Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Fade to Grey"

I see your love is willing
To turn me inside out

But the real question right now is "Am I willing?" I want to be able to say "yes!" and have God come and completely transform me. I want to be able to give over all control of my life to God, but I have such a hard time with that.

I know God is always there, waiting for me to give him the green light and let him transform my life, but I haven't been able to yet. Some days are better than others, and I'm able to allow myself to give up that control, but it has never been to the extent that I long for.

I'm sure the fact that I fear the unknown plays a big part in why I hold on so tightly to control of my life, but what is there to fear if my life is in God's hands?

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Fade to Grey"

But in my state of blind confusion
No God can pull me out

This line caught my eye the first time I listened to this song because I didn't really understand what Dan Haseltine meant. No God can pull me out? But my God is all powerful. He can do whatever He wants. And then I remembered- He can do whatever He wants...except for one thing. He won't force Himself on us. We have the freedom to turn toward or away from God, and He respects that choice. The only reason God couldn't, or wouldn't, pull me out of a state of blind confusion would be because I don't let Him.

Sadly, there are plenty of times where I don't let God in on what I'm doing. I try to keep Him boxed up and let Him be around only when it is convenient, or only when it is easy. But blind confusion is not easy. I need to let God into the tough times, into all times.


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Catie's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Fade to Grey"

They keep me in chains and I wish they'd release me

I know many times it is not the world that is keeping me chained, but it is myself. I've noticed lately how much a hold on to my sin. Instead of letting God take the weight, take my sin, I hold on because I have trouble forgiving myself. It's something I've talked to others about before but it is something that is so much easier said than done. For me, it is so much easier to forgive others than it is for me to forgive myself. But if God, who is all-knowing and knows every sin I've ever committed and yet is able to forgive me, why shouldn't I forgive myself?

Katie's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Fade to Grey"

Your trance of love is seeking

(I know the line goes past that, but I'm stopping it there.)
It's so easy for me to think "God love us" but much harder for me to think "God loves me." I know God loves me, but I can't ever seem to realize just how much He loves me. Even if I was the only person on earth, Jesus still would have come and died for me. He not only loves me, He's seeking me out, because of this love! I'm like a little wandering kid in a toy store, and God, my Father, is constantly running after me to bring me back to Him because He loves me and He knows that's what's best for me. I'm praying I'll be able to stay close to God this time. I'm praying I won't be so easily distracted by the many shinny, distracting toys.

Jen's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Fade to Grey"

And if you follow me
You'll see all the black, all the white fade to grey

As a follower of Christ, I see most things in black and white. The Bible makes it pretty clear what is right and wrong. So when I was reading the Fade to Grey lyrics I got a bit confused. Why, if I'm following God, would things go from black and white to grey? I was thinking, doesn't God want us to be hot or cold, not lukewarm? Why would we want to fade to grey? Doesn't that mean we aren't standing strong in our beliefs?

After I talked it out with my mom I realized this is a different kind of black and white. So often religious people see things black and white. We should do this to become saved, and this to lead others to Christ and sinners do this, etc. A good example is the Pharisees in the Bible. They did all the right things, but there was no faith involved. Jesus got super annoyed by the Pharisees. However, when we embrace Jesus and his teachings and become more like Him, our thinking begins to change. We are humbled and realize how little we know. Things aren't so black and white because we're continually realizing the greatness of God and how little we are in comparison. Things fade from black and white to grey because it's less of us and more of God. When we allow God to turn us "inside out" as the song says, we are humbled and challenged in our beliefs because we're having a more Christ-like outlook on things instead. Basically, this song is reminding me that I need to decrease so He can increase.

Does that make sense?