Until You I never knew a lifetime guaranteed
Friend could really be my reality
I am very confident in myself and in all of my abilities, with the exception of one or two. One of my insecurities is that I am completely a people-pleaser. I just love seeing people happy and hate to see them upset, especially at me. I know that it is a nice thought but it definitely ends up almost tearing me apart because I am trying so hard to give everyone different things. Along with the territory of people pleaser, comes "friend-pleaser". If my friends aren't happy with me, I'm not happy at all. My other insecurity is reading into things. These two make a truly terrible combination in that reasoning that, I love talking and when my friends aren't talking for whatever reason, I immediately assume I've done something wrong. I've been too clingy, pushed too hard, talked too much, done something, anything to upset them. So I am in a constant battle between my mind, where I am always losing someone, and reality where my friends and I are just fine. I am surrounded by friends, people that care about me, that is. But I somehow always manage to feel lonely when my two closest friends are busy. It really takes a toll on my energy feeling like I have no friends or that I am on the verge of such a thing. More energy convincing myself that I'm not.
When I remember Jesus as a friend, it truly comforts me. Jesus is my Everything - My Redeemer, My Strength, My Courage, My Life. He is so powerful!! So how could He possibly be something as simple as my friend? He has lots of things to do and likes hearing my prayers, no doubt. But how my day was? What boy I like? What dress I want to wear to winter formal? It takes a lot for me to, not realize, but understand how He could care about things like that when I seem to so easily blow Him off. But He does...for whatever the reason, He does. And it's a wonderful thing for me to be able to say, "my best friend is Jesus!...and He always will be."