Chris' prayer: Andy Cloninger's "Great is the Lord in Zion"

Each Tuesday, I spend an hour of my day with Jesus in Adoration, usually reading something spiritual. Today's spiritual reading was Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan and Danae Yankoski. I didn't make it too far into the book, but what I did read about was pretty good. The authors spoke about how only God is "holy," which means "spiritually and morally perfect," and that all holy things come from Him. And for that, we are to worship Him.

Tonight's song echos that sentiment:

He is exalted over all the nations
Let them praise Your great and awesome name
We sing Holy, We sing Holy, We sing Holy
Is Your great and awesome name

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Jen's prayer: Andy Cloninger's "Great is the Lord in Zion"

When you're raised with a Christian background like me, summer means the time to get your Jesus freak on. Ha. Or in other words, reconnect with Jesus. When I was in middle school and high school, summer meant camps and Christian music festivals popping up everywhere. I always needed something to help refocus and direct my life back to Christ before school started back up in the fall.

I was reading Megan's post and thinking about my faith and how it's not nearly as on fire as it used to be back in high school when I had camps or Christian music festivals to attend. When Andy sings, "I wanna dance, I wanna sing" that's what summer was all about. You praised Jesus. And thus, you felt Jesus. And I was thinking about how Megan said something about not feeling Jesus' spirit as much or something and I was thinking, "Yeah, I'm not on fire either!" But the thing is, I KNOW my faith is more mature than it was in high school. I may not FEEL like I did back then with that pumped up energy, but that doesn't mean Jesus isn't there. I shouldn't rely on a camp or festival to bring back that zeal, I should just press forward on my own. And I'm glad this song and Megan's post could help me realize that.

Megan's prayer: Andy Cloninger's "Great is the Lord of Zion"

To be honest, my faith life is no where near where I want it to be. And it's nowhere near where it used to be. Last summer, God's love for me was so intense, it was almost tangible. I could feel it everywhere around me. There was no question as to whether or not I was loved.

Things have changed a little. Although I know God still loves me, and can see it, I'm having a hard time feeling it. The joy in my faith has been lost a little, and I'm not sure what to attribute that to. Having to remind myself that God loves me is a little different than just constantly experiencing it.

I want to rediscover those days of pure and constantly love from God. While I know it isn't gone cause I can see it, I need help figuring out how to feel it. I want back those days of pure joy in my faith.

I wanna dance
I wanna shout
I wanna sing "Hallelujah"

Katie's prayer: Andy Cloninger's "Great is the Lord in Zion"

The one thing that struck me about this song was it was basically the same 4 lines over and over again. (except for one little bit in the middle) You'd think that 3.5 minutes of the same 4 lines would get kinda boring after a while. And after listening to the song non-stop for 30 minutes, hearing the same thing over and over again would become annoying. But strangely, that's not the case. I never get tired of hearing Andy sing:

Great is the Lord in Zion
He is exalted over all the nations
Let them praise your great and awesome name.
Holy, Holy, Holy, is your great and awesome name.

And if I never get tired of hearing it, then the same must be true for God. We all know God is great and awesome and holy, but how often to we proclaim that? How often do I proclaim that, or more accurately, how little do I proclaim that? Last Monday, I talked about increasing those prayers of thankfulness. I think today's lesson is about increasing those prayers of affirmation.

Great is the Lord in Zion
He is exalted over all the nations
Let them praise your great and awesome name.
Holy, Holy, Holy, is your great and awesome name.

Megan's prayer: Plumb's "Stranded"

And I wanna be with you

I know, for sure, that I want to be with God. I want to serve him, I want to honor him, I want to live my life for him. No matter what I do, or where I am, I want to be with God.

And you wanna be with me

A much harder reality for me to accept is God wanting to be with me. While I want to believe it's true, and *do* believe it is true most of the time, there are those times of doubt. Those times where I have to convince myself God wants me, instead of it being a natural feeling inside.

At this point, I'm not sure how to make it a more instinctual feeling, but my prayer for today is that I can continue on the path to always knowing that God loves me.

Chris' prayer: Plumb's "Stranded"

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word stranded is having a car break down miles from everywhere and not knowing what exactly to do.

Fortunately, this has really only happened to me once, where I was too far from anyone I knew who could help me. I don't recall what happened to the car, but I remember I was stuck on the side of the highway just more than halfway to school, but still so far. I was lucky, too, that there was a random subdivision in the middle of this nowhere, where I could borrow a phone.

I called a friend of mine who was more than happy to skip dinner and make the hour and a half trip to come rescue me, pretending like it was no big deal, and not allowing me to pay for her meal, her gas, or her time. I was rescued- for free.

This image has always stuck with me as that of my Heavenly Father. Rescuing me from all the troubles in my life, and not asking for anything in return. He just wants to save me.

Katie's prayer: Plumb's "Stranded

Today was not the best day for me and God. I tried, I started out with morning prayer, I went for my walk with Jesus, I listened to today's song over and over and over again. Ok, so maybe morning prayer was said in my bed with a yawn after every paragraph. Maybe I had to force myself to go for the walk and when I did get out there, all I did was complain, about my life, about the weather, about everything. Maybe I didn't actually pay attention to what I was listening to when I was listening to the song. Maybe I didn't try as hard as I should have. Maybe that's why I felt a little stranded today.

I miss you, I need you
Without you, I'm stranded
I love you so come back

Jen's prayer: Plumb's "Stranded"

It's hard for me to look at this song as being about God, because when I used to listen to Plumb, this was always a boy/girl song...probably because at the end it says "Oh baby I miss you." I don't usually talk to God like that. Ha. Buuuut there is something I was thinking about at the beginning when the lyrics go...

And I wanna be with you
And you wanna be with me

If I WANT to be with God. And God WANTS to be with me...what's the problem? Why can't it just be that simple? Well, I'll tell you why...I let the worldly stuff get in the way. But I am praying that I can simplify it down to the basics...God wants me to draw close to Him and so that is what I shall do.

Jen's prayer: Chris Rice's "Clumsy"

I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless

I relate a lot to this song. People who know me well know I'm not the most ... graceful person. They also know that even though I can appear pretty smart since I graduated from college early, I can be pretty stupid sometimes too. And I can be really foolish when it comes to me ignoring God's voice. And it can be during these points where I feel absolutely useless. I don't even know why God would want to use me as a vessel to do his work. Because let's face, I'm pretty hopeless sometimes. Luckily, Chris Rice goes onto say in this song, that the good thing is God still wants me and still wants to be near me. God doesn't give up on me as easily as I sometimes give up on myself. And if God, the maker of heaven and earth, the very guy who could strike us all dead if He so chose, isn't going to give up on ME, then why should I give up on me?

Katie's prayer: Chris Rice's "Clumsy"

From where I stand
Your holiness is up so high I can never reach it

(I realize what I'm about to say is probably not what the singer or songwriter intended for this part of the song, but gosh darn it, it's my prayer and I can make it whatever I want) (:

I have a big problem of measuring my holiness by the holiness of those around me. Sometimes by telling myself it's ok if I didn't do morning prayer today, so and so never does morning prayer. Yeah, this isn't the best thing for me to be doing, but this person whose faith I admire is doing it, so it must be ok, right? Sometimes I glorify those around me, and thus try to be just like them. I know this isn't my favorite way of praying, this isn't a way I normally feel God, but so and so prays like this and says the feel God through this kind of prayer, so I should do it. I should abandon my ways of praying to pray just like this person. I even have thoughts that everyone around me is WAY holier than I am or could ever be. I'm the only one who has trouble with this sin, I'm the only one that experiences dips in faith life, I'm the only one without a deep prayer life.

But that's stupid. Other people should not affect my relationship with God. I shouldn't be looking at the relationships of those around me with God, I should only be focused on my relationship with God. It shouldn't matter if so and so is doing such and such sin, that doesn't give me permission to do it. It shouldn't matter how so and so prays, I should concentrate on my own prayer life, and how I want to pray. I need to keep my eyes focused on God, and everything else will fall into place.

My only hope is to fall on Jesus.

Chris' prayer: Chris Rice's "Clumsy"

And that You wanna be near me

I can be pretty mean sometimes. I can be ornery, and spiteful, and selfish. I can lash out and I am the best at making absolutely nothing ever my fault. I'm good at deflecting blame and I'm very good at being in a bad mood. In short, I can be very good at not being Christian at all.

When I'm able to recognize this mood, I cannot understand why anyone at all would want to be around me. Why would anyone want to put up with my stupidity and selfishness? But whether it is my girlfriend, or a friend or family member, or simply God telling me they want to hang out, I am reminded once again that love really does conquer all things.

Even me.


YouTube | iTunes | Lyrics

Megan's prayer: Chris Rice's "Clumsy"

I get so foolish
I get so stupid

I've definitely felt this way recently. I do something stupid, I make mistakes, I blow things out of proportion. I end up feeling so ashamed, and upset with myself.

But You're sayin' You love me
And You're still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me

Despite my screw ups, I'm still loved. God's not giving up on me. He knows that, with his help, I'll figure it out eventually. I'm so lucky.

Megan's prayer: Stacie Orrico's "(There's Gotta Be) More to Life"

Something I constantly struggle with is not being happy with what I have, even when what I have is perfect. I'm always waiting on something other than (it). It's not something I'm proud of - it's a major flaw. I end up distancing myself from others, hurting others, and just appearing selfish and spoiled.

It's not who I really am inside, well, it's not at all who I want to be. While I do want more to life when it comes to my faith, I need God's help and grace to help me realize that my life is so wonderful, that what I all have going for me is amazing, that I am truly blessed.

Chris' prayer: Stacy Orrico's "(There's Gotta Be) More to Life"

Here in this moment I'm half-way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

A good friend of mine used to blog pretty regularly, almost daily. For quite awhile, the idea above was a constant theme. She felt like she was not being truly present and in the moment, instead finding herself getting caught up in where she had to be, or what was up next, or something just on the other side of the present. She struggled to be here in this moment.

As much as I hoped she would get past that and find someway to be present, reading about her struggle was something I never grew weary of because it is something that I constantly struggle with myself. For instance, I absolutely, positively freak out over being on time for practically everything, that I am often missing what is going on around me because I'm worried about where I have to be next. And that is a tough thing to get over, to "unlearn" old habits, to force myself to appreciate, for what it is worth, what is going on right now.


YouTube | Lyrics

Jen's prayer: Stacie Orrico's "More to Life"

There's gotta be more to life
than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me

So I just got back from seeing the movie, "17 Again" (and yes girls, Zac Efron is just as adorable in this film as in the High School Musical films). After watching this film, though, I remembered how much in high school it was all about those temporary highs. It was all about living in the moment. Even in the film they talk about how when something goes wrong it always feels like the end of the world. We have these ups and downs and that's when you realize, "There's gotta be more to life than this!"Thankfully, there is.
I'm so glad that Jesus has given a meaning to my life so I don't just keep living for temporary highs. Those highs are nice, but you always end up back down. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever, though, so that's the direction I want to stick.

Katie's prayer: Stacie Orrico's "(There's Gotta Be) More to Life"

I'm wanting more

I feel like I experience that a lot. Wanting more. If I had more time, I could do all the things I want/need to do. If I had more sleep, I would function better. If I had more money, I wouldn't have to worry about whether or not I could go out to eat with my friends. If I had more shoes, my feet would like me better.

Why am I feeling like there's something I missed...

God. I feel like God should be on that list of things I want more of. There's always more of God to get. More prayer time, deeper prayer, more trust, more whatever, there's ALWAYS more to God. But sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I become "ok" with how things are going. I become lazy in my relationship with God. And suddenly I find myself settling instead of wanting more.

Megan's prayer: Jackie François' "Your Will"

Last summer I had the easiest job ever. I was the receptionist at a construction company, and all I really did was answer phone calls and sort the mail. For the other 7 hours of the day, I would surf the internet, trying to look busy. While I was doing this, my boss was constantly running in and out of meetings, visiting job sites, etc. He was always on the move.

Some days I would be so bored sitting at my desk, I would finally ask my boss "How can you use me?" or "What am I needed for?" He always had answers. For those days, I became his wing man - answering his emails, doing research, running errands. Even though he could do just fine without me, he appreciated the help.

Sadly, I feel like my relationship with God might be similar. Sometimes I get so caught up in other things that I forget to ask God what he wants me to do. In the back of my mind I know he can do just fine without me, but what I forget is that he would do even better with me.

I pray that I can once again start actively asking God "How can you use me?" and "What am I needed for?" I know he has answers for me, he is just waiting for me to ask.

Chris' prayer: Jackie François' "Your Will"

The first thing that stuck out to me when reading the lyrics to this song was just how many times Ms. François knocks and waits for the door to be opened.

Just today, I was at Megan's apartment, standing outside her door, knocking and getting nothing in reply. Since she is in the process of moving, I only knocked twice at her old apartment before leaving to see if she was in the new one. When I got there, I knocked three times, but still had no answer. Fed up with waiting, and hearing the voices inside, I just opened the door myself and walked right in.

Two things: I didn't wait long, nor did I knock many times, at the first door. And at the second one, I knocked more, waited a little more, but did not wait until the door was opened for me.

I guess you can tell that I'm not the most patient of people. To read that Ms. François sings of knocking seven times and waiting for an answer tests my patience. I'm not sure I can do that, and if I can, it certainly won't be easy.

...but perhaps it will be worth it.


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Jen's prayer: Jackie Francois' "Your Will"

I sit here wondering
what you want from me.
I’m waiting to hear your voice.
Please speak a little louder.

I love that last line. Please speak a little louder. That's what I feel like saying to Jesus sometimes. "Hello? I'm listening! What do you want?!" Then again, I think a lot of the time I'm really not listening as well as I should be. But right now I am, and I'm hoping Jesus speaks a little louder to give me a clear answer on what His plans are for my life.

Katie's prayer: Jackie François's "Your Will"

Just tell me what to do,
’cause I need your reassurance.

It seems as if every day there is a new option for what I could do with my life. Ok, maybe not every day, since the count is really only up to 8 different options. That's still a lot of options though. I don't know which one to choose, cause I don't which one God wants me to do. I'm knocking and waiting for God to open the door and say "This is it! This is what you're supposed to do!" But it's not coming. Yet. I had to wait a long time to find out what my profession is supposed to be, I guess I'll have to wait a little bit to find out where I'm supposed to live out that profession too. Well, God, I'm waiting. Waiting to hear your voice. I'm ready and willing to do whatever you want, all you have to do is tell me!