Erinnicole's Prayer: Jars of Clay's "Crazy Love"

And then pretend that you can't hear
These teardrops comin' down

being vulnerable is really hard for me because when people care a lot for me i feel that i dont deserve it. so more often than not, ill put on a happy face no matter what. i know that it is a bad thing and im trying to stop and im actually doing better. but i want to be able to have the strength and ability to not even try to hide my tears from God because i accept that He can fix them. My apologies for the short post, but it's my sister's birthday so i must clean the house! :)

im praying for you all!!! :)

Marie's Prayer: Jars of Clay's "Crazy Love"

Refusing to unwind

Sometimes I don't realize how tightly wound I am. I pull the string of stress and hurt all around me until I can't move. I refuse to untangle myself and let loose. Today I want God to help me let go of that string and unwind. Let myself be open to actually living life, not just going through the motions.

Chris' prayer: Jars of Clay's "Crazy Love"

Tonight I'm gonna break away, just you wait and see

Ah, how I love those words: "just you wait and see." Always preceded or followed by some kind of wild promise against all expectations, one which no one around even begins to believe, it is made anyway. It is no different in this song. Dan Haseltine sings about getting over a love lost, but it could be about anything and everything.

And, for me, it has been.

From saying that I am going to read the entire Bible, cover to cover, to running a certain number of miles in a year, to overcoming the sins I struggle with, I cannot count the number of times I've said, either to myself or to others, "Just you wait and see..."

And yet, I fail. Over and over and over again, I fail.

The good news, however, comes a little bit later in the song:

It happens all the time.

Here, Haseltine is singing about letting his heart get wrapped up in his "crazy love." Again and again, his heart is open to love. Despite the pain that comes. Despite the suffering. Despite the failing.

I guess it could be seen as a bad thing, to keep trusting that love will work out when it has shown no sign in the past. I guess letting "it happen all the time" could be a bad thing and not at all healthy. But, in one way, it gives me hope. Despite the failure that I've endured with my just-you-wait-and-sees, I have hope that, by the grace of God, by the love of God, all things can be conquered.

It can happen. It will happen. Just you wait and see.


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Megan's prayer: Jars of Clay's "Crazy Love"

Today’s song holds the words I wish I could say:

"Tonight I’m going to break away."

As wonderful as my life is, there are certain things that I want to just break away from. I want to break away from the stress that I constantly experience. I want to break away from the demands and the expectations that I have been feeling. But most of all, I want to break away from the monotony of life and just be consumed in God’s love and have no other cares in the world.

I want to live the words “Tonight I’m going to break away” but instead I’ll end up saying “Tonight I wish I could break away.”

There is some fear inside of me that doesn’t allow me to take this leap of faith. I’m so worried that if I do jump, no one will be there to catch me. I want to be able to break away, but I’m too scared that I will just screw up or make a mistake. I want to give myself fully to God, but something inside of me holds me back.

Hopefully someday I can find the courage to break away.

Marie's Prayer: Steven Curtis Chapman's "Miracle of Mercy"

If the truth was known and a light was shown
On every hidden part of my soul
Most would turn away, shake their head and say
he still has such a long way to go

I am pretty sure I have a very long way to go. Recently a light was shone and truth was told to me by my dad. This was a very awkward conversation for me, and sometimes I wish I hadn't asked. But I know it's better for me to know and I try to seek knowledge about anything I can. I know I shouldn't turn away from the truth God has given me. So I'm going to try super hard to not let uncomfortability get in the way of knowledge.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Steven Curtis Chapman's "Miracle of Mercy"

If the truth was known, you'd see...the only good in me is Jesus.

i always give myself more credit than is probably due. i try to do the right thing but the majority of the time, i mess up. i mean who doesn't? i still have such a long way to go. my goal is that when people look at me, they won't even see me. that they will be able to look past my face and see Jesus shining through. i am always so ashamed of my sins. if there is one thing i can't stand, it is disappointing people. i honestly cannot handle it - i cant even describe what it does to me. i disappointed my mom once 2 summers ago and she was so upset and i cried for 3 days without stopping. because nothing hurts me more than when people help me and expect something and then i let them down. that is probably why i have problems with words of encouragement. and look at all of the things God has given me and all of the help He has guided me with. and yet i never fail to put myself first and disregard rules while taking His forgiveness for granted. but i guess...what mercy is - is that He will not only help me through that, but He will even forgive me for it! He is so good!!

Chris' prayer: Steven Curtis Chapman's "Miracle of Mercy"

Sometimes it is hard to see how much I am worth. Whether that be because things happen to be going wrong in my life, or because people don't see how hard I try, or how much I care, sometimes it is just tough to feel just how valuable I am.

This song serves as a reminder of our worth in the eyes of our Savior. Despite our sinfulness, despite our weakness and fear, Jesus knows just how much we are worth. Our Lord knows exactly who we are. He died to show us that his Love overcomes everything- all of our sinfullness, all of our weakness and fear, even death. Love conquers all. That is the Miracle of Mercy.

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Megan's prayer: Steven Curtis Chapman's "Miracle of Mercy"

Seven words. Eighteen letters. So easy, a first grader could read it. And yet, it is something I constantly struggle with.

He loves me… just as I am.

Just as I am? Really? Even including all of my faults, all of my imperfections, all of my worries, all of my fears, all of my sins?

Sometimes I don’t understand why. Sometimes I feel like I let others down, I let myself down, and I even let God down, yet still he loves me?

That’s awesome!

Erinnicole's Prayer: Jason Upton's "Poverty"

where will we turn when our world falls apart?

that question seems almost rhetorical. because it's like...if people, myself included, knew where to turn when their world is falling apart, wouldn't there be less heartache or depression? But it seems to me that the answer is, as it should be, simple. Turn to God when your world is falling apart. For me personally, it's a little easier said than done because i enjoy directions; i like specific "here is what you need to do to fix your problems" directions. and talking to God requires patience and listening which are two skills i have yet to conquer in any way... The song brought to my attention that God is as good as it gets. We spoke in my Theology class about how you can't get better than God; He is the Ultimate. If you can think of the GREATEST BEING IN THE WORLD, He is greater. Anything you can think of to try and match or beat God doesn't exist because God will top that because He is the Greatest there ever is, was, and will be. It was kind of a hard concept to fully grasp but it makes so much sense once it clicks. No Earthly possession or worry holds any weight in God's Kingdom, so God will help me through the problems i create for myself and into the Kingdom He has created for us all. It's a very comforting feeling.

Marie's Prayer: Jason Upton's "Poverty"

There's a brewing frustration and ageless temptation

This sentence really captures me right now. If you could put these words into a picture, I would think of them as a picture of me. This past year has been really stressful for me, luckily one of those stresses isn't cancer. (Thank you that was the worst waiting of my life.) But right now I kind of just feel angry. I feel like everyone is moving forward and I'm just standing right where I've always been. So I'm asking God today to help me let go of that anger and move on with my life, even if it's hard to resist old temptations.

Chris' prayer: Jason Upton's "Poverty"

There's a power in poverty that breaks principalities
And brings the authorities down to their knees

What is the "power in poverty" of which Upton speaks? In light of the recession that the United States, and in fact much of the world, is mired in, I find this song and this article from the New York Times, which I discovered yesterday via ThinkChristian.net, particularly poignant.

The principalities and authorities about which Upton speaks might be literal, but I wonder if they might be more personal. The principalities, instead of being a state or province, might better reflect our lives and the things we build around ourselves. The authority is, therefore, ourselves, the ones who do the building.

The power in poverty is an increased reliance on God. When we cannot maintain the things around us– when we can no longer afford to keep cable in our homes, or to eat out as much; or even worse, when we are struggling to meet our more basic needs– making the mortgage payment, affording to repair a cracked windshield, finding even the grocery bill painful– all that we can do is turn to our God. I know I can relate to this.

The struggle is in taking the power of poverty, our fuller reliance on God, and applying it to the areas of and times in our lives where we experience wealth.

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Megan's prayer: Jason Upton's "Poverty"

Christmas shopping has never been the most fun thing to do because I spend so much time stressing over what I should get everyone. Today’s song showed me that this worry is unnecessary.

“All of the treasures we’ve stored in our barns can’t buy the Kingdom of God.”

The media tells us that we must have the newest electronics, the most expensive cars, and name brand clothes if we want to be happy. The more that we buy, the happier we become. Although many people buy into that belief, I’m pretty sure that what I buy from Target and Best Buy this season for my family and friends will not lead them to lifelong happiness.

While rereading a homily from this past weekend, one phrase in particular caught my eye. The priest said “We are called to remember that the source of our joy is not what we’ve have, but what we have already been given—the presence of God with us.”

I wish that this holiday season I was able to wrap up God’s presence and give it to people. It truly would be the best present that someone could receive, but I’m not sure exactly how to go about doing that. Maybe I should check Ebay.

Marie's Prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "Rockstar"

The phrase that caught my eye is one that I've heard oh so many times lately.

Isn't that a shame?

This phrase has been said to me so many times I'm beginning to think it's the thesis of my life. So I want to ask God to maybe keep people from this shame. When you hear someone telling you that something bad or sad has happened to them maybe try not to say "That's a shame" or even "I understand". I just want to know that God is there, I don't really care if He understands, just having Him there is enough.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Cheer Up Charlie "Rockstar"

this is the cutest, most upbeat song i've heard in a while. i love it. i'm really drawn to times and things with numbers, so again i have to comment on the timing of this song. the song is one minute and 44 seconds long, which holds personal meaning for me. long story short, 44 is what i call a "God Number" which is God speaking to me through that number and basically reminding me that He is always there - because i see it in random miscellaneous places like bus number 44 will pass me on the highway or the tax on my taco will come out to 44 cents. [[ill tell the story in its entirety to anyone who would like to hear it later, its just kind of lengthy and i dont want to digress from this topic]] so that idea of God being there and reminding me of that ties into the part of the song that stuck out most to me:

"I forgot your name in my 3 minutes of fame"

This kind of makes me a little sad because it made me think of how i so easily and more often than i like, forget God doing simple day to day things. Obviously, He is always here with me but i just forget the littlest things like that while i'm walking from class to class by myself, He is by my side. As well as me usually forgetting Him in the times that really count - any time i have the floor on an issue or anything i could use His help in [my "3 minutes of fame"], i often forget and get too caught up in my own thoughts and ideas. this is something i would like to work on, i truly would...but in all irony, i tend to forget i have the problem until its brought to my attention. but this is a nice reminder and ill keep working on it!

Chris' prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "Rockstar"

When I picture CUC's "Rockstar" I see this animation of two hand-drawn lines, slowly approaching each other. One of the lines is straight, constant, and easy to define. It is the first verse, where the dominant word is "you." This line I like to call, "God."

The other line, however, looks a lot like a stock market ticker. I can see that it moves closer to the first line over time, but very erratically. There are times where the second line is moving away from the first, times where it is moving parallel to the first, and others where it, ever so slightly, turns toward the first line. In the second verse, the dominant word is "I." This verse is all about me.

God and I have something in common. Both of us are largely consumed with chris. God's dominant word, you, shows who He is concerned with. So does mine. He is so focused on pursuing me that his hand-drawn line is constantly heading in my direction, constantly attempting to come closer to me.

My line, however, is all over the place. Consumed with anything and everything...except that line. It is only when I'm able to put aside those things and focus on God that I'm able to deepen my relationship with Him. It is only then that I can hear Him saying

I wanna be where you are.

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Megan's prayer: Cheer Up Charlie's "Rockstar"

At 2:30am this morning, I printed off my final paper for the semester. I had made it. I had finished all the papers, projects, observations, and exams. For three minutes, I had this wonderful feeling of “It’s done!” and then I laid down in my bed, and instantly my mind started racing, reminding me of just how much I still have left to do before Christmas.

As soon as I woke up this morning, I turned on my computer and started to listen to “Rockstar” in an attempt to prepare me for the day. It’s a catchy tune, one that will most likely be in my head all day. The words that I keep singing over and over are…

“We’ve got a ways to go, we’ve got a ways to go. A ways to go, we’ve got a ways to go.”

I appreciate this little reminder from God. I thought that since exams were over I would have this time to just rest, but in reality, we are in the last push of Advent – the time for me to prepare myself for the coming of Christ – and I still have a ways to go before I am ready for that.

Thank you, God, for helping me get a better perspective of what is important in my life. And thank you for sending it in such a catchy tune. I’ll be singing it, and thinking about you, all day.

Marie's Prayer: Bebo Norman's "How You Love Me"

The thing that hits me in this song is the line,

"and fear has run the other way."

One of my biggest issues is that I'm afraid. I'm afraid of living, I'm afraid of losing, but the thing that scares me most is loving. I find it hard to believe in unconditional love that can never go away no matter what. I always have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something will go wrong because that's the way it's been for me most of my life.

I pray that fear might run away. That there's some love out there that's big enough to scare away our biggest fears. Hope is all we have and even though we may not see it, we have to trust that it's there. Don't let fear keep you from living life and make you miss out on love that is all around, even if you don't think it is.

Erinnicole's Prayer: Bebo Norman's "How You Love Me"

the first thing that caught my attention with this song was hey i actually know this one! but then i was like...hm...i don't recognize these words. which is because ive never actually listened to the words before. i listened to it a few times and two things came to me. The first was immediate: it is awesome to me that Norman was able to capture all of these emotions and truths into a such a short and simple song. There is no hesitation or "what-if"s, just plain and simple that God loves us.

The other part didn't hit me so immediately. the line that says:

"words are weak, i don't know what to say."

was powerful to me because even though i am a writer and words are my main outlet of expression, i often can't find the words to pray with. I know what i want in life at this moment in time and i know what i should want and i sort of know what i need and putting them all into some sort of verbal order is almost impossible for me. I was just praying last night, after the end of a pretty bad week, "Jesus, i know i need you, but honestly i don't know where to begin or how to say it." so i just remained in His Presence and it was calming. so the song today was good because i realized two things. One, i'm not the only one with this problem - always a comforting thought, and two, words aren't the only form of prayer. somewhere in my mind, i knew that. but i completely forgot until today.

:)

Megan's prayer: Bebo Norman's "How You Love Me"

One of my biggest pet peeves in life is when things are unorganized. I love having things planned out ahead of time, making “to-do” lists, and knowing what is going to happen next.

As much as I try to keep my life in order, plenty of times things go wrong. Last night, for example, I planned to spend the whole night finishing up some papers for school and not going to bed until they were done so that today could be a day of relaxation. But instead, I found myself with a severe case of writer’s block and went to bed early without finishing what I had planned on finishing.

I was so frustrated that things didn’t go how they were planned, but today’s song really put it in perspective.

“And should my dreams fall through, I will be safe with you.”

This isn’t just referring to one night when things don’t go my way, it’s talking about entire dreams not working out as planned. And still, we don't need to worry. God doesn’t want us to stress out over the big stuff, and especially not the little stuff. No matter what, God will be there in the end, and everything will be perfect.

What a wonderful message to start my day with!

Chris' prayer: Bebo Norman's "How You Love Me"

I've had a little while to think about this song, the first song in my journey. The playlist I'll be going by was created about two weeks ago, so I've known that this will be the first song for about 14 days...far longer than I'll get for any other song.

I've spent that time thinking of what I was going to say about this one, one of my favorite songs right now. I've thought of about 20 different directions I could take this prayer in, and decided on one this morning on my way to work.

Then I began the prayer and everything changed.

The word that caught me, the word that changed everything for me, is there in the first line, repeated to make sure that I caught it.

Hope came home, home to me today...

Hope belongs in every one of us. It is a part of us. It is in our nature. As Norman says in the song, hope is at home when it resides inside of our very being. And when it finally returns home, no matter how long it has been gone nor where it has gone, it replaces the troubles that have been on our heart. Whether that be impending finals, wondering if you're going to have a job next month, issues between you and a family member or friend, or, in my case, an all encompassing, possibly irrational fear that my car is going to break down and not knowing how I'm going to be afford to fix it. None of these fears, none of these troubles, is at home in our hearts.

Only hope.

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