I will wear the name of Jesus
I will give Him all my life
I feel like I go through these cycles. Cycles of realization that I’m really bad at running my own life, giving it to God to run, and then slowly taking back control before I get back to that realization again. Right now I’m at that re-realization part. Boy, I’ve messed up a lot. (: And I really do need God’s help here. But it’s hard, ya know? It’s hard, mainly cause of these lines here...
There were times you didn't understand
It must have been so hard to see His plan
If I give it all to God, then who knows what will happen! Who knows what He’ll have me do? If I keep it to myself, at least I can fool myself into thinking that I have control over what happens in my life. I’m reminded of a quote from a book - Stirring It Up by Paul Masek. “Life with God is an adventure. And He might lead you to some very interesting, challenging, uncomfortable, and even dangerous places. Don’t worry, though. He will be with you.”
I guess in the end, that’s all that really matters. Who cares if things don’t end up how I want them to. Who cares if I don’t fully understand. Who cares if I can’t see God’s plan for me right now. God’s with me, and He’s going to walk me through it. And He won’t take me anywhere I can’t handle.
All that said, it’s still hard to give away my control. And I’m probably going to work on it for a little while longer. And who knows, I might even take a few more rounds of ‘the cycle.’
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