Marie's Prayer: Falling Up's "Broken Heart"

Words that paint the legacy of life
A different picture will unfold

Words are very interesting. I find myself at ease writing and/or typing them way more easily than I can say them. When I read or write something I tend to visualize things in my mind but draw blanks when someone tries to describe something using words. I am sure you all are tired of hearing about this, but with all that's been going on with my past a different picture is shown to me than the happy one I used to remember. Now things make awful sense and I realize how stupid I was for thinking they could have been any different. Most of the story is now unfolded before me and I just have to find a way to make sense of it and hopefully move beyond it. So each night I find myself asking God for a way to show me how to get beyond this and even my communication with Brad is helping me to see how his family dealt with this. He has moved past it even though it was visibly tougher on him than anyone else. So I ask God to help me move past it too.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Falling Up's "Broken Heart"

this song just made my day. i love every thing about it; the music is amazing and the words make so much sense. im truly connecting. i mean, my heart has been more or less broken since november...different reasons but basically i haven't been up to my normal happiness level. it not like life has been terrible, just disappointment is kind of a trend.
BUT this weekend, i went to a bunch of different church things and like...spiritually renewed myself and gave my struggles to Jesus and just tried to let things go. and it worked. suddenly, my whole focus on everything is different. i can see that things haven't really changed too much but suddenly i have this whole new perspective and can see all of the blessings and feel God's Presence in my life. it is awesome, i feel so joyous!

There's a Healer waiting to begin

i think so often, i keep waiting for God to step in and fix things. but then i continue living my life the way i choose to live it and not listening to anything He says. He is always waiting to begin, to make a change in my life. i don't even have to invite Him; He is already here. He is just patiently waiting for me to love and want Him there. my prayer is to remember that more often and just let God work.

Chris' prayer: Falling Up's "Broken Heart"

A healing finds its way through …
So heal my heart …
Father, Healer …
There's a healing calling from the wind …
There's a healer waiting to begin …
Father, Healer …
You can heal …
Father, Healer …

In true "broken" fashion, I'm finding it hard to put words together today.

It is clear, though, that God as Healer and His healing touch is the message today. He is calling me to reconcile my brokenness, my broken heart, my broken love, with His perfect love, His perfect heart, His perfection. To replace my life with His. How can I live for him today, and, in the process, heal the brokenness in my life?


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Megan's prayer: Falling Up's "Broken Heart"

As much as I enjoy living on my own, sometimes it gets lonely. Even if I have had human interaction throughout the whole day, I might still feel alone when I get back to my apartment. Even though I know that there are many people out there who care about me, when they aren’t present, sometimes it’s hard to remember or realize just how much I am loved.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact I’m a visual learner, but I am much more convinced of someone’s feelings if they are there with me, sitting with me, or holding me in their arms, rather than trying to believe how much they care about me without having them present. Those times, being in someone’s company, are the times I feel most loved.

Today’s song echoed some of my feelings.

Stay here, closer, let me hear your voice of love.

Megan's prayer: Jeremy Camp's "Take My Life"

During my Senior year in high school, I was one of the co-founders of a new class – Prayer Class. A few of my friends and I made a deal with one of the teachers that if we got enough students to sign up for the class, that he would teach the class. Within a few days, we had a full class.

In the first class, we talked about just how scary prayer can be. Growing up, we all ask God for things, and sometimes remember to thank him for the blessing in our lives, but this class, prayer class, was going to be a new type of prayer. We were going to be challenged to give ourselves over to God. To allow him inside of us, and let him work through us. We were told that this type of prayer could be scary because it led us to the unknown, but in the end it would be very rewarding.

It was scary, but slowly, and through the support of the others in my class, we all found ourselves beginning to let God take a more active role in our lives, to allow him to be in control. It was an absolutely amazing semester of prayer.

Somehow over the past three years, I have lost that feeling. I find myself trying to keep control of my life instead of giving it over to God. Today’s song reminded me of that wonderful semester, that time when I was able to give all of myself.

Take my life, take my mind
Take my soul, take my will
Cause I am yours now, I give it all to you

Erinnicole's Prayer: Jeremy Camp's "Take My Life"

like a child reaching out

we talked today in my theology class about being worthy basically. we discussed the different kinds of love and Agape was one of them. Agape is the unconditional love of God. my teacher was telling us about one of our many "human conditions" and how one of them is that we naturally put other things before God, and that we don't stop and think "what would God think of this right now?" well first of all, i really like my teacher, and typically i agree with everything he says, but i didn't agree with this. i mean, i do stop and think or at least make an effort to. but i understood what he meant after he explained that when we feel this way it is Sin as an attitude. so then it made more sense and i don't think he meant applied to everyone. anyway, he continued to say that God loves us despite what we are, especially when we sin. he told us that because of our natural inclination toward Sin, it is often hard to love God above everything else all the time but how unconditional love works is that we don't have to. It was said that the Agape love is just us having to accept the peace and love God gives us and of course we should love Him back, but our primary thing is that the Love God gives us is a gift and we are just supposed to accept it. it is not earned, it is given. all we simply have to do to receive it, is reach out our hands like a child. i thought that was a nice thought. that something so valuable and yet so priceless and such a "Hot Commodity" (who doesn't want unconditional love?) is so easily accessible to me just for being me...virtually nothing more than a weak and unworthy human just struggling to love God. God is so generous and good!!

Marie's Prayer: Jeremy Camp's "Take My Life"

like a child reaching out

I'm reaching out to God, I want Him to take my hand and tell me what to do next. Like a child I am anxiously awaiting answers to my questions. Why? I ask, that one word insistent, and annoying. Why did I let myself get swept away in lies? Why did my car decide not to start today after school? I always ask, yet I know it must have happened for a reason. So I reach out to God like a child, expectant to learn these vast many things that have puzzled me so. Hoping that He'll answer me. So I wait.

Chris' prayer: Jeremy Camp's "Take My Life"

Here I am I'm giving all I can … I feel I'm through

One of my favorite Christian songs is Big Daddy Weave's "Being in Love with You." In the song, Mike Weaver sings essentially about being bogged down with doing all of God's work, but not being able to feel God's Love. That sentiment is echoed in the first verse of Camp's song from today.

Right now, in my ministry, I feel a little bogged down. I feel like I'm doing everything that is being asked of me, everything that I'm being called to and more, but I'm finding it hard to feel God's joy right now. It feels like I'm being pulled in a hundred different directions, and yet without any direction at all. In short, I feel I'm through.

I'm hoping this feeling passes. I'm hoping that I'm able to find joy in what I'm doing soon. That is my prayer for today, that I might be able to give all I can, and (perhaps selfishly) feel something in return.


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Megan's prayer: Rich Mullins' "Hold Me, Jesus"

Although I have been in school for over 15 years now, there was something about this semester that had me terrified. Last night, the night before classes started, I was worried about all the new classes, the new teachers, the pending assignments and exams. There was no one particular thing that worried me so much, but just the idea of jumping into something new again.

This morning wasn’t much better. I was so nervous that I was feeling physically sick to my stomach. My hands were sweating, and my heart was racing. Looking back, that would have been the perfect opportunity to turn to God, to pray for peace, to talk to him and have him help calm my nerves. It would have been the perfect time to listen to today’s song.

So hold me Jesus, ‘cause I’m shaking like a leaf.

What a simple and wonderful thought. Just being held by Jesus, allowing his presence to calm my nerves. Allowing his arms to wrap around me, offering me the comfort and support I so desperately need. It almost makes me look forward to next time that I’m feeling worried or anxious.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Rich Mullins' "Hold Me, Jesus"

i absolutely love this song. it encompasses everything i want faith to be...because when i am scared, i like to be held. the physical and personal attachment is a really strong reminder that i'm not doing it alone. but like in the song, its really difficult to just give it all up.

Surrender don't come natural to me

again with the whole thing about me having the do things on my own and not being able to accept help. but i think...keeping in mind this song...that Jesus wants to help me. and i know that seems like it should be so obvious but its so easy for me to forget. to remember that He is my Prince of Peace and He will help me when everything seems lost and the mountains seem so much bigger than my faith. God, my prayer is for You to remind me daily to trust in Your Love for me, just like we discussed on my REAP retreat yesterday.

Marie's Prayer: Rich Mullins' "Hold Me Jesus"

When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

Sometimes, like this past week I feel like my problems and my past are these huge mountains. I feel like I need to climb over them but my faith and hope don't seem big enough to last. What I need to learn is that God can help me build these things and that when the time is right I will make it over them.

Sometimes I feel that other people have such strong feelings about different things. Some people have a very firm belief in love or hope or even in belief. I don't even know if I feel that strongly about anything right now, when all I want is something I can cling to and hold on to. My goal is to find that.

Chris' prayer: Rich Mullins' "Hold me, Jesus"

I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need

I would come as no surprise to those that know me best that I can be extremely stubborn. In fact, it should come as no surprise to the readers of this blog, either, as I've mentioned it before. The need to be in control is something that I struggle with constantly. It even affects my faith life. Rather than following God's plan for me, I often feel the need to steer my own life, to have some kind of input into what I end up doing or who I end up being. Rather than being content to follow, I force my way to lead.

Fortunately for me, hope comes just a couple lines later, where we find out just how persistent and strong Jesus is:

Your grace rings out so deep,
It makes my resistance seem so thin.

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Marie's Prayer: Rich Mullins' "Awesome God"

He has lightning in His footsteps and thunder in His fists

How many times do people wish they have super powers? Now it might be strange for me to bring this up, but this probably isn't all about that cool power of throwing lightning. This is probably to show us that God has power over EVERYTHING. To me that is like really awesome. Sometimes I feel like I have no control over my life at all. It's hard for me to think someone might have all the answers. When I think about this I always think about God's sovereignty. I wonder if it's all predestined or do we have some choice in this crazy world that always throws us for a spin. I hope we do, but even if we do I like knowing God's always there to step in if I really need it.

He spoke into the darkness and created all the light

Erinnicole's Prayer: Rich Mullin's "Awesome God"

With wisdom, power, and love

It is amazing and comforting to think that of all of the things that humans seem to be chasing, wisdom, power, and love are the biggest desire. And God already possesses them! and is more than willing to share if we will let Him!! And someone who i can place all of my faith, trust, and life in has MORE than the necessary requirements to care for me!! My prayer is that i can remember these things and give myself to You, Lord. Especially when times are good...i somehow tend to forget that part.

Megan's prayer: Rich Mullins' "Awesome God"

One of the worst things, at least for me, is the feeling that I am being taken for granted. When my generosity, which was once appreciated, is now expected. When there is no longer gratitude for the work I have done, but only disappointment if I fail to come through.

I know, in saying that, I am a hypocrite. I have been so blessed in my life, and many times I forget to give thanks to God for all of these wonderful things. Sometimes I take God for granted, coming to just expect that things will be easy or go my way, and then being upset when that doesn’t happen.

In today’s song, Rich Mullins says

I hope that we have not
Too quickly forgotten that
Our God is an awesome God

I pray that I will never forget that. I pray that I am able to see each day all that I have been blessed with. I pray that every minute of every day serves as a reminder to me that MY God is an awesome God.

Chris' prayer: Rich Mullins' "Awesome God"

awe•some | 'ôsӘm| adj. extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear

I have always been completely and utterly fascinated by the universe in which we live. In fact, by the definition above, I would say that I find it to be awesome. Its sheer size (though no one knows, one guess puts it currently at around 156,000,000,000 light years across) I find daunting. The number of stars I find jaw-dropping (70,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 way back in 2003). Its age (13,700,000,000 years), I find overwhelming. The idea that the stars that I see on a clear night are actually from years and years ago, I find mind-boggling.

And when the sky was starless in the void of the night
He spoke into the darkness and created the light

God created all of this? And to take it a step further– We are children of that God who created all of this? And another step– and He created all of this for us? Our God is an awesome God.


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Megan's prayer: SONICFLOOD's "Lord, I Lift Your Name on High"

I can remember singing “Lord, I Lift Your Name on High” at all school Masses in grade school. It was one of the few upbeat songs we sang, and maybe the only song that had hand motions that we got to do. I still remember how excited I would get when our choir director started to play the song. It turned Mass, which seemed boring to me in grade school, into something fun, enjoyable, upbeat. It was finally something for the kids, something that we felt a part of.

For the past 3.5 years, I have attended noon Mass at St. Cletus. Although not my home parish, I continue to go there because of the music. Just as “Lord, I Lift Your Name on High” helped bring Mass to life for me in grade school, the music selection at St. Cletus continues to do the same for me now. Mass is not about sitting back and being a spectator, but it is about participating. The music is what helps me do this, it is what helps me draw into a deeper relationship with God.

Lord, I love to sing your praises.

Erinnicole's Prayer: SONICFLOOD's "Lord I Lift Your Name on High"

Lord, I Love to sing Your Praises!

i am super acquainted with this song and proudly do the motions when we sing it in my parish. not to be a copy cat to chris....but i too, love singing! i love singing Christian music especially because its so full of passion! im getting exciting just thinking about it!! and it makes it simple for me to express my emotions when i sing. because singing doesn't have to be anything but feeling, and the majority of times, when i am praying all i can do is sing because i can't formulate any other communication. which is good i think, because, like they say, 'singing is praying twice!'. i remember once at one of my first XLT's ever, at a new church, i was singing really loud because i get super joyful during Adoration and am filled with all these songs that burst from my spirit and after it was over, a girl who has a very lovely voice said to me, 'erin i heard you singing and you are really good' and i was like, 'o...thanks, i didnt realize i was so loud. and what are you complimenting me for? ive heard you sing and you are amazing.' and she said to me, ' i dont know how i sing because im only doing it for Jesus so it doesn't matter if its good or not...i mean He gave me the voice'. and it was so wonderful it just inspired me to sing even more.

Marie's Prayer: SONICFLOOd's "Lord I Liftt Your Name On High"

You came from Heaven to earth
To show the way

How cool is that that God came to earth to show us what to do? I mean earth is SUPER confusing place. He's still here though, leading us, no matter how reluctant we may be. Sometimes we don't know that He has shown us and we ask Him for a sign. Then poof, something happens and we're like "oh THAT'S what I'm supposed to do. Thanks!" But He was already here, no need to wait any longer. All we have to do is follow.

Chris' prayer: SONICFLOOd's "Lord, I Lift Your Name on High"

Lord, I love to sing Your praises

One of the things I've discovered in my spiritual journey is that, no matter what happens, God will always give each of us a way to talk to Him. He will always give each of us a vessel through which to worship Him. For me, that vessel is song.

I love to sing. Love, love, love to sing. And it is through song that, even if I have no other way, I can talk to, and praise, my God.

Such was the case at the beginning of last year. My personal prayers felt hollow and forced. Mass wasn't going all that well. Every way that I tried to communicate with Him wasn't working for me– except song. Even when I was at the darkest point in my spiritual journey, I was still able to sing His praises. And it was through song, during Adoration on a retreat I was helping lead, that I began to be pulled out of my spiritual funk.

God was there, reminding me that, even when I don't have my own words, even when recited prayer feels hollow, that He is still there listening to me, and will help me find a way to get my point across. Lord, I love to sing your praises.


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