Halleluia when Your glorious wonder brings me a new start
Lord, I know that You’re walking on this road with me.
The retreat / Bosco training this past weekend was AMAZING! Tonight’s song reminded me of my favorite talk of the weekend - “Jesus, healer of hearts.” (hopefully I can explain it for you to understand) It talked about how each of us have wounds on our hearts. Things that happened to us in the past that really hurt us. Jim - the speaker - was talking about how when he tried to get help for his wounds, he was met with the same thing.... “Picture it in your head, put Jesus into the room, where is He?” etc. he talked about how he didn’t really like that solution, because it never really helped him. “Where is Jesus, He’s in the corner turned away, not watching it, letting this happen to me.”
Jim’s theory (which I totally agree with) is that Jesus isn’t in the room, He’s inside you. I’m baptized, and at least once a week Eucharized (not Jim’s word, but from our small group discussion), so Jesus is inside me. When I am hurt, when I am victimized, when I experience something that puts these wounds on my heart, those wounds are being put on Jesus’ heart as well. Jesus is experiencing it with me! He went on to talk about how if we let the wound control our lives, it starts this downward spiral that leads to depression. But if we let Jesus come in and transform the wound, then it can turn into love. And we will be able to see the love God has for us through the wound.
As I thought more about this concept, the more I realized how true it was. Wounds in my past that I’ve brought to God, I’ve been able to move past and see the good that came out it, see the ways God was moving through me to try and help with the woundedness. Dear Jesus, thank you for helping me to view my woundedness in a new way. Thank you for continuing to stay with me and be not just in the room, but inside me when I feel hurt.
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