Erinnicole's Prayer: Falling Up's "Places"

This is where my heart it longs to be

Hurting You, Needing You

This is exactly where my heart is. It hurts because I need God. i hate that i let so many things in my life come in the way of my relationship with God. I was actually thinking about this a lot yesterday because i was trying to come up with some things for REAP talks and i was just generally thinking about picking my friends over Jesus. the argument i put to it was, "i dont know why i do that, because i can always hang out with my friends the next weekend or day so why cant i spend time with Jesus?" but then the other side of me replied, "well hey erin, doesn't jesus always want to spend time with you? won't he always be waiting his turn? it isnt like he would desert you after a few ditches like your 'friends' would, right?" it was kind of a weird thought and my solution was this: why can't i just bring Jesus with me? i understand that it is difficult but that will be my newest personal prayer intention because i know for certain that if i bring God back into my life 100% like He always has been, then all of the other things will fall into place.....o that was weird...this song was "falling up's places"...falling up into place....i adore wordplay.

Marie's Prayer: Falling Up's "Places"

This is where I'm always gonna be
Suffering

I feel like I need to get out of this place that I'm in. Just waiting and suffering. I need to feel other things besides hurt. I'm going to look on the brighter side of things and wait out the bad. They say there's a calm before the storm, but I think there's also a calm after. I just need to ride this out.

Chris' prayer: Falling Up's "Places"

Over the last couple of years, one of the main things I have been learning how to do is to accept things graciously. I've been learning to accept the compliments that others give me whilst still being humble. I've been learning to accept gifts graciously, and allow others to share their love for me. And I've been learning to accept help more graciously.

That one has been the hardest for me. I am such a control freak, and even worse, a very prideful person. Whatever needs to be done, I can do it on my own. Whether it be a group project in college, where I always took on the biggest role to assure the project got done "right;" planning a Life Night to assure it was done "my way;" or asserting that I can make it through a major knee operation without any assistance whatsoever. My pride tells me that I can do it on my own. But I'm working on it. I'm working on asking God,

Can you take everything that I hold?

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Megan's prayer: Falling Up's "Places"

Hurting you

It’s always been a struggle for me to be kind and loving towards those who are mean to me or hurt me. I try to be understanding and see where they are coming from, but sometimes those fail me, and I end up just blowing those people off. I justify it with “If they aren’t going to be nice to me, why should I be nice to them?”

Needing you

When it comes to someone needing me for something, I’m normally right there, offering as much assistance as I can. I really love helping others, because I know that so many times before I have asked others for their assistance, and I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t had such generous friends and family.

Hurting you, needing you.

What if there is a connection between the hurting and the needing? What if those people who are hurting me, are really just trying to get my attention, trying to get my help, but I just blow them off because they bother me? What if the only thing they know is hurt, and instead of me greeting them with outstretched arms, I turn away? How can I not see that maybe the hurting is because of the needing?

Luckily God has figured this one out. He’s not going to turn his back on someone just because they said something mean to him. He’s not going to give up on someone because they are angry at him. In fact, he is going to remain there, knowing that they need him more than ever.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Jars of Clay's "Crazy Love"

And then pretend that you can't hear
These teardrops comin' down

being vulnerable is really hard for me because when people care a lot for me i feel that i dont deserve it. so more often than not, ill put on a happy face no matter what. i know that it is a bad thing and im trying to stop and im actually doing better. but i want to be able to have the strength and ability to not even try to hide my tears from God because i accept that He can fix them. My apologies for the short post, but it's my sister's birthday so i must clean the house! :)

im praying for you all!!! :)

Marie's Prayer: Jars of Clay's "Crazy Love"

Refusing to unwind

Sometimes I don't realize how tightly wound I am. I pull the string of stress and hurt all around me until I can't move. I refuse to untangle myself and let loose. Today I want God to help me let go of that string and unwind. Let myself be open to actually living life, not just going through the motions.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Crazy Love"

Tonight I'm gonna break away, just you wait and see

Ah, how I love those words: "just you wait and see." Always preceded or followed by some kind of wild promise against all expectations, one which no one around even begins to believe, it is made anyway. It is no different in this song. Dan Haseltine sings about getting over a love lost, but it could be about anything and everything.

And, for me, it has been.

From saying that I am going to read the entire Bible, cover to cover, to running a certain number of miles in a year, to overcoming the sins I struggle with, I cannot count the number of times I've said, either to myself or to others, "Just you wait and see..."

And yet, I fail. Over and over and over again, I fail.

The good news, however, comes a little bit later in the song:

It happens all the time.

Here, Haseltine is singing about letting his heart get wrapped up in his "crazy love." Again and again, his heart is open to love. Despite the pain that comes. Despite the suffering. Despite the failing.

I guess it could be seen as a bad thing, to keep trusting that love will work out when it has shown no sign in the past. I guess letting "it happen all the time" could be a bad thing and not at all healthy. But, in one way, it gives me hope. Despite the failure that I've endured with my just-you-wait-and-sees, I have hope that, by the grace of God, by the love of God, all things can be conquered.

It can happen. It will happen. Just you wait and see.


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Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Crazy Love"

Today’s song holds the words I wish I could say:

"Tonight I’m going to break away."

As wonderful as my life is, there are certain things that I want to just break away from. I want to break away from the stress that I constantly experience. I want to break away from the demands and the expectations that I have been feeling. But most of all, I want to break away from the monotony of life and just be consumed in God’s love and have no other cares in the world.

I want to live the words “Tonight I’m going to break away” but instead I’ll end up saying “Tonight I wish I could break away.”

There is some fear inside of me that doesn’t allow me to take this leap of faith. I’m so worried that if I do jump, no one will be there to catch me. I want to be able to break away, but I’m too scared that I will just screw up or make a mistake. I want to give myself fully to God, but something inside of me holds me back.

Hopefully someday I can find the courage to break away.

Marie's Prayer: Steven Curtis Chapman's "Miracle of Mercy"

If the truth was known and a light was shown
On every hidden part of my soul
Most would turn away, shake their head and say
he still has such a long way to go

I am pretty sure I have a very long way to go. Recently a light was shone and truth was told to me by my dad. This was a very awkward conversation for me, and sometimes I wish I hadn't asked. But I know it's better for me to know and I try to seek knowledge about anything I can. I know I shouldn't turn away from the truth God has given me. So I'm going to try super hard to not let uncomfortability get in the way of knowledge.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Steven Curtis Chapman's "Miracle of Mercy"

If the truth was known, you'd see...the only good in me is Jesus.

i always give myself more credit than is probably due. i try to do the right thing but the majority of the time, i mess up. i mean who doesn't? i still have such a long way to go. my goal is that when people look at me, they won't even see me. that they will be able to look past my face and see Jesus shining through. i am always so ashamed of my sins. if there is one thing i can't stand, it is disappointing people. i honestly cannot handle it - i cant even describe what it does to me. i disappointed my mom once 2 summers ago and she was so upset and i cried for 3 days without stopping. because nothing hurts me more than when people help me and expect something and then i let them down. that is probably why i have problems with words of encouragement. and look at all of the things God has given me and all of the help He has guided me with. and yet i never fail to put myself first and disregard rules while taking His forgiveness for granted. but i guess...what mercy is - is that He will not only help me through that, but He will even forgive me for it! He is so good!!

Chris' prayer: Steven Curtis Chapman's "Miracle of Mercy"

Sometimes it is hard to see how much I am worth. Whether that be because things happen to be going wrong in my life, or because people don't see how hard I try, or how much I care, sometimes it is just tough to feel just how valuable I am.

This song serves as a reminder of our worth in the eyes of our Savior. Despite our sinfulness, despite our weakness and fear, Jesus knows just how much we are worth. Our Lord knows exactly who we are. He died to show us that his Love overcomes everything- all of our sinfullness, all of our weakness and fear, even death. Love conquers all. That is the Miracle of Mercy.

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Megan's prayer: Steven Curtis Chapman's "Miracle of Mercy"

Seven words. Eighteen letters. So easy, a first grader could read it. And yet, it is something I constantly struggle with.

He loves me… just as I am.

Just as I am? Really? Even including all of my faults, all of my imperfections, all of my worries, all of my fears, all of my sins?

Sometimes I don’t understand why. Sometimes I feel like I let others down, I let myself down, and I even let God down, yet still he loves me?

That’s awesome!

Erinnicole's Prayer: Jason Upton's "Poverty"

where will we turn when our world falls apart?

that question seems almost rhetorical. because it's like...if people, myself included, knew where to turn when their world is falling apart, wouldn't there be less heartache or depression? But it seems to me that the answer is, as it should be, simple. Turn to God when your world is falling apart. For me personally, it's a little easier said than done because i enjoy directions; i like specific "here is what you need to do to fix your problems" directions. and talking to God requires patience and listening which are two skills i have yet to conquer in any way... The song brought to my attention that God is as good as it gets. We spoke in my Theology class about how you can't get better than God; He is the Ultimate. If you can think of the GREATEST BEING IN THE WORLD, He is greater. Anything you can think of to try and match or beat God doesn't exist because God will top that because He is the Greatest there ever is, was, and will be. It was kind of a hard concept to fully grasp but it makes so much sense once it clicks. No Earthly possession or worry holds any weight in God's Kingdom, so God will help me through the problems i create for myself and into the Kingdom He has created for us all. It's a very comforting feeling.

Marie's Prayer: Jason Upton's "Poverty"

There's a brewing frustration and ageless temptation

This sentence really captures me right now. If you could put these words into a picture, I would think of them as a picture of me. This past year has been really stressful for me, luckily one of those stresses isn't cancer. (Thank you that was the worst waiting of my life.) But right now I kind of just feel angry. I feel like everyone is moving forward and I'm just standing right where I've always been. So I'm asking God today to help me let go of that anger and move on with my life, even if it's hard to resist old temptations.

Chris' prayer: Jason Upton's "Poverty"

There's a power in poverty that breaks principalities
And brings the authorities down to their knees

What is the "power in poverty" of which Upton speaks? In light of the recession that the United States, and in fact much of the world, is mired in, I find this song and this article from the New York Times, which I discovered yesterday via ThinkChristian.net, particularly poignant.

The principalities and authorities about which Upton speaks might be literal, but I wonder if they might be more personal. The principalities, instead of being a state or province, might better reflect our lives and the things we build around ourselves. The authority is, therefore, ourselves, the ones who do the building.

The power in poverty is an increased reliance on God. When we cannot maintain the things around us– when we can no longer afford to keep cable in our homes, or to eat out as much; or even worse, when we are struggling to meet our more basic needs– making the mortgage payment, affording to repair a cracked windshield, finding even the grocery bill painful– all that we can do is turn to our God. I know I can relate to this.

The struggle is in taking the power of poverty, our fuller reliance on God, and applying it to the areas of and times in our lives where we experience wealth.

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Megan's prayer: Jason Upton's "Poverty"

Christmas shopping has never been the most fun thing to do because I spend so much time stressing over what I should get everyone. Today’s song showed me that this worry is unnecessary.

“All of the treasures we’ve stored in our barns can’t buy the Kingdom of God.”

The media tells us that we must have the newest electronics, the most expensive cars, and name brand clothes if we want to be happy. The more that we buy, the happier we become. Although many people buy into that belief, I’m pretty sure that what I buy from Target and Best Buy this season for my family and friends will not lead them to lifelong happiness.

While rereading a homily from this past weekend, one phrase in particular caught my eye. The priest said “We are called to remember that the source of our joy is not what we’ve have, but what we have already been given—the presence of God with us.”

I wish that this holiday season I was able to wrap up God’s presence and give it to people. It truly would be the best present that someone could receive, but I’m not sure exactly how to go about doing that. Maybe I should check Ebay.

Marie's Prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "Rockstar"

The phrase that caught my eye is one that I've heard oh so many times lately.

Isn't that a shame?

This phrase has been said to me so many times I'm beginning to think it's the thesis of my life. So I want to ask God to maybe keep people from this shame. When you hear someone telling you that something bad or sad has happened to them maybe try not to say "That's a shame" or even "I understand". I just want to know that God is there, I don't really care if He understands, just having Him there is enough.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Cheer Up Charlie "Rockstar"

this is the cutest, most upbeat song i've heard in a while. i love it. i'm really drawn to times and things with numbers, so again i have to comment on the timing of this song. the song is one minute and 44 seconds long, which holds personal meaning for me. long story short, 44 is what i call a "God Number" which is God speaking to me through that number and basically reminding me that He is always there - because i see it in random miscellaneous places like bus number 44 will pass me on the highway or the tax on my taco will come out to 44 cents. [[ill tell the story in its entirety to anyone who would like to hear it later, its just kind of lengthy and i dont want to digress from this topic]] so that idea of God being there and reminding me of that ties into the part of the song that stuck out most to me:

"I forgot your name in my 3 minutes of fame"

This kind of makes me a little sad because it made me think of how i so easily and more often than i like, forget God doing simple day to day things. Obviously, He is always here with me but i just forget the littlest things like that while i'm walking from class to class by myself, He is by my side. As well as me usually forgetting Him in the times that really count - any time i have the floor on an issue or anything i could use His help in [my "3 minutes of fame"], i often forget and get too caught up in my own thoughts and ideas. this is something i would like to work on, i truly would...but in all irony, i tend to forget i have the problem until its brought to my attention. but this is a nice reminder and ill keep working on it!

Chris' prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "Rockstar"

When I picture CUC's "Rockstar" I see this animation of two hand-drawn lines, slowly approaching each other. One of the lines is straight, constant, and easy to define. It is the first verse, where the dominant word is "you." This line I like to call, "God."

The other line, however, looks a lot like a stock market ticker. I can see that it moves closer to the first line over time, but very erratically. There are times where the second line is moving away from the first, times where it is moving parallel to the first, and others where it, ever so slightly, turns toward the first line. In the second verse, the dominant word is "I." This verse is all about me.

God and I have something in common. Both of us are largely consumed with chris. God's dominant word, you, shows who He is concerned with. So does mine. He is so focused on pursuing me that his hand-drawn line is constantly heading in my direction, constantly attempting to come closer to me.

My line, however, is all over the place. Consumed with anything and everything...except that line. It is only when I'm able to put aside those things and focus on God that I'm able to deepen my relationship with Him. It is only then that I can hear Him saying

I wanna be where you are.

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Megan's prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "Rockstar"

At 2:30am this morning, I printed off my final paper for the semester. I had made it. I had finished all the papers, projects, observations, and exams. For three minutes, I had this wonderful feeling of “It’s done!” and then I laid down in my bed, and instantly my mind started racing, reminding me of just how much I still have left to do before Christmas.

As soon as I woke up this morning, I turned on my computer and started to listen to “Rockstar” in an attempt to prepare me for the day. It’s a catchy tune, one that will most likely be in my head all day. The words that I keep singing over and over are…

“We’ve got a ways to go, we’ve got a ways to go. A ways to go, we’ve got a ways to go.”

I appreciate this little reminder from God. I thought that since exams were over I would have this time to just rest, but in reality, we are in the last push of Advent – the time for me to prepare myself for the coming of Christ – and I still have a ways to go before I am ready for that.

Thank you, God, for helping me get a better perspective of what is important in my life. And thank you for sending it in such a catchy tune. I’ll be singing it, and thinking about you, all day.