Katie's prayer: By the Tree's "Invade my Soul"

So the one thing I noticed about this song was how it so easily changed sounds. It starts off slow, speeds up, gets louder, and there's a random quiet really slow no drum very little guitar almost total a cappella part. As I noticed this, I realized that my faith life is kinda like that, at times more vibrant, more noticeable, and at other times - like that random quiet bit - my faith life almost disappears.

Recently, I hit that quiet bit. Maybe 1.5-2 weeks ago I stopped feeling God around me. I don't know why it stopped, but it did. I still prayed, and still did everything; hoping that feeling would come back. It didn't. It still hasn't. Last Thursday or Friday though, I almost totally gave up. I began to think: without that feeling that God's there, why bother praying? Why bother trying? It won't matter, I won't feel Him. I didn't want to blog on Thursday, I didn't blog at all on Friday, mainly cause I had no time to, but also because I didn't want to. Today was the first day since last Wednesday that I did morning prayer. In the past week, I've done night prayer maybe once or twice.

But today is a new day. And today is where that quiet part suddenly becomes the loud part again. Because today, I made up my mind to continue with the praying. Continue even though I don't feel God, continue even when I don't want to or feel pressure not to. That feeling of 'God is with me' is not important. The fact that I feel it or not feel it does not change the fact that God is there.

I'm coming back, coming back to You!