almost there, almost where I'm supposed to be
It's not all clear, but you keep showing me
With every step, the more my heart moves to your beat
Just like where I'm headed, there's joy in the journey

Teach me to think like you think
Show me the things that are true [ohh]
Finish the work you have started in me
As I'm on my way to you
As I'm on my way to you

Create in me a pure heart and make me new
Less of me, Jesus more of you
Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees
It's not my strength, but Your's that carries me

Teach me to think like to you think
Show me the things that are true
Finish the work you have started in me
As I'm on my way to you
As I'm on my way to you
Yes I'm on my way to you

Megan's prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a Lifetime"

And you show me how to grow
Through the change

One of the biggest changes of my life was going through a break up in college. I was in a serious relationship one day, and single the next day. I wasn't quite sure how to handle that change - I didn't know who to turn to, or really what to do with my life. Everything that had made sense was suddenly gone - my world was flipped, and I was scared.

I really didn't think I'd ever be happy again. I thought that was the end - I had missed my chance. Luckily, in those hard times, I turned to God. My relationship with him grew stronger everyday, and I could finally begin to see what was important in life. I had definitely changed. I understood that relationships aren't everything. I realized it was important to turn to God - to have him help me through the rough times.

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a Lifetime"

I cannot concentrate at all tonight. My mind is all over the place and just will not settle down to pray this evening. I've restarted the song multiple times, always finding myself distracted before it ends. They aren't even important thoughts running through my mind; it is all just random unrelated musings. I wish that I could just turn it all off so that I can speak with my God, but it appears as if that isn't going to happen tonight.

It is times like this that I am thankful that I know You’re always there to my every prayer inside, even when I can't get it out.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a Lifetime"

During today's song, I was reminded of a talk I heard a few months back by Mark Hart at the FOCUS conference. It's without a doubt, one of the best talks I've EVER heard. Below is the little exerpt that I was reminded of...

"Now this is the most dangerous prayer you can ever pray, and I challenge you, if you really feel like having your life wrecked. I mean YOUR LIFE wrecked so that as St. Paul says in the Galatians, so Christ's life could really come through you, you should pray that God would ruin your life. That's like the greatest prayer ever. 'God ruin my life so that all that is left of me is what's of you.' And if you really want to have a great prayer, pray 'God, I give you permission, PERMISSION, whole-hearted surrendering abandoning permission to remove anything in my life that's keeping me from sainthood. Lord God, here you go! Take it! Break it! I don't care.' That's a dangerous prayer. I started praying that, oh it hurts, but it's a beautiful kind of hurt." -Mark Hart

I remember thinking when I heard that, "that's a great prayer, great idea Mark, but I'm just not ready for that right now." I actually have this talk in my itunes, and have listened to it at least a dozen times since the conference. And every time I hear that part I think, "no, not right now" "it's not the right time" "I don't want my life ruined, I like how it's going" "I like my plan for my life, I don't want God to ruin that plan." All great examples of the STUPIDEST EXCUSE EVER! I mean, come on Katie, you're not ready to give God permission to help you follow his PERFECT plan for your life? You don't think it's the right time to give everything completly to God? You really think the life you have now is better than anything God could help you achieve by removing those things in your life that aren't that great? Seriously! That's stupid! But even though I realize that, I'm still sitting here thinking I'm not ready, it's not time, I like the way things are going, I like the plan I have for my life, I'm not ready for what God could have planned for me. I want so badly to have God ruin my life to make it better, make it into what He wants for me, but at the same time, I'm so afraid of what that might be.

God, will you help me fall apart? Help me to realize how much I need You to ruin my life? Take me into your arms and help me realize what you have planned is much better than anything I could ever plan? Help me find my way back to you? Show me how to grow through the changes you will make in my life? God, will you ruin my life and my plans so all that's left is You and what You want for me?

Will you help me fall apart
Pick me up, take me in your arms
Find my way back from the storm
And you show me how to grow
Through the change

Jen's prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a lifetime"

And you show me how to grow
Through the change

This is a beautiful song about how God is always there for us. It's a great reminder that he's with us in the pain and trials and will never leave. Something that struck me, though, is how I also need him through this growing period in my life. I feel like I'm going to be facing a lot of changes soon and I want God there with me as I grow and change. As I spend time with God these next few days, I think my prayer is thanking him that He is with me through this growth and change.

Catie's prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a Lifetime"

Putting my understanding aside

I find myself constantly having to do this with God. We can never fully understand God, we can never fully understand why He does the things He does, anything. Sometimes, I'm perfectly okay with that. Other times, it scares me to death. It took over two months for a daycare center I applied to over Christmas break to get back to me. In that time, I had decided to apply to the Totus Tuus job to teach Catechist. I was talking to my roommate about it, because it was just very stressful when it came to hearing back from all of them and which diocese I wanted to be in and whatnot. And at one point I told her, had the daycre called me back within a reasonable time, I would have just taken the job, stayed home for the summer and that would have been that. Instead, I decided to apply for this other job, did interviews with different diocese, and was very stressed about it. Laura, my roommate, told me that if God wanted me with Totus Tuus this summer, that was his way of getting me there, by not having the daycare back so soon since I would had taken it and not thought twice about doing Totus Tuus. Sometimes, in order to better do God's will we have to do that though. We have to put our own understanding, thoughts, plans aside in order to let God come in and let God do what God does best. It is only then that we can best do God's will for our lives.