Katie's prayer: Jill Phillips' "I am"

Drop that heavy load you hold 'cause Mine is light.

Today's song (well, really this line) reminded me of a story I recently read in the book Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver. It's kinda a long story, but I have to put it here so y'all might understand fully my prayer for today. Plus it's a great story. (I'll try to cut it down some) (:

The story is told of a man who met God in a lovely valley one day. "How are you this morning?" God asked the fellow. "I'm fine, thank you." the man replied. "Is there anything I can do for you today?" "Yes there is," God said. "I have a wagon with three stones in it, and I need someone to pull it up the hill for me. Are you willing?" "Yes, I'd love to do something for you. Those stones don't look very heavy, and the wagon's in good shape. I'd be happy to do that. Where would you like me to take it?" God gave the man specific instructions, sketching a map in the dust at the side of the road. "Go through the woods and up the road that winds up the side of the hill. Once you get to the top, just leave the wagon there. Thank you for your willingness to help me today." "No problem!" the man replied and set off cheerfully.

The wagon pulled a big behind him, but the burden was an easy one. He began to whistle as he walked quickly through the forest. The sun peeked through the trees and warmed his back. What a joy to be able to help the Lord, he thought, enjoying the beautiful day. Just around the third bed, he walked into a small village. People smiled and greeted him. Then, at the last house, a man stopped him and asked, "How are you this morning? What a nice wagon you have. Where are you off to?" "Well, God gave me a job this morning. I'm delivering these three stones to the top of the hill." "My goodness! Can you believe it? I was just praying this morning about how I was going to get this rock I have up to the top of the mountain," the man told him with great excitement. "You don't suppose you could take it up there for me? It would be such an answer to prayer." The man with the wagon smiled and said, "Of course. I don't supposed God would mind. Just put it behind the other three stones." Then he set off with three stones and a rock rolling behind him.

The wagon seemed a bit heavier. He could feel the jolt of each bump, and the wagon seemed to pull to one side a bit. The man stopped to adjust the load as he sang a hymn of praise, pleased to be helping out a brother as he served God. Then he set off again and soon reached another small village at the side of the road. A good friend lived there and offered him a glass of cider. "You're going to the top of the hill?" his oldest friend asked. "Yes! I am so excited. Can you imagine, God gave me something to do!" "Hey!" said his friend. "I need this bag of pebbles taken up. I've been so worried that it might not get taken care of since I haven't any time to do it myself. But you could fit it in right between the three stones here in the middle." With that, he placed his burden in the wagon. "Shouldn't be a problem" the man said. "I think I can handle it." He finished the cider, then stood up and brushed his hands on his overalls before gripping the handle of the wagon. He waved good-bye and began to pull the wagon back onto the road.

The wagon was definitely tugging on his arm now, but it wasn't uncomfortable. As he started up the incline, he began to to feel the weight of the three stones, the rock, and the pebbles. Still, it felt good to help a friend. Surely God would be proud of how energetic and helpful he'd been. One little stop followed another, and the wagon grew fuller and fuller. The sun was hot above the man pulling it, and his shoulders ached with the strain. The songs of praise and thanksgiving that had filled his heard had long since left his lips as resentment began to build inside. Surely this wasn't what he had signed up for that morning. God had given him a burden heavier than he could bear.

The wagon felt huge and awkward as it lumbered and swayed over the ruts in the road. Frustrated, the man was beginning to have visions of giving up and letting the wagon roll backward. God was playing a cruel game with him. The wagon lurched, and the load of obligations collided with the back of his legs leaving bruises. "This is it!" he fumed. "God can't expect me to haul this all the way up the mountain." "Oh God," he wailed."This is too hard for me! I though you were behind this trip, but I am overcome by the heaviness of it. You'll have to get someone else to do it. I'm just not strong enough."

As he prayed, God came to his side. "Sounds like you're having a hard time. What's the problem?" "You gave me a job that is too hard for me," the man sobbed."I'm just not up to it! God walked over to where the wagon was braced with a stone. "What is this?" He held up the bag of pebbles. "That belongs to John, my good friend. He didn't have time to bring it up himself. I thought I would help."

{God unloads the wagon....}

"If you will be content to let others take their own burdens," God told him, "I will help you with your task." "But I promised I would help! I can't leave these things lying here." "Let others shoulder their own belongings," God said gently. "I know you were trying to help, but when you are weighted down with all these cares, you cannot do what I have asked of you." The man jumped to his feet, suddenly realizing the freedom God was offering. "You mean I only have to take the three stones after all?" he asked. "That is what I asked you to do." God smiled. "My yoke is easy, and my burden is light. I will never ask you to carry more than you can bear."

I feel like I'm a lot like this man often. I mean, just yesterday, the Totus Tuus team told me of two things they needed - copies of night prayer and yarn in various colors - I immediately thought I'd be the one to make the copies, buy the yarn, and drive a half hour one-way to deliver these items to the team, in addition to the other tasks already on my plate for today. I easily become a control freak and think if I don't do it, it won't get done properly, it won't be done in the best way, it might not even get done at all, so I have to do it! Do it all! I think God's trying to send me a subtle message with that story and today's song that I don't have to do it all. It is possible to say no. (:

Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "I'm Alright"

I'm alright...

I say this so often. When I'm having a bad day, I'll tell others "I'm alright." When I'm having a great day, I'll tell others "I'm alright." I don't know why I'm so secretive. It's like I'm either trying to hold in the bad so that I don't bring others down, or I'm trying to keep all of my happiness for myself cause I'm too selfish to share it.

I think God just wants us to be honest with him. He knows it all anyways. But being able to pray to God, to really tell him what's going on, to fight with him, or just share my pure joy with him... Being myself, 100%, is what will help me grow to have a deeper relationship with my God.

Jen's prayer: Jars of Clay's "I'm alright"

And I can't see the view from the eyes you look at me through

Which is unfortunate, because I'd really like to be able to see through God's eyes right now. I'm not alright. I need some clarity on what God is wanting in my life right now. And that is simply my prayer tonight:

Let me see through your eyes, Father. Give me clarity.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "I'm Alright"

I've never been the saint you wanted me to turn to

One of the things I struggle with the most as a youth minister is when teens don't buy into what is going on, when they don't invest themselves into the event or activity. The other night, for instance, we were having open gym and playing dodgeball when some of the upperclassmen decided that goofing off and playing dodgeball was beneath them. In fact, they would rather not even be there than sit and watch what was going on, leaving me and the underclassmen. As they left, one of them looked at me, and gave me this glance that said, "Heh. Have fun with whatever that is, going on over there." They wanted no part of it.

It bothers me because buying into what is going on is so important for the benefit of everyone. If these upperclassmen think it is okay to be too good for an activity, then they are showing tomorrow's upperclassmen that they can be, too. But if everyone buys into what we're doing, we can all have fun.

It is these times when I have to remind myself that these teens are who they are. They aren't who I want them to be, or who I expect them to be, or who I'd like them to be. They are who they are and they will do the things they do. Sometimes, their choices may disappoint me, but they are their choices, and sometimes they aren't going to make the mature, responsible, good-for-everyone choice.

And I can't see the view from the eyes you look at me through

And once I'm able to remind myself that they are who they are- that is, that they are a child of God- I can get back to loving them for who they are. I can return to looking at them through the eyes of Jesus, who loves them without fail.


iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Jars of Clay's "I'm Alright"

"I'm alright." It's a phrase I use quite often. To some people, it's a positive answer, not for me. It's not quite negative, but definitely more negative than positive. It's the type of thing you say when someone asks you how you are and things suck but you don't want to explain why, or you don't want people to know about the suckiness, so you say "I'm alright." And even though that's the real meaning behind that phrase when I say it, I somehow trick myself into thinking things really are ok, just by saying that. Does that make sense? In trying to hide the sucky parts of my life from others, I also hide it from myself. I begin to think things are ok, that yeah, this part of my life may not be so great, I may not like this part, but it's ok, that's how it's supposed to be, it's ok that this isn't perfect. I don't really need to try and fix this part of me.

I could be so foolish thinkin' I'm alright.

Within this past week, actually, I began to work on that. Working on telling myself "even though I say it's alright, it's not." What a great song to come along at the end of the week to remind me to keep it up throughout the weekend!

Megan's prayer: Falling Up's "New Hope Generation"

It has definitely been an adventure working with high school teens each Sunday with the lifeteen program. Although they are only a few years younger than me, I still see them as an entirely different generation than I am in.

Some of the times, it can be frustrating to work with the teens. They may not be into the night - they would rather just goof off. Sometimes I feel like just giving up.

Other times I will be completely overwhelmed by a teen, and by their love for God. I'll be amazed by the thoughts and questions they have, and they help me grow deeper in my own faith.

Although I'm the older person in these relationships, sometimes I end up being the one who learns more. I'm grateful for the teens... and although they may enjoy joking around, I really do have hope for the new generation.

Jen's prayer: Falling Up's "New Hope Generation"

Hope is there it is waiting it is real

I was once close with a person who did not have hope. It wasn't until things got very bad that things changed in this person's life and then supposedly this person had hope. I wish I could believe this person. However, hope isn't REAL without the love of Christ. And the only way to have that hope is to open up our arms to Christ.

Just hold him close he won't ever let you go

Hope is knowing that Jesus will never let us go. We always have something to live for knowing that.

Chris' prayer: Falling Up's "New Hope Generation"

I've been here before, it's all I've ever known

In a week and a half, I will be leaving St. Louis for Ely, Minnesota, to paddle my way around the Boundary Waters Canoe Area for nearly a week. I'm really excited and at the same time, scared. It is going to be an amazing experience and one that I will not likely ever forget, but, as it is something I've never done before, there are a lot of unsuredness about it. It doesn't help that my friend has been the one doing all the planning for the trip- he is the one with the expectations, the ideas, the plan...I am just flying by the seat of my pants.

That is also part of the reason I cannot wait. It is something I've never done before and something that is far from everything I've ever known. I'll get to spend 6 nights in God's beautiful wilderness, under a sky full of a million stars, without any distractions that accompany all I've ever known. It is going to be incredible and I am so ready for something new.

Bring. It. On.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Falling Up's "New Hope Generation"

See the Messiah rise in these places

Recently, I've been forgetting that it's all about God, not me. My prayers have turned from "This is what I want, God, is that what you want to? Is that what I should do?" to "This is what I want, God, please make it happen!" Not with everything in my life, just on my job situation and my relationship with a boy. But at the moment, those are the two main parts of my life. I needed to be reminded. Reminded to invite God into my problems. Ask God for the solution, instead of coming up with one on my own and asking God to help me fulfill that solution. Luckily, today's song did just that. It's time for God's presence in those problems to rise, again.

Open arms let your spirit pour

Jen's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Weighed Down"

And are we illuminating?

I was talking to a friend tonight about how important it is for us to be a light to others. It's so easy for us to be in our bubbles and be with the same, like minded people all the time. We get in our comfort zones. At least I do. Maybe it's different for you. But when I read these lyrics that's what really stuck out to me, "Are we illuminating?" Jesus should be shining bright in us. And if that isn't what's going on, why not? What is weighing us down? That's something I'm going to be thinking about tonight and into tomorrow.

Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Weighed Down"

I had so many prayers in my heart throughout the day. So many different things that I needed to talk to God about. Prayers asking for forgiveness, prayers of thanksgivings, and all sorts of other things I needed to talk to him about.

I had the opportunity to attend adoration tonight. In a very short hour and a half, I was able to talk to God about all of these things. I went into the night feeling weighed down, but a weight was definitely lifted during adoration.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Weighed Down"

Our hearts … moved on by winds of everything

I know that this is certainly true in my life. My heart will be captured by something and I'll be so excited about it and so into it and ready to give my all to it, and the next moment, something else comes along and steals it away. My attention and effort turns to that thing until it is ultimately stolen away by yet another "passion." Anything and everything can grab my heart, my attention, but very few things can hold it for any length of time.

Unfortunately, my spirituality isn't as much one of those "few things" as I would like it to be. I am always conscious of my faith, and how it is going, and I really never feel like abandoning it, but if I took a look at my choices, and particularly my effort, I know I could tell when I was distracted by something else going on. I keep waiting for Jesus to grab my heart and not let go, failing to realize that I'm really the one who decides where it stays. I need to work on that.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Weighted Down"

I've gotten into this habit of listening to the song of day throughout my entire day, beginning by listening to it non-stop during my shower. It's a great time to be alone with me, my thoughts, my prayers, and the song for the day. The only down side is that I can't really look at the lyrics. Normally, that isn't a problem, today was different. I couldn't understand a thing except for the 4 "weighted down"s at the end. Everything else sounded like just mumbling.

So whilst taking my shower and not understanding a thing being said, I began to think that was very relevant to my life right now. God has closed a few doors for me, but also opened more. In the past when it was time to make big decisions, I'd ask God for his advice, and my reply would be a big neon flashing sign "do this!" Not the case right now. All I'm hearing is "youth ministry." Ok God, how do you want me to fulfill that? Where am I supposed to do this youth ministry? The answer: mumbling. I'm starting to get worried God's not going to let me in on the secret of my life. God's kinda in a way abandoning me.

As I'm formulating this thought more, it's time to exit the shower. I turn off the water and suddenly, I understand every word being said. I hear it all! No more mumbling. And I realize, God's not abandoning me. God's not mumbling the answers to my questions. I just hear mumbling because of all the noise around me. I'm not focusing solely on God. I'm allowing the pressures and deadlines and issues of the world around me to cloud the voice of God who's telling me exactly what to do.

Chris' prayer: Andy Cloninger's "Great is the Lord in Zion"

Each Tuesday, I spend an hour of my day with Jesus in Adoration, usually reading something spiritual. Today's spiritual reading was Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan and Danae Yankoski. I didn't make it too far into the book, but what I did read about was pretty good. The authors spoke about how only God is "holy," which means "spiritually and morally perfect," and that all holy things come from Him. And for that, we are to worship Him.

Tonight's song echos that sentiment:

He is exalted over all the nations
Let them praise Your great and awesome name
We sing Holy, We sing Holy, We sing Holy
Is Your great and awesome name

iTunes

Jen's prayer: Andy Cloninger's "Great is the Lord in Zion"

When you're raised with a Christian background like me, summer means the time to get your Jesus freak on. Ha. Or in other words, reconnect with Jesus. When I was in middle school and high school, summer meant camps and Christian music festivals popping up everywhere. I always needed something to help refocus and direct my life back to Christ before school started back up in the fall.

I was reading Megan's post and thinking about my faith and how it's not nearly as on fire as it used to be back in high school when I had camps or Christian music festivals to attend. When Andy sings, "I wanna dance, I wanna sing" that's what summer was all about. You praised Jesus. And thus, you felt Jesus. And I was thinking about how Megan said something about not feeling Jesus' spirit as much or something and I was thinking, "Yeah, I'm not on fire either!" But the thing is, I KNOW my faith is more mature than it was in high school. I may not FEEL like I did back then with that pumped up energy, but that doesn't mean Jesus isn't there. I shouldn't rely on a camp or festival to bring back that zeal, I should just press forward on my own. And I'm glad this song and Megan's post could help me realize that.

Megan's prayer: Andy Cloninger's "Great is the Lord of Zion"

To be honest, my faith life is no where near where I want it to be. And it's nowhere near where it used to be. Last summer, God's love for me was so intense, it was almost tangible. I could feel it everywhere around me. There was no question as to whether or not I was loved.

Things have changed a little. Although I know God still loves me, and can see it, I'm having a hard time feeling it. The joy in my faith has been lost a little, and I'm not sure what to attribute that to. Having to remind myself that God loves me is a little different than just constantly experiencing it.

I want to rediscover those days of pure and constantly love from God. While I know it isn't gone cause I can see it, I need help figuring out how to feel it. I want back those days of pure joy in my faith.

I wanna dance
I wanna shout
I wanna sing "Hallelujah"

Katie's prayer: Andy Cloninger's "Great is the Lord in Zion"

The one thing that struck me about this song was it was basically the same 4 lines over and over again. (except for one little bit in the middle) You'd think that 3.5 minutes of the same 4 lines would get kinda boring after a while. And after listening to the song non-stop for 30 minutes, hearing the same thing over and over again would become annoying. But strangely, that's not the case. I never get tired of hearing Andy sing:

Great is the Lord in Zion
He is exalted over all the nations
Let them praise your great and awesome name.
Holy, Holy, Holy, is your great and awesome name.

And if I never get tired of hearing it, then the same must be true for God. We all know God is great and awesome and holy, but how often to we proclaim that? How often do I proclaim that, or more accurately, how little do I proclaim that? Last Monday, I talked about increasing those prayers of thankfulness. I think today's lesson is about increasing those prayers of affirmation.

Great is the Lord in Zion
He is exalted over all the nations
Let them praise your great and awesome name.
Holy, Holy, Holy, is your great and awesome name.

Megan's prayer: Plumb's "Stranded"

And I wanna be with you

I know, for sure, that I want to be with God. I want to serve him, I want to honor him, I want to live my life for him. No matter what I do, or where I am, I want to be with God.

And you wanna be with me

A much harder reality for me to accept is God wanting to be with me. While I want to believe it's true, and *do* believe it is true most of the time, there are those times of doubt. Those times where I have to convince myself God wants me, instead of it being a natural feeling inside.

At this point, I'm not sure how to make it a more instinctual feeling, but my prayer for today is that I can continue on the path to always knowing that God loves me.

Chris' prayer: Plumb's "Stranded"

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word stranded is having a car break down miles from everywhere and not knowing what exactly to do.

Fortunately, this has really only happened to me once, where I was too far from anyone I knew who could help me. I don't recall what happened to the car, but I remember I was stuck on the side of the highway just more than halfway to school, but still so far. I was lucky, too, that there was a random subdivision in the middle of this nowhere, where I could borrow a phone.

I called a friend of mine who was more than happy to skip dinner and make the hour and a half trip to come rescue me, pretending like it was no big deal, and not allowing me to pay for her meal, her gas, or her time. I was rescued- for free.

This image has always stuck with me as that of my Heavenly Father. Rescuing me from all the troubles in my life, and not asking for anything in return. He just wants to save me.

Katie's prayer: Plumb's "Stranded

Today was not the best day for me and God. I tried, I started out with morning prayer, I went for my walk with Jesus, I listened to today's song over and over and over again. Ok, so maybe morning prayer was said in my bed with a yawn after every paragraph. Maybe I had to force myself to go for the walk and when I did get out there, all I did was complain, about my life, about the weather, about everything. Maybe I didn't actually pay attention to what I was listening to when I was listening to the song. Maybe I didn't try as hard as I should have. Maybe that's why I felt a little stranded today.

I miss you, I need you
Without you, I'm stranded
I love you so come back

Jen's prayer: Plumb's "Stranded"

It's hard for me to look at this song as being about God, because when I used to listen to Plumb, this was always a boy/girl song...probably because at the end it says "Oh baby I miss you." I don't usually talk to God like that. Ha. Buuuut there is something I was thinking about at the beginning when the lyrics go...

And I wanna be with you
And you wanna be with me

If I WANT to be with God. And God WANTS to be with me...what's the problem? Why can't it just be that simple? Well, I'll tell you why...I let the worldly stuff get in the way. But I am praying that I can simplify it down to the basics...God wants me to draw close to Him and so that is what I shall do.

Jen's prayer: Chris Rice's "Clumsy"

I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless

I relate a lot to this song. People who know me well know I'm not the most ... graceful person. They also know that even though I can appear pretty smart since I graduated from college early, I can be pretty stupid sometimes too. And I can be really foolish when it comes to me ignoring God's voice. And it can be during these points where I feel absolutely useless. I don't even know why God would want to use me as a vessel to do his work. Because let's face, I'm pretty hopeless sometimes. Luckily, Chris Rice goes onto say in this song, that the good thing is God still wants me and still wants to be near me. God doesn't give up on me as easily as I sometimes give up on myself. And if God, the maker of heaven and earth, the very guy who could strike us all dead if He so chose, isn't going to give up on ME, then why should I give up on me?

Katie's prayer: Chris Rice's "Clumsy"

From where I stand
Your holiness is up so high I can never reach it

(I realize what I'm about to say is probably not what the singer or songwriter intended for this part of the song, but gosh darn it, it's my prayer and I can make it whatever I want) (:

I have a big problem of measuring my holiness by the holiness of those around me. Sometimes by telling myself it's ok if I didn't do morning prayer today, so and so never does morning prayer. Yeah, this isn't the best thing for me to be doing, but this person whose faith I admire is doing it, so it must be ok, right? Sometimes I glorify those around me, and thus try to be just like them. I know this isn't my favorite way of praying, this isn't a way I normally feel God, but so and so prays like this and says the feel God through this kind of prayer, so I should do it. I should abandon my ways of praying to pray just like this person. I even have thoughts that everyone around me is WAY holier than I am or could ever be. I'm the only one who has trouble with this sin, I'm the only one that experiences dips in faith life, I'm the only one without a deep prayer life.

But that's stupid. Other people should not affect my relationship with God. I shouldn't be looking at the relationships of those around me with God, I should only be focused on my relationship with God. It shouldn't matter if so and so is doing such and such sin, that doesn't give me permission to do it. It shouldn't matter how so and so prays, I should concentrate on my own prayer life, and how I want to pray. I need to keep my eyes focused on God, and everything else will fall into place.

My only hope is to fall on Jesus.

Chris' prayer: Chris Rice's "Clumsy"

And that You wanna be near me

I can be pretty mean sometimes. I can be ornery, and spiteful, and selfish. I can lash out and I am the best at making absolutely nothing ever my fault. I'm good at deflecting blame and I'm very good at being in a bad mood. In short, I can be very good at not being Christian at all.

When I'm able to recognize this mood, I cannot understand why anyone at all would want to be around me. Why would anyone want to put up with my stupidity and selfishness? But whether it is my girlfriend, or a friend or family member, or simply God telling me they want to hang out, I am reminded once again that love really does conquer all things.

Even me.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Chris Rice's "Clumsy"

I get so foolish
I get so stupid

I've definitely felt this way recently. I do something stupid, I make mistakes, I blow things out of proportion. I end up feeling so ashamed, and upset with myself.

But You're sayin' You love me
And You're still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me

Despite my screw ups, I'm still loved. God's not giving up on me. He knows that, with his help, I'll figure it out eventually. I'm so lucky.

Megan's prayer: Stacie Orrico's "(There's Gotta Be) More to Life"

Something I constantly struggle with is not being happy with what I have, even when what I have is perfect. I'm always waiting on something other than (it). It's not something I'm proud of - it's a major flaw. I end up distancing myself from others, hurting others, and just appearing selfish and spoiled.

It's not who I really am inside, well, it's not at all who I want to be. While I do want more to life when it comes to my faith, I need God's help and grace to help me realize that my life is so wonderful, that what I all have going for me is amazing, that I am truly blessed.

Chris' prayer: Stacy Orrico's "(There's Gotta Be) More to Life"

Here in this moment I'm half-way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

A good friend of mine used to blog pretty regularly, almost daily. For quite awhile, the idea above was a constant theme. She felt like she was not being truly present and in the moment, instead finding herself getting caught up in where she had to be, or what was up next, or something just on the other side of the present. She struggled to be here in this moment.

As much as I hoped she would get past that and find someway to be present, reading about her struggle was something I never grew weary of because it is something that I constantly struggle with myself. For instance, I absolutely, positively freak out over being on time for practically everything, that I am often missing what is going on around me because I'm worried about where I have to be next. And that is a tough thing to get over, to "unlearn" old habits, to force myself to appreciate, for what it is worth, what is going on right now.


YouTube | Lyrics

Jen's prayer: Stacie Orrico's "More to Life"

There's gotta be more to life
than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me

So I just got back from seeing the movie, "17 Again" (and yes girls, Zac Efron is just as adorable in this film as in the High School Musical films). After watching this film, though, I remembered how much in high school it was all about those temporary highs. It was all about living in the moment. Even in the film they talk about how when something goes wrong it always feels like the end of the world. We have these ups and downs and that's when you realize, "There's gotta be more to life than this!"Thankfully, there is.
I'm so glad that Jesus has given a meaning to my life so I don't just keep living for temporary highs. Those highs are nice, but you always end up back down. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever, though, so that's the direction I want to stick.

Katie's prayer: Stacie Orrico's "(There's Gotta Be) More to Life"

I'm wanting more

I feel like I experience that a lot. Wanting more. If I had more time, I could do all the things I want/need to do. If I had more sleep, I would function better. If I had more money, I wouldn't have to worry about whether or not I could go out to eat with my friends. If I had more shoes, my feet would like me better.

Why am I feeling like there's something I missed...

God. I feel like God should be on that list of things I want more of. There's always more of God to get. More prayer time, deeper prayer, more trust, more whatever, there's ALWAYS more to God. But sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I become "ok" with how things are going. I become lazy in my relationship with God. And suddenly I find myself settling instead of wanting more.

Megan's prayer: Jackie François' "Your Will"

Last summer I had the easiest job ever. I was the receptionist at a construction company, and all I really did was answer phone calls and sort the mail. For the other 7 hours of the day, I would surf the internet, trying to look busy. While I was doing this, my boss was constantly running in and out of meetings, visiting job sites, etc. He was always on the move.

Some days I would be so bored sitting at my desk, I would finally ask my boss "How can you use me?" or "What am I needed for?" He always had answers. For those days, I became his wing man - answering his emails, doing research, running errands. Even though he could do just fine without me, he appreciated the help.

Sadly, I feel like my relationship with God might be similar. Sometimes I get so caught up in other things that I forget to ask God what he wants me to do. In the back of my mind I know he can do just fine without me, but what I forget is that he would do even better with me.

I pray that I can once again start actively asking God "How can you use me?" and "What am I needed for?" I know he has answers for me, he is just waiting for me to ask.

Chris' prayer: Jackie François' "Your Will"

The first thing that stuck out to me when reading the lyrics to this song was just how many times Ms. François knocks and waits for the door to be opened.

Just today, I was at Megan's apartment, standing outside her door, knocking and getting nothing in reply. Since she is in the process of moving, I only knocked twice at her old apartment before leaving to see if she was in the new one. When I got there, I knocked three times, but still had no answer. Fed up with waiting, and hearing the voices inside, I just opened the door myself and walked right in.

Two things: I didn't wait long, nor did I knock many times, at the first door. And at the second one, I knocked more, waited a little more, but did not wait until the door was opened for me.

I guess you can tell that I'm not the most patient of people. To read that Ms. François sings of knocking seven times and waiting for an answer tests my patience. I'm not sure I can do that, and if I can, it certainly won't be easy.

...but perhaps it will be worth it.


iTunes

Jen's prayer: Jackie Francois' "Your Will"

I sit here wondering
what you want from me.
I’m waiting to hear your voice.
Please speak a little louder.

I love that last line. Please speak a little louder. That's what I feel like saying to Jesus sometimes. "Hello? I'm listening! What do you want?!" Then again, I think a lot of the time I'm really not listening as well as I should be. But right now I am, and I'm hoping Jesus speaks a little louder to give me a clear answer on what His plans are for my life.

Katie's prayer: Jackie François's "Your Will"

Just tell me what to do,
’cause I need your reassurance.

It seems as if every day there is a new option for what I could do with my life. Ok, maybe not every day, since the count is really only up to 8 different options. That's still a lot of options though. I don't know which one to choose, cause I don't which one God wants me to do. I'm knocking and waiting for God to open the door and say "This is it! This is what you're supposed to do!" But it's not coming. Yet. I had to wait a long time to find out what my profession is supposed to be, I guess I'll have to wait a little bit to find out where I'm supposed to live out that profession too. Well, God, I'm waiting. Waiting to hear your voice. I'm ready and willing to do whatever you want, all you have to do is tell me!

Megan's prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "I'm Alive"

It must be something bigger that makes me feel like I do

I've recently become addicted to Stumble Upon. It takes me to random websites based on the interests I initially chose. Two of my interests included "photography" and "astronomy." What I end up with is lots of pictures of space. I'm absolutely amazed by space.

The countless number of stars. The idea of "lightyears" away. I can't comprehend just how big it is. When I look up at the stars at night, I feel so small, so insignificant. But then I think of my faith, think of the importance of my life, and I no longer feel so small.

God is so much bigger than I am - than space is. He gives us meaning. In a universe so huge, with billions of people on this one planet, he makes me feel worthwhile.

Chris' prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "I'm Alive"

…that feeling must have been a mistake.

I wish that I could bottle up all the wonderful feelings I've felt from being on retreats, attending conferences, experiencing Adoration, participating in Mass, sharing my faith with someone, and feeling God's work in my life. Despite the many experiences, the feeling that results always leaves me too quickly, leaving a hole in its wake, causing me to sometimes wonder if I ever experienced that feeling in the first place. I wish I could take out those feelings whenever needed and relive them. God's Love on tap...or something like that.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "I'm Alive"

Last week, I blogged about my newest prayer being "God, break me so all that's left of me is you" "God, I'm giving it all to you, whatever you want is what I want." For the first time, when I said those last week, I really meant it. Everyday since, I have prayed that to remind me to be open and listening and willing to follow the Father's will. There was a song that ended adoration tonight at XLT that went perfect with that. "I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now, do what you will."

It's been my prayer for almost a week now, and although I still don't know exactly what the Father's plan is, I'm still not positive on what he wants for my life, I don't know what's going to happen, I still have so much peace about the future. Just the knowledge that it's all in God's hands, I don't have to worry about it, God will tell me somehow how he wants things to go. And all I had to do to get this peace was to just let go. Let go of all those things, those stupid things, that I think I can do better and plan better than Jesus. I wish I had done so a lot sooner.

I'm alive
the moment I let go
brought passion to my soul
I'm alive
my hearts been rearranged
and never be the same
I'm alive

Jen's prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "I'm alive"

It must be something bigger that makes me feel like I do

I've often wondered how people can claim there's no God. There are so many moments in my life where I think, "There's gotta be something bigger in my life that makes me feel like this." Having that sense of peace during trying times or the joy I experience when I reach out to God...it's amazing. It makes me feel ALIVE.

I love this song, by the way.

Chris' prayer: Tree63's "Blessed Be Your Name"

I have sung this song at Mass or adoration or praise & worship or in my car or in the shower or wherever else hundreds of times. I have heard it far more often than that. I really enjoy this song and other songs like it- songs that stress the importance of praising God in the good times and in the bad, in turning to Him for all things and during all things, to see us through all things. In fact, I even made a playlist in iTunes of all such songs I have.

I think often times it is harder for me to pick out something specific about a song I know so well, to hear the line or the word that God is placing on my heart. Tonight, however, I think it is clear what the message, at least for me, is. Tonight, God wants me to know that, praise Him or not, pray to Him or not, speak of Him or not, it is my choice. Everything I do, every action I consider or take, requires a conscious effort, it requires a choice. I can choose to praise Him only when things are going well, or I can choose to praise Him always. I can choose to pray to Him only when I need something, or I can choose to pray to Him constantly, with everything I do. I can choose to speak of Him only in my small Christian circles, or I can choose to speak of Him to everyone I come in contact with. Knowing that,

My heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be Your name.

YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Tree 63's "Blessed Be Your Name"

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering

I watched the movie "I Am Sam" tonight. Although I've seen it before, it never hit me so hard as it did tonight. The father goes through so much suffering, yet all he wants is to be there for his daughter - for her to have a wonderful life.

I feel like our Heavenly Father does the same for me. Jesus went through a road marked with suffering, but it was all for me. It was so that I could have a wonderful life.

Blessed be Your name!!

Jen's prayer: Tree 63's "Blessed be Your name"

You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

You know, it's pretty hard sometimes to continue to praise and bless the name of the Lord when He takes away certain things. We sing this song in church a lot and it's interesting to sing it in different stages of my life. Sometimes I can relate to the lyrics of all the blessings God has given me so of course I want to sing praise and bless His name. Then there are other times, like now, where I feel like God is taking away certain things I want to hold onto. But I know that Jesus is all I need. No matter what God gives or takes in my life, I pray my heart will still bless His name.

Katie's prayer: Tree 63's "Blessed Be Your Name"

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Today's song reminded me of a blog I wrote a little over a year ago. I think it applies so well, that I just copied and pasted it for today. But no worries, it's something I constantly struggle with, and through this song have been reminded to try harder.

So I saw the cutest thing at church this past Sunday. There was a mom with her (about) 5 year old boy sitting in front of me. The boy was trying to place a piece of paper in the song book to mark where the next song would be. It wasn't going so well. His mom reaches over to hold the paper while he closed the book. Helping him with something so (in my mind) insignificant. He obviously thought it was significant because he immediately jumped right up and gave her a hug. Not a little hug either. It was a "without you, I'll die, so I'm going to cling really tightly" kind of hug. It didn't last very long, then he went back to doing whatever. Throughout the rest of mass, he kept reaching over at random times to give her "without you, I'll die, so I'm going to cling really tightly" hugs. Even though it seemed as if there was nothing to be thankful for.

Now, you may just see a little kid's love for his mother, but I saw something deeper. And it was Chris' comment about how on cletus youth, the prayer request topic was 5 times as big as the thankfulness prayer topic! I'm sure it's not just on there that our prayer REQUESTS way outnumber our prayers of THANKFULNESS. In that little kid, I saw how we should really be treating our Heavenly Father. Constantly THANKING Him, even if, at times, it seems as if there's nothing to be thankful for.

Since Chris' post, I've tried to come up with something everyday to be thankful for. From things like "Thank you God for the beautiful weather" to "Thank you God for the experience I had during adoration" even to "Thank you God for my struggles, for they help bring me back to You" and "Thank you God for not answering my prayers the way I wanted them answered, for I can see now, the way I wanted was not the best way."

I challenge you: Increase those prayers of thankfulness, even if it seems as if there's nothing to be thankful for.

My prayer of thankfulness today: Dear God, thank you! Thank you for this past weekend, it's exactly what I needed! Thank you for all the wonderful Totus Tuus teachers you sent our way this summer. Thank you for helping me realize I need to get back to praying the Liturgy of the Hours. Thank you for those emails from those two parishes. Thank you for helping me to realize there may be more than one option out there for me for next year. Thank you for the amazing people I spent time with at camp, and thank you for helping me think about them, and thus think about camp, often. Thank you for the rain to help the grass grow. Thank you for the job I currently have, even though it is part time, I love it. Dear God, thank you!

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "This Time"

One of the most spiritually moving experiences I've ever had was walking someone through the process of becoming Catholic. A good friend of mine had decided that the Catholic Church was where he felt at home, and decided to be Confirmed in the Church. He asked me to be his Sponsor, and what followed was four or five months of growing together. We would read the same books and discuss their merits, what we liked about the books, and what we struggled with. We talked to each other about our personal struggles and worked with each other to try to surpass those downfalls. We learned all about the Church together.

It is because of this experience that I absolutely love attending the Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday, despite being three hours long. Knowing what leads up to that moment for those preparing to enter the Church has given me a great respect and reverence for this holy service.

Sadly, this experience is also one of my most disappointing. Almost immediately after being confirmed, my friend seemed to abandon his faith life. Gone were the books we shared, the talks, the growing, the learning, everything. It was like once the process was finished, so was he. It is something that, to this day, I struggle to get past. A part of me aches, a part of me still hurts in a very real way.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure exactly how to go about moving past it. I would like to, and I've tried. But the disappointment that I felt– that I feel– still grips me tightly. I wish I could just let it go; I wish I could just walk away.



iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Kutless' " This Time"

You were the one that I looked to
I never thought I'd see you run
I never thought I'd see you turn your back on all you
knew what right

I think one of the hardest things in life is to have one of your role models make a mistake, do something that is out of character, and just seems wrong. Having built up this person in your mind to be almost perfect, and then having that image destroyed.

Maybe even worse is to be the one who makes the mistake, who turns and runs from God, even though others are looking up to me.

Instead of looking at others as the perfect role model, we must see they also make mistakes, that they too are human. Only God is the perfect role model.

Katie's prayer: Kutless' "This Time"

I feel like God sings this song to me a lot. Why'd you turn away? Why'd you run? Run til this point of breaking? I feel like it could also be a song that I sing to myself, asking myself "Hey stupid, why'd you run away?" Every time I come back I tell myself, no not this time, it's going to last for good this time, I'm not going to run away this time. Things are going to be different. But then something happens that pushes me back and it's hard to get back on track, back to where God wants me, back to where I was before I was pushed back. Sometimes it gets so hard that I do run away.
There is a constant push and pull in my faith life, but this time, THIS TIME is different. I'm going to stay for good this time God. I know I've said it before, but this time it's really really really real! The reason is this blog! I can't run away from you if I have this commitment to You (and Chris). (: There is no running away, not even walking away, this time. I won't allow it.

I see you're back again
You'll never run again
This time
No walking away
No walking away

Megan's prayer: MercyMe's "On My Way to You"

Almost there, almost where I'm supposed to be.

I've never actually made it to a point in my faith life where I was 100% satisfied. I may be happy where I'm at, but I'm always knowing there is more. I know that I'm not quite where I'm supposed to be.

I think this is a blessing - for God to show me how great my faith is, and how important it is - and yet still not let me have 100%. If I were to be exactly where I'm supposed to be, I'm afraid I'd stop pursuing more. And it's in the pursuing that I grow so much.

Katie's prayer: MercyMe's "On My Way to You"

Almost there, almost where I'm supposed to be
It's not all clear, but you keep showing me
With every step, the more my heart moves to your beat
Just like where I'm headed, there's joy in the journey

I've had my times of frustration with God about this whole I want to be a Youth Minister thing. I did my discernment, I figured it all out, God I know what you want me to do with my life! Things are great! Why don't I have a job? Why haven't I been called about interviews? They're not doing the interviews until June? Why so late? Why do I have to wait more and more and more? I'm so close to where I'm supposed to be! Why is it taking so long to get there?

As I was at a low ropes course today with a bunch of youth ministers, I realized I still have a little more to learn. I still have some information to gather from those around me. Some lifenights to go to where I can pay a little more attention to not just what's going on, but also what the youth minister does. A little more time to get more comfortable with the role I want to play. And although I haven't looked at it quite like this in the past, I realized today as I was out there, it's a blessing I had this waiting time. There really is joy in the journey, I just didn't see it before because I was so impatient.

Chris' prayer: MercyMe's "On My Way to You"

One of the things I like best about this song, and something I find myself appreciating more and more each time I listen to it, is the pace of this song. There is something about the tempo of the song that just feels so right, especially for the message. It feels like it is both pulling the listener ahead and restraining him or her. The song is not too fast, but not too slow. It is not too loud, but yet not too soft. Like the story of Goldilocks, this is the baby bear- just right.

It is a great reminder that we are in the middle of a journey. If we sprint it, we will soon grow weary. If we dawdle, we will get distracted. This song, and our spirituality is about maintaining a certain pace, a pace that will have us leaning ever so slightly forward, bringing about the next step, and bringing with it a momentum that carries us through the times where we feel like the journey is all uphill. One single step after another, I'm on my way to You.


iTunes | Lyrics

Jen's prayer: Mercy Me's "On My Way to You"

It's a little difficult to pin point just a few lyrics from this song. I copied the entire song because I thought, "YES. This ENTIRE song is my prayer to God right now."

I'm on my way to God and with every step I pray my heart moves closer to God's beat. I want him to teach me what He thinks, I want a purer heart, and I want there to be joy in this journey.

I know God has this vision for me and that slowly but surely I am making my way there, but I am only capable with His strength.

So since the whole song captures entirely the essence of my heart right now, I'm just gonna paste most of the song below:

Almost there, almost where I'm supposed to be
It's not all clear, but you keep showing me
With every step, the more my heart moves to your beat
Just like where I'm headed, there's joy in the journey

Teach me to think like you think
Show me the things that are true [ohh]
Finish the work you have started in me
As I'm on my way to you
As I'm on my way to you

Create in me a pure heart and make me new
Less of me, Jesus more of you
Here I stand, still I'm drawn down to my knees
It's not my strength, but Your's that carries me

Teach me to think like to you think
Show me the things that are true
Finish the work you have started in me
As I'm on my way to you
As I'm on my way to you
Yes I'm on my way to you

Megan's prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a Lifetime"

And you show me how to grow
Through the change

One of the biggest changes of my life was going through a break up in college. I was in a serious relationship one day, and single the next day. I wasn't quite sure how to handle that change - I didn't know who to turn to, or really what to do with my life. Everything that had made sense was suddenly gone - my world was flipped, and I was scared.

I really didn't think I'd ever be happy again. I thought that was the end - I had missed my chance. Luckily, in those hard times, I turned to God. My relationship with him grew stronger everyday, and I could finally begin to see what was important in life. I had definitely changed. I understood that relationships aren't everything. I realized it was important to turn to God - to have him help me through the rough times.

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a Lifetime"

I cannot concentrate at all tonight. My mind is all over the place and just will not settle down to pray this evening. I've restarted the song multiple times, always finding myself distracted before it ends. They aren't even important thoughts running through my mind; it is all just random unrelated musings. I wish that I could just turn it all off so that I can speak with my God, but it appears as if that isn't going to happen tonight.

It is times like this that I am thankful that I know You’re always there to my every prayer inside, even when I can't get it out.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a Lifetime"

During today's song, I was reminded of a talk I heard a few months back by Mark Hart at the FOCUS conference. It's without a doubt, one of the best talks I've EVER heard. Below is the little exerpt that I was reminded of...

"Now this is the most dangerous prayer you can ever pray, and I challenge you, if you really feel like having your life wrecked. I mean YOUR LIFE wrecked so that as St. Paul says in the Galatians, so Christ's life could really come through you, you should pray that God would ruin your life. That's like the greatest prayer ever. 'God ruin my life so that all that is left of me is what's of you.' And if you really want to have a great prayer, pray 'God, I give you permission, PERMISSION, whole-hearted surrendering abandoning permission to remove anything in my life that's keeping me from sainthood. Lord God, here you go! Take it! Break it! I don't care.' That's a dangerous prayer. I started praying that, oh it hurts, but it's a beautiful kind of hurt." -Mark Hart

I remember thinking when I heard that, "that's a great prayer, great idea Mark, but I'm just not ready for that right now." I actually have this talk in my itunes, and have listened to it at least a dozen times since the conference. And every time I hear that part I think, "no, not right now" "it's not the right time" "I don't want my life ruined, I like how it's going" "I like my plan for my life, I don't want God to ruin that plan." All great examples of the STUPIDEST EXCUSE EVER! I mean, come on Katie, you're not ready to give God permission to help you follow his PERFECT plan for your life? You don't think it's the right time to give everything completly to God? You really think the life you have now is better than anything God could help you achieve by removing those things in your life that aren't that great? Seriously! That's stupid! But even though I realize that, I'm still sitting here thinking I'm not ready, it's not time, I like the way things are going, I like the plan I have for my life, I'm not ready for what God could have planned for me. I want so badly to have God ruin my life to make it better, make it into what He wants for me, but at the same time, I'm so afraid of what that might be.

God, will you help me fall apart? Help me to realize how much I need You to ruin my life? Take me into your arms and help me realize what you have planned is much better than anything I could ever plan? Help me find my way back to you? Show me how to grow through the changes you will make in my life? God, will you ruin my life and my plans so all that's left is You and what You want for me?

Will you help me fall apart
Pick me up, take me in your arms
Find my way back from the storm
And you show me how to grow
Through the change

Jen's prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a lifetime"

And you show me how to grow
Through the change

This is a beautiful song about how God is always there for us. It's a great reminder that he's with us in the pain and trials and will never leave. Something that struck me, though, is how I also need him through this growing period in my life. I feel like I'm going to be facing a lot of changes soon and I want God there with me as I grow and change. As I spend time with God these next few days, I think my prayer is thanking him that He is with me through this growth and change.

Catie's prayer: Kutless' "Promise of a Lifetime"

Putting my understanding aside

I find myself constantly having to do this with God. We can never fully understand God, we can never fully understand why He does the things He does, anything. Sometimes, I'm perfectly okay with that. Other times, it scares me to death. It took over two months for a daycare center I applied to over Christmas break to get back to me. In that time, I had decided to apply to the Totus Tuus job to teach Catechist. I was talking to my roommate about it, because it was just very stressful when it came to hearing back from all of them and which diocese I wanted to be in and whatnot. And at one point I told her, had the daycre called me back within a reasonable time, I would have just taken the job, stayed home for the summer and that would have been that. Instead, I decided to apply for this other job, did interviews with different diocese, and was very stressed about it. Laura, my roommate, told me that if God wanted me with Totus Tuus this summer, that was his way of getting me there, by not having the daycare back so soon since I would had taken it and not thought twice about doing Totus Tuus. Sometimes, in order to better do God's will we have to do that though. We have to put our own understanding, thoughts, plans aside in order to let God come in and let God do what God does best. It is only then that we can best do God's will for our lives.

Megan's prayer: Relient K's "Getting Into You"

You say you will not dwell on what I did but rather what I do

How lucky are we to have a God that is forgiving - a God that does not base his love for us on our past.

I find it hard to not dwell in the past - too often I judge people based on what they used to be like. It's not fair - people change - but I forget that. I'm so blessed to have a God that doesn't forget.

Chris' prayer: Relient K's "Getting into You"

Megan was the pursuer in our relationship, the one who felt something more. I, on the other hand, was just fine where things were and how they were going. She was very nice, and a blast to hang out with, but a little young for me, I thought, and I didn't know if I had room for a relationship in my life at the time. So, when she told me that she had this thing for me, I tried to be as nice as I could in turning her down. "I still want to be friends," I said.

And, so that is what we did for the next couple of months. At that point, she told me she still had feelings for me and she couldn't help feeling the way she did. I told her the same things I said the first time, that I wasn't ready for a relationship, that she was too young, but that I really valued her friendship and enjoyed being around her.

But it was sometime shortly after that, that things started to change for me. I just could not deny how easily I could see God's Love for me through her, and how good she was at showing me that Love. I could not deny that I found her attractive and, despite the age difference, wondered if we could make it work somehow.

Megan had got to me. She had won me over. And it was at that point that I began getting into [her].

I think that our relationship with God can be the same way. Even when we're not ready, even when we aren't sure, God is there, wearing down our defenses, getting into us. He is constantly showing us how much He loves us and wants to be with us. And if we allow the door to be opened even just the tiniest bit, we will have no choice but to fall for Him, too.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Catie's prayer: Relient K's "Getting into You"

I'm getting into you
Because you got to me, in a way words can't describe
I'm getting into you
Because I've got to be
You're essential to survive
I'm going to love you with my life

This describes what starts my life as of Thursday. This summer I am going to be teaching Catechist to 1-12 graders. And in all honesty, I'm starting to wonder what I've gotten myself into doing this. I'm scared and yet so excited at the same time. I have this quote on my wall which is pretty much going to sum up my summer, or it will have to if I am going to survive my summer. "Your prayer life becomes what I refer to as your oxygen." -Brother Dominic Cason. However as this song says, God is essential to survive. Prayer shouldn't be something that happens what it's convenvient, when there's nothing else to do, when things are going horribly wrong. Yes, we should pray then, but that shouldn't be the only time we pray. To truly get to know God we must pray. My bible study leader this year asked us how strong our relationship would be if we had a husband and we only talked to him for two mintues before we went to bed? Wouldn't be very strong. Why would we expect to have a strong relationship with God if we only talked to Him for two minutes before we went to bed? God is essential. God makes this life bearable and worth living for. He gives us hope for something more than we have on this earth. He loves us with an unconditional love. Why wouldn't we want to spend more time with him?

Jen's prayer: Relient K's "Getting into you"

When I made up my mind
And my heart along with that
To live not for myself
But yet for God, somebody said
Do you know what you are getting yourself into

When I finally ironed out
All of my priorities
And asked God to remove the doubt
That makes me so unsure of these
Things I ask myself, I ask myself
Do you know what you are getting yourself into

I've been a liar and I'll never amount to
The kind of person you deserve to worship you
You say you will not dwell on what I did but rather what I do you say
I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into

I kind of edited the lyrics to this song down to the way I see how a faith develops...or at least how mine has been developing. The first stanza is all about how others ask, what are you getting yourself into, Jen? When I lived my life for myself and then switched to live for Jesus, there were some lifestyle changes I had to make. And to some people, it didn't make sense.

In the next stanza, when I'm living for God I find that I still have these doubts and that is when I ask myself, "What am I doing?" My flesh wants to do one thing and God is asking of something else, is this really worth it? What am I getting myself into?

Then comes the last stanza where I say, "God, I'm nothing. I'll never be who you deserve." And God says to me, "Jennifer, I love you and that's why you're getting into this." And when you sum it up to something that simple it makes all these doubts and funny looks from other people worth it. God loves me; that's reason enough to live for Him.

Katie's prayer: Relint K's "Getting Into You"

Things I ask myself, I ask myself
Do you know what you are getting yourself into

Ever since I determined it was God's will for my life to become a youth minister, I have had a few freak out moments. Moments where I really do ask myself "do you know what you are getting yourself into?!" and "Are you sure, God?" But all I have to do is pray, and my freak-out-ness disappears! Just a little prayer takes my freaking out and turns into into calmness and confidence in this plan for my life. So I guess God is positive on this plan for my life, I just wish my human self would stop getting in the way. (:

He said, I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into

Megan's prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "Jesus Movement"

Oh the joy that filled my heart
To know that I'm just a part
Of a bigger and better body

Four years ago I had the opportunity to go on the pro-life march with a local youth group. I was very nervous before going because it would be the first time that I was part of a group because of my faith. Granted, I had hung out with Catholics before, but never because we were Catholic. I had never done any activities that centered around my faith.

The thing that stands out the most from that trip was the youth rally. Thousands of people, my age, all coming together sharing a common thing - our faith. It was wonderful - it was powerful - I finally felt like I was part of something bigger - beginning to slowly grasp just how important my faith was.

Being at LifeTeen every Sunday - surrounded by people who share my faith - has almost made me numb to the feeling. While I still love and enjoy every second of it, it's hard to remember just how perfect and special it is. I long to have that renewed sense of awe and excitement again.

Chris' prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "Jesus Movement"

One of the things I love most about the Catholic Church is that, each and every Sunday, and, in fact, each and every day, Mass is being celebrated around the world in nearly the exact same way. The same prayers are being prayed, the same readings are being read, and often times, the same songs are being sung. There is a very real connectedness that I feel with my Catholic brothers and sisters thousands of miles away, because I know that they are participating in the exact same Mass that I am. It is nice to know that some things never change everywhere I go.


iTunes | Lyrics

Catie's prayers: Audio Adrenaline's "Jesus Movement"

And I found Jesus living outside the USA

OK so I'm kinda taking this outside the context of the song. But it's true. I did find Jesus living outside the USA. I found him down in El Salvador. When I was playing with the kids, I would look into their eyes and I would know I was looking into the eyes of Christ. I'm still trying to figure out how to do that in my every day life. In thinking about it I saw Christ in someone today- my grandpa. The man is a living saint. To be able to see Christ in every person, every soul, that is what we are called to do, that is what we were made for. If we were to recognize Christ in others, and got the whole world in on it, oh what a world we would have.

Katie's prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "Jesus Movement"

Imagine my surprise
To realize
Everywhere I go I can see
I'm not the only one
Moving moving to Jesus

Recently, I have found more and more people that are Catholic, and it kinda freaks me out! People I've known for YEARS but I never knew that about them. It's kinda weird, but kinda cool at the same time. If I were more vocal about my faith, maybe I wouldn't have to wait YEARS before realizing a friend shares their faith with me. (:

Jen's prayer: Audio Adrenaline's "Jesus Movement"

I went down to Mexico
Mi amigo
And I found Jesus living outside the USA

I've never heard this Audio A song, so it was a nice surprise. I like it. It's also appropriate because one of my close friends is a missionary in Mexico and recently came back for the month to raise more funds and see people. I got to talk to her yesterday about all that Jesus is doing down in Mexico. It's so good to hear Jesus is living outside the USA!

Megan's prayer: Switchfoot's "New Way to be Human"

We're still incomplete

Sometimes I think that I fall into the trap, thinking that material things will make me happy. Thinking that I can buy everything to make me happy, make me complete. It's what the media tells me - I need these things to be complete.

I'm not complete without God. My "new way to be human" is to realize that I'll always be incomplete until I give myself up to God.

Catie's prayer: Switchfoot's "New Way to be Human"

A new way to be human

I'm not quite sure I understand what this line means. I mean it could mean a whole world of things. A new way to be human. Does it mean living by God's laws? Does it mean living the Gospels? I don't know what this "new way to be human is". But I want it. Whatever it is a want a new way for living for Christ. I want God to be the center of everything I do, everything I say, everything I am. However, right now I am so far from that, I need to figure out a new way to be human.

Chris' prayer: Switchfoot's "New Way to Be Human"

We're still incomplete

In looking for a line, or a word, or a verse that grabbed me, this is the one that stuck out, but not in the context of the song. It stuck out to me, standing all by itself. I think a lot of times, I get caught up in where I am today, and how I'm doing now. And while it is important to evaluate those things, and understand what is going on now, I think I place enough emphasis on my incompleteness. I don't often remember, or acknowledge, that I am a work in progress, and that I'm going to mess up. I'm going falter. I'm going to fail. I could spend all day worrying about how poorly I'm doing, or how much better I could be doing, or I can recognize that my life is a process.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Jen's prayer: Switchfoot's "New way to be human"

Everyday it's the same thing
Another trend has begun

There's a new way to be human

A lot of times it is easy for me to get sucked into the "trends" around me. There are the fashion trends or the "you should get coffee at Starbucks like all the cool kid" trends. These "trends" can also be mindsets. It's trendy when you're young to not care about your future and just wing it. It's trendy to rebel against the parents because you're independent and don't need to. It is when I get into these every day mindsets and trends that my faith weakens. No longer am I allowing God to surprise me with His plans. I'm doing things my way, day to day, without opening my eyes to bigger possibilities. Switchfoot (I spelled it Switchfood on accident and it made me giggle. Anyways.) is saying that there's a new way to be human where we don't act like everyone else and get into this worldly mindset, and that's where true life begins.

Katie's prayer: Switchfoot's "New Way to be Human"

With all of our fashions
We're still incomplete
The God of redemption
Could break our routine

It is time for a break in my routine. Lately I feel like I've just been going through the motions. I've been making lists of things that need to get done, and I go through the list and the things get done, but my heart just isn't in it. This blog is one of the things on my list. I remember when I first started writing, I was listening to the song over and over and over again for at least a half hour, then and only then would I sit down to write anything. That half hour of listening has slowly become listen to the song twice, read the lyrics a dozen times and pick something out. This blog that was supposed to be my time of prayer with God has slowly become just another thing on my list, another thing to fill my day. I don't like that. It's time for a break in my routine. It's time to get back to listening to the song all day, praying the song all day, talking to God all day, not making a list and checking things off

Chris' prayer: Jeremy Camp's "What it Means"

The signs of all creation that you breathed

Exactly a month from now, I will be canoeing and portaging my way across Minnesota's Boundary Waters Canoe Area. Much of this land is virtually untouched (or at least unaffected) by human hand. It is, for all intents, creation just as He breathed. I'll be enjoying the beauty of this land for seven long days, and as it gets closer and closer to that date, I am becoming more and more excited. I cannot wait to reconnect with my Creator in a way that only happens when surrounded by the fullness of His creation.

Megan's prayer: Jeremy Camp's "What It Means"

Words can't even state how much you mean to me.

I don't think I'm quite able to accurately describe how much God means to me, how much my faith means to me. I've tried to tell others, but I just don't think I'm able to put this feeling into words. Many times when I pray, I'm not able to put it into words - I feel like my prayers are shallow, and it's only through my actions that I'm able to show God my love.

Katie's prayer: Jeremy Camp's "What it Means"

Written all over this place
The signs of all creation that You breathed
Words can't even state how much You mean to me

I was driving back to Kansas City this afternoon. As I was nearing home, the sun started to set, and driving the direction I was, I was lucky enough to see it. Sunsets (and when I get the energy to wake up that early, Sunrises) always, always, ALWAYS amaze me. They are soooooo beautiful, and just so amazing! I love them! Every time I see a sunset or sunrise, I think of how God made it just for me! And that makes it seem that much more beautiful and amazing. But you know, I don't always see God in all of creation, in the beautiful flowers on the side of the road, in the rain storm, in the people around me. But He's there too, I just need to look harder or pay more attention.

Catie's prayer: Jeremy Camp's "What it Means"

If only I would realize how much it took to pay the price
I know I'd always give, everything to You

I wish I understood the cross more than I do. I wish I could even begin to grasp the beautiful sacrifice that Christ made for each of us on the cross. Maybe then my life would better reflect the life of Christ. To die the most horrible death known to man out of love, that is huge. And yet there are people that don't care. There are people that don't want to hear about it, don't want to accept that love that Christ so willingly and openly offers. If we even could understand that tinyest bit how much we were loved, it would change our lives. It would change our lives so dirastically that people would notice. And then maybe, just maybe, the world might begin to see the message of love, the good that could come from giving it all up, for the one who gave it all.

Jen's prayer: Jeremy Camp's "What it means"

I want to face my very crime
Of not giving all of mine

This week I'm learning that no matter how much I read my Bible and talk to God, it doesn't matter if I'm still not giving him my ALL. There's been a constant tug of war between my flesh and my spirit and I'm starting to realize that I just have to give it all up to God.

Jesus, show me what it means to be a sacrifice. I want to sacrifice ALL of me, like you did for me. Because if I truly understood what it meant for Jesus to give all of Him, then I would easily give all of my life back to Him.

PS. I'm really sorry I forgot to post yesterday. It's been quite a week.

Catie's prayer: Steve Angrisano's "My Soul is Thirsting"

Lately I've been feeling like I've been going through the motions in my prayer life. While it is better to go through the motions then to do nothing at all, it is still bad because motions is not a relationship. My job this summer is going to require me to be doing more than just going through the motions if I am going to thrive in it (teaching Catechisist to 1st-12th grades). My soul is thirsty. My soul is need of my Lord.

My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord,
thirsting for you, my God.

Megan's prayer: Steve Angrisano's "My Soul is Thirsting"

While I'm sure my family would hate to know this, one of the things I miss the most about not living at home is my dog. Although she may not love me most of the time, during those few minutes where she shows me attention when I'm home, it's perfect. If I'm the only one home, she will follow me around anywhere I go. And on good nights that I sleep at home, she will jump up on my bed and snuggle with me while I sleep.

Through the day you walk with me;
All the night your love surrounds me.

While I'm not trying to compare God to my dog, the feelings are similar. It's such a wonderful feeling to have someone there by your side the whole day, and someone to love me at night. And unlike my dog, God will always follow me during the day, and will always be there to surround me with his love at night.

Chris' prayer: Steve Angrisano's "My Soul is Thirsting"

The other morning, I was sitting at my desk at work, feeling the dryness in my mouth. This wasn't just a the-tip-of-my-tongue-would-like-some-wetness thirst, this was a my-entire-mouth-is-screaming-for-a-Dr.-Pepper thirst. As I am wont to do while at work, I called out, "I am SOOO thirsty." My coworkers, knowing how often this occurs, didn't even blink, continuing with their work, not even acknowledging my plight.

As all encompassing as that thirst was, and as precisely as I knew what would quench it, there is a thirst that is even deeper than the tip-of-the-tongue thirst, than the entire-mouth thirst. There is a thirst way down deep inside of me, at the very heart of who I am as a person. My soul thirsts. And just like my mouth clues me in to what will satisfy it, my soul knows the same thing. My soul knows the One alone that will satisfy it, that will fill me with life, that will make me whole:

My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord,
thirsting for you, my God.

YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Katie's prayer: Steve Angrisano's "My Soul is Thirsting"

I decided to surprise my parents and come home for a few days. I got in Monday night and I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon. It's great, they totally had no idea what was going on. Amazing! I love my family, and I love my friends here in St. Chuck. There's only one downside, every time I come home, my entire schedule gets messed up! I don't know why, but it always happens. Maybe cause I'm in town so little, when I do come there's always one more person wanting to spend time with me, so I go hang out instead of whatever I'd normally be doing in KC.
Fellowship is great, it's amazing, I love it. But all this fellowship puts off my whole routine, including my routine with God, my prayer time. I almost forgot to even blog yesterday. I was about to fall asleep when I realized I hadn't listened to the song for the day, I hadn't prayed it, I hadn't even prayed AT ALL in any way! After about a day, day and a half without God, I'm kinda lost. I miss God, a lot. The refrain totally speaks to my feelings right now.

My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord,
thirsting for you, my God.
My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord,
thirsting for you, my God,
thirsting for you, my God.

Megan's prayer: Kutless' "Sea of Faces"

Ten million people each with their problems
Why should anyone care

I heard statements similar to this while working in the public city school this semester. Teachers had classes full of students, each with their own "problem". Some teachers got to the point where they just gave up - they didn't care anymore.

I was given the chance to work with these students, showing them that someone does care, and that someone is there to help them work through their problems - they were able to see a future, to find some worth in themselves.

I feel like everyone has problems, but God still cares about each and every one of us. Regardless of our problems, regardless of our attitudes, regardless of anything - he loves and cares for each of us. And that is truly amazing.

Catie's prayer: Kutless' "Sea of Faces"

To willingly offer your life

Christ did this. When He died on the cross, he willingly gave up His life so that we might have a chance at eternal life with Him. While Christ gave up His life, we are all called to do the same day in and day out. We are each called to offer our very beings up to God so that he might work through us. It is through doing that that our lives become much more than being lost in a sea of faces

Katie's prayer: Kutless' "Sea of Faces"

I was sitting in a talk one time when I heard the speaker explain how she thought when she was little (and still does think) that everyone is on this earth for a purpose. Your purpose on this earth might be as big as curing cancer or as small as smiling at somone. She knew a lady who came back to the church after 30 years because while working as a waitress, she noticed a guy praying before their meal. That guy's purpose, maybe or maybe not his only purpose, was to help that lady to go back to church, whether he knew it or not.

Often I wonder about what my purpose in life is. Why am I here? Sometimes I worry that my purpose is being forgotten about. God is kinda forgetting about my life and the purpose for my life. There are other lives and other purposes more important than mine. Today's song reminds me that's not true.

I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world, lost in a Sea of Faces.

God's not forgetting about me. Maybe it's just not my time for anything big yet. Or maybe I've made an impact and I just don't even realize it yet. Maybe my purpose is smaller than I think.

Chris' prayer: Kutless' "Sea of Faces"

I used to love Where's Waldo books when I was younger. I would spend hours first finding Waldo on every page, and then going back and finding the wizard and Wendy (is that her name?) and the dog and all sorts of stuff. I wouldn't turn the page until I had found just who or what it was I was looking for.

Sometimes, it was easy. Either Waldo would be in a relatively obvious spot, or perhaps I just happened to start at the right place, finding him in a short time. Other times, I swear it would take me hours to find him. I remember one page where everything was red and white stripes, making it nearly impossible to find him. But patiently I would search, canvassing every square inch of the page until I found him.

This song shows that my God is just like that, too. No matter where I am, whether I am lost in a sea of faces, or found standing all alone, He seeks me out, revealing Himself and His Love to me everywhere He can. He won't stop looking, and won't turn the page until He's sure that I've been found, and won't leave me ever. That thought makes me happier than finding Waldo ever did.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Jen's prayer: Kutless' "Sea of Faces"

If only my one heart
Was all you'd gain from all it cost
Well I know you would have still been a man
With a reason to willing offer your life

One of the most mind boggling parts of being a follower of Christ is trying to wrap my mind around the concept that Jesus died for ME. Jesus died for me as well as a million faces. What's crazy is that even if I was the only one on earth, Jesus still would have died just.for.me. I think that's something I forget. I often think, "Well, Jesus is out there for those other lost souls. It's not so much about me." But in a way it IS about me. I wish I could better understand how God thought of every single one of us when he let his Son die on the cross that we may all be forgiven and receive eternal life.

Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Hand"

Doin' way too much thinkin'
And it's tearing me apart

My mind always tends to jump to worst case scenario - to the point where I'm occasionally too embarrased to tell people what I'm actually worried about. So I keep it inside, letting it brew - thinking about all the possibilities of everything that could happen.

And exactly as this song says - it tears me apart. When you live in fear of things not going the right way, when you only think of the negative, life really isn't fun.

Once again, I'm reminded to put my trust in God - to not do too much thinking - to realize that He has the final say, and He loves me, and will take care of me.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Hand"

I'm doin' way too much thinkin'
And it's tearing me apart

I do a lot of thinking. That's not to say that I'm some kind of intellectual, or exceptionally deep thinker, just that I'm constantly worrying about things. One of the things I seem to constantly worry about is how my faith life is doing. Where am I on that spiritual scale? How well am I doing? How good was my last prayer, or Mass, or adoration experience?

Often times I get so caught up in thinking about how I'm doing that I forget, or lose track of, what I'm doing. How my last adoration experience went has no bearing on this one. The distractions I had during my last prayer can be absent in this prayer– if I choose to not think about them, if I choose to be present in the moment.

I think this is where a lot of my spiritual depressions lie– when I'm not able to let this prayer be this prayer and not the last prayer.


iTunes | Lyrics

Jen's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Hand"

I'm doin' way too much thinkin'
And it's tearing me apart
Then I, I feel You reach for me

This has always been my favorite few lines from the song.
I'm a firm believer in thinking things through. I try not to be impulsive about anything unless it's something fun and goofy that I know is okay to try. However, sometimes thinking about things and over analyzing can become a problem in my life. I'm focusing so much on thinking about it, that I'm not actually praying about it. Sometimes I think God is reaching down to me and saying, "Hey Jennifer, come here and just talk to me about it. Then listen to Me. Because I have the answer." And I'm like, "Oh. That's right. My bad."

Jesus, please help me remember that you're always there with the answer, it's just up to me to stop and actually listen.

Katie's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Hand"

About a week or two ago I found the perfect job for me. A youth minister position at a small church that is way cute. It's part time, but that's ok cause I could work at the diocese still instead of trying to find a replacement. And then at the end of summer, my current youth minister will be able to hire me part time at that church. And they are only 10 minutes apart. Everything was just falling into place. Most importantly, I felt that is what God was calling me to, that particular position.

So I sent in my resume, the pastor sent me an email back saying my resume looked "great!" and asking for my references. After I did that, he sent me another email saying "interviews will be held in the near future." That was a week ago, and I still haven't been contacted for an interview. I have since determined they are waiting until the deadline for applications before they do the interviews so they can do them all at once.

But until I found that out, I was freaking out! Every day! Every moment of everyday! Instead of trusting God, I was doin' way too much thinkin'. And it really was tearing me apart. But God is so amazing! He is reaching for me, and telling me everything is going to be ok.

Catie's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Hand"

Will You catch my fall?

I feel like lately my life has been one constant trust fall with God. I have my back to him ready to fall into his arms, but when I'm about ready to do so, I chicken out. I turn my head around and am like, You're really going to catch me right? Or I fall part way and then catch myself out of fear- I try to trust but can't. However, I know from experience that when closing eyes and just falling into God's arms is what works best. No fear, no anxiety, nothing. I know He's not going to drop me, He hasn't yet so why would He start now?

Chris' prayer: Matt Maher's "Void"

I remember sitting in science class in seventh grade learning about vacuums. I remember learning that I didn't really know what a vacuum actually was. I had grown up thinking that it was something that sucked other things in, just as the device we use to clean our floors does. It sucks debris, air, toys, clothes, anything it can get its hands on into itself...or so I thought.

Mrs. Bates taught me, and I will never forget exactly how she put it, that "a vacuum is nothing and does nothing." I feel like there is this vacuum, this big piece of nothing, that is built into us as humans. We can choose to fill that vacuum with anything we wish, and we often do. But there is only one thing that will truly fill that empty space inside of me– the truth in Jesus Christ.

What I want is You.

iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Matt Maher's "Void"

That would make me really happy,
If they desired my position.

Growing up, all I really wanted was to be popular. I wanted to hang out with the "cool" kids. I wanted others to want to be me. I knew what I wanted.

haha. It's funny that I actually thought I knew what would make me happy. It took years - lots of years - but I've finally realized that God knows what will make me really happy. He let me try the "popular" thing, but knew the whole time that isn't what I truly wanted in my life. He knew that wouldn't truly make me happy.

It took me a while, but I finally listened to God. Now I am really happy.

Cause what I want is you.

Jen's prayer: Matt Maher's "Void"

A few weeks ago a bible study I sometimes go to had a special night to pray just for celebrities. And these lyrics reminded me of it:

Prom-time princess, beauty queen;
see all the admiring faces.
Chasing after blind ambition,
they don't see the King of Heaven's graces.

We were talking about how these celebrities become so focused on their looks and having these fancy cars and homes and such that they can never be humbled enough to realize there is something missing in their lives. They get all these "admiring faces" toward them that they don't need anything else. The funny thing was, even though we were talking about Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, it made me realize that sometimes I can easily be just as blind. I can get caught up in shopping for name brand clothing (well, mine being more like Express, Gap or American Eagle instead of Prada or Gucci) and forget that my true riches are in Heaven. I am continually praying that God makes me realize that all I should want or need is Him.

Katie's prayer: Matt Maher's "Void"

Yesterday we had this big diocesan wide pastor and youth minister training day, all about JPII, New Evangelization and how that fits into youth ministry. Before the actual training started, we had an optional mass said by the priest who would be speaking at the training day. His homily and the few bits and pieces I caught throughout the day really struck me. Here's basically what he had to say.

God is God, and we are not. (I know, I've already blogged on that, but it ties into his next point.) The reason the way things are the way they are is because that's how the maker of the universe designed it to be! His youth minister would be totally in tune with how the Holy Spirit wanted things to go, even if that meant scraping his plans at the last minute. Even if his core team spent 4 hours making the perfect environment, if it's not what the Holy Spirit was leading him to do, it wouldn't happen.

It's so easy for me to get caught up in what I want, that I'm not focued on what the King of the universe wants for me. I'm not at in tune to God as that youth minister. But I sooooooo badly want to be. But you know, that's something I can't really accomplish on my own. I need God's help. And to get that help, I have to be willing to run to him and ask him for it.

'Cause what I want is you;
what I need is truth.
Will someone tell me that for a change?
Nothing ever holds in a world lukewarm,
so come and fill the empty space inside of me.

Catie's prayer: Matt Maher's "Void"

Jesus, won't you tell me I'm worth something?

It's funny how God uses people to tell you exactly what you need to hear. He definitely did that for me last night. Actually, He is constantly doing that. However, so many times I don't recognize it, I think people are just saying it to be nice, whatever. I don't recognize God using other people to subtly say, I haven't forgotten you, you're amazing, and I love you. Maybe if I took what God kept telling me through other people to heart, I could get out of this funk I'm in and really start living for God.

Megan's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Never Goin' Back"

These past few weeks have been a very challenging time for me. School became ridiculously busy, and I just wasn’t feeling like myself. Today I finally turned in my final paper of the semester, and was able to breathe a sigh of relief. I spent the remainder of the afternoon just relaxing in my apartment, and by the time I met up with my family for some dinner, I was giddy about the fact I was done. During dinner, both my parents and grandparents commented that the “happy Megan” was back.

I’m happy to be back, too. I really didn’t like myself these past few weeks. I didn’t treat myself right, and I didn’t treat others right. I’m so blessed to have people in my life who were able to put up with me, to see that it was only a phase, and who believed that the old Megan would be back soon.

I’m so happy it’s summer. I hope I can truly leave behind my former ways.

Jen's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Never Goin' Back"

This is like the theme song of my life this year. My new years resolution was all about not going back to my old lifestyle...moving on. And I've written about that on this blog before, so at first I thought there was nothing new to write about. But when I actually heard the song and not just read the lyrics, this is what stuck out to me:

And I won't think twice

Sometimes, to be honest, I think twice. Maybe not completely back to that old lifestyle or anything, but there are still some things I want to hold onto, ya know? Of course, that's wrong. I can't have any part of that old lifestyle, I can't think twice. I need to keep pressing onward and with God's help, I'll be able to do that.

Chris' prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Never Goin' Back"

I spent many of my childhood hours playing video games. From Nintendo, to the Genesis, to the N64, to the XBox, the Wii, and now the Playstation 3, it is a past time that is anything but past. Although I don't play nearly as much as I used to, it still ranks up there as one of my favorite things to do.

I can remember playing single games for hours at a time, going through an entire tournament in a sports game or trying to beat a platformer in a single sitting. I remember great triumphs, like 36 inning game against my friend, Doug, or the spectacular run through the defense to win the game. I also remember throwing my controllers against the wall in frustration, after the opponent scored a goal that was just too impossible to believe or after plummeting to my death when I knew that I had made that jump. I remember hitting the Reset button often in those situations- I just needed a brand new start.

Mike Weaver reminds me that Jesus is the one hitting the Reset button now. He's the one who erases all of my sins and allows me to start over and begin anew, exactly as if nothing had happened. And unlike the Reset button on my game consoles, my God's forgiveness knows no limits. It is always open to me.


iTunes | Lyrics

Catie's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Never Goin' Back"

Your love healed my broken heart
And Your love bought me a brand new start
A brand new start

I'm trying really hard to start new. I'm trying to clean my hands of what I've done in the past so that I can focus on being better. But it's hard. It's hard not only to ask for forgiveness but also to forgive myself as well. Sometimes that is easier said than done though. Healing can hurt because healing means that you are recovering from a hurt. However, healing is so good and so incredibly worth the pain that it took to get there. Even if it takes a while.

Katie's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Never Goin' Back"

Today's song reminded me of a passage I just read in Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver. This passage speaks about Judas. Judas was all about becoming more powerful and richer. He joined Jesus' crew because he believed it would help him gain what he wanted out of life. Even after all that time of following Jesus, he didn't change too much cause he betrayed him for 30 pieces of silver. Here's the one sentence that called out to me when I read it and was reminded of during today's song:

Imagine spending three years of your life with the Messiah, yet walking away more or less the same-or even worse than when you started.

Thankfully, I think I have been changed for the better. Sadly, I will still sin, because let's face it, I'm human. But there are some sins I've made that I will never make again. I have learned my lesson and I'm never going back!

I'm never goin' back
To that old place
Never goin' back
Since my past has been erased
Never goin' back
In His grace I will remain
Never goin' back
To my old ways