Katie's prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a Lifetime"

During today's song, I was reminded of a talk I heard a few months back by Mark Hart at the FOCUS conference. It's without a doubt, one of the best talks I've EVER heard. Below is the little exerpt that I was reminded of...

"Now this is the most dangerous prayer you can ever pray, and I challenge you, if you really feel like having your life wrecked. I mean YOUR LIFE wrecked so that as St. Paul says in the Galatians, so Christ's life could really come through you, you should pray that God would ruin your life. That's like the greatest prayer ever. 'God ruin my life so that all that is left of me is what's of you.' And if you really want to have a great prayer, pray 'God, I give you permission, PERMISSION, whole-hearted surrendering abandoning permission to remove anything in my life that's keeping me from sainthood. Lord God, here you go! Take it! Break it! I don't care.' That's a dangerous prayer. I started praying that, oh it hurts, but it's a beautiful kind of hurt." -Mark Hart

I remember thinking when I heard that, "that's a great prayer, great idea Mark, but I'm just not ready for that right now." I actually have this talk in my itunes, and have listened to it at least a dozen times since the conference. And every time I hear that part I think, "no, not right now" "it's not the right time" "I don't want my life ruined, I like how it's going" "I like my plan for my life, I don't want God to ruin that plan." All great examples of the STUPIDEST EXCUSE EVER! I mean, come on Katie, you're not ready to give God permission to help you follow his PERFECT plan for your life? You don't think it's the right time to give everything completly to God? You really think the life you have now is better than anything God could help you achieve by removing those things in your life that aren't that great? Seriously! That's stupid! But even though I realize that, I'm still sitting here thinking I'm not ready, it's not time, I like the way things are going, I like the plan I have for my life, I'm not ready for what God could have planned for me. I want so badly to have God ruin my life to make it better, make it into what He wants for me, but at the same time, I'm so afraid of what that might be.

God, will you help me fall apart? Help me to realize how much I need You to ruin my life? Take me into your arms and help me realize what you have planned is much better than anything I could ever plan? Help me find my way back to you? Show me how to grow through the changes you will make in my life? God, will you ruin my life and my plans so all that's left is You and what You want for me?

Will you help me fall apart
Pick me up, take me in your arms
Find my way back from the storm
And you show me how to grow
Through the change