Chris' prayer: Kutless' "This Time"

One of the most spiritually moving experiences I've ever had was walking someone through the process of becoming Catholic. A good friend of mine had decided that the Catholic Church was where he felt at home, and decided to be Confirmed in the Church. He asked me to be his Sponsor, and what followed was four or five months of growing together. We would read the same books and discuss their merits, what we liked about the books, and what we struggled with. We talked to each other about our personal struggles and worked with each other to try to surpass those downfalls. We learned all about the Church together.

It is because of this experience that I absolutely love attending the Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday, despite being three hours long. Knowing what leads up to that moment for those preparing to enter the Church has given me a great respect and reverence for this holy service.

Sadly, this experience is also one of my most disappointing. Almost immediately after being confirmed, my friend seemed to abandon his faith life. Gone were the books we shared, the talks, the growing, the learning, everything. It was like once the process was finished, so was he. It is something that, to this day, I struggle to get past. A part of me aches, a part of me still hurts in a very real way.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure exactly how to go about moving past it. I would like to, and I've tried. But the disappointment that I felt– that I feel– still grips me tightly. I wish I could just let it go; I wish I could just walk away.



iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Kutless' " This Time"

You were the one that I looked to
I never thought I'd see you run
I never thought I'd see you turn your back on all you
knew what right

I think one of the hardest things in life is to have one of your role models make a mistake, do something that is out of character, and just seems wrong. Having built up this person in your mind to be almost perfect, and then having that image destroyed.

Maybe even worse is to be the one who makes the mistake, who turns and runs from God, even though others are looking up to me.

Instead of looking at others as the perfect role model, we must see they also make mistakes, that they too are human. Only God is the perfect role model.

Katie's prayer: Kutless' "This Time"

I feel like God sings this song to me a lot. Why'd you turn away? Why'd you run? Run til this point of breaking? I feel like it could also be a song that I sing to myself, asking myself "Hey stupid, why'd you run away?" Every time I come back I tell myself, no not this time, it's going to last for good this time, I'm not going to run away this time. Things are going to be different. But then something happens that pushes me back and it's hard to get back on track, back to where God wants me, back to where I was before I was pushed back. Sometimes it gets so hard that I do run away.
There is a constant push and pull in my faith life, but this time, THIS TIME is different. I'm going to stay for good this time God. I know I've said it before, but this time it's really really really real! The reason is this blog! I can't run away from you if I have this commitment to You (and Chris). (: There is no running away, not even walking away, this time. I won't allow it.

I see you're back again
You'll never run again
This time
No walking away
No walking away

Megan's prayer: MercyMe's "On My Way to You"

Almost there, almost where I'm supposed to be.

I've never actually made it to a point in my faith life where I was 100% satisfied. I may be happy where I'm at, but I'm always knowing there is more. I know that I'm not quite where I'm supposed to be.

I think this is a blessing - for God to show me how great my faith is, and how important it is - and yet still not let me have 100%. If I were to be exactly where I'm supposed to be, I'm afraid I'd stop pursuing more. And it's in the pursuing that I grow so much.

Katie's prayer: MercyMe's "On My Way to You"

Almost there, almost where I'm supposed to be
It's not all clear, but you keep showing me
With every step, the more my heart moves to your beat
Just like where I'm headed, there's joy in the journey

I've had my times of frustration with God about this whole I want to be a Youth Minister thing. I did my discernment, I figured it all out, God I know what you want me to do with my life! Things are great! Why don't I have a job? Why haven't I been called about interviews? They're not doing the interviews until June? Why so late? Why do I have to wait more and more and more? I'm so close to where I'm supposed to be! Why is it taking so long to get there?

As I was at a low ropes course today with a bunch of youth ministers, I realized I still have a little more to learn. I still have some information to gather from those around me. Some lifenights to go to where I can pay a little more attention to not just what's going on, but also what the youth minister does. A little more time to get more comfortable with the role I want to play. And although I haven't looked at it quite like this in the past, I realized today as I was out there, it's a blessing I had this waiting time. There really is joy in the journey, I just didn't see it before because I was so impatient.

Chris' prayer: MercyMe's "On My Way to You"

One of the things I like best about this song, and something I find myself appreciating more and more each time I listen to it, is the pace of this song. There is something about the tempo of the song that just feels so right, especially for the message. It feels like it is both pulling the listener ahead and restraining him or her. The song is not too fast, but not too slow. It is not too loud, but yet not too soft. Like the story of Goldilocks, this is the baby bear- just right.

It is a great reminder that we are in the middle of a journey. If we sprint it, we will soon grow weary. If we dawdle, we will get distracted. This song, and our spirituality is about maintaining a certain pace, a pace that will have us leaning ever so slightly forward, bringing about the next step, and bringing with it a momentum that carries us through the times where we feel like the journey is all uphill. One single step after another, I'm on my way to You.


iTunes | Lyrics

Jen's prayer: Mercy Me's "On My Way to You"

It's a little difficult to pin point just a few lyrics from this song. I copied the entire song because I thought, "YES. This ENTIRE song is my prayer to God right now."

I'm on my way to God and with every step I pray my heart moves closer to God's beat. I want him to teach me what He thinks, I want a purer heart, and I want there to be joy in this journey.

I know God has this vision for me and that slowly but surely I am making my way there, but I am only capable with His strength.

So since the whole song captures entirely the essence of my heart right now, I'm just gonna paste most of the song below:

Almost there, almost where I'm supposed to be
It's not all clear, but you keep showing me
With every step, the more my heart moves to your beat
Just like where I'm headed, there's joy in the journey

Teach me to think like you think
Show me the things that are true [ohh]
Finish the work you have started in me
As I'm on my way to you
As I'm on my way to you

Create in me a pure heart and make me new
Less of me, Jesus more of you
Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees
It's not my strength, but Your's that carries me

Teach me to think like to you think
Show me the things that are true
Finish the work you have started in me
As I'm on my way to you
As I'm on my way to you
Yes I'm on my way to you

Megan's prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a Lifetime"

And you show me how to grow
Through the change

One of the biggest changes of my life was going through a break up in college. I was in a serious relationship one day, and single the next day. I wasn't quite sure how to handle that change - I didn't know who to turn to, or really what to do with my life. Everything that had made sense was suddenly gone - my world was flipped, and I was scared.

I really didn't think I'd ever be happy again. I thought that was the end - I had missed my chance. Luckily, in those hard times, I turned to God. My relationship with him grew stronger everyday, and I could finally begin to see what was important in life. I had definitely changed. I understood that relationships aren't everything. I realized it was important to turn to God - to have him help me through the rough times.

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a Lifetime"

I cannot concentrate at all tonight. My mind is all over the place and just will not settle down to pray this evening. I've restarted the song multiple times, always finding myself distracted before it ends. They aren't even important thoughts running through my mind; it is all just random unrelated musings. I wish that I could just turn it all off so that I can speak with my God, but it appears as if that isn't going to happen tonight.

It is times like this that I am thankful that I know You’re always there to my every prayer inside, even when I can't get it out.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a Lifetime"

During today's song, I was reminded of a talk I heard a few months back by Mark Hart at the FOCUS conference. It's without a doubt, one of the best talks I've EVER heard. Below is the little exerpt that I was reminded of...

"Now this is the most dangerous prayer you can ever pray, and I challenge you, if you really feel like having your life wrecked. I mean YOUR LIFE wrecked so that as St. Paul says in the Galatians, so Christ's life could really come through you, you should pray that God would ruin your life. That's like the greatest prayer ever. 'God ruin my life so that all that is left of me is what's of you.' And if you really want to have a great prayer, pray 'God, I give you permission, PERMISSION, whole-hearted surrendering abandoning permission to remove anything in my life that's keeping me from sainthood. Lord God, here you go! Take it! Break it! I don't care.' That's a dangerous prayer. I started praying that, oh it hurts, but it's a beautiful kind of hurt." -Mark Hart

I remember thinking when I heard that, "that's a great prayer, great idea Mark, but I'm just not ready for that right now." I actually have this talk in my itunes, and have listened to it at least a dozen times since the conference. And every time I hear that part I think, "no, not right now" "it's not the right time" "I don't want my life ruined, I like how it's going" "I like my plan for my life, I don't want God to ruin that plan." All great examples of the STUPIDEST EXCUSE EVER! I mean, come on Katie, you're not ready to give God permission to help you follow his PERFECT plan for your life? You don't think it's the right time to give everything completly to God? You really think the life you have now is better than anything God could help you achieve by removing those things in your life that aren't that great? Seriously! That's stupid! But even though I realize that, I'm still sitting here thinking I'm not ready, it's not time, I like the way things are going, I like the plan I have for my life, I'm not ready for what God could have planned for me. I want so badly to have God ruin my life to make it better, make it into what He wants for me, but at the same time, I'm so afraid of what that might be.

God, will you help me fall apart? Help me to realize how much I need You to ruin my life? Take me into your arms and help me realize what you have planned is much better than anything I could ever plan? Help me find my way back to you? Show me how to grow through the changes you will make in my life? God, will you ruin my life and my plans so all that's left is You and what You want for me?

Will you help me fall apart
Pick me up, take me in your arms
Find my way back from the storm
And you show me how to grow
Through the change

Jen's prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a lifetime"

And you show me how to grow
Through the change

This is a beautiful song about how God is always there for us. It's a great reminder that he's with us in the pain and trials and will never leave. Something that struck me, though, is how I also need him through this growing period in my life. I feel like I'm going to be facing a lot of changes soon and I want God there with me as I grow and change. As I spend time with God these next few days, I think my prayer is thanking him that He is with me through this growth and change.

Catie's prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a Lifetime"

Putting my understanding aside

I find myself constantly having to do this with God. We can never fully understand God, we can never fully understand why He does the things He does, anything. Sometimes, I'm perfectly okay with that. Other times, it scares me to death. It took over two months for a daycare center I applied to over Christmas break to get back to me. In that time, I had decided to apply to the Totus Tuus job to teach Catechist. I was talking to my roommate about it, because it was just very stressful when it came to hearing back from all of them and which diocese I wanted to be in and whatnot. And at one point I told her, had the daycre called me back within a reasonable time, I would have just taken the job, stayed home for the summer and that would have been that. Instead, I decided to apply for this other job, did interviews with different diocese, and was very stressed about it. Laura, my roommate, told me that if God wanted me with Totus Tuus this summer, that was his way of getting me there, by not having the daycare back so soon since I would had taken it and not thought twice about doing Totus Tuus. Sometimes, in order to better do God's will we have to do that though. We have to put our own understanding, thoughts, plans aside in order to let God come in and let God do what God does best. It is only then that we can best do God's will for our lives.

Megan's prayer: Relient K's "Getting Into You"

You say you will not dwell on what I did but rather what I do

How lucky are we to have a God that is forgiving - a God that does not base his love for us on our past.

I find it hard to not dwell in the past - too often I judge people based on what they used to be like. It's not fair - people change - but I forget that. I'm so blessed to have a God that doesn't forget.

Chris' prayer: Relient K's "Getting into You"

Megan was the pursuer in our relationship, the one who felt something more. I, on the other hand, was just fine where things were and how they were going. She was very nice, and a blast to hang out with, but a little young for me, I thought, and I didn't know if I had room for a relationship in my life at the time. So, when she told me that she had this thing for me, I tried to be as nice as I could in turning her down. "I still want to be friends," I said.

And, so that is what we did for the next couple of months. At that point, she told me she still had feelings for me and she couldn't help feeling the way she did. I told her the same things I said the first time, that I wasn't ready for a relationship, that she was too young, but that I really valued her friendship and enjoyed being around her.

But it was sometime shortly after that, that things started to change for me. I just could not deny how easily I could see God's Love for me through her, and how good she was at showing me that Love. I could not deny that I found her attractive and, despite the age difference, wondered if we could make it work somehow.

Megan had got to me. She had won me over. And it was at that point that I began getting into [her].

I think that our relationship with God can be the same way. Even when we're not ready, even when we aren't sure, God is there, wearing down our defenses, getting into us. He is constantly showing us how much He loves us and wants to be with us. And if we allow the door to be opened even just the tiniest bit, we will have no choice but to fall for Him, too.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Catie's prayer: Relient K's "Getting into You"

I'm getting into you
Because you got to me, in a way words can't describe
I'm getting into you
Because I've got to be
You're essential to survive
I'm going to love you with my life

This describes what starts my life as of Thursday. This summer I am going to be teaching Catechist to 1-12 graders. And in all honesty, I'm starting to wonder what I've gotten myself into doing this. I'm scared and yet so excited at the same time. I have this quote on my wall which is pretty much going to sum up my summer, or it will have to if I am going to survive my summer. "Your prayer life becomes what I refer to as your oxygen." -Brother Dominic Cason. However as this song says, God is essential to survive. Prayer shouldn't be something that happens what it's convenvient, when there's nothing else to do, when things are going horribly wrong. Yes, we should pray then, but that shouldn't be the only time we pray. To truly get to know God we must pray. My bible study leader this year asked us how strong our relationship would be if we had a husband and we only talked to him for two mintues before we went to bed? Wouldn't be very strong. Why would we expect to have a strong relationship with God if we only talked to Him for two minutes before we went to bed? God is essential. God makes this life bearable and worth living for. He gives us hope for something more than we have on this earth. He loves us with an unconditional love. Why wouldn't we want to spend more time with him?

Jen's prayer: Relient K's "Getting into you"

When I made up my mind
And my heart along with that
To live not for myself
But yet for God, somebody said
Do you know what you are getting yourself into

When I finally ironed out
All of my priorities
And asked God to remove the doubt
That makes me so unsure of these
Things I ask myself, I ask myself
Do you know what you are getting yourself into

I've been a liar and I'll never amount to
The kind of person you deserve to worship you
You say you will not dwell on what I did but rather what I do you say
I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into

I kind of edited the lyrics to this song down to the way I see how a faith develops...or at least how mine has been developing. The first stanza is all about how others ask, what are you getting yourself into, Jen? When I lived my life for myself and then switched to live for Jesus, there were some lifestyle changes I had to make. And to some people, it didn't make sense.

In the next stanza, when I'm living for God I find that I still have these doubts and that is when I ask myself, "What am I doing?" My flesh wants to do one thing and God is asking of something else, is this really worth it? What am I getting myself into?

Then comes the last stanza where I say, "God, I'm nothing. I'll never be who you deserve." And God says to me, "Jennifer, I love you and that's why you're getting into this." And when you sum it up to something that simple it makes all these doubts and funny looks from other people worth it. God loves me; that's reason enough to live for Him.

Katie's prayer: Relint K's "Getting Into You"

Things I ask myself, I ask myself
Do you know what you are getting yourself into

Ever since I determined it was God's will for my life to become a youth minister, I have had a few freak out moments. Moments where I really do ask myself "do you know what you are getting yourself into?!" and "Are you sure, God?" But all I have to do is pray, and my freak-out-ness disappears! Just a little prayer takes my freaking out and turns into into calmness and confidence in this plan for my life. So I guess God is positive on this plan for my life, I just wish my human self would stop getting in the way. (:

He said, I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into

Megan's prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "Jesus Movement"

Oh the joy that filled my heart
To know that I'm just a part
Of a bigger and better body

Four years ago I had the opportunity to go on the pro-life march with a local youth group. I was very nervous before going because it would be the first time that I was part of a group because of my faith. Granted, I had hung out with Catholics before, but never because we were Catholic. I had never done any activities that centered around my faith.

The thing that stands out the most from that trip was the youth rally. Thousands of people, my age, all coming together sharing a common thing - our faith. It was wonderful - it was powerful - I finally felt like I was part of something bigger - beginning to slowly grasp just how important my faith was.

Being at LifeTeen every Sunday - surrounded by people who share my faith - has almost made me numb to the feeling. While I still love and enjoy every second of it, it's hard to remember just how perfect and special it is. I long to have that renewed sense of awe and excitement again.

Chris' prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "Jesus Movement"

One of the things I love most about the Catholic Church is that, each and every Sunday, and, in fact, each and every day, Mass is being celebrated around the world in nearly the exact same way. The same prayers are being prayed, the same readings are being read, and often times, the same songs are being sung. There is a very real connectedness that I feel with my Catholic brothers and sisters thousands of miles away, because I know that they are participating in the exact same Mass that I am. It is nice to know that some things never change everywhere I go.


iTunes | Lyrics

Catie's prayers: Audio Adrenaline's "Jesus Movement"

And I found Jesus living outside the USA

OK so I'm kinda taking this outside the context of the song. But it's true. I did find Jesus living outside the USA. I found him down in El Salvador. When I was playing with the kids, I would look into their eyes and I would know I was looking into the eyes of Christ. I'm still trying to figure out how to do that in my every day life. In thinking about it I saw Christ in someone today- my grandpa. The man is a living saint. To be able to see Christ in every person, every soul, that is what we are called to do, that is what we were made for. If we were to recognize Christ in others, and got the whole world in on it, oh what a world we would have.