Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Hand"

Doin' way too much thinkin'
And it's tearing me apart

My mind always tends to jump to worst case scenario - to the point where I'm occasionally too embarrased to tell people what I'm actually worried about. So I keep it inside, letting it brew - thinking about all the possibilities of everything that could happen.

And exactly as this song says - it tears me apart. When you live in fear of things not going the right way, when you only think of the negative, life really isn't fun.

Once again, I'm reminded to put my trust in God - to not do too much thinking - to realize that He has the final say, and He loves me, and will take care of me.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Hand"

I'm doin' way too much thinkin'
And it's tearing me apart

I do a lot of thinking. That's not to say that I'm some kind of intellectual, or exceptionally deep thinker, just that I'm constantly worrying about things. One of the things I seem to constantly worry about is how my faith life is doing. Where am I on that spiritual scale? How well am I doing? How good was my last prayer, or Mass, or adoration experience?

Often times I get so caught up in thinking about how I'm doing that I forget, or lose track of, what I'm doing. How my last adoration experience went has no bearing on this one. The distractions I had during my last prayer can be absent in this prayer– if I choose to not think about them, if I choose to be present in the moment.

I think this is where a lot of my spiritual depressions lie– when I'm not able to let this prayer be this prayer and not the last prayer.


iTunes | Lyrics

Jen's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Hand"

I'm doin' way too much thinkin'
And it's tearing me apart
Then I, I feel You reach for me

This has always been my favorite few lines from the song.
I'm a firm believer in thinking things through. I try not to be impulsive about anything unless it's something fun and goofy that I know is okay to try. However, sometimes thinking about things and over analyzing can become a problem in my life. I'm focusing so much on thinking about it, that I'm not actually praying about it. Sometimes I think God is reaching down to me and saying, "Hey Jennifer, come here and just talk to me about it. Then listen to Me. Because I have the answer." And I'm like, "Oh. That's right. My bad."

Jesus, please help me remember that you're always there with the answer, it's just up to me to stop and actually listen.

Katie's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Hand"

About a week or two ago I found the perfect job for me. A youth minister position at a small church that is way cute. It's part time, but that's ok cause I could work at the diocese still instead of trying to find a replacement. And then at the end of summer, my current youth minister will be able to hire me part time at that church. And they are only 10 minutes apart. Everything was just falling into place. Most importantly, I felt that is what God was calling me to, that particular position.

So I sent in my resume, the pastor sent me an email back saying my resume looked "great!" and asking for my references. After I did that, he sent me another email saying "interviews will be held in the near future." That was a week ago, and I still haven't been contacted for an interview. I have since determined they are waiting until the deadline for applications before they do the interviews so they can do them all at once.

But until I found that out, I was freaking out! Every day! Every moment of everyday! Instead of trusting God, I was doin' way too much thinkin'. And it really was tearing me apart. But God is so amazing! He is reaching for me, and telling me everything is going to be ok.

Catie's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Hand"

Will You catch my fall?

I feel like lately my life has been one constant trust fall with God. I have my back to him ready to fall into his arms, but when I'm about ready to do so, I chicken out. I turn my head around and am like, You're really going to catch me right? Or I fall part way and then catch myself out of fear- I try to trust but can't. However, I know from experience that when closing eyes and just falling into God's arms is what works best. No fear, no anxiety, nothing. I know He's not going to drop me, He hasn't yet so why would He start now?

Chris' prayer: Matt Maher's "Void"

I remember sitting in science class in seventh grade learning about vacuums. I remember learning that I didn't really know what a vacuum actually was. I had grown up thinking that it was something that sucked other things in, just as the device we use to clean our floors does. It sucks debris, air, toys, clothes, anything it can get its hands on into itself...or so I thought.

Mrs. Bates taught me, and I will never forget exactly how she put it, that "a vacuum is nothing and does nothing." I feel like there is this vacuum, this big piece of nothing, that is built into us as humans. We can choose to fill that vacuum with anything we wish, and we often do. But there is only one thing that will truly fill that empty space inside of me– the truth in Jesus Christ.

What I want is You.

iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Matt Maher's "Void"

That would make me really happy,
If they desired my position.

Growing up, all I really wanted was to be popular. I wanted to hang out with the "cool" kids. I wanted others to want to be me. I knew what I wanted.

haha. It's funny that I actually thought I knew what would make me happy. It took years - lots of years - but I've finally realized that God knows what will make me really happy. He let me try the "popular" thing, but knew the whole time that isn't what I truly wanted in my life. He knew that wouldn't truly make me happy.

It took me a while, but I finally listened to God. Now I am really happy.

Cause what I want is you.

Jen's prayer: Matt Maher's "Void"

A few weeks ago a bible study I sometimes go to had a special night to pray just for celebrities. And these lyrics reminded me of it:

Prom-time princess, beauty queen;
see all the admiring faces.
Chasing after blind ambition,
they don't see the King of Heaven's graces.

We were talking about how these celebrities become so focused on their looks and having these fancy cars and homes and such that they can never be humbled enough to realize there is something missing in their lives. They get all these "admiring faces" toward them that they don't need anything else. The funny thing was, even though we were talking about Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, it made me realize that sometimes I can easily be just as blind. I can get caught up in shopping for name brand clothing (well, mine being more like Express, Gap or American Eagle instead of Prada or Gucci) and forget that my true riches are in Heaven. I am continually praying that God makes me realize that all I should want or need is Him.

Katie's prayer: Matt Maher's "Void"

Yesterday we had this big diocesan wide pastor and youth minister training day, all about JPII, New Evangelization and how that fits into youth ministry. Before the actual training started, we had an optional mass said by the priest who would be speaking at the training day. His homily and the few bits and pieces I caught throughout the day really struck me. Here's basically what he had to say.

God is God, and we are not. (I know, I've already blogged on that, but it ties into his next point.) The reason the way things are the way they are is because that's how the maker of the universe designed it to be! His youth minister would be totally in tune with how the Holy Spirit wanted things to go, even if that meant scraping his plans at the last minute. Even if his core team spent 4 hours making the perfect environment, if it's not what the Holy Spirit was leading him to do, it wouldn't happen.

It's so easy for me to get caught up in what I want, that I'm not focued on what the King of the universe wants for me. I'm not at in tune to God as that youth minister. But I sooooooo badly want to be. But you know, that's something I can't really accomplish on my own. I need God's help. And to get that help, I have to be willing to run to him and ask him for it.

'Cause what I want is you;
what I need is truth.
Will someone tell me that for a change?
Nothing ever holds in a world lukewarm,
so come and fill the empty space inside of me.

Catie's prayer: Matt Maher's "Void"

Jesus, won't you tell me I'm worth something?

It's funny how God uses people to tell you exactly what you need to hear. He definitely did that for me last night. Actually, He is constantly doing that. However, so many times I don't recognize it, I think people are just saying it to be nice, whatever. I don't recognize God using other people to subtly say, I haven't forgotten you, you're amazing, and I love you. Maybe if I took what God kept telling me through other people to heart, I could get out of this funk I'm in and really start living for God.

Megan's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Never Goin' Back"

These past few weeks have been a very challenging time for me. School became ridiculously busy, and I just wasn’t feeling like myself. Today I finally turned in my final paper of the semester, and was able to breathe a sigh of relief. I spent the remainder of the afternoon just relaxing in my apartment, and by the time I met up with my family for some dinner, I was giddy about the fact I was done. During dinner, both my parents and grandparents commented that the “happy Megan” was back.

I’m happy to be back, too. I really didn’t like myself these past few weeks. I didn’t treat myself right, and I didn’t treat others right. I’m so blessed to have people in my life who were able to put up with me, to see that it was only a phase, and who believed that the old Megan would be back soon.

I’m so happy it’s summer. I hope I can truly leave behind my former ways.

Jen's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Never Goin' Back"

This is like the theme song of my life this year. My new years resolution was all about not going back to my old lifestyle...moving on. And I've written about that on this blog before, so at first I thought there was nothing new to write about. But when I actually heard the song and not just read the lyrics, this is what stuck out to me:

And I won't think twice

Sometimes, to be honest, I think twice. Maybe not completely back to that old lifestyle or anything, but there are still some things I want to hold onto, ya know? Of course, that's wrong. I can't have any part of that old lifestyle, I can't think twice. I need to keep pressing onward and with God's help, I'll be able to do that.

Chris' prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Never Goin' Back"

I spent many of my childhood hours playing video games. From Nintendo, to the Genesis, to the N64, to the XBox, the Wii, and now the Playstation 3, it is a past time that is anything but past. Although I don't play nearly as much as I used to, it still ranks up there as one of my favorite things to do.

I can remember playing single games for hours at a time, going through an entire tournament in a sports game or trying to beat a platformer in a single sitting. I remember great triumphs, like 36 inning game against my friend, Doug, or the spectacular run through the defense to win the game. I also remember throwing my controllers against the wall in frustration, after the opponent scored a goal that was just too impossible to believe or after plummeting to my death when I knew that I had made that jump. I remember hitting the Reset button often in those situations- I just needed a brand new start.

Mike Weaver reminds me that Jesus is the one hitting the Reset button now. He's the one who erases all of my sins and allows me to start over and begin anew, exactly as if nothing had happened. And unlike the Reset button on my game consoles, my God's forgiveness knows no limits. It is always open to me.


iTunes | Lyrics

Catie's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Never Goin' Back"

Your love healed my broken heart
And Your love bought me a brand new start
A brand new start

I'm trying really hard to start new. I'm trying to clean my hands of what I've done in the past so that I can focus on being better. But it's hard. It's hard not only to ask for forgiveness but also to forgive myself as well. Sometimes that is easier said than done though. Healing can hurt because healing means that you are recovering from a hurt. However, healing is so good and so incredibly worth the pain that it took to get there. Even if it takes a while.

Katie's prayer: Big Daddy Weave's "Never Goin' Back"

Today's song reminded me of a passage I just read in Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver. This passage speaks about Judas. Judas was all about becoming more powerful and richer. He joined Jesus' crew because he believed it would help him gain what he wanted out of life. Even after all that time of following Jesus, he didn't change too much cause he betrayed him for 30 pieces of silver. Here's the one sentence that called out to me when I read it and was reminded of during today's song:

Imagine spending three years of your life with the Messiah, yet walking away more or less the same-or even worse than when you started.

Thankfully, I think I have been changed for the better. Sadly, I will still sin, because let's face it, I'm human. But there are some sins I've made that I will never make again. I have learned my lesson and I'm never going back!

I'm never goin' back
To that old place
Never goin' back
Since my past has been erased
Never goin' back
In His grace I will remain
Never goin' back
To my old ways

Megan's prayer: Chris Rice's "Cartoons"

Instead of just listening to the song tonight, I choose to watch the youtube video. I got a kick out of the whole premise of the song - combining what seemed to be secular cartoon characters and the idea of being saved.

It was a fun song. I enjoyed the video, and it actually got me thinking - is it okay to combine these sorts of things? Does it seem sacrilegious or wrong in anyway?

This whole idea reminded me of a pro-life trip I attended a few years back. During the bus ride back to St. Louis, we ended up having a Mass. Right there - as we traveled down the highway, waving in and out of cars, Fr. Jeff celebrated an entire Mass. Going to communion on a moving bus was quite the experience.

Some may think this Mass is a bit irreverent - that Mass should be kept in the church, or a more holy place than a dirty bus, but I disagree. The experience of bringing my faith into bus ride really made an impression on me. It may be one of the top Masses I have ever attended. It helped to show me that faith is not just something to be kept in a church, to be talked about on Sundays - but it should be in ever aspect of our lives, whether that includes watching cartoons or riding on dirty buses.

Catie's prayer: Chris Rice's "Cartoons"

It's our job
So, let's sing hallelujah

It is our job to sing praises to our Lord. Whether it be the worst day ever or the best day of our life. God is still God, God is still there for us. Therefore we have all the more reason to sing hallelujah.

Chris' prayer: Chris Rice's "Cartoons"

I must confess, I'm one of the people Katie talks about in her prayer. The line that she speaks of ruins the whole song for me. I understand that it is a light-hearted song, and is not meant to be taken seriously. That, I can appreciate. But what bothers me is the exclusion of Beavis and Butthead.

The exclusion either marks the two as being unworthy of being saved (we all are), beyond God's ability to redeem (no one is), or both. The truth is, we should hope for the redemption of all of our brothers and sisters. I see no cartoons mentioned in Rice's song that are without some fault, and I don't claim to be faultless either. But just as I hope that I will be redeemed by God's Love, I am called to hope for the salvation of others with lives half-full, three-quarters-full, or just plain full of sin.



YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Jen's prayer: Chris Rice's "Cartoons"

Just like Katie, I've always loved this song. It's a fun reminder on what our purpose in life is: to worship God. As Chris Rice says, "It's our job." I think the important thing to realize is that worship isn't just singing. We worship God in everything we do. I'm no Bible guru, but I know it talks about ways to worship God in that Book. :) And I think I'm going to spend some time tonight asking God, "If worshiping is my job, in what ways am I lacking? How can I do better at my job?"

Katie's prayer: Chris Rice's "Cartoons"

I love this song! I have loved it from the first moment I heard it! I immediately ran to the internet to search for more about this artist and for lyrics so I could sing along right away. I remember running across an interview with Chris Rice about the song. I can't find the exact one I read, but here's a similar one.... (click me!) Apparently, not everyone loves the song. While the article I linked mentions many reasons, the one I read mentioned only one... the lyrics 'How about Beavis and that other guy? Nah!!' were suggesting that Beavis and 'that other guy' were not worthy of being saved. That totally is not what Chris meant by that, but I do think that I have the tendency of falling into that trap sometimes. Categorizing people into 'you're worthy' and 'you're not.' I don't do it often, but I do it way more than I should.