Katie's prayer: Francesca Battistelli's "This is the Stuff"

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff, someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I've gotta trust you know exactly what You're doing
Might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use
To break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world

Tonight’s song was very providentially picked. As I was driving into work, it came on, ending right as I reached the parking garage entrance. Because I love this song, I decided to start it over again so it would be the last song I heard before heading into work (thus the song that would be in my head half the day) and then be the first song I heard when I left for work. Little did I know that right before I’d leave work, I’d get some bad news... long, long story. Longer than most of you would be interested in. And probably a story I shouldn’t put in writing for the entire world to read.

As I was leaving, I was so focused on this problem. I start my car and hear the song, strategically starting at the refrain with ‘this is the stuff that drives me cray.’ How perfect. I just started laughing. Another God-coincidence. I immediately put the song on repeat because I knew the message God was sending me would not sink in fully after listening to it only once.

Tonight's prayer is just a thankful one for the things I do have. Yes, things are far, far from perfect. There are some problems that if I think about too hard, might make me cry. There’s nothing I can do to make this particular problem better, nothing I can do to fix it. But I think the beauty of this situation (that I realized after a few times of listening) it’s ok. Things are a mess and it’s ok. There’s got to be a reason. God’s trying to teach me patience, and maybe a little about attachment to material things, and maybe even how lucky have I am to have the problem I’m having because I at least have a job. Things could be a lot worse.

Dear God, I’m still not sure your reasoning behind this. I’m still not sure I’m ok with it. Help me to realize that it’s all ok, it’s not the end of the world, and that everything will work out just like everyone keeps telling me. Amen.