it may hurt you but what I'm
seeing is real
This song had so much going on in it and applied to so many emotions. This line really touched me. This whole year, I've been trying to find the difference between what I want and what God wants. It's difficult sometimes, especially because I find myself thinking, "If I am happy, it is what God wants. God wants me to be happy." Except that I think I am finding that that is the problem. God does want me to be happy; not content. I have a lot of people that care about me trying to pull me up from what could become a bad situation. They tell me this constantly; the idea of it may hurt me, but this is truly the right thing to do and when I make the right choice, the end will be true happiness. But I am so afraid of giving up this temporary happiness because I can't see the path between now and the light at the end of this tunnel. I'd rather not stumble in the dark. But I need to trust God to get me there; and this song helped me realize to not say, "Why" to God, but maybe I should be saying, "Okay. How?"
The other line in this song that tugged on a soft place in my heart was the last stanza, Did my homeboy have to take his life. It's been 11 months to the day since my friend did that, and I remember that that was the only time I ever asked God "Why"? I try so hard to trust Him, but that was something I genuinely did not understand. There isn't a direct answer, but yesterday, I didn't get a chance to blog about the song "the Answer". Still, I realize that the answer to all these "why"s is just what that song says. Don't worry about it, I will lead you, all you need to do is love Me and be loved BY Me.
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